Knock, knock. Who cares?
Amanda - This is going to sound really bad, but none (aside from a few knock knock ones). I honestly can’t think of any jokes off the top of my head. Funny stories? About a zillion. Just not jokes.
Lin - Pitifully, zero. Well, unless bad knock knock jokes count (you know, the four-year old variety). Having said that, friends do find me funny. I'm more a quipper than a joker, but I love being around people who can tell a really good joke. If anyone knows why [usually] men are better at remembering jokes, I'd love to hear why they think that is.
Mary Tsao - One. A knock knock joke. I have never been able to remember a joke. I'm more of a sarcastic, off-the-cuff humor kind of gal.
Holli - I love humor, but hate rehearsed jokes.. so that would probably be none. And I don't like it when people force me to listen to jokes.. so to the people who list a huge library of memorized jokes - have mercy.. please!!

And then he says...uh...he says...wait. Let me start over.
Busy Mom - Lots, unless you want ones with punch lines. Then, not so many.
Vicky Bach - I currently have three jokes memorized, but only one punch line. Unfortunately, that punch line doesn't mesh with the other two jokes. So, I ask you: Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea.
MegaMom - Maybe 5. I love jokes, but rarely remember them....always screwing up the punchline.
Rbelle - None. I love to listen to jokes but I can never, ever remember the punch line.

Ooh, I've got a few for you:
Chris - One. Knock, knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple Who? Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple Who? Knock knock... etc until you get to the hysterical and completely unexpected punchline of "Orange you glad I didn't say apple?
Only now I am thinking of a new punchline, "Mortimer." You know because of Gweneth Paltrow? Eh, nevermind. That's why I don't do jokes.
Erin-erin-bo-berin - Two.
1) What do you call a cat who gets tossed in the dryer and is never seen again? Socks.
2) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris Who?
Doris Shut. That's why I knocked!
Liz - None -- I've got a terrible memory for that kind of stuff -- oh, wait...my four year old told me a funny one, just the other day.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because...seven, eight, nine!!!
Did I mention that I'm easily amused?
Danielle - One. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? It left footprints on the cheesecake.
Donna Schwartz Mills - Just one.
Q: Why does a Jewish American Princess wear a gold diaphragm?
A: She likes her men to come into money.
Sorry. I'm Jewish and an old boyfriend of mine thought it funny to tell me all these JAP jokes all the time. And for some reason, that one stuck. It's ironic, because for four years I was employed as an assistant to a bunch of comedy writers and all I used to do is type jokes all day - and I don't remember any of them. But that joke -- I remember.

Pull up a chair and get comfortable. This could take a while.
Amber - Given enough wine and time at least 50.
Marla Good - I know lots of jokes by heart. Like, about 247 of them. It’s just with a toddler, a very verbal and attentive toddler around, they’re not “appropriate” (and I am being all grown up and using the word appropriate – hah! They’re only fit for an NC 17 audience at their least offensive!). And I’d have to spell out too many words. And actions. And I’m not sure it’s appropriate to bring them out over cheddar gators and sippy cups. And maybe some of the mommies at playgroup aren’t keen on bent-elbow humour? And I’m a little fuzzy on the punch lines these days. And most of them fall under my favourite category of dirty joke – senior citizens having sex. So it’s like maybe I should dump them and put that brains space to better use.
Jenijen - At least fifty.
hadashi - 231,522.

I know a few.
Mary, mom to many - About two, not counting knock-knock jokes. Now songs... that's another story. I'll sing ya under the table! (Stop covering your ears!)
Ben - Two.
Jerri Ann Reason - Maybe 10, and they are all corny as they can be.
Katie - About 6 including one really, really long one about pumpernickel bread. The others are those terrible knock knock jokes that little kids like and one about a frog with a broken down car.
BaseballMom - I probably only know 5 or 6, I don't really like to be the center of attention.

Okay, wait. You two used to sit behind me on the school bus, right?
Lisa - That would be 2. And they all start with "What's grosser than gross?
Margalit - Embarassingly, I know maybe 4, and they are all Helen Keller jokes I learned in probably 4th grade. Other than that, I can't remember a joke or a punchline to save my life.

Don't you just want to hug this woman?
Mamacita - Kazillions. I can never think of them when I'm in a crowd and we're all telling jokes, but when I'm alone, I know bunches.

Keep it to yourself, you amateurs. Seriously. Just shush.
Deana - Oh good lord, scads. In all levels of acceptablility. I don't trot them out at cocktail parties, because, well, I've never been to a cocktail party, but I know a lot and enjoy reading them. Most people suck at telling jokes, so I'd just as soon read it myself, thanks. Little is more painful than someone beating the life out of a perfectly nice joke.