Closed doors and Opened windows.
The following entry was written by Rachelle of ArmyWifeToddlerMom
My Mom was dying at this time 4 years ago. Colon Cancer, that metatstisized to her brain. I had relocted back home to care for her. I had spent months in a sort of dispair, waiting for my Mothers death, it was eminant after all. I was also pregnant with her first Grandchild at this time, and I wanted them to meet. I would lie awake at night, and try and imagine my life without my Mom. I would lie awake some nights face wet with tears, saddness that she was having to battle such a horrible illness. Sad for my Father losing his wife of 41 years. Tears for myself, because I needed her. I would lie awake , knowing that a part of my heart would be broken and changed forever.
Her illness had changed my opinion about God, and justice.
Over time, my Mom had become increasingly weak, and her brain tumor was growing at such a rate it would affect her physical ability. Some days she could not stand, or sit up. Some days it was her memory, others days the cancer would cause pain.
My Husband had been deployed for a period of time, and had returned for a short visit, hoping to catch my Mother one more time before her death. His presence surprised me, he was easy and gentle, funny. We sat in her room that night with the light of a small lamp, and the television. We laughed, and told jokes. His easiness surprising me, because her once beautiful face had grown puffy from all of the steroids she had to consume to keep her brain from swelling. Her 5'8 figure folded into a hospital bed. My Mom whispered that she needed to use the bedside commode, as meekly as she could. I tried to stand her alone, and could not. Dear Husband heard us struggling outside the bedroom door and entered to help me stand my Mom up, and pivot her weak and confused body. He sat her down, and held her hand and continued to talk to her as if she were still in bed.....and I felt my heart break into pieces and grow at the same time.
In one fleeting moment I forgave God, and thanked him for my Husband.
Comments
Rachelle, that is such a beautiful story of love. Thank you for sharing it.
Posted by: Maddy | February 14, 2006 5:07 PM
What a beautiful story. Thanks so much for sharing it. I could relate and it touched my heart.
Posted by: Niihaus | February 14, 2006 5:16 PM
God really is gracefull. Thank you for being strong enough to share that.
Posted by: Melissa | February 14, 2006 5:27 PM
I can't begin to tell you how much I loved this story and how it touched my heart. What a beautifyl expression of love from both you and your husband. I am overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing it.
~K!
Posted by: Kismet | February 14, 2006 6:40 PM
Wonderful story. I really liked it. Sad, but also had a touching point.
--Karin (also an army wife, toddler mom)
Posted by: Karin | February 14, 2006 7:54 PM
He's a keeper all right! ;-) And completely, utterly touching post. Your Mom would be proud.
Posted by: Bethany | February 14, 2006 9:16 PM
This is beautiful.
Posted by: noell | February 14, 2006 10:11 PM
This is a great post. You started it with a bang and ended it on a high note. It was hard to read, but worth it. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Mary | February 14, 2006 10:50 PM
A beautiful story. You are a knockout!
Posted by: oddybobo | February 15, 2006 9:57 AM
Beautiful story. Brought tears to my eyes. I have not had to go through loosing a parent yet, but I can tell you now, that I don't have a clue how I will handle it.
Thanks for sharing this story with us.
Posted by: stacy lee | February 15, 2006 11:05 AM
What a beautiful story. Thank you so much.
Posted by: Maggie45 | February 15, 2006 9:11 PM
What a story! How difficult that time must have been for you but I'm sure you'd go thru it again just to have your Mom back with you. You have a great guy for a husband and friend. Your Mom must have known he would be a wonderful comfort for you in your loss. Thank you for sharing in your time of reflection.
Posted by: toni | February 16, 2006 9:03 PM
What a wonderful husband you have.
Sorry for the loss of your mother.
Posted by: Melissa P.-San Jose | February 17, 2006 1:31 AM
Thank you so much for this.
Posted by: CharlestonGirl | February 17, 2006 1:27 PM