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« The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used To Be: Exception One |
Main
| stop the presses! »
When my son was in kindergarten, he gave me a pair of earrings for Christmas. He picked them out himself, and he chose 'the most beautifullest earrings in the whole store' for me.
Every morning, I put them on and wore them to school. Both of my children came to school with me (from K-8!) so I wore the earrings until they went down to their classrooms at 7:50 each morning.
As soon as the coast was clear, I took off the pearl earrings and replaced them with another pair that I kept in my desk. He never knew. He still doesn't know.
As soon as my own students left, I hurriedly put my little boy's earrings on again. As far as he knew, I'd been wearing them all day. In my heart, I had.
He used to brag about how those beautiful earrings Momy always wore had been chosen by him and him alone, and purchased with his saved-up allowance. (He got fifty cents a week once he started school. A man has needs.)
I was young, and insecure, and my job was fairly new. I wanted to make a good impression. Otherwise, I would have worn those earrings all day, and either held my head high and said nothing, or explained why they were so precious to me. Some of the other teachers would have understood. Some would not have. I was young, and insecure.
When he was in the fourth grade, he bought me another pair of earrings down at the school's 'Santa's Workshop' store. They were a little less 'elegant' than the original pair, and I was able to wear them in public.
No pirate chest or Tiffany's window ever held such precious jewels.
When I cleaned out my desk, the summer of '04, that first pair of earrings was still in my pencil tray.
I do not remember the last time I wore them. I do not remember the last time I took them off and put them in the tray. I do not remember being asked where they were. I do not remember feeling different because I was now putting on 'normal' earrings in the mornings. I do not remember if he asked about them at all.
For four and a half years, I wore these earrings every morning and every evening. Purty, huh.
They are pearls beyond price. Close to three inches of pearls.
When he was in the 8th grade, I showed him the earrings in my desk drawer. He looked stunned, and said, "Mom, you've got to be kidding!"
I wasn't kidding. And when I told him how beautiful they were to me, and always would be, he looked incredulous. And then he grinned and said "Mom, you are so WEIRD."
Well, there's that.
If I had it all to do over again, I'd wear the dangly pearls the whole day.
When you get old, you get braver. And less concerned with what "people" think.
You tend to tell is like it is, when you get older. And let me tell you all: those earrings are the most beautiful jewels I own.
Advice? From MOI? Sure. Here's some advice for you all: when your children make or buy what is, to them, beautiful things for Mommy, wear them. Oh, mothers, wear these dreadful conglomerations of fake pearls and shiny things. Wear them over your heart, and touch them often and smile. Think of the thought that went into the making or selecting of these genuinely hideous "things," because the day will come when you'll look back and wish you had. Don't be too cowardly to walk proudly into the room wearing three-inch-long pearl net earrings, or broaches the size and shape of a baboon's fist, or a ring won from a bubble gum machine. Nothing a jewelry store could possibly offer will ever be worth even half as much as these gifts from the heart of a little boy or girl, chosen for their sparkle and size, because Mommy deserves the prettiest jewelry in the world.
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Comments
My son at the age of 8 bought me earrings and a ring from the secret santa shop. I'm a sahm so I don't work, but I wear them when I can. :)
Posted by: Spice | March 5, 2008 6:16 AM
Lovely.
Posted by: laurie | March 5, 2008 8:03 PM
This is lovely.
Posted by: laurie | March 6, 2008 4:54 PM
What a beautiful, beautiful post.
So far, since my daughter is only three, we both wear the stickers that she shares with us. All day long. And I don't care a whit what anyone thinks. (Though I do laugh at my husband's sweater -- he wears it every evening, and it is just covered with stickers, because our daughter keeps giving him more, and it takes awhile before they lose their stickiness and fall off. Very funny, especially when he wears it out to breakfast!)
Posted by: midlife mommy | March 7, 2008 12:01 PM
why would you put on and take off the earrings. you are deceiving him.
"as soon as the coast was clear" - i think that sounds horrible. i actually hate lying to my kids.
why could you not wear them for certain occasions only, and tell him what those occasions are. going shopping, etc.,
it's a nice idea of thinking that you appreciate his kind gesture. but imagine, if it was your husband, and he gave you earrings, would you deceive him the same way, and would you feel that it was just as acceptable?
Posted by: mamatha | March 7, 2008 1:39 PM
This is beautiful-it made me cry! I, too, have beautiful jewelery from my boys. Thanks for the reminder to wear it. The pride they have when I do is priceless!
Posted by: Headless Mom | March 8, 2008 4:07 PM
What an amazing post!! As a mommy of four I do know this all too well! Thank you for sharing!
Posted by: Dolores Schwartz | March 9, 2008 10:05 PM
About gifts from my child. I am now 77, she is 54. I still have just about all of the various things she gave me over the years from the time she was about 4. I can't remember at what time I got many of them but every once in a while, I still wear her choice in jewelry she gave me when she was a child (even when she was 5, she had reasonably good taste.) I have gifts from my two grandsons too. A bit of a senior's advice: let them know how much you love their gifts - the first painted rock that I got from my eldest grandson still sits on my dresser in a glass display case - they choose much better things as they get older. Now that my daughter ia a mother and my Grandsons are 27 and 29 I get some of the greatest gifts - and now they even know what I like!
Posted by: Gramma Baashi | March 17, 2008 11:42 AM
Sweet. Right now, my 2 year old likes to do my hair. When I take her to daycare and I have many various colored ribbons in funny little ponytails sticking out of my head the older kids say, "What is in your hair? It looks weird!" But, my lil G wanted them there, so I wear them down there!! : )
Posted by: Tonya | March 23, 2008 7:04 AM