html { margin: 0; /* setting border: 0 hoses ie6 win window inner well border */ padding: 0; } body { margin: 0; /* setting border: 0 hoses ie5 win window inner well border */ padding: 0; font-family: verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } form { margin: 0; padding: 0; } a { text-decoration: underline; } a img { border: 0; } h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 { font-weight: normal; } h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ol, ul, pre, blockquote { margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; } /* standard helper classes */ .clr { clear: both; overflow: hidden; width: 1px; height: 1px; margin: 0 -1px -1px 0; border: 0; padding: 0; font-size: 0; line-height: 0; } /* .pkg class wraps enclosing block element around inner floated elements */ .pkg:after { content: " "; display: block; visibility: hidden; clear: both; height: 0.1px; font-size: 0.1em; line-height: 0; } * html .pkg { display: inline-block; } /* no ie mac \*/ * html .pkg { height: 1%; } .pkg { display: block; } /* */ /* page layout */ body { text-align: center; } /* center on ie */ #container { position: relative; margin: 0 auto; /* center on everything else */ width: 902px; text-align: left; } #container-inner { position: static; width: auto; } #banner { position: relative; } #banner-inner { position: static; } #pagebody { position: relative; width: 100%; } #pagebody-inner { position: static; width: 100%; } #alpha, #beta, #gamma, #delta { display: inline; /* ie win bugfix */ position: relative; float: left; min-height: 1px; } #delta { float: right; } #alpha-inner, #beta-inner, #gamma-inner, #delta-inner { position: static; } /* banner user/photo */ .banner-user { float: left; overflow: hidden; width: 64px; margin: 0 15px 0 0; border: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center; } .banner-user-photo { display: block; margin: 0 0 2px 0; border: 0; padding: 0; background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat; text-decoration: none !important; } .banner-user-photo img { width: 64px; height: auto; margin: 0; border: 0; padding: 0; } /* content */ .content-nav { margin: 10px; text-align: center; } .date-header, .entry-content { position: static; clear: both; } .entry, .trackbacks, .comments, .archive { position: static; overflow: hidden; clear: both; width: 100%; margin-bottom: 20px; } .entry-content, .trackbacks-info, .trackback-content, .comment-content, .comments-open-content, .comments-closed { clear: both; margin: 5px 10px; } .entry-excerpt, .entry-body, .entry-more-link, .entry-more { clear: both; } .entry-footer, .trackback-footer, .comment-footer, .comments-open-footer, .archive-content { clear: both; margin: 5px 10px 20px 10px; } .comments-open label { display: block; } #comment-author, #comment-email, #comment-url, #comment-text { width: 240px; } #comment-bake-cookie { margin-left: 0; vertical-align: middle; } #comment-post { font-weight: bold; } img.image-full { width: 100%; } .image-thumbnail { float: left; width: 115px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; } .image-thumbnail img { width: 115px; height: 115px; margin: 0 0 2px 0; } /* modules */ .module { position: relative; overflow: hidden; width: 100%; } .module-content { position: relative; margin: 5px 10px 20px 10px; } .module-list, .archive-list { margin: 0; padding: 0; list-style: none; } .module-list-item { margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px; } .module-presence img { vertical-align: middle; } .module-powered .module-content { margin-bottom: 10px; } .module-photo .module-content { text-align: center; } .module-wishlist .module-content { text-align: center; } .module-calendar .module-content table { border-collapse: collapse; } .module-calendar .module-content th, .module-calendar .module-content td { width: 14%; text-align: center; } .typelist-thumbnailed { margin: 0 0 20px 0; } .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { display: block; clear: both; margin: 0; } /* positioniseverything.net/easyclearing.html */ .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item:after { content: " "; display: block; visibility: hidden; clear: both; height: 0.1px; font-size: 0.1em; line-height: 0; } * html .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { display: inline-block; } /* no ie mac \*/ * html .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { height: 1%; } .typelist-thumbnailed .module-list-item { display: block; } /* */ .typelist-thumbnail { float: left; min-width: 60px; width: 60px; /* no ie mac \*/width: auto;/* */ margin: 0 5px 0 0; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle; } .typelist-thumbnail img { margin: 5px; } .module-galleries .typelist-thumbnail img { width: 50px; } .typelist-description { margin: 0; padding: 5px; } .module-featured-photo .module-content, .module-photo .module-content { margin: 0; } .module-featured-photo img { width: 100%; } .module-recent-photos { margin: 0 0 15px 0; } .module-recent-photos .module-content { margin: 0; } .module-recent-photos .module-list { display: block; height: 1%; margin: 0; border: 0; padding: 0; list-style: none; } /* positioniseverything.net/easyclearing.html */ .module-recent-photos .module-list:after { content: " "; display: block; visibility: hidden; clear: both; height: 0.1px; font-size: 0.1em; line-height: 0; } * html .module-recent-photos .module-list { display: inline-block; } /* no ie mac \*/ * html .module-recent-photos .module-list { height: 1%; } .module-recent-photos .module-list { display: block; } /* */ .module-recent-photos .module-list-item { display: block; float: left; /* ie win fix \*/ height: 1%; /**/ margin: 0; border: 0; padding: 0; } .module-recent-photos .module-list-item a { display: block; margin: 0; border: 0; padding: 0; } .module-recent-photos .module-list-item img { width: 60px; height: 60px; margin: 0; padding: 0; } /* mmt calendar */ .module-mmt-calendar { margin-bottom: 15px; } .module-mmt-calendar .module-content { margin: 0; } .module-mmt-calendar .module-header { margin: 0; } .module-mmt-calendar .module-header a { text-decoration: none; } .module-mmt-calendar table { width: 100%; } .module-mmt-calendar th { text-align: left; } .module-mmt-calendar td { width: 14%; height: 75px; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; } .day-photo { width: 54px; height: 54px; } .day-photo a { display: block; } .day-photo a img { width: 50px; height: 50px; } /* * theme * */ /* basic page elements */ body { font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } a { color: #36414d; text-decoration: underline; } a:hover { color: #CCCC99; } #banner a { color: #FFFFFF; text-decoration: none; } #banner a:hover { color: #FFFFFF; } h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 { font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; } .module-header, .trackbacks-header, .comments-header, .comments-open-header, .archive-header { /* ie win (5, 5.5, 6) bugfix */ p\osition: relative; width: 100%; w\idth: auto; margin: 0; border-top: 2px solid #660066; border-right: 2px none #660066; border-bottom: 2px solid #660066; border-left: 2px none #CCCC99; padding: 5px; color: #660066; background: #FFFFFF; font-size: small; font-weight:bold; line-height: 1; } .module-header a, .module-header a:hover, .trackbacks-header a, .trackbacks-header a:hover, .comments-header a, .comments-header a:hover, .comments-open-header a, .comments-open-header a:hover .archive-header a, .archive-header a:hover { color: #660066; } .entry-more-link, .entry-footer, .comment-footer, .trackback-footer, .typelist-thumbnailed { font-size: px; } /* page layout */ body { min-width: 902px; color: #CCCC99; background: #CCCC99; background-image: url("http://"); background-repeat: repeat-x; } #container { width:90%; margin-bottom: 20px; background: #FFFFFF; } #container-inner { border-right: 5px solid #292E33; border-bottom: 5px solid #292E33; border-left: 5px solid #000000; } #banner { width: 100%; padding: 50px background-color: #CCCC99; background-image: url("http://www.threekidcircus.com/test/mblegsheader.jpg"); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 191px; } #banner-inner { padding: 15px 13px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-left: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } #banner-header { margin: 0; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; color: #660066; font-size: small; text-align: left; font-weight:bold; line-height: 1; } #banner-description { margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 0; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; color: #660066; font-size: small; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; background: none; line-height: 1.125; } #alpha { float:left; margin: 0px 15px 0 15px; width:23%; background: #FFFFFF; background-repeat: no-repeat; } #beta { float:right; width:70%; background: transparent; } #gamma, #delta { float:right; width:20%; background: transparent; } #beta-inner, #gamma-inner, #delta-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-width: 2px 2px 2px 0; border-style: solid; border-color: #fff; } #alpha-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } #beta-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } #gamma-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } .date-header { margin-top: 0; background: #FFFFFF; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; text-align:left; color: #660066; font-size: x-small; font-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase; } .entry-header { margin-top: 0; background: #FFFFFF; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align:left; color: #666666; font-size: small; font-weight:bold; padding: 5px; border-left: 5px solid #CCCC99; } .entry-content, .comment-content, .trackback-content { background: #FFFFFF; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; text-align:left; color: #333333; font-size: small; margin: 0; line-height: 1.5; } .entry-footer, .comment-footer, .trackback-footer { background: #FFFFFF; margin: 0 0 20px 0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; text-align:right; color: #666666; font-size: x-small; border-top: 1px solid #dae0e6; } .comment-content, .trackback-content, .comment-footer, .trackback-footer { margin-left: 10px; } .content-nav { margin-top: 0; } #trackbacks-info { margin: 10px 0; border: 1px dashed #a3b8cc; padding: 0 10px; color: #292e33; font-size: 11px; background: #e6ecf2; } .comments-open-footer { margin: 10px 0; } /* modules */ .module { margin: 0 0 10px 0; } .module-content { margin: 0 0 10px 0; padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; line-height: 1.2; background: #CCCC99; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; text-align:left; color: #333333; font-size: x-small; border-top: 1px solid #cfd4d9; } .module-calendar .module-content { margin: 5px 0 15px 0; } .module-mmt-calendar .module-content table, .module-calendar .module-content table { font-size: 10px; } .module-powered { border-width: 0; } .module-powered .module-content { margin-bottom: 0; padding-bottom: 10px; background: #FFFFFF; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; text-align:left; color: #292e33; font-size: x-small; border-top: 1px dashed #CCCC99; border-right: 1px dashed #CCCC99; border-bottom: 1px dashed #CCCC99; border-left: 1px dashed #CCCC99; } .module-photo { background: none; } .module-photo img { border: solid 1px #fff; } .module-list { margin: 0 15px 10px 15px; list-style: disc; } .module-list .module-list { margin: 5px 0 0 0; padding-left: 15px; list-style: circle; } .module-list-item { margin-top: 0; color: #666; line-height: 1.2; } .module-search input { font-size: 10px; } .module-search #search { width: 100px; } .module-photo img { border: 3px solid #fff; } /* comments */ textarea[id="comment-text"] { width: 80%; } .commenter-profile img { vertical-align: middle; border-width: 0; } /* one-column tweaks */ .layout-one-column body { min-width: 520px; } .layout-one-column #container { width:90%; } .layout-one-column #banner { width: 100%; } /* necessary for ie win */ /* two-column-left tweaks */ .layout-two-column-left #alpha { margin: 0; width:23%; background: transparent; float:left; } .layout-two-column-left #alpha-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } .layout-two-column-left #beta { float:right; margin: 15px 15px 0 15px; width:65%; background: #FFFFFF; } .layout-two-column-left #beta-inner { padding: 0; border-width: 0; } /* three-column tweaks */ .layout-three-column #alpha { margin: 0; width:20%; background: transparent; float:left; } .layout-three-column #alpha-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; } .layout-three-column #beta { float:left; margin: 15px 15px 0 15px; width:50%; background: #FFFFFF; } .layout-three-column #beta-inner { padding: 0; border-width: 0; } .layout-three-column #gamma { margin: 0; width:20%; background: transparent; float:right; } .layout-three-column #gamma-inner { padding: 10px 10px 0 10px; border-top: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-right: 2px solid #FFFFFF; border-bottom: 2px solid #FFFFFF; }

« Barflies Have Mothers Too. | Main | Second Fiddle »

And Then? You Spray 'Em.

My seven-year-old squared off against my five year old. Their noses hovered inches from one another, shoulders hunched forward, teeth bared, lips quivering with fury.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

With eyes locked on each other, they both yelled "Mooooooom!"

Fearing that my arm would be bitten off, I debated whether I should hose them off with our extendable faucet, or perhaps I could distract them by throwing a favorite toy and encouraging one of them to fetch, while waving a second toy in front of the other sibling to keep their attention. In the end, I slipped a rubber spatula between the snapping beasts and gently applied pressure to first one, then the other's foreheads. It made them laugh, and the battle ended with yet another conversation about how life doesn't have to be one endless competition.

This parenting gig is hard sometimes.

Lately I've felt that my tools are inadequate. I've lost my edge and I'm not sure where or how, but I find myself reacting, instead of acting. The inmates are this close to running the asylum, and I'm resorting to chucking toys down the hall or clowning with a spatula to keep things from getting ugly. Maybe they are already running the joint, and I'm delusional. *Shudder*

We recently had a dog trainer in to work with our neurotic pooch. Apparently, my status as Alpha Dog in the family was all wishful thinking. "We do not sing 'no.' We speak firmly and do not repeat. Obedience is a must, or there is a swift consequence." So sayeth the dog trainer. Every behavior modification has an associated disciplinary action. Also, I am a pushover, and a world-class softy.

Chief among the new techniques is keeping a four-foot leash on the dog's collar all the time. She drags around the leash, so that she can be corrected if she jumps or something. And then there's the spray bottle for undesired barking. A week into it, and the dog is sullen, but behaving. Oh, the fantasy I have, of my children trailing leashes, and of barking "No!" and squirting them into submission. Would I trade my happy, wisecracking children for pouting, but obedient children? Is it too late to crate train them?

Ahem.

I plan on enrolling in some classes at our local positive-discipline oriented center, to add some new tools, and sharpen the ones I already have. I always assumed that once I cleared the toddler years, things would be looking up. I'd be able to reason with the kids. They would have an understanding of the way the world works, and would be willing to cooperate to make our little family the most harmonious, loving, team-playing, choral-singing family since the Von Trapps. Alas, there seems to be a hitch in my pipe-dreams. My pipe-dreams resemble pipe-bombs right now. Instead of voices raised in song, we have angry standoffs over the amount of cereal in a bowl. I'm frustrated with the discord. And I'm realizing that my status in the pack has slipped.

I'm glad for the availability of local classes. I've been pouring over the course descriptions, and it seems that there is hope for a softy like me. I suspect that becoming an Alpha Mom doesn't involve squirt bottles. Pity, really, because I'm already planning a holster.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.mommybloggers.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/281

Comments

I actually had a physician suggest that we toss a glass of freezing cold ice water in mys son's face to eliminate tantrums. He says once will do it. Then another suggested just spraying him. That seems very barbarack to me and I haven't tried it but it was put out there and that means someone, somewhere has tried it.

In all my parenting years, I have loved only one book: "Parenting with Love and Logic" (Cline and Fay). You might love it, too?

And to throw a different book at you--Kids are Worth It, by Barbara Coloroso. It's a doofy title and the cover has like a backwards letter or some ridiculous crap, but it's great. here's a great run-down, so you can see if it suits your temperment and inclination:

http://www.thewellspring.com/Cat/Adult_books/kids_are_worth_it.html

Reason? REASON? With children? Oh my...

(whispering softly) You cannot reason with children. They are, by nature, unreasonable. It is their job.

Good blog, enjoyed reading it. KaylaX

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)