Mommy Bloggers: Pregnant with Possibilities

The following entry was written by special guest Lucinda of Suburban Turmoil .

“Hey, where’d you put my birth control prescription?�?

I was getting ready for bed last night when I realized that my husband had picked up my prescription on his way home from work and forgotten to tell me where he’d left it.

Blearily, he opened his eyes and lifted his head from the pillow. “I think it’s on the kitchen table. Or I might have left it in the car.�? His head fell back to the pillow with a whump. “Do you need me to go get it?�? he asked in a muffled voice.

“Well, if you don’t, I might get pregnant.�? I put my toothpaste back in the drawer and looked up. He was gone. Just like that. Out to the car. I had never seen him move so fast.

I smiled to myself. I might have hit on something here. I imagined the possibilities.

“Hubs? Do you mind cleaning the toilets this week? Something about the chemicals… I might get pregnant.�?

“Darling, I really need to hit that sale at Macys. Otherwise I could lose my motivation to fit in my clothes and end up getting pregnant.�?

“Sweetie? You need be the one to make the girls go to bed from now on. I’ve heard that stress can cause birth control failure and what if I get pregnant?�?

Hubs and I have been talking a lot about having another baby. We want to. We really do. But not today. And not tomorrow. And not until after the rafting trip in June that we’ve already paid for. And not until we make a little more money. And not until I’ve taken prenatal vitamins for at least three months. And not until I’ve lost that last ten pounds. And not until we figure out where we’ll put another baby in this three bedroom house that already holds five people.

I’m not surprised that Hubs isn’t quite ready yet. Because as hard as another pregnancy will be on me and my body, I know it’s going to be hard on him, too. He’ll have to take on more housekeeping and childrearing duties, in addition to his job. He’ll have to put up with my crazy mood swings, my ballooning body and my two body pillows in bed each night (nicknamed Ned and Ted during the last go round). He’ll have to rub my swollen feet each night. And he’ll have to watch another child take another slice of my attention away from him.

So until I do get pregnant, I might as well use the situation to my advantage.

This morning, I tried it again.

“Honey? Would you mind taking out the trash before you leave?�?

�?I can’t,�? Hubs replied, dashing by me. “If I do, I’ll be late for work.�?

�?If you don’t, I might get pregnant.�?

He gave me a strange look, then smiled before quietly lifting the trash bag from the can and taking it with him out the front door.

Comments

Nice... either way, you win. He does the dirty work in the hopes that you won't get pregnant, and if you do get pregnant, you know he'll do it then, too. :-)

Posted by: Peter | May 5, 2006 9:19 AM

within 6 months BEFORE getting preg for t1j: the husband ( got to? ) go digging thru an apt complex dumpster for our garbage bag that had my pills in it. The things we do for love !

Posted by: ~d | May 5, 2006 9:55 AM

That was great. I would love to use that excuse but hubby has been neutered. Damn.

Posted by: Karen Rani | May 5, 2006 10:23 AM

Bwahahahaha! That rocks. Sounds like he's on to you, though... ;)
I just got my new IUD. After 20 off and on years of hormones, ready to rest my endocrine system. And I don't have to worry about prescriptions or shots for ten years! DH and I would gladly have more kids, I just never want to be pregnant again.

Posted by: Gette Jones | May 5, 2006 11:00 AM

If you have cats, the "I can't clean the litter box" excuse works really well too. Hey, you don't want toxoplasmosis -- and even when the kid is born, you don't want to pass it along either. ;-)

Posted by: Nancy | May 5, 2006 11:03 AM

I love this! Such a great piece. Unfortunately it would never work in our household. He's the one who wants a million kids. I think I'd have to try something more like, "...or I might root for the Red Sox."

Posted by: Mom101 | May 5, 2006 11:15 AM

I LOVE this!!!! hahahaah!

Posted by: cmhl | May 5, 2006 11:36 AM

Too funny Lucinda! I'm going to try this one soon. It won't work but it will get a laugh for sure :)

Posted by: MommaK | May 5, 2006 12:29 PM

I got pregnant from cleaning a toilet for reasons entirely different than chemicals.

Posted by: ieatcrayonz | May 5, 2006 1:56 PM

And I hear that if you change any newborn diapers, you'll get pregnant again! Boy, he's a-gonna be a busy man!!

Posted by: Marie | May 5, 2006 2:05 PM

Yonz, I did NOT need to know that! ;)

Posted by: Lucinda | May 5, 2006 4:03 PM

Heh!