Mommy Bloggers: A Different Kind of Fun

If there is anyone reading this who does not feel a tiny bit strange stomping their feet, singing happy birthday and shouting “hooray!�? along with a poor soul in a mouse costume, a handful of three-year-olds, and a group of men and women you have seen put more beer away than you can count, please raise your hand. Because I was recently right there, and it struck me as just about the oddest thing I have ever experienced.

Last night my husband and I attended the birthday party of our friends three year old daughter. The party took place at a local pizza parlor, marketed to children. An establishment not only marketed to children, but also to the parents of children who see the clear and obvious value of throwing a birthday party for 8 kids at someone else’s place. Where the cake, food, and paper party-ware are included, and someone else cleans up. It was the kind of place where the kids are given fistfuls of tokens and are sent off to busy themselves with video games and seizure-inducing flashing lights. What in the world is not to like about that? I, for one, can certainly see the appeal.

In attendance were several men and women I have known since long before they were married and had children. Men and women I have traveled with, played with and partied with for years. And there we all were, laden with baby bjorns, donning diaper bags, wearing silly expressions and dancing with giant cartoon characters.

So, when did this happen to us? I wonder if, a decade ago, I would have ever thought I would be sitting at a table with a toddler in my lap, looking at my good friend dancing enthusiastically with her daughter and an enormous mouse. This is the very same friend whose grandmother once dragged her out of a keg party in front of our entire high school. My good friend who one day after school, snuck her grandma’s car silently down the alley in neutral, and drove me home from her house a solid 2 years before she was old enough to get her drivers license. She was fearless, and she was either always in trouble, or avoiding trouble by sheer luck and the skin of her teeth. And there she was, beaming and dancing away with her pre-school daughter who was also beaming and dancing. And it was a beautiful sight to behold.

As I looked around the room at my friends, I wanted to laugh. Not because of the sillyness of it all (and it is really kind of silly), but because of how funny it is the way life changes when you have children. My friends and I might have looked at a group of people like us years ago, looked at each other, and mouthed the word “LOSERS!�? My GOD would that have looked lame to us back then. We would have mocked us mercilessly.

But the fact of the matter is that when you have children, you do things that feel silly simply because it makes them happy. Seeing them smile is worth making a fool of yourself. You do it because you love them. And you really don’t care if the barely twenty-somethings are pointing and laughing at you. Because you know how much they have to learn about life, and you remember the days when you were the one doing the pointing and laughing.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, a client of mine, who is the father of twins, told me that life does not end when you become a parent. You just have what he eloquently called “a different kind of fun�?. So the keg stands have morphed into jitterbugging with a giant mouse named Chuck. The beer is often times replaced with fruit punch, and we no longer have to sneak our parent’s cars out of the driveway. The thrill is not so much in getting away with things we might get into trouble for. The thrill lies in things that are yet to be. The firsts for our children, and the proud smiles that beam from their faces like white light become the thrilling moments. First steps, first words, first day of school, first ride on the bike without training wheels, first day of college, and maybe someday, our children’s first moments as parents.

So there we all were, having a “different kind of fun�? with our children and, presumably, a teenager making minimum wage in a large mouse costume. And I was happy because the three-year-old birthday girl was happy, and my daughter Maggie was happy. Besides, we can still get our grooves on, as veterans, in our own right. We just have to make sure we have sitters lined up.

But we don’t ever point and laugh, because we know an infinitely greater amount of humility now than we did then. Children have a way of teaching you that.

Comments

Children are life's equivilent of "Hubris".

It's the secret that parents don't tell yet-to-be parents. They wouldn't believe us anyway.

Posted by: Dawn | December 21, 2005 8:40 AM

I'm sure not *all* barely-twenty-somethings are pointing and laughing at you, but I get the gist of what you mean. It's not hip.

I always thought children gave adults a wonderful license to be silly and goof around. And who can't use a little of that? Things can get too serious as an adult.

Plus: kid's books. Being able to shop, buy, and read lots and lots of kid's books.

It sounds like you had a great time at the birthday party. And that makes me happy. ;)

Posted by: Sour Duck | December 21, 2005 11:05 AM

My husband and I can't wait to become "dorks" like that! Only 11.5 more weeks or so and the "fun" begins.

Posted by: Tonya | December 21, 2005 11:36 AM

Another hidden perk of parenthood? Always getting to use the bathroom, even when there are no public restrooms. All you gotta do is grab your cookie crusted, fat cheeked 2 year old and say "Can we use your potty?". Works every time!

Posted by: Carrie | December 21, 2005 2:20 PM

What you don't like dancing with the Mouse guy? [shrug] It's understandable... I just can't wait for the day when my son says he's too cool to hang out with me--it'll be tough. Cause you know, I'll still think I'm hip (or at least sorta hip). ;-)

Posted by: Bethany | December 21, 2005 8:51 PM

I am a dancer (ok, well, not so much now, three kids later). I have always loved rocking out in my living room. What I have found to be even more fun now, when I have 3 kids as my audience, is to dance like the biggest dork I possibly can. I get tons of laughs, and it is more fun than anything else I can think of. Except maybe Disneyland.

As a side note, while reading this entry, my two-year-old walked up to me, put his head against my back, and said, "Mama, I love you."

How can you beat that?

Posted by: noell | December 21, 2005 9:30 PM

how funny that I was in your exact shoes not two weeks ago at my neice's birthday celebration with Chuck. And the same thoughts crossed my mind- because now I'm a mom and I had to clap my hands and stomp my feet while singing happy birthday because my son thought it was the best thing ever...
sigh. Would it make me a loser to say I love this "new kind of fun" I've been having since he was born? because I, too, would have been pointing and laughing at [ME!]back when I was not a mommy!

Posted by: Diana | December 22, 2005 1:04 PM

Ah, Charles Fromage. Such lovely memories.

Posted by: margalit | December 22, 2005 10:48 PM

That was a GREAT post. I teared up a bit, but then I kinda always do this time of year. But still, the goodness. :)

Posted by: shannon | December 24, 2005 9:53 AM

I've had those same thoughts so many times. When my daughter was first born, I had a real identity crisis going on for a while. It took a long time for me to reconcile my new life and my new role as someone's mother. It's been five years and another child and I'm happy to say, with no regret or longing for the past, that these days I am quite comfortable in this still relatively new skin. I could care less how silly I look rocking out in the car to Barney tunes or how ridiculous my conversations with the kids sound to other people when we are out. I actually revel in it the goofiness that parenthood has brought into our lives. There was a commercial on TV for a while, I think it was for KMart or Sears, and the slogan was "for the stuff of life" or something along those lines. That phrase sums up the chaos, the craziness, the silliness and the tenderness of my life with children. All those moments, for better or for worse, are "the stuff of life" and though I may grouse about it sometimes, I wouldn't trade a single second of any of it. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am.

P.S. We did the Chucky Cheese thing in September for my daughter's birthday. We chose it because I'd just had my son and I didn't want to deal with a party at home. I have to tell you, watching the kids dance with Chucky (we have it on video) is priceless. Such abandon, such pure joy! It was totally worth it! (Sorry for the long post)

Posted by: Wizzy | December 24, 2005 9:53 PM

A Different Kind of Fun

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