html
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form { margin: 0; padding: 0; }
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h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ol, ul, pre, blockquote
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/* standard helper classes */
.clr
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margin: 0 -1px -1px 0;
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/* .pkg class wraps enclosing block element around inner floated elements */
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{
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* html .pkg { display: inline-block; }
/* no ie mac \*/
* html .pkg { height: 1%; }
.pkg { display: block; }
/* */
/* page layout */
body { text-align: center; } /* center on ie */
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/* content */
.content-nav
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.entry,
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.image-thumbnail img
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.module-content
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« Let's just hope my kids never want to go healthy! |
Main
| Rare and Precious »
Why, oh why, for the love of all that is scared and holy, does the world insist on changing things that are perfectly good just as they are? I take is as a personal affront when the landscape around me changes without my categorical say-so. The burgeoning condo explosion in Minneapolis renders me positively unhinged. Someone decided it would be great to tear down my elementary school and build a new one, and I subsequently careened into a tizzy from which I have still not yet recovered. I yearn to find who is responsible for the offense and offer them a piece of my traumatized mind. How dare they alter the landscape of MY CHILDHOOD! How inconsiderate. I mean, really.
It’s the lack of warning I find so unsettling. If someone had told me my elementary school was being torn down, I could have taken pictures or something. I could have made a scrap-book (I have never in my life composed a scrap-book). But NOOOO. Now it’s too late. I discover these things after the fact. I drive down the street and come face to face with the new structure and the shock of a transformed landscape, and I am supposed to just shrug my shoulders and accept it. It’s not that easy for me. When I am left with only what memories remain in the not-so-reliable recesses of my brain, I worry that I won’t be able to conjure them up ever again. Memories like the smell of the old lunchroom (sour milk) or the monkey bars I used to do penny-drops from. They were painted green and badly chipped. I worry that those memories will disappear forever.
Last night Jim and I had a hankering for Ice Cream, so I made a run to the local DQ. I perused the menu and noticed that the Mister Misty is no more. Mr. Misty is DEAD with a capital “D�. Deader than a door nail. In its place is a totally extreme concoction called “Arctic Rush� which begs the question, what the Hell happened to Mister Misty, and why did no one consult me before knocking him off? Mr. Misty was perfect just the way he was.
When I was 9 or 10 years old I would scrounge change from my mother’s purse (sorry Mom – I had a short-lived stint as a delinquent that ended promptly when you said to all four of us in the back-seat of the car “someone has been taking money from my purse. I think I know who it is and I would like it to stop�. At the time I slouched and avoided eye contact, but 27 years later I can admit IT WAS ME!!!). I would take my pilfered coins and ride my bike to Dairy Queen where I would order a Mister Misty. Usually a red one. Then I would go down the street to Fanny Farmer and order a small bag of gummy bears, and sometimes some red licorice bits. Then I would eat my illegally acquired contraband treats in solitude and ride my bike home with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I attribute the nausea more to shame than to sugar. It was about that time that I learned that things taste much better when the acquisition of said things does not involve stealing from your mother. Shame really has a way of sucking enjoyment out of an experience. That lesson stuck with me.
So really, Mister Misty taught me that stealing is wrong, and that nothing good can come of dishonesty and general sneakiness. And Mister Misty is dead. You can see why I am so upset now can’t you!
Why does everything need to be “rush� or gush� or “huge� or “tiny� or otherwise totally insane and extreme? Some marketing executive somewhere figured out that as parents, we will accept nothing less than shockingly bright colored, reminiscently fruit-flavored, edible treats that go way beyond just tasting good. Those edible treats must be so totally extreme that they will make our children’s eyes roll back into their heads whilst catapulting their brains down the rabbit hole and into another dimension. All for an economical price that can be purchased in bulk. Now THAT’S extreme value.
Back in my day, we entertained ourselves by combining Two liters of Rondo, Sunkist, Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew and calling it “suicide�. We felt quite riotous and rebellious drinking our brown-colored carbonated concoctions. And "suicide" was just a name. No one actually died. The negative outcome was limited to a nap-inducing sugar crash. At least we used a little creativity. Another game we played involved combining liquids found in the pantry (think liquid smoke, vanilla and peppermint extract) and daring each other to sip it. That was also pretty extreme. Extremely gross. And we were all GIRLS! I shudder to think what boys did for fun.
Arctic Rush. Fruit Gushers. X Treme Jello. So that’s what the kids are doing these days. Oh, my dear Mister Misty. If someone had the manners to ask my permission before they aced you, you’d still be around. Had I known Mister Misty was being laid to rest, I could have toasted his departure into the afterlife. Alas, it was not to be. Goodbye Mr. Misty. I miss you already.
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Comments
Meghan. Calm down. The only thing about the Mr. Misty that has changed is the name.
And you know I know of which I speak.
Had you included your sister in your stealth trips to DQ, I would have known about this unusual bond you had with Mr. Misty, and I could have warned you about the name change.
But then, given the circumstances at the time, I suppose there was only enough change in the bottom of mom's purse for one...
Posted by: EverydaySuperGoddess | April 6, 2006 9:02 AM
I remember the debuts of such fantastic treats as Capri-Sun and Fruit Roll-Ups. I was enthralled with the idea of piercing a shiny pyramid of juice with a pointy straw. Why is that no longer ENOUGH for these kids?
Posted by: Julie | April 6, 2006 3:22 PM
Perhaps a particularly agitated female marketing exec thought it should be called Ms. Misty and Arctic Rush was a compromise. Just a thought...
Posted by: Mary | April 6, 2006 3:50 PM
Mister Misty never did it for me, but I can't find a Banana Supreme hereabouts and it makes me sad. Goin' to the home opener tonight; maybe I'll check the metro DQs...
Posted by: Gette Jones | April 11, 2006 11:08 AM
Very awesomeTreeXlog
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