html
{
margin: 0;
/* setting border: 0 hoses ie6 win window inner well border */
padding: 0;
}
body
{
margin: 0;
/* setting border: 0 hoses ie5 win window inner well border */
padding: 0;
font-family: verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;
font-size: 12px;
}
form { margin: 0; padding: 0; }
a { text-decoration: underline; }
a img { border: 0; }
h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 { font-weight: normal; }
h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ol, ul, pre, blockquote
{
margin-top: 10px;
margin-bottom: 10px;
}
/* standard helper classes */
.clr
{
clear: both;
overflow: hidden;
width: 1px;
height: 1px;
margin: 0 -1px -1px 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
font-size: 0;
line-height: 0;
}
/* .pkg class wraps enclosing block element around inner floated elements */
.pkg:after
{
content: " ";
display: block;
visibility: hidden;
clear: both;
height: 0.1px;
font-size: 0.1em;
line-height: 0;
}
* html .pkg { display: inline-block; }
/* no ie mac \*/
* html .pkg { height: 1%; }
.pkg { display: block; }
/* */
/* page layout */
body { text-align: center; } /* center on ie */
#container
{
position: relative;
margin: 0 auto; /* center on everything else */
width: 902px;
text-align: left;
}
#container-inner { position: static; width: auto; }
#banner { position: relative; }
#banner-inner { position: static; }
#pagebody { position: relative; width: 100%; }
#pagebody-inner { position: static; width: 100%; }
#alpha, #beta, #gamma, #delta
{
display: inline; /* ie win bugfix */
position: relative;
float: left;
min-height: 1px;
}
#delta { float: right; }
#alpha-inner, #beta-inner, #gamma-inner, #delta-inner
{
position: static;
}
/* banner user/photo */
.banner-user
{
float: left;
overflow: hidden;
width: 64px;
margin: 0 15px 0 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
text-align: center;
}
.banner-user-photo
{
display: block;
margin: 0 0 2px 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
background-position: center center;
background-repeat: no-repeat;
text-decoration: none !important;
}
.banner-user-photo img
{
width: 64px;
height: auto;
margin: 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
}
/* content */
.content-nav
{
margin: 10px;
text-align: center;
}
.date-header,
.entry-content
{
position: static;
clear: both;
}
.entry,
.trackbacks,
.comments,
.archive
{
position: static;
overflow: hidden;
clear: both;
width: 100%;
margin-bottom: 20px;
}
.entry-content,
.trackbacks-info,
.trackback-content,
.comment-content,
.comments-open-content,
.comments-closed
{
clear: both;
margin: 5px 10px;
}
.entry-excerpt,
.entry-body,
.entry-more-link,
.entry-more
{
clear: both;
}
.entry-footer,
.trackback-footer,
.comment-footer,
.comments-open-footer,
.archive-content
{
clear: both;
margin: 5px 10px 20px 10px;
}
.comments-open label { display: block; }
#comment-author, #comment-email, #comment-url, #comment-text
{
width: 240px;
}
#comment-bake-cookie
{
margin-left: 0;
vertical-align: middle;
}
#comment-post
{
font-weight: bold;
}
img.image-full { width: 100%; }
.image-thumbnail
{
float: left;
width: 115px;
margin: 0 10px 10px 0;
}
.image-thumbnail img
{
width: 115px;
height: 115px;
margin: 0 0 2px 0;
}
/* modules */
.module
{
position: relative;
overflow: hidden;
width: 100%;
}
.module-content
{
position: relative;
margin: 5px 10px 20px 10px;
}
.module-list,
.archive-list
{
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
list-style: none;
}
.module-list-item
{
margin-top: 5px;
margin-bottom: 5px;
}
.module-presence img { vertical-align: middle; }
.module-powered .module-content { margin-bottom: 10px; }
.module-photo .module-content { text-align: center; }
.module-wishlist .module-content { text-align: center; }
.module-calendar .module-content table
{
border-collapse: collapse;
}
.module-calendar .module-content th,
.module-calendar .module-content td
{
width: 14%;
text-align: center;
}
.typelist-thumbnailed { margin: 0 0 20px 0; }
.typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item
{
display: block;
clear: both;
margin: 0;
}
/* positioniseverything.net/easyclearing.html */
.typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item:after
{
content: " ";
display: block;
visibility: hidden;
clear: both;
height: 0.1px;
font-size: 0.1em;
line-height: 0;
}
* html .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { display: inline-block; }
/* no ie mac \*/
* html .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { height: 1%; }
.typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { display: block; }
/* */
.typelist-thumbnail
{
float: left;
min-width: 60px;
width: 60px;
/* no ie mac \*/width: auto;/* */
margin: 0 5px 0 0;
text-align: center;
vertical-align: middle;
}
.typelist-thumbnail img { margin: 5px; }
.module-galleries .typelist-thumbnail img { width: 50px; }
.typelist-description
{
margin: 0;
padding: 5px;
}
.module-featured-photo .module-content,
.module-photo .module-content
{
margin: 0;
}
.module-featured-photo img { width: 100%; }
.module-recent-photos { margin: 0 0 15px 0; }
.module-recent-photos .module-content { margin: 0; }
.module-recent-photos .module-list
{
display: block;
height: 1%;
margin: 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
list-style: none;
}
/* positioniseverything.net/easyclearing.html */
.module-recent-photos .module-list:after
{
content: " ";
display: block;
visibility: hidden;
clear: both;
height: 0.1px;
font-size: 0.1em;
line-height: 0;
}
* html .module-recent-photos .module-list { display: inline-block; }
/* no ie mac \*/
* html .module-recent-photos .module-list { height: 1%; }
.module-recent-photos .module-list { display: block; }
/* */
.module-recent-photos .module-list-item
{
display: block;
float: left;
/* ie win fix \*/ height: 1%; /**/
margin: 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
}
.module-recent-photos .module-list-item a
{
display: block;
margin: 0;
border: 0;
padding: 0;
}
.module-recent-photos .module-list-item img
{
width: 60px;
height: 60px;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
}
/* mmt calendar */
.module-mmt-calendar { margin-bottom: 15px; }
.module-mmt-calendar .module-content { margin: 0; }
.module-mmt-calendar .module-header { margin: 0; }
.module-mmt-calendar .module-header a { text-decoration: none; }
.module-mmt-calendar table { width: 100%; }
.module-mmt-calendar th { text-align: left; }
.module-mmt-calendar td
{
width: 14%;
height: 75px;
text-align: left;
vertical-align: top;
}
.day-photo
{
width: 54px;
height: 54px;
}
.day-photo a
{
display: block;
}
.day-photo a img
{
width: 50px;
height: 50px;
}
/* * theme * */
/* basic page elements */
body
{
font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;
font-size: 12px;
}
a { color: #36414d; text-decoration: underline; }
a:hover { color: #CCCC99; }
#banner a { color: #FFFFFF; text-decoration: none; }
#banner a:hover { color: #FFFFFF; }
h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6
{
font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;
}
.module-header,
.trackbacks-header,
.comments-header,
.comments-open-header,
.archive-header
{
/* ie win (5, 5.5, 6) bugfix */
p\osition: relative;
width: 100%;
w\idth: auto;
margin: 0;
border-top: 2px solid #660066;
border-right: 2px none #660066;
border-bottom: 2px solid #660066;
border-left: 2px none #CCCC99;
padding: 5px;
color: #660066;
background: #FFFFFF;
font-size: small;
font-weight:bold; line-height: 1;
}
.module-header a,
.module-header a:hover,
.trackbacks-header a,
.trackbacks-header a:hover,
.comments-header a,
.comments-header a:hover,
.comments-open-header a,
.comments-open-header a:hover
.archive-header a,
.archive-header a:hover
{
color: #660066;
}
.entry-more-link,
.entry-footer,
.comment-footer,
.trackback-footer,
.typelist-thumbnailed
{
font-size: px;
}
/* page layout */
body
{
min-width: 902px;
color: #CCCC99;
background: #CCCC99;
background-image: url("http://"); background-repeat: repeat-x;
}
#container
{
width:90%; margin-bottom: 20px;
background: #FFFFFF;
}
#container-inner
{
border-right: 5px solid #292E33;
border-bottom: 5px solid #292E33;
border-left: 5px solid #000000;
}
#banner
{
width: 100%;
padding: 50px
background-color: #CCCC99;
background-image: url("http://www.threekidcircus.com/test/mblegsheader.jpg"); background-repeat: no-repeat;
height: 191px;
}
#banner-inner
{
padding: 15px 13px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-left: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
#banner-header
{
margin: 0;
font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;
color: #660066;
font-size: small;
text-align: left;
font-weight:bold; line-height: 1;
}
#banner-description
{
margin-top: 5px;
margin-bottom: 0;
font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;
color: #660066;
font-size: small;
text-align: center;
font-weight:bold; background: none;
line-height: 1.125;
}
#alpha { float:left; margin: 0px 15px 0 15px; width:23%; background: #FFFFFF; background-repeat: no-repeat;
}
#beta { float:right; width:70%; background: transparent; }
#gamma, #delta { float:right; width:20%; background: transparent; }
#beta-inner,
#gamma-inner,
#delta-inner
{
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-width: 2px 2px 2px 0;
border-style: solid;
border-color: #fff;
}
#alpha-inner {
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
#beta-inner {
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
#gamma-inner {
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
.date-header
{
margin-top: 0;
background: #FFFFFF;
font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif;
text-align:left;
color: #660066;
font-size: x-small;
font-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase;
}
.entry-header
{
margin-top: 0;
background: #FFFFFF;
font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;
text-align:left;
color: #666666;
font-size: small;
font-weight:bold; padding: 5px;
border-left: 5px solid #CCCC99;
}
.entry-content,
.comment-content,
.trackback-content
{
background: #FFFFFF;
font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif;
text-align:left;
color: #333333;
font-size: small;
margin: 0;
line-height: 1.5;
}
.entry-footer,
.comment-footer,
.trackback-footer
{
background: #FFFFFF;
margin: 0 0 20px 0;
font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif;
text-align:right;
color: #666666;
font-size: x-small;
border-top: 1px solid #dae0e6;
}
.comment-content,
.trackback-content,
.comment-footer,
.trackback-footer
{
margin-left: 10px;
}
.content-nav { margin-top: 0; }
#trackbacks-info
{
margin: 10px 0;
border: 1px dashed #a3b8cc;
padding: 0 10px;
color: #292e33;
font-size: 11px;
background: #e6ecf2;
}
.comments-open-footer
{
margin: 10px 0;
}
/* modules */
.module
{
margin: 0 0 10px 0;
}
.module-content
{
margin: 0 0 10px 0;
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
line-height: 1.2;
background: #CCCC99;
font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif;
text-align:left;
color: #333333;
font-size: x-small;
border-top: 1px solid #cfd4d9;
}
.module-calendar .module-content { margin: 5px 0 15px 0; }
.module-mmt-calendar .module-content table,
.module-calendar .module-content table
{
font-size: 10px;
}
.module-powered { border-width: 0; }
.module-powered .module-content
{
margin-bottom: 0;
padding-bottom: 10px;
background: #FFFFFF;
font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif;
text-align:left;
color: #292e33;
font-size: x-small;
border-top: 1px dashed #CCCC99;
border-right: 1px dashed #CCCC99;
border-bottom: 1px dashed #CCCC99;
border-left: 1px dashed #CCCC99;
}
.module-photo { background: none; }
.module-photo img { border: solid 1px #fff; }
.module-list
{
margin: 0 15px 10px 15px;
list-style: disc;
}
.module-list .module-list
{
margin: 5px 0 0 0;
padding-left: 15px;
list-style: circle;
}
.module-list-item
{
margin-top: 0;
color: #666;
line-height: 1.2;
}
.module-search input { font-size: 10px; }
.module-search #search { width: 100px; }
.module-photo img { border: 3px solid #fff; }
/* comments */
textarea[id="comment-text"] { width: 80%; }
.commenter-profile img
{
vertical-align: middle;
border-width: 0;
}
/* one-column tweaks */
.layout-one-column body { min-width: 520px; }
.layout-one-column #container { width:90%; }
.layout-one-column #banner { width: 100%; } /* necessary for ie win */
/* two-column-left tweaks */
.layout-two-column-left #alpha
{
margin: 0;
width:23%; background: transparent;
float:left;
}
.layout-two-column-left #alpha-inner
{
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
.layout-two-column-left #beta
{
float:right;
margin: 15px 15px 0 15px;
width:65%; background: #FFFFFF;
}
.layout-two-column-left #beta-inner
{
padding: 0;
border-width: 0;
}
/* three-column tweaks */
.layout-three-column #alpha
{
margin: 0;
width:20%; background: transparent;
float:left;
}
.layout-three-column #alpha-inner
{
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
.layout-three-column #beta
{
float:left;
margin: 15px 15px 0 15px;
width:50%; background: #FFFFFF;
}
.layout-three-column #beta-inner
{
padding: 0;
border-width: 0;
}
.layout-three-column #gamma
{
margin: 0;
width:20%; background: transparent;
float:right;
}
.layout-three-column #gamma-inner
{
padding: 10px 10px 0 10px;
border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF;
}
« Would you stop growing so fast? Dude. You are freaking me out. |
Main
| Secret Insanity »
Around a quarter to five yesterday afternoon, all three of my children were caterwauling at my heels, yanking on my shirt, and pointing vigorously at one another. Someone had been wronged. The noise swirled around me, creating a tornado of sound. My children's voices are all so similar that it was impossible to distinguish which child had what complaint. I stood in front of my open freezer door, icy air streaming around me, bag of frozen corn forgotten in my hand. I felt my jaw tighten and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose.
Have you ever seen that movie, the one where Kevin Costner pitches the perfect game? As he prepares to throw his first pitch, he says his mantra, something like "clear the mechanism" and the world around him goes silent. He can't hear the screams and jeers of the crowd. He doesn't hear the chatter of the players around him. He sees only the catcher's mitt behind home plate. I don't remember much else about that movie, but that whole intense focus on the task at hand was impressive.
I'll admit, the first 'mantra' that came to mind when faced with three tattling kids and a dinner to make was along the lines of "be quiet and go to your rooms!" In a perfect world, I could utter that, and my children would disburse and go about their business. Okay, in a perfect world, there would be no need to say anything, because there would be no whining. I'd also have a personal chef.
Ahem.
The hairs on the nape of my neck were coated in frost as I let the chilled air escape into the kitchen. I could see the kids jockeying for position, mouths flapping and arms flailing. In slow motion, I put the bag of corn on the counter, and said, to no one in particular, "clear the mechanism!"
All three kids stood silent, jaws agape. My son looked askance at me, and when I tilted my chin at him, indicating that he might speak, he blurted "Mommy? Did you just say 'Clean the monkey?'" The other two nodded, looking fearful.
"Yes!" I boomed. "Clean. The. Monkey."
They collapsed into a giggling heap, while I maintained my cool, collected demeanor. My son patted the floor in between guffaws, his five year old laugh squeaky like new tennis shoes on a wooden floor. My oldest repeated "monkey cleaning is so funny!" The baby made monkey noises, and nodded her head emphatically, agreeing with her siblings that I had just said something completely ridiculous.
I leaned back against the counter, and felt my heart melt by the rise and fall of their voices. Total control and focus isn't really my thing anyway. My kids are more impressed by my wild pitches than my perfect strikes. Besides, I'm a sucker for the roar of the crowd.
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Comments
I love the word "caterwauling."
Posted by: steph | November 4, 2005 3:44 PM
That was beautiful.
Clean the monkey, indeed.
Posted by: carmen | November 4, 2005 9:24 PM
Clean the monkey! I must use that. It really did cause me to laugh!
Posted by: Kari | November 4, 2005 9:41 PM
Oh yes... I need that "Clean the monkey". I will use it and think of you! :)
Posted by: Cookie | November 4, 2005 9:50 PM
omg, i just laughed so hard tears spewed forth! clean the monkey was so surprising--just writing it is making me laugh again.
excellent idea this mommyblog.
Posted by: MoxieMomma | November 4, 2005 10:06 PM
Nothing like turning wailing into laughter. Good job.
Posted by: kassi | November 5, 2005 12:16 AM
That's awesome! "Clean the monkey!" In my head, it's in this very original Star Trek "State The Purpose!" sort of tone. (Okay, so I'm a maxi-geek, I suppose something the Wizard of Oz might say would be similar.)
I love the MommyBlog!
Posted by: Thorn | November 5, 2005 8:29 AM
And this, Jenny, is why you are my hero. You go with it, and so often...it works!!!
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