When life gets tough, the mom bloggers online rally
I believe we all have days when we feel we are overwhelmed. We have moments that grab us by the throat and threaten to choke out our strength to endure one more callous word, one more pile of dirty laundry or break up one more fight between our kids. And then? Then we are shown what it is like to really have a fight on our hands and our laundry woes seem so petty.
This week I have been so proud to be a part of the mommyblogging community as I have seen how these moms have rallied around one of our own. (Just look at the member of the Team Why Mommy roundup! And those are only the ones who signed up there and does not take into consideration the many, many other who are are Team Why Mommy's side.)
Some of you know a fellow mom blogger by the name Susan. Others know her as Why Mommy of Toddler Planet. Most of us know her as the mom who stood up and educated us on Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She didn't choose to become the face of this disease. This disease cruelly chose her. Susan is a mom with two young children. She blogs and revels in their life together.
From the moment she shared with her readers her diagnoses, people rallied around her giving her any support she needed--whether she asked for it or not. Susan shares with us what it is like to be a mom and have IBC. Her strength, courage and openness in talking about it has been touching and heart-breaking. To read her is to love her.
This past week she underwent surgery. A double mastectomy. Though considered radical because her cancer is only in one breast, Susan felt this was the best way for her to go.
Even though the cancer is only in one breast, I have elected to have a double mastectomy instead of a single, for several reasons. The first is that we can’t be sure that there are no cancer cells in the left breast. Since I was nursing when diagnosed, the MRI was somewhat ambiguous to the first reader. The oncologist believes there was no cancer in the left breast, that it was simply increased uptake due to the active ducts, but I’ll feel better just in case. The second reason is that because of my back pain, it wouldn’t be good for me to have one large-ish breast and one flat side. It would torque my spine and be uncomfortable, particularly as time goes on. And I’d always have to wear a prosthetic breast to make them “match.” The third reason is the most important — a double mastectomy will reduce my risk of breast cancer recurrance by 15%. Now, that may be a small figure in most circumstances, but to me it’s huge. Since the risk of recurrance for inflammatory breast cancer patients is 90%, a reduction of 15% leaves me somewhere in the neighborhood of 75% recurrence risk. Much better!I am comfortable with my decision to have a double mastectomy. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that this is the right thing to do, and the right timing to do it. I’ve had 6 months of chemo to rid the rest of my body of cancer cells and reduce the tumor burden to make the surgery possible. I have looked forward to this for so long….
As news of her surgery began to spread around the Internet, moms and other bloggers began to rally behind her in a show of support. Each time I would stumble across another blog bearing the "Bring It On" button that showed that Susan was in that blogger's thoughts, my heart was warmed. Too often we forget that there are real people behind the blogs we read. Real people with real feelings and real problems that need and appreciate our support when life gets tough.
Here are just a few of the amazing posts I came across that touched me and made me proud to see bloggers support each other in this sometimes cruel environment.
Grrrlfriend Jess at Sassafras writes:
I won't ask you to get on board with all of today's to-dos. They are my own personal missions in honor of WhyMommy and in gratitude for the life I have right now, in this moment, at this time, today. But please do join me (and many others) in sending a prayer, a comment, a blessing, a bit of the love you have to give WhyMommy's way as she undergoes a double mastectomy and as she looks toward many tomorrows.I pray that God holds WhyMommy in the palm of her hand and that all of the goodness sent her way will lift up this amazing writer, mother, wife, woman and give her peace.
The GoodyBlog interviewed Why Mommy back in September of 2007. (You can find that interview here on the GoodyBlog.) As the surgery approached, they posted these words of encouragement--along with the "Bring It On" button.
WhyMommy is going to have a double mastectomy and we to ask all of you to join us in sending our love, positive thoughts and prayers her way. WhyMommy go kick cancer's butt!
Mamma Loves summed it up beautifully. This community of mom bloggers that do what they can to take care of their own.
The biggest surprise about blogging has been the incredible community that exists to laugh together, cry together, mock each other and when necessary bolster each other in times of need.
...
[She] has shared with us her deepest fears, her physical pain and the emotional turbulence of living with cancer. She also treated us to her moments of joy and the triumphs of perseverance.She's given us so much through her words, and never once has she asked for anything in return except for our positive energy to support her battle with cancer.
...
So today is the day that we might return just a smidgen of what she's given to us.
Sometimes we need to put things in perspective when we are overwhelmed and feeling like it is all too much. Susan is a great example of that.
Lawyer Mama blew me away with her words of support and perspective.
We're always making plans for the future, aren't we?Tomorrow I'll start organizing the closets.
Tomorrow I'll start my diet.
Tomorrow I'll stick to my budget.
Tomorrow I'll get out of bed.
For some perspective, I'll remember that Why Mommy's Tomorrow truly is a new beginning. Tomorrow is her long awaited surgery and, hopefully, the beginning of her long life without cancer.
Susan has touched thousands of people through her words and through the bravery it has taken to share what she has been going through. Her surgery was on January 22, 2008. And she came through it with flying colors. Many prayers were answered that day. Many mom bloggers who were there with her in spirit are still rejoicing with her in spirit and online.
Susan shared with us her thoughts after her surgery.
Already, I can look down at my chest and not be repulsed.In fact, I am relieved. All I could think of when I saw the unfamiliar flat space on my chest was HURRAH. The cancer, the weight, the aches, the pains, and again, the cancer, is GONE.
GONE, my friends. I couldn’t wait to tell you.
I have to admit, after following her story, praying for her recovery and holding my breath the day of her surgery, the words that brought tears to my eyes and had me thanking every possible deity known to man or beast, were these by Susan:
I’m home. I’m safe......for now, I am happy to be home. Happy to be kissing my baby, talking to my preschooler (did he grow while I was gone?), and reading blogs and books to keep myself sane.
If you have ever asked what makes the mom blogging community so special or why so many women are proud to identify with this growing group of women bloggers, this should answer that question. Support. Friendship. Camaraderie. I have said it before and I will say it again: The mom blogger community is strong, powerful and takes care of its own...and others.
Now go over and wish Susan a healthy, blessed recovery. She is an amazing woman and deserves it!
(cross posted on BlogHer)

















Comments
The power of the momosphere, blogosphere, never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think we've topped ourselves, we out do the last Great Thing we came together to do.
WhyMommy will be in our thoughts and prayers for days and years to come. We can never give too much support to those we love.
Posted by: Dana | January 26, 2008 5:31 PM
You've put so many blooger's words together with one message so beautifully. It made me feel proud and humbled to be a part of such a rich and empowering communtiy of women (esp when it is not always so pretty). I am honored to have my words included here. Thank you.
Posted by: Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) | January 27, 2008 9:10 PM