I do.

Upon hearing these words the vast majority of us think of marriage. Been there, done that. In a few short months these two words will take on a new meaning for me. They have been spoken already to my friend, companion, and lover - my boyfriend. (The word boyfriend sounds silly to me, considering that I'm close to forty. Isn't there a better word?) This summer those two words will speak to my commitment to that relationship as we combine our families under one roof. Without getting married.

"I do" will speak to my trust in our relationship, my level of commitment to my partner, my willingness to combine my life with his. We will blend our families as so many others have done after divorce. However, this time around we are choosing not to marry. We will face all of the challenges that divorced parents face when bringing together two separate family units and combining them into one new family. There are some other situations that we will have to face in our new life together that may or may not pop up in the lives of those who remarry. For example, how do I introduce my partner to others? He won't be my husband but the term boyfriend certainly doesn't reflect our level of commitment to one another. Can he pick them up at school and sign school forms since there is no legal attachment between him and my children? These are only a couple of issues that I've thought of so far but I'm sure more will come up.

My partner in this daring venture is Mr. Irony. I call him this because our meeting at all was rather ironic in my point of view. The other characters in this production are my children Anime - a 14 year old teenage girl, Actress - a 10 going on 15 year old girl, and Action - my seven year old son. Mr. Irony has one daughter, Parmenia, who is 17 and will graduate from high school this year.

I'm filled with questions as to how we will blend Parmenia into our family unit when she is pretty much an adult and will be living 5 hours away. I worry that she will feel that she's lost her dad to these invading "siblings". I worry how my children will take to having a man around the house as it's mainly been the four of us for the last seven years. Not to mention worrying about discipline issues, school functions, dealing with former in-laws, cross-country parenting with Mr. Ex and his fiancée, finances. Oh the joys of adult life! There are so many questions that swirl in my brain as to how this will all work and how each of us will adjust. My two youngest are whirlwinds of motion and noise. Mr. Irony likes peace, quiet, and order (something that is rare in my house). I am prone to clutter while he is not. We have a dog which he is allergic to. I'm forgetful and go-with-the-flow while he is organized and a planner. We complement each other but will we drive each other crazy being in the same house? Can we make that house a home? Will Mr. Irony regret giving up his plans to go overseas (after his daughter graduates) to stay stateside with me while I turn my life around and go back to school? We are both committed to making our lives blend and work together so I can only hope that this will be a more successful venture than my first attempt at sharing my life with someone.

First challenge coming up? House-hunting. We've made our list of requirements. Now we're waiting until it gets closer to the end of the school year to get serious about finding the house that we will make into a home for our respective families. Stay tuned for the next act in this production of life as a blended family!

---
This entry was written by our special guest Celtic Buffy who writes the blog Serving Up Life...One Latte at a Time