Mommybloggers: Chris, we're so happy that we finally have the chance to interview you. How are things at The Little Yellow House? Er, we mean The Big Yellow House?

Chris: Things are good. The house is still standing and I am still sane... in spite of the best efforts of my sons.

Mommybloggers: Actually, we noticed that you changed your blog name to 'Notes From The Trenches' Why the change?

Chris: Well, when I first started my blog I didn't really give the blog name much thought. I had the blogger page open tried a couple of things that were already taken, truly lame things that, in retrospect, I am so glad were already taken. The Big Yellow House popped into my head. Most likely because one of my children was really into Bear in the Big Blue House and I unconsciously stole the title. But the thing is I never really liked it. It sounds so happy and sunshiny.

My house isn't even really yellow. Shocking, I know. I'll wait while you compose yourself.

So when I decided to move away from blogger and get a domain name, big yellow house in all it's possible forms was already taken. That made the decision easier. I then began the quest for a completely new name.

A lot of people wrote me and told me they were disappointed. I guess they related to me as an owner of a yellow house. A few said that they would not read my blog if I changed the name because notes from the trenches sounded so dark. It was then that I knew I had found the right name.

Mommybloggers: You're an outspoken authority on parenting without perfectionism. You've gone head to head with a number of "Perfect Mothers" in your quest to educate and enlighten today's mothers. Do you feel like your message is getting across?

Chris: Oooooo, I'm an authority... I'd better let my family know.

I never thought about getting a certain message across. Mostly I just try to keep it real and write about how my life really is with my pint sized posse. There are times that I am exasperated, times that they make me laugh, times I want to run away, but there is always the undercurrent of love and awe that I got this lucky in life. I don't deserve it.

Mommybloggers: You've got what, four, no, wait...five, six, seven kids. You've got seven gorgeous kids, and you homeschool, right?

Chris: I know... I lose count sometimes too! Yes I do homeschool.

Mommybloggers: Tell us your secret! We must know!

Chris: Lots of coffee. And lots of duct tape.

Mommybloggers: Oh, um. We meant the secret of how you find time to write.

Chris: See the duct tape answer above.

Mommybloggers: You manage to take the day-to-day events of your life and spin them into hilarious tales. Does your family appreciate how funny you are?

Chris: No, I don't think they do. Though they should, dammitall. Afterall, I am an authority.

Mommybloggers: You also write heartfelt, memorable posts about the milestones in your children's lives, and about your own challenges. How has blogging affected your writing?

Chris: Well, I finally feel like I am accomplishing something tangible. My blog stands as record of my days as a mother of young, and not so young, children. I think that is what is so appealing to mothers about this sort of writing. Writing about our individual experiences in motherhood legitimizes it, gives it value. Not that it doesn't have an intrinsic value, it does, but blogging is a way to add to the collective voice. It says, "This is important work." In my real life, days will go by without me having an interesting conversation with another adult.

Also, there is something fulfilling about writing that if I have to put on another puppet show out of toilet paper tubes for my potty training daughter, my head will explode and having other mothers agree that cleaning up brain matter is messy and best avoided.

And I get to talk about my boobs.

In years past I think most mothers suffered along in quiet isolation.

I wish that there had been blogging around when I had my first child. It is so much more comprehensive, accurate, and real. I don't know, I never found the space in my oldest sons' baby books to write an entry under the heading "The time I felt like chucking you out of the window because you wouldn't stop crying." or "Oh it was so funny when my boobs were painfully engorged and your father accidentally brushed against them. So I kicked him as hard as I could. We don't know if he'll be capable of fathering anymore children." Those are the sort of things I want to remember.

Mommybloggers: You created a line of tshirts for mothers who are sick of pretending that we love all our children equally. Seriously, you had us spitting our drinks at our monitors. What fashions do you have planned for your fall collection?

Chris: I was surprised that people actually bought them to be perfectly honest.

For fall I am thinking of a line of accessories, such as customized muzzles/scarves that say, "Won't shut-up" or "I talk too much" Or maybe a shirt for myself that says, "yes, they are all mine. unless you want one."

Mommybloggers: We noticed on your list of forty things before forty, you list 'ride a roller coaster.' Does this mean you've never ridden one?

Chris: Uh, no. I completely freaked out on the Dumbo ride a few years ago at Disney World. I was on it with my 3 yr old and he and I were fighting over the bar. He wanted to go high and I wanted it to stay nice and low. And then at the end of the ride where all the flying Dumbos go in the air I started screaming and laughing in that hyperventilating, one step away from a straight jacket type of way.

The rollercoaster is something I am going to have to work up to. You know bladder control after seven children is not what it used to be.

Mommybloggers: From the stoned cats on your lawn to your never-ending renovations, it seems that The Big Yellow House could be chaotic. Yet from your series of answers to stupid questions asked by people who can't imagine having more than two children, it seems like you've got a routine down pat, and an ability to roll with the punches. How much of yourself do you put out there?

Chris: I am not organized person, I just play one on the internet.

It is a tough balance trying to decide what to share and what to hold back. I am relatively transparent about myself and my own faults. I try not to write anything about anyone that I would not say to their face. I'd love to write things about certain acquaintances and I have hilarious stories about family members and their love for Velveeta and Precious Moments figurines, but alas I must hold back.

I also try hard not to write anything that smacks of airing dirty laundry. It wouldn't be fair to my husband since he doesn't have a blog to dish about me. Not that he has anything he could write about me. Nope, nothing at all.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? mama

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? puke, followed by the words: in my bed

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Oh, we are supposed to censor ourselves. That must be in the perfect mother newsletter that I haven't received yet.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? We have a screened in sunporch where the children never think to go looking for me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? Any room inside the house, my children are nothing if not persistent in their quest to tattle on one of their siblings.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I will never offer advice about motherhood again, since I am NOT EVEN A MOTHER, and will from now on defer to all of you... and to kick it of I am sending all the mommybloggers of a month long cruise where there will be 24 hour round the clock child care, 24 hour round the clock alcohol consumption, and 24 hour round the clock calorie free food to eat. And here is a big bag filled with all my newest favorite shit for you to have.

Be sure to check back with us tomorrow as we feature an essay written by Chris!