Let's just hope my kids never want to go healthy!
I admit it. I am not the most conventional mom out there. Stories such as this and this will prove that if there is any doubt. I love my children more than anything in this world, but I have no problem messing with their minds every now and then. (Don’t judge. We all need our forms of entertainment!) But here is one for you where I can guarantee I am not alone.
My boys—especially on the weekends—are like little badgers or raccoons. I usually hit the bed earlier than they do on the weekend, so they have time to forage in our kitchen. I am never surprised when I wake up in the morning to see traces of my little badgers’ night-time scavenging for food in the kitchen. Wrappers here. Crumbs there. Tell tale signs of chocolate on their adorable (ahem) mouths. I know when they have found the mother-load by the lack of treats left the next morning. If they have taken the trash out, I don’t even want to know what they consumed.
So I had to resort to drastic measures.
Just last Saturday night I thought I was alone in the kitchen and reached for a box of Cheerios.
“Mom, can I have some of those?” asked my 12 year old.
“No. These are mine. You cannot have them. Go have some of that sugary cereal over there.”
“But I am in the mood for Cheerios, Mom.”
“Ummmm, well….you can’t have them.” I stammered. “Seriously, look at all of that sugary goodness in that pantry! Yummmm,” I said licking my lips and rubbing my stomach. "That should keep you wired all night. Besides, I don't eat that other stuff. You kids do."
"Yes you do! You totally do, Mom!”
"Well, tonight Mom wants and needs her Cheerios. Choose the sugary goodness, son, or nothing at all."
Confused, my son left the kitchen without a snack probably wondering why his mother was pushing sugar on him rather than a healthier alternative.
Let me let you in on a secret. That box no more had Cheerios in it than I am the Queen of the PTA. Stashed inside that box were my Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints to be exact. AND a box in Pepperidge Farm Milanos. (Indulgence in a bag!)
Yes, I hide the good stuff in the healthy food boxes knowing there is no way my children would forage for such a healthy snack without the watchful eyes of Mom on them. In fact, that box of Oatmeal front and center on the second shelf? Nope. My favorite chips. The flour container? Please. As if I back from scratch. That has the bite size Snickers in it. But wait, let’s move to the freezer. Right there in plain site is the store brand ice cream. Whatever flavor they want. But see that bag of frozen vegetables? Totally not veggies. Ben & Jerry’s Everything But The… pint sized is stuffed in there. (This rocks until I go to cook dinner and really NEED vegetables. But I get over it fast when I realize I get Ben & Jerry’s after the kids go to bed during the week.)
And let me just tell you about the guilt.
There is none.
The way I see it, those little buggers will snag up anything they can get their hands on after hours when Mom is in bed or when Mom is out running errands.
I am considering moving the Thin Mints, though. He was too curious about my intense need for Cheerios. I am thinking a box of Shredded Wheat should do it. Neither one of them would go near that unless forced to or paid to do so.
So call me selfish or call me a hoarder, just don’t call me when I am reaching for the veggies, because chances are I will be hiding in my closet devouring their forbidden fruit!
Comments
Now THAT is clever. My mother hid her goodies too, but she just put them on high shelves or behind dishes we rarely used.
You know what else works? Aluminum foil. As a kid, I never bothered to investigate anything covered in aluminum foil. My parents could have wrapped bars of gold in aluminum foil and stored them safely in our refrigerator.
Posted by: Julie | April 5, 2006 10:35 AM
My father is diabetic, so we NEVER had anything sweet in the house. When I spent the night at a friend's house, of course, I tried to consume all the sugar I had missed out on eating for the past nine months! I eat healthy now, and my kids do too. We don't exclude anything, so noone in our family is ever deprived. I didn't discover Thin Mints until I was an adult. But OMG, they are my favorites, too!
Posted by: Erin (erin-erin-bo-berin) | April 5, 2006 10:50 AM
Your tactics are highly approved--my weight watchers leader told me she does the exact same thing! When I first started reading, I really though you were arguing about healthy vs sugary cereals. I actually found myself last week doing that when my son decided he loved my new Weight Watchers almond cereal and there was only enough left for 1 bowl. Very sad...but I need my 2 point cereal! Now, go eat the Lucky Charms!
Posted by: Steph. | April 5, 2006 12:00 PM
No guilt needed. Continue to be creative with the hiding though. My kids are grown with the 23 year old and the 19 year old still at home. I've taken to hiding the good stuff in my bedroom because they'll eat anything now no matter how healthy or not and that favorite chocolate will be long gone if I don't!
Posted by: Mel | April 5, 2006 12:36 PM
I admit to having squirreled away my share of goodies, but that Ben & Jerry's in the vegetable bag thing?
Pure. Brilliance.
Posted by: EverydaySuperGoddess | April 5, 2006 1:09 PM
Classic... so keeping this locked away in some brain cells for about 10 years when my son starts scavanging when I am not around.
Posted by: Bethany | April 5, 2006 2:17 PM
Brilliant! My husband gives me a hard time for doing exactly the same thing, accuses me of being a hoarder! I was starting to develop a complex, but not now...
Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Kelly | April 5, 2006 2:26 PM
That is pure genius. I have cereal for myself and my 10yo step-son in different places because otherwise, he gobbles through a box in about 4 days and when I want some, it's long gone.
I will certainly keep those tricks in mind as he gets older and feels the need to eat us out of house and home. :)
Posted by: Chrissie | April 5, 2006 2:42 PM
M&M's and extra cash in an empty Tampon box.
It's worked for 27 years.
Oh dear. In a few years I guess it will have to be a Depends box.
Brilliant Post!!!
Posted by: Judy | April 5, 2006 7:06 PM
That is totally brilliant. I thought I was clever by hiding the jellybeans in my crockpot, or the chocolate bars at the back of the fridge behind the eggs, but the Cheerio box rocks.
Posted by: sherry | April 5, 2006 9:18 PM
How funny, and what a great idea! Of course, my kids actually like Cheerios and shredded wheat. I'll have to think of something they would consider vile.
Posted by: Jennifer | April 5, 2006 10:54 PM
Sheer genius!
Posted by: Ninotchka | April 5, 2006 11:33 PM
I stash chocolate in my purse. Always.
But I love your ideas (and I linked you from my blog).
Posted by: Mel | April 6, 2006 12:57 AM
You, my dear, are a GENIUS. I can't believe that I haven't thought of that trick. I'm in awe of you.
Posted by: Carmen | April 6, 2006 5:23 AM
I now have the perfect use for that Grape Nuts box. The cereal has gotten stale by now and I was just going to throw it out. Now, I know better. Thank you!
Posted by: oshee | April 6, 2006 5:37 AM
well now that's just brilliant! You could very well be my new hero!
Posted by: Suzanne | April 6, 2006 7:09 AM
Ooooooohhhh! THANKS for the great tips! New hiding places, yes!
Posted by: leelee | April 6, 2006 11:00 AM
What a great solution! You go, mom.
Posted by: abogada | April 6, 2006 11:48 AM
Great post! My boys aren't old enough to scavange yet (besides from the lowest shelves), but you better believe I'll be hiding stuff too! I already should start because I usually only get one serving of any goodies before my husband eats the rest!
Posted by: Nicole | April 7, 2006 10:35 AM
I have 5 boys, 4 of which eat us out of house and home weekly. Brilliant!! No shame there!
Posted by: trina | April 8, 2006 7:09 PM
My secret stash is a Swedish Chocolate bar that I get shipped from Sweden. My son has an allergy to nuts and I have told him that there are nuts in it. It "hides" out in the open and my little secret is that there is no nuts!!!!!
Posted by: tas | April 8, 2006 8:15 PM
Great blog you have going on. KarlaX
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