Hot Water
There are certain things in life you fail to appreciate until they stop working. The most recent example in my household being the hot water heater. Who thinks about hot water? It's always there, ready to use. It's helpful for bathing, doing laundry, doing the dishes, and washing your hands. But you don't think about it. Hot water gets taken for granted every single day. Our hot water was only out of commission for one and a half days, but golly gee willikers, did I miss it.
It takes approximately eight years to bring a large pot of freezing cold water to a boil to make pasta. Have you ever tried cleaning up a pot-roast dinner with ice-cold water? The grease in the pot coagulates in cold slimy chunks. These chunks then coat your hands, and can not be washed off properly, and you end up scraping your hands "clean" with a dish towel, which really means just rubbing beef tallow into your own hands. They smelled of beef for days. Don't even get me started on the wine glasses. Disgusting. I rarely have time to take a bath, but just KNOWING it was not an option had me gazing wistfully towards the tub.
I wondered how the pioneer women did it. I swore to never again take hot water for granted. Ever.
That got me thinking about all the things I take fro granted every day. Now, I do not want this to turn into an essay of holier-than-thou-you-are-a-freaking-ingrate-for-not-loving-every-moment-of-your-life mommy propaganda. Nothing frosts me more than being told I should appreciate blah-de-blah-blah every time I complain about something pertaining to motherhood. I do not need to be the white screen for anyone's shame projector every time I comment about something parent-related sucking big time. Commiserate, or zip it. In other words, keep your two cents of invalidation to yourself. It certainly does nothing for me, and makes the invalidator look like a sanctimonious, judgmental, insecure, one-upper. Where was I again? Oh...
At the same time, I have to say I got thinking about all the other things I fail to appreciate on a regular basis. Have you ever noticed how, when you have a cold, you flop around hacking and expectorating, fully aware of the miserable state you're in? But when the cold starts to ease up, you hardly notice until one day you think to yourself "Huh. I forgot to remember that I don't have a cold anymore."? It's strange.
Did anyone think to themselves, three years ago "Gosh it's great that gas is a dollar seventy-five a gallon"? When I was in high school, I thought I had a fat ass. I look back at pictures of myself at seventeen years of age, and cry when I look at that great butt that I never even appreciated.
On the other hand, though, I see glimpses of genius in people.
One of my coworkers mentioned the other day that he had plans to visit his grandparents over the weekend. He added that he made a conscious effort to spend time with them because he knew his time with grandparents was limited. I told him he was right. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be to have a few moments with mine. I miss them. A lot.
I think about the times late at night when I sat with my daughter in my arms, rocking her to sleep. I was usually so exhausted I would have paid a large sum of money for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. But every once in a while, I would think to myself that if my worst nightmare came true, and something happened to my sweet child, I would give anything in the world for a moment just like that. I would give ANYTHING for that exact moment. Just to rock my daughter in the middle of the night, feeling her breath on my cheek, and smelling the top of her little baby head.
So I suppose I do remember to be grateful every once in a while. I secretly hope that in doing so, I stave off the possibility that anything would actually happen to her. And who's to say? Whether it works or not, it feels pretty good to consider how beautiful life really is every once in a while. Who has the energy to think about these things all the time anyway? If I concentrated on all the things I have to be grateful for every second of every day, I would be so overwhelmed with gratitude that I would never muster up the energy to take a shower! I would be a weeping floppy pile of tears twenty-four seven. Sometimes it's just too much to wrap my brain around.
But when I let myself go to that place in my mind. When I allow myself to stagger and gape with gratitude it feels good. It keeps me going. My tiny little corner of the world feels like a wondrous place. And that, my friends, is what Martha would call "a good thing".
Comments
Wow! What a poignant way to share your thoughts. Thank you! I've had a long week, really tired, just want to run away from everyone. But my boys are so precious, your post helped me to remember that and not take them for granted. Thank you for helping to bring some peace to my day. :)
Posted by: Karin | February 24, 2006 10:00 AM
Wow, it's something I never would have thought of: zero hot water plus pot roast and wine for dinner equals permanent beef-greased hands and a huge mess.
That is a mistake I can now avoid, thanks to you, Meghan.
When I returned from the Philippines, having lived there a year and a half among and with average poor Philippino's, I was stunned to see Amerian abundance. You forget how great it is when you don't see it for so long. On the way home from the airport, we stopped at a grocery store to grab some cereal. I had been on U.S. soil for less than thirty minutes. Entering the store, I passed the produce section, which I thought was breathtaking. As I walked down the cereal aisle with the assignment to choose one, the rows of bright colored boxes, from one end to the other, overwhelmed me. I burst into tears, right there in the store. How could there be so much available food?
You're right. We would all be unstable emotional globs of tears if we were constantly counting our blessings with any accuracy. It is nice to have those brief moments, though, isn't it?
Posted by: noell | February 24, 2006 10:10 AM
You've beautifully expressed what I've been trying to get my head around for days.
I have a 5-month-old and I'm returning to work next week. We need the money and the health insurance, and there's a part of me that wants to work again, but there's also a big part of me that's terrified and broken up about the idea of not being with DS all day as I have been nearly every day of his life so far.
Then I have to remind myself that I'm going to be working in a field I love, in a flexible, responsible, mentally-stimulating job that pays a decent salary. Many, many women have to go back to work when their babies are younger, to mind-numbing jobs they disklike that put them right at the poverty line. (Like my own parents did.) I can honor my own feelings of separation from DS -- but I also need to count my blessings because this is a privileged life!
Posted by: Jen | February 24, 2006 10:42 AM
My life ended nearly three years ago, and nearly took my unborn daughter with it. I like to think that I take nothing for granted. Do lots of things about parent three little ones piss me off? I shout a resounding "HELL YES!"
I never part ways with someone that I love without saying so. Even if it means turning around to go back home to say it.
I think hot water is something I take for granted. Air conditioning? In Texas? Nope! I love every second of it when August rolls around.
Posted by: Erin | February 24, 2006 11:44 AM
I tend to remind myself of the good moments after my kids are in bed, when I have a chance to relax and remember how enjoyable the moments--and the kids--really are!
The value of stepping back and contemplating what we have can't be underestimated. That's what I love about writing/blogging; it provides the perfect medium and platform for these memories and reminders.
Posted by: Mary | February 24, 2006 3:31 PM
What a great post to read on a day where I've spent all day snuggling a sick and cranky 7 month old... It's hard to enjoy it while you're in it, but I try to - cuz I know soon enough she won't let me snuggle her....
Posted by: Sarah | February 24, 2006 8:08 PM
Unsurprisingly, you touched on two points near and dear to me - my family (especially grandparents) and my daughters. I think you struck a perfect balance between thinking too much/not enough about what's really important.
And I know exactly what you mean about the luxury of breathing easily.
Posted by: Julie | February 24, 2006 9:42 PM
well said and well balanced. with the age range we enjoy- 13, 16, 19, 22, and 24- i like to think we get reminded of the good stuff AND how fast it flies by. taking a deep breath and a heart-felt sigh ...
Posted by: chris | February 25, 2006 7:34 PM
You couldn't have said that better! Life is all about balancing and keeping things in perspective isn't it?
What about when the electricity goes out too! How many times I walk over to the light switch to turn it on when I know damn good and well the power is out? ugh.
If you have the time, come by my place and help me grovel to Ellen Degeneres for BlogHer sponsorship Ok? We need help spreading the word...
Posted by: Suzanne | February 26, 2006 8:50 AM
This is a great post.
I feel torn constantly - between everyday frustrations and realizing this era is fleeting, so trying to see the big picture. Thanks for another reminder.
PS I lived alone long enough - I am aware of the greatness of hot water - because I hate lying down there and trying to re-light a pilot light...
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