Mommy Bloggers: Excuses, Excuses

The Mommybloggers proudly present a brilliant post from Beth and Chris . They are our very first guest blogging couple, and we have been pleased as punch to feature them. Thanks again to Chris and Beth for sharing their talents with the mommyblogging audience.

And without further ado: Tada!:

Well golly, we meant to write this really brilliant, erudite, inspired joint post about parenting, or something, but we’ve looked everywhere (including the fridge and the diaper pail) and apparently we didn’t do it. We have a really good excuse though. In fact, we have several good excuses:

1. Our heads, already on the slightly large side, inflated to epic proportions following the praise lavished upon us yesterday. They became so huge, in fact, neither of us were able to make it through the doorways of our home. Thus, we weren't able to get anywhere close to a computer to type what would have been, we're sure, a wonderful contribution to such a fine site.

2. We got wrapped up playing another round of the Passive-Aggressive Infant Wardrobe Challenge. Not familiar with the game? If you're the father, carefully remove several articles of your child's clothing and exchange them for obviously clashing articles. See how long it takes your wife to notice. If you're the mother, express your shock and awe at the discovery of your child wearing pink pants, a green onesie and blue socks. Change the child immediately into a matching onesie, pants, sweater, socks, shoes, hat, bib and blanket. Repeat as needed.

3. This really, really big dog stole our post. Or was it a cat? We're not sure. It's all a blur. But it was freakin' huge. And had big teeth. Yeah. Big teeth. That's it.

4. We're so drunk.

5. It was Chris' birthday and there was celebrating to do. You don't think the strippers are just going to wait around do you? And those midgets aren't going to toss themselves.

6. Beth thought Chris was going to think of an idea for the post and Chris thought Beth was going to think of an idea for the post and by the time we finished arguing about who was supposed to think of the idea for the post it was 9:00 and time to go to bed. What? The baby gets up at 4. Shut up.

7. We devoted all our creative writing efforts to composing the “quotes” about us posted on this site yesterday. (Confidential to those who were quoted: the checks are in the mail.)

8. Baby vomit. Nuf said.

9. We had to hock the computers to get money to pay the baby to go to sleep. Tomorrow we are selling our china and silver because we never use it anyway and because it is totally, totally worth it.

10. We were too busy having wild crazy monkey sex all over the house. (Every parent reading this just started laughing hysterically.)

Seriously, we're parents. Planning is so yesterday. The best laid plans are, well, totally unrealistic ones, for the most part. Naps don't happen, errands don't get run, dinner doesn't get cooked. But these are the sacrifices you make to have a child. Life changes - drastically - but definitely for the better.

Read more by Beth on her blog So the Fish Said and more by Chris at his blog Rude Cactus.

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Excuses, Excuses

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