Sleep. In our house it is something to be treasured. Something to be fought for. Something that you would move heaven and earth for just a little bit more of. Oh sure, I am not completely sleep deprived like say a friend with a newborn is, but I am tired. I mean, at least women with newborns have a good reason for it. They have little adorable babies. Nevertheless, their sleep deprivation makes mine look completely insignificant. I admit that much. However, I am so tired it makes me crazy.

The last time I got a good (and I really mean good) night's sleep was back in 1992. I wasn't pregnant and had no children. We all know that pregnancy sleeping isn't real sleeping. If you aren't awakened by having to pee every other hour, then your belly is in the way or your heartburn keeps you awake. You pray for the day that baby is out because you just want to lie on your stomach and sleep. Get real! You will never sleep again!

After your children are born, forget sleep. I mean it. Forget sleep like you have ever known it before. You will never, ever sleep like that again. Oh sure, the babies grow up and start sleeping through the night. You think "Aha! I have it made." Sure, in comparison you do. Compared to the newborn phase, yes, you will "sleep". However, the days of just closing your eyes and falling flat out into deep, coma-like, slobber-sleeping are over. You've just moved up the sleep ladder a rung to "sleeping with children in the house". You will forever have a subconscious ear listening for children to cry out, puke or begin wandering around a dark house. Even though you appear to be sleeping, you are not completely sleeping.

"But what about when the kids are older and sleep away from the house?" Don't bother dreaming. Even when that happens you are stuck with one of two scenarios: Either they have siblings thus eliminating the "child-free" home or you have that ear listening for the phone to ring in the middle of the night "just in case".

So you can see why I am tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep since 1992. That is a helluva long time to be tired.

Which is why sleeping in, naps and going to bed early are things that we will fight for. We use it as a bargaining tool.

"If I let you sleep in today, then tomorrow you have to get up and deal with the kids."

or

"I am going to take a nap now. Yes, I know you have to go work, but you did sleep in an hour and a half later than I did, so added up over the past 3 days, I am entitled to 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I have it banked. I am cashing in 3 of them."

Then of course there is the favorite:

"Well, okay, I'll do that, but I am going to note the time I lost in sleep and tack it on to tomorrow morning and you have to get up when the alarm goes off."

You'd think we were talking about money or something. But no. Anyone can get money. People with kids know that sleep is a rare, rare thing.