Reconsidering the Plastic Fashion Icon
I always thought I would be the kind of mother who would not allow Barbie dolls as toys. I believe they perpetuate the pressures girls and women feel to attain an unrealistic and unattainably perfect physical appearance. The oversized eyes and vacant expression never did much for me either. Barbie definitely does not look like anyone I would want to hang out and have a beer with. First of all, I am not sure if the jointless elbow would allow her to get the actual beer to her mouth, and that would lead to a real spectacle with all the spilling and missing, not to mention a waste of perfectly good beer. Second of all, that doe-eyed stare is really pretty creepy. It just doesn’t look like Barbie has much going on in a cerebral sense. She doesn’t seem very witty or bright. And I like having beer with people who are witty and bright.
The “happy to be me” doll always seemed like a good idea. She was the doll with a reasonable waist to hip ratio, normal sized breasts, and big flat feet. I have big feet, and I would bet a large sum of money that my daughter will have big feet. She carries the genes of her size 11 shoe donning mother and her size 12 shoe wearing father. Sorry Madge! You might have to special order your shoes from the Bigfoot store. This is just one reason why I prefer that her toys resembling the human figure (however loose the translation) not make her feel like a flat-chested Amazon freak in comparison.
The recent reports about Barbie mutilation have changed my mind about the entire subject of the busty doll. Why deny my daughter the opportunity to use her budding creativity to concoct new and unusual ways to mutilate an unrealistic fashion icon? I mean, there is SCIENCE involved! Don’t girls need more science? What happens when plastic is microwaved and set on fire? Is she flammable or does she just melt? How high does the flame need to be? When Barbie is scalped, girls can examine the way the plastic hair is manufactured to fit into the tiny holes on her head! These are great, thought provoking experiments, people! What happens when Barbie is submerged in acid? Alkalaine solution? How long does it take for a golden retriever to chew up and ingest her? How does a journey through the digestive system of a Canine affect Barbie’s hair-do?
I learned firsthand about the flammability of the bionic woman’s plastic breasts when, at the age of 9 or 10, I held her chest over the flame of my parent’s gas range. Okay, she was the Bionic woman, not Barbie. But the whole reason I was melting of her bosoms was because I had no Ken doll. The bionic woman was a little taller and a little bigger than Barbie, so when I managed to melt off her plastic lady lumps she made an odd-looking sort of man who reeked of melted plastic char. So really if you think about it, she might have been the very first transgender Barbie. In stores soon. Remind me to contact someone about my fair share of royalties for that one.
The bionic woman’s transformation might not be considered true Barbie mutilation. It was not gratuitous in that I had a purpose in mind. I needed a male doll for all the love scenes I played out as a manifestation of my budding curiosity of human sexuality. I watched WAY to much love boat as a child. Barbie mutilation did come later though.
In a recent Christmas eve white elephant gift game with my family, one of the most coveted prizes was a severed Barbie doll head. Her hair had been shaved in front, and she had been defaced with permanent markers. That was just her head. I can only imagine what terrible fate her plastic torso and appendages has succombed to. She was one artifact that remained from the childhood of eight grown women (my three sisters and I, and our four cousins who are all women).
My Nieces, who are now 13 and 14 have had their own fun with Barbies. They threw them in the street to see what happened with buses ran over them. Their surviving Barbies are used as models for their own version of project runway (head trauma Barbie is still able to model in spite of her injury).
Looking at the Barbie phenomena this way, in which Barbie mutilation is a rite of passage I would never want to deprive my daughter of, I can now feel free to shower my sweet daughter with them. I would be doing her a disservice by not providing her with the materials with which to explore her budding creativity, experiment with plastics in varying environments and manifest her disgust for things disposable and commercialized. She can get in touch with her inner degenerate. I will empower her to reject Barbie’s inanimate blank stare by giving her the opportunity to deface and maim if she so chooses. And if she asks me for assistance and ideas, I am here to serve. As far as I’m concerned as long as she doesn’t move on to mutilate living creatures, it’s all harmless exploration and expression.
And the final score is: Kids: 1, Barbie: 0, Mattel: $6 Billion in annual revenues
Comments
I'm still thinking about your preference for having a beer with someone who is "witty and bright." I'm just wondering: would you say that that person becomes even more witty and bright as they drink more beer? Or less? Or do you think their bright-wittiness increases as YOU have more beer?
Posted by: noell | December 30, 2005 10:59 AM
I'm torn on the Barbie thing. My husband hates Mattel, and, therefore, Barbie. I have lots of fond memories of playing with Barbie dolls, including getting in trouble when my grandma walked in on me and my friend Stephanie playing and found Barbie and Ken in a compromising position in the bedroom of the Barbie penthouse. Oops.
Posted by: Mary | December 30, 2005 12:57 PM
I never liked or wanted a Barbie doll, but my sister did. I passed my prejudice down to my daughter, who was given a few Barbies by well-meaning relatives, but she much preferred baby dolls that could be cuddled, or little girl dolls, like HER. I totally agree with my daughter's philosophy of "Who wants to play with a doll that's grown up?" I never bought into the body image thing with Barbie; I just always thought she was a stupid toy. Not fun at all.
Posted by: Mamacita | December 30, 2005 2:14 PM
I loved playing with Barbies growing up and my two daughters, ages five and two, do also. But I hope they start destroying some soon because the Barbies are taking over our house.
Some Barbies do have jointed elbows. The Midge dolls-with-baby that my daughters got for Christmas have elbows that bend so they can carry their little ones. They also have magnetic pregnancy bellies in which the little babies can fit. It's clever but a little creepy.
Posted by: Anne | December 30, 2005 2:42 PM
I always played with Barbies when I was younger but also would cut off all their hair.
My daughter never liked Barbies and has them tucked away in a box somewhere.
Posted by: Suz | December 30, 2005 3:28 PM
Barbies were just no good at riding Breyer horses, so mine all had their legs held on with rubber bands b/c I'd snapped them off at the hip trying to get them to ride the damn horse.
But for those who actually want to get their daughters a doll to play with, have a look at the Only Hearts Club dolls (www.onlyheartsclub.com warning: skip the intro or the cute will kill you). They are really well made, look like actual girls, and ride horses.
Posted by: Deana | December 30, 2005 3:56 PM
LOL! Remember the defaced Barbie in Toy Story 2?
Posted by: Carrie | December 30, 2005 5:38 PM
"...when I managed to melt off her plastic lady lumps she made an odd-looking sort of man who reeked of melted plastic char."
I nearly choked on my beer. You are killing me.
Kyle bought Tacy a shitload of Barbies at local garage sales. I'm not going to stress about it. My mother never let me have them, and I loved playing with them at my friends' houses. You can't get away from Barbie; she's everywhere.
Posted by: Julie | December 30, 2005 9:41 PM
I remember cutting their hair, breaking their arms or pulling a head off. LOL I think everyone as a kid did something to their Barbies.
Did you hear about the Brat Big Babies doll with the thong undies? LOL Now that's just wrong.
Posted by: Sabrina | December 31, 2005 11:22 AM
Haaaaah! I loved the trans-gender thing...way too funny! My Barbies had mohawks and I, too would get frustrated because their legs popped off when I put them on horses. Horses were way more important, you know. My brother would get mad at me because I used to steal his GI Joes and make them ride horses and make out with Barbie.
Posted by: baseballmom | January 2, 2006 2:49 AM
Even without the joy of mutilation, the Barbie phase is remarkably short for our girls nowadays. Mine gave her dolls away a year ago, when she was 8. At least, she never had any hankering for those awful Bratz dolls...
Posted by: Donna | January 3, 2006 10:20 AM
Perception and fact may be not exact when judging the effect of a toy on a girl or a boy. Just by giving a toy that doesn't bring joy to a girl or a boy is a waste of money in deed. Not every girl wants to play with a doll when she prefers a ball. Your listening and participation with them in play is what they really need. As a young boy I knew that Barbie was just a product of fantasy not based in reality. The concept that a plastic doll could be a standard for females to attain was rediculous. The two must be kept seperate. My favorite toys have been scale model ships and planes though in reality, I have a fear of heights and cannot swim. Inspite of those real circumstances, my imagination could be cultivated through those toys. The perception that I was gender confused, become effeminate, or be attracted to males because of my possession of Barbies was not foundede in fact. Barbies were partners to my GI Joes. Through Barbies, valuable lessons were learned. Real females are individuals in personality and appearance. These dolls have obvious flaws which deny them the status of perfection. I can appreciate their beauty of toy design. Never by the same, would I a living female define. Perception and fact may not be exact. A parent or parents should think first clearly before before they react.
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