Mommybloggers: So, Sweatpants Mom, huh? Tell us about the name of your blog.

Marsha: Okay, let me clear up a misconception. I don’t actually spend all day in my sweatpants. I’ve been known to throw on a pair of jeans and a blouse once in a while. Sometimes they’re even clean. I thought of calling my blog ‘WellGrooomed Mom’ but who needs that pressure. It’s all about lowering expectations. Now when people meet me and I don’t have toothpaste on my chin or I’m not wearing my pajamas they’re thrilled. What was the question again?

Mommybloggers: You crack us up every time we read you - your combination of dry wit and eye for the humor in any given situation makes your blog a joy. Have you always been a writer?

Marsha: Aside from the occasional copy line or witty email, I’ve been a graphic designer in the entertainment industry all my life and never wrote a single thing until around three years ago. Now I primarily write and take on only a few design jobs a year, but for some reason whenever anyone asks me what I do I say, “I’m a designer.” Obviously I don’t feel worthy of calling myself a writer yet. What’s up with that? Help me.

Mommybloggers: As the kicked-back mama of two girls,you often write about your style of parenting, and how it differs from what is expected these days. Do you get any flack from readers?

Marsha: I’ll occasionally get scolded by the righteous mom who thinks I should get off my lazy ass and get my girls into soccer, but otherwise I think most of my readers relate to what I’m saying and are somewhat relieved that they’re not alone. No one wants to be the only mom on the playground who didn’t serve their kid organic muesli for breakfast, or who opted to take everyone to the mall instead of to the noon showing of ‘Storybook King Lear.’ I’m thinking of starting an after-school ‘camp’ for like-minded parents and their kids who want to shun the whole über-parenting trend, but are afraid of becoming social pariahs. We’ll all pretend we’re shuttling the children to softball games or drama lessons but then everyone will just hang out at my house and drink coffee, eat junk food and refuse to talk to our kids about their feelings.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask - are you a "mommyblogger?" What do you think of the term?

Marsha: I am a mommyblogger, damnit! There’s a stigma attached to a lot of terms these days and I just don’t get it. Mommyblogger is a mom who blogs, for chrissake. I think it’s all in the way the term is presented. For instance, someone called me a “lady driver” the other day and the way he said it was so offensive, even though I am in fact, a lady who drives. Of course, I did just back over the guy’s foot but that’s beside the point.

Mommybloggers: We loves us some Prince, too - how is your plan to reform your children's musical tastes going?

Marsha: I’m losing ground fast. The little ingrates asked me to turn down “Purple Rain” the other day because they couldn’t hear their YouTube video of My Chemical Romance. They finally listened to some Janet Jackson recently, though. I found that withholding food for a few days really increases their appreciation of fine music.

Mommybloggers: What gets you really excited?

Marsha: Coffee. You think I’m joking.

Mommybloggers: What could you live your whole life never having to deal with?

Marsha: Cockroaches, junk mail and the mother of one of my daughter’s friends. You see there’s a theme here – none of them have any business being in my house.

Mommybloggers: Tell us something surprising, that your readers don't know about.

Marsha: It took me two months to get back to Mommybloggers with the answers to these questions, and theyre still speaking to me.

Mommybloggers: Your husband and daughters are often the subject of your posts. What do they think about the whole blog thing?

Marsha: My husband often thanks me for making him look so good in my stories, and he should. Because he’s really just a terrible person who usually brews the coffee too strong and makes a lot of noise washing dishes when I’m trying to sleep in.

As for my kids, I’ve actually told them they’re not allowed to read my blog, mainly because of the um, language I often use and the subject matter of some of my posts. When there’s a piece that I’ve written about them that I think is appropriate I print it out and let them read it. But they’re pretty savvy, and as they get older they’re getting suspicious of what I write about them; I think it’s only a matter of time before they go behind my back and read my archives. I’m hoping they’ll spend their computer time more wisely, hacking the school’s files or looking up bad words like normal kids do.

Mommybloggers: What won't you write about?

Marsha: There are certain things that my husband, kids, friends or family members do and then immediately say to me, “Do NOT put this on your blog” and I respect that. Like the time my husband got locked behind the gates of our storage space facility, I had to be sensitive and not write about it. Oh wait - I did. But you know, I got a crapload of hits on that post and a ton of comments so it’s really important to get your priorities straight and seize the moment.

Mommybloggers: So all of a sudden, we're seeing you everywhere. Tell us where we can get more of your writing.

Marsha: I spend an unhealthy amount of time writing about Angelina Jolie’s flat stomach and Britney Spears’ bad weave over on FameCrawler as well as on my two blogs, Sweatpantsmom and Views From The Pants. I also just got my first print byline in Genlux Magazine, where I interviewed Hayden Panetierre from the show Heroes. I have three thousand copies in my van if you’d like one.

Mommybloggers: What do you think about all these multiple-blog-having writers? Is quantity a good thing?

Marsha: Sure, why not? I personally can’t keep up with more than two blogs, but if you want to have sixty and can maintain them while remembering to shower and feed your kids, then I say more power to you. It’s like my motto as I’m going through the aisles of Costco, “Screw quality, go for the quantity.”

Mommybloggers: Where do you think this whole "mommyblogging" thing is heading - for you personally, and for the internet in general?

Marsha: I think the reach of not only mommybloggers but bloggers in general is just going to keep growing – in politics, advertising, and in media. People are starting to take notice of and appreciate the wide diversity of voices out there and the influence they can have. Let’s just remember to use our powers for good and not evil. And by that I mean putting an end to blogs about American Idol and Beanie Baby collections.

Mommybloggers: Aaaaand: Here are the questions we subject all of our victims, er, guests, to:

1. What is your favorite parent related word?
Goodnight.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
Catwhen. As in “You promised we could get a cat when can we get one?

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
We don’t really have any ‘substitute’ words we use around them, although we try not to let loose too often. It’s getting harder as they get older and the words have more weight. The other day my husband said ‘fuck’ in the car and you could have heard a pin drop. Finally my 9-year old said, “Dad, I’m SO disappointed in you.”

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
Sadly, the bathroom.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
See #4.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?
I’d like to hear her announce that we’re part of that annual show where everyone gets all the free stuff. I could really use a new blender.

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

The following entry was written for Mommybloggers by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. It has been a joy to pass over the reigns to her today.

My daughter is much cooler than me and she’s two. Yesterday she wore cammo pants with a red tutu – and she pulled it off! People stopped to take her picture. Believe me I had been worried about her future because her mother is a failure in that department. No one’s ever stopped to take a picture of me in my banana clip.

You may not know at first glance that I’m not hip. I mean, I’m wearing my “vintage” shirt, but, unfortunately for me I didn’t pay 35 cents for it at a thrift store or 3,500 at Fred Segal. No, sadly, I got it at Wet Seal, the store that caters to the 11 to maybe 18 set. I’m 40. I actually do a lot of shopping there. I know. it’s true. I’m a member of a club that would never admit it’s own existence. But, I’m coming out of the closet. I’m one of them. The tragically unhip. I’m not nor have I ever been uncool enough to bring it full circle and be geeky in a hipster way. I’ve slipped through the cracks.

And I’m not one of those people who cool doesn’t matter to. You know, a Wall Street type who’s mad for Dave Matthews and knows the world is on his side on this one or someone who calls Dr. Laura introducing themselves as “Hi Dr. Laura, I’m My Kid’s Mom” or uses the phrase “Ah ha moment” with serious purpose. No. I’m not oblivious to my unhipness. I wish I was. What I am is so much worse. I’m a dreaded wannabe.

It started in early grade school. In our studio apartment, my mother collected green stamps like it was her job and my clothes were ordered for me from the Sears catalog. But here’s the catch, I liked it. Yeah, I didn’t groan like a future Janeane Garafolo, I looked forward to the delivery of my purple polyesther pants suit with white fringe and the daintiest 100% plastic flowers surrounding the turtleneck white collar with glee. Oh yeah, I used words like glee.

In sixth grade I made an early attempt at hip. I begged and begged to get a “real” professional haircut by a real professional hair dresser. Up until that point, my mother thought it was perfectly fine and a great money saver to pull out the old Singer sewing scissors and chop away until I had a straight wall of bangs well above my eyebrows. Finally my mother relented. Only, it wasn’t at a “salon” it was a friend’s mom who cut hair out of her house on the cheap while enjoying a few gin and grapefruit juices – but hey, I thought, at least it wasn’t MY MOM. The hairstyle I wanted, naturally, was the infamous Dorothy Hamill - the haircut of the pre-pubescent ice skating, gymnastic, freshly ear pierced set. But the “hairstylist” may have been more familiar with the work of Olga Korbut. The result didn’t look cute and girly on me, hitting my jawline just so and flipping up delicately. No, I just looked like a boy. Possibly a cute boy. But a boy. I didn’t become aquainted with layers until my twenties.

After that, there were Toni home perms that went awry (are there any other kind?), Sun-In, self tanning lotions that made me look jaundiced at best and other misfired attempts at hip. It seemed to always be my fault too, seeing as the other girls in class managed to pull it off. And, I swear over twenty years have gone by and the self-tanners still turn my skin colors not found in nature. But I’m still trying.

Shorty after the perm incident that went awry, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party. Okay, not exactly a friend. More like a girl’s whose mother made her extend an invite to all her 6th grade classmates. I obsessed on what to get her for her present and decided on a record, not just any record but my favorite record. Janis Ian. Even my mother thought it might not be a great idea but I loved Janis Ian. Not just the song “At Seventeen” but all the poignant, angst filled songs that I cried and sang along to in my room wishing I was a folky, 20-something, unruly haired singer who could literally make people’s hearts ache with a specific chord change. And pull off a beret.

At the birthday party, I presented my gift with bated breath waiting to finally be accepted, perhaps even celebrated. My heart swelled with pride while she unwrapped it. But the recipient, Debbie Shindower, gave me a look of pity I’ll never forget. I’d gotten it so wrong and they all knew it. Smirks gave way to laughter and exclamations of “Who the fuck is Janis Ian?” Debbie went on to open Shaun Cassidy, The Bee Gees, Olivia Newton John and other far less navel gazing lesbians, apparently more appropriate for a 10- year-old girl.

In another misguided attempt to fit in with the cool kids in my semi-tough neighborhood, I played along with some clumsy sexual games in the alley behind my house. A few of the girls had gathered and were daring each other to rub up against the 5th grade boy who lived across the street from me. Not wanting to do it and not wanting to refuse, I participated. This escalated to making him pull his pants down and one of the girls suggesting we touch his flaccid penis with a leaf. Then we were dared by our leader to “touch it” which I did for a millisecond (it felt like sand paper). So, years later I found out that the boy had been mildly retarded. So if semi-molesting a mentally challenged 5th grader made me cool then score one for the home team!

Continue reading "Tragically Unhip" »

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 9:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

The following essay was written especially for Mommybloggers by our featured blogger, Sarah.

Anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows that I am a huge
football fan. The Super Bowl is my Easter. I love football, I love
food, I love beer, I love tv, what more could I ask for? So in honor
of it being Super Bowl week, I have decided to tell you a story about
how I watched the entire Super Bowl one year and missed the one part
that everyone talked about the next day.

I don't know. Maybe this is actually more of a non-story.
Whatever, I'm going to tell you anyway because I still can't believe
this happened.

Let me set the stage, Super Bowl XXXVIII, February 1st - I know it
must have been 2004 because I was 100% sober during the big game.
This obviously means I was pregnant. It was the New England Patriots
versus the Carolina Panthers and it was a really good game. It is
half time, and there are four people in my living room. We are
talking and watching the half time show. I see Janet Jackson
and Justin Timberlake. Four of us are watching this stupid half time
show (I'm still not sure why we hadn't changed the channel) and not
one of us noticed the infamous "wardrobe malfunction"
.
I HAD TIVO! WE WERE RECORDING THE GAME! We could have rewound (and
you call it rewinding if it's digital?) it and watched it if only one
of the four of us had noticed something funny. Two of us were not
even drinking. How did we miss it? I still don't know. One of the
most famous of all Super Bowl non-football related moments and I
completely missed it. It was worse than the time we turned off the
Jets game right before a drunk Joe Namath told Suzy
Kolber that he wanted to kiss her. (How did I function before You
Tube?)

To recap: I was watching, I had TiVo, I was sober, and yet not one
of the four of us (and the other three were all straight men) saw
Janet Jackson's boob until the next day.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to tell all of you this, but I do
feel better getting it off of my chest (get it? Sorry, that was a
crappy joke) and it seemed appropriate to talk about it this week as
a tribute to the NFL's biggest game of the year.

I also want to thank Jenn and the other Mommybloggers for being so
great and featuring me this week. Thanks ladies, I love what you do.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

For more of Sarah's writing, go visit her at her blog Sarah and the Goon Squad!

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 8:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The following entry was written by our featured blogger, Kelly. It is one of her favorites that she wanted to share with Mommybloggers.

Special… having my own bathroom.

Not so special… having people need me only when I’m in the shower and try to talk through the door that’s 5 feet away when there’s water rushing through my ears.

Special… having friends ride the bike trails with me now that they know I ride with some frequency.

Not so special… having people stare at me when I’m riding like I look like some sort of prize in my bike helmet and tank and shorts (Oh, note to the Bubba who spoke to me through his pickup truck window: No, thanks. Not ever. No. No. No.)

Special… having my husband agree to make dinner even though he works full-time.

Not so special… just having a bowl of cereal while he spends time wondering what to make for dinner.

Special… having Morgan wake up early to make me muffins because he loves me.

Not so special… having Morgan eat all the chocolate chip muffins and leave the lemon poppyseed ones for me.

Special… getting a free lip gloss mailer from Bath and Body Works.

Not so special… having to spend $10 just to get the free lip gloss.

Special… listening to my husband tell me how proud he is that I just rode my bike 25 miles.

Not so special… listening to my husband say, “Wooooo… you stink!” after riding 25 miles.

Special… working up a sweat, even if it’s not an appreciable quality for those who have to smell me.

Not so special… boob sweat. What’s up with that?

Special… reading a comment on my blog from my friend Joe-in-the-Netherlands.

Not so special… reading a comment about missing my Date in Delft with him online because of my shit Monday. I’ll make it up to you.

Special… getting the low down on where Mallory is all the time even though she’s 20 years old and doesn’t have to tell me.

Not so special… wondering if “Going fishing” or “Playing ultimate frisbee” is a euphamism for “Getting drunk.”

Special… having my family do all the laundry since Mommy is so busy with reading and writing and taking class.

Not so special… having my family ruin my expensive Victoria’s Secret bras by putting them in the dryer.

This essay was originally published on Mocha Momma on June 27, 2006. If you want to read more by our incredible guest blogger, Kelly, visit her personal blog, Mocha Momma.

Posted by mommybloggers at 7:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: We loved meeting you are BlogHer. You are a hoot! Are you naturally outgoing or is it something that is dependent on your surroundings. Because, honey, we have pictures that say you are certainly not shy!

Karen: Most of the time, I'm outgoing. On the inside, I'm a complete MESS. Seriously: nervous, jittery, drooling mess. As a child I was always shy, probably because I was ugly as sin and kids called me things like Chicken Legs and Bucky The Wonder Horse. I was built like a rake - not one of those $9.99 models either. Dude, a premium rake that could kick leaves and take names. As a result, once I had my braces off and my curves had arrived, I was PRETTY. Dammit, I wanted everyone to know it. Then I had kids and the body went to shit, but I realized that people liked me for my personality. So they say.

Mommybloggers: You have said more than once that you had a rotten childhood. In a few entries you talk about it. How has that impacting your mothering and your view on motherhood?

Karen: If I find myself yelling, I stop myself. I raise my kids with healthy doses of love, listening and sarcasm. 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I don't spank. I don't believe in spanking. No animal, child or person should ever be hit. Except in football. Go Cowboys!

Sometimes I find myself comparing my mannerisms to my mothers, and I have to really stop and think about whether it is a good one or one I don't want my kids around. I bounce alot of stuff off my husband. He is an amazing father and was raised by normal, loving parents. So if I'm stuck, I have them to turn to as well. They are as much family to me as my own extended family. (My parents are not a part of my life at all.)

Mommybloggers: What kind of kid were you growing up? Do you see those same traits coming out in your own children?

Karen: Well besides being butt-ugly, I was an introvert. I was really good in school and only once did I defy authority. I told a supply teacher she was ugly, on a dare. I turned 100 shades of red as she made me apologize, in front of everyone.

I was afraid to break a rule. To a point, I still am. I think it's the constant brow-beating I got from my mother that puts the fear of God into me. Weird how someone so pathetic has shaped me into this rule-fearing person.

I don't see these traits coming out in my kids. I purposely give them choices, rather than telling them what to do. I try very hard to foster whatever loves they have: with Dylan, it's reading, and with Thomas, well, it's chocolate milk. And his trike. I don't ever want to squash them as I was squashed.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret.

Karen: I honestly believe I will feel nothing when my parents die. I am emotionally bankrupt when it comes to them. I have no regrets. I do, however, feel guilty for not loving them anymore. I'm pretty confused about all that. Obviously.

Mommybloggers: Describe yourself to our readers using just 7 adjectives.

Karen:

Unique
Happy
Loving
Proud
Quirky
Moody
Funny

Mommybloggers: The Mommybloggers are dropping in. How will you entertain us?

Karen: Well there's always the crab dance. (*Editor's note: If you have not wet your pants laughing with Karen, this should do the trick!) Though I don't actually own that trampoline, so we'll have to improvise. We could make some coffee, throw some Bailey's in it and hang out on my back deck where we'd laugh until one of us peed ourself. Ahem....Jenn.

Mommybloggers: Since you brought it up, there seems to be a rumor that you had this issue at BlogHer of laughing until you peed your pants. Care to confirm or deny this rumor?

Karen: Deny, deny, deny!

Mommybloggers Have you had any bad experiences with blogging?

Karen: Not really bad. There were a couple of comments I had to delete - one of which I suspected was my own father, but I can't be sure.

The weirdest thing was being recognized at a local diner. The waitress recognized Thomas and I. Freaky.

Mommybloggers: So you proposed to your husband, down on one knee. Tell us about
his reaction and how that came about.

Karen: Well....I was naked. So his reaction to that is always favourable. Even
since I had the kids and my body changed, he's always been a fan of the nakedness. Crazy bugger.

You have to know this about me: if I have a gift for you, I cannot keep a secret. I will literally feel as though I may implode if I cannot share this with you. So for me to go out and buy this amazing man an engagement
ring (THAT MORNING - SEE? NO patience!), then spend all afternoon with him, probably acting like a Mexican Jumping Bean - well that is huge.

We got into bed that night, and I was SO excited. I couldn't wait. He KNEW something was up. I couldn't wait. I jumped out of bed, and he asked where I was going. I yelled something like, "Be right back!" and
grabbed the ring, in it's little box, sticking it behind my back.

I crouched down beside his side of the bed and he and he propped himself up on one elbow and asked me what I was doing. I told him I loved him, and that I would love him forever, and how special he was to me, and asked him to grow old and wrinkly with me.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he said yes. He grabbed me tight and we stayed like that for a very long time. Nowadays my knee would be screaming at me, but then, I was all of 118 pounds and my knees were in
fine shape.

We've been married 8 years now and it's still as wonderful as it was that day. Better, even. Sometimes we look at each other and say, "Is it really that hard for some people?" and "We are so lucky." And we are. Neither one of us take that for granted.

Mommybloggers: You told a story about jumping from the front of the van to the back to slam the hatch that you noticed was not closed all the way while in a carwash in order to save the beer (not the van) was hysterical. Always save the beer. (It did make us love you just a tad more after reading that!) Now, had you ruined the van, would it have been worth it to save the beer and ruin the van?

Karen: Well, it was Cindy's van. Cindy is a dear friend of mine. Had I ruined her van, she might have thanked me. Had I known the outcome of such an insurance claim, I might have chanced it. For her. And for the beer.

Mommybloggers: If we tell you how much we love you, will you make us some nipple cookies? Explain nipple cookies for those who are not aware.

Karen: I love love love marachino cherries. When I was little, my Granny used to make these Christmas cookies with cherries in them. I know I should have just called her for the recipe, but that one looked so easy on the internet. Damn internet. Once the cookies were baked, there was nothing to do but blog the shit outta them!

Mommybloggers: Lately we have seen many blogs being designed by the amazing Troll Baby Graphics. What got you started in blog design? Is it something you do because you can or is it a passion of yours to find the right graphic to fit the right blog?

Karen: I got started by playing around in Paint Shop Pro, years ago, making little graphics for online friends on message boards. Once I started blogging, one of the first things I did was stare at my old Blogger template for hours, figuring out how it all worked. I bought books on eBay and taught myself. I'm still teaching myself.

I am passionate about my work. I love meeting new people and making their personal space, their very own. I was close to quitting before BlogHer, but was inspired by many of the women I had designed for, and decided to
keep it up. I'm glad I spoke out about my concerns, because everyone was very supportive toward my little piece of the web.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (*With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Bedtime - not because the kids go to bed, but because it is the source of
some very tender moments for us: kisses, hugs, talks and snuggles. My
favorite time of day.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Milestones - only because so many competi-parents rely on them, and
"experts" judge us on when they are reached. Parents are experts, and I
wish more parents would take that term for themselves.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around
children?

Fartsucker. I use it instead of "Oh shit," or worse.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

The back deck. I just quit smoking again, but I step out with the dog when I need 5 minutes. Honestly though, that isn't as often anymore now that Thomas is older. The first year of his life? I was on the back deck.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The bathroom. Thomas finds me in there, and exclaims, "Boys have penises
and girls have Vaginasaurs!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Um. Duh. Oprah DOES exist. Did you not know that? I totally want to meet her. When I was a little girl, I wanted her to be my mother. She taught me alot about right and wrong from about age 9 upwards. Thank God. If I had listened to my own mother, I'd be an alcoholic, abusive, screaming banshee.

Be sure to check in with us tomorrow when we turn over Mommybloggers.com to the always entertaining Karen Rani.

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

The following essay was written especially for Mommybloggers by Kris of WonderMom.

My oldest child, Ben, turns 6 years old in two weeks. Six! I can't believe how big he's gotten, and how smart. He knows, for instance, that girls wear lipstick but boys don't (usually), the best guns shoot blades (sharp ones), and if he climbs up the shelves to steal candy one more time today, mommy's head will pop off (he's seen it happen).

So what have I learned in the past six years? I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. My youngest, Ava, is 10 month old, so I've got at least 17 more years of hardcore parental schooling ahead of me to figure it all out. For now, though, just as Ben's still a small boy, in many ways, I'm still a green mom.

Except with the baby. This is my third time mothering a baby and I have to say, I have changed a lot in six years. I may not be smarter but, in many situations, I seem to have gained some perspective.

Situation: Sun shines in the baby's face.

Then: Panic. Immediately do anything necessary to stop said sun from accosting my baby's eyeballs further, including throwing myself on top of her; covering her stroller in a large blanket turning it into a traveling, sweltering tent; or pinning blankets over the car windows.

Now: See that she has tightly closed her eyes and feel proud that she's learned to work her eyelids.

Situation: Nap time.

Then: Become a Nap Nazi, ensuring total silence throughout the house and, in fact, the neighborhood. Refuse to close kitchen cabinets, hurl myself on the ringing telephone, contact the neighbor to request that her son not play basketball between 1 and 4 pm, and knock on the window of any parked car playing loud music within 200 yards of my house. (One woman was so mortified that she brought me flowers the next day.)

Now: Find myself putting her clothes away while she sleeps two feet away in her crib. Forget where I am and yell to the boys while still in her room, so that she startles awake and emits screams of sheer terror.

Situation: Fussy baby.

Then: Carry him all over the house, in the sling, on my hip, in the Baby Bjorn, even if that means the laundry doesn't get done and dinner doesn't get cooked.

Now: Well, I still do that. Although I put her down long enough to make PB&Js for the boys and wash a load of urine-soaked bed sheets.

Situation: I'm in the bathroom, and the baby starts crying in the other room.

Then: Wipe as fast as I can and run to her, buttoning my pants on the way.

Now: Finish up, wash my hands, dry them, check myself in the mirror, pull squash out of my eyebrow. Go see why she's crying.

Situation: Mealtime.

Then: Steam and mill each entree by hand. At least three times a day, get down on my hands and knees to clean every crumb off the floor and wipe every speck of sludge off the high chair.

Now: Clean the floor once a day. However, sometimes I forget and realize I could feed a small village, or an army of 12 billion ants, with the contents of my dining room floor. The high chair? When we took it out of the basement for baby No. 3, it had food on it from baby No. 2. What does that tell you about how it looks right this minute?

Situation: Separation anxiety.

Then: Feel happy that my baby loves me the best. Buy into the Dr. Sears' claims and carry him everywhere, leaving him when necessary with my mother. When Brian and I go to the movies, have palpable anxiety over his well-being and struggle to not call my mother for the eighth time in two hours.

Now: Feel a twinge of fear when I see that my baby loves me best. Remember how Dr. Sears' betrayed my trust. Leave the baby with trusted friends and family at every opportunity. Realize six hours into a date with my husband that I forgot to leave any expressed milk behind. Oops!

Situation: Brian and I relax while watching some prime time television. The baby's shrieks come piercing through the monitor.

Then: Feel my blood pressure rise as I climb the stairs. Pick the baby up and pace the floor, singing, rocking and eventually, always, nursing.

Now: Brian's blood pressure rises as he runs upstairs. I get myself a beer and sprawl out on the couch with the newspaper or Tivo remote. Reaching my arm over to the coffee table, I nudge the volume down on the monitor.

Posted by mommybloggers at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Today at Mommybloggers, we are thrilled to bring you the amazing WonderMom. Kris is one of those bloggers you come across and you feel as if you have met a true friend. She is open and honest as she shares her stories in a way that her readers feel as if they are sitting down with her sharing a cup of coffee and listening to a good friend tell them about her life. We love the way Kris has of taking anything life hands her and showing the positve side of it. She writes the type of blog that is uplifting simply because of the amazing personality of its author. Kris is the real deal and one of the many reasons we love reading her. (Not to mention her generosity in her giveaways!)

It was no surprise to us that her readers had no problem coming to us with praise for this wonderful blogger, WonderMom.

Devra Renner, of Parentopia and Co-author "Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most and Raise Happier Kids" was more than thrilled to share with us why she is so enamored of Kris:

What we love about Kris's blog is her positive attitude about life. Even when she is talking about stuff that is upsetting or annoying, she still gives her blog a positive, but not Pollyanna, voice. I read her blog and want to support it because Kris personifies the many of the principles of the Mommy Guilt-free philosophy! Yay Kris!

Julie of Mothergoosemouse was thrilled to share with us why she adores Kris so much. Even as a newer reader to Kris' blog, you can see why her admiration is building:

I'm one of Kris's newest readers, and I'm kicking myself for having not found her sooner. She's an honest, straightforward writer who also sings the praises of others. She's helping create a true community in the blogosphere.

Lucinda of Suburban Turmoil, never at a loss for words, sums up eagerly why she so enjoys the writings that Kris has on her blog and was more than happy to share with us why she is a loyal reader of Kris' (even if she is envious of the free loot she receives):

Kris's writing voice is like the calm in the mommyblogging storm. She has a peace about her that really shines through in her writing- and I can't believe she has anything resembling peace with three young children to care for! Kris also impresses me with her knowledge of current events and her ability to get free stuff. I am green with Kris-envy!

Stacy Quarty totally admires Kris and her ability to keep it real and let us know we are not alone out there. She was thrilled to share a few words of praise with us about the amazing WonderMom:

You’d think to read one person’s minute-by-minute journal of a day would be quite tedious and boring. Not with Kris. This Wonder Mom’s A Day in My Life post is vivid, quirky and humorous. But most of all, it’s a candid slice of life that most of us (semi-sane) Moms can relate to. Kris, in this and all of her writing, let us know that we’re not alone; we are a kinship of modern moms and we will survive.

Check back later today and read our interview with the incredible Kris of WonderMom!

Posted by mommybloggers at 8:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Thank you for joining us, Lucinda! Tell us, how did you become a blogger?

Lucinda: I actually started my blog without knowing anything that a mommy blogging community existed. About a year ago, I decided to start using the baby's nap time to work on my writing. I liked the idea of an online journal that anyone could read and comment on, so I created a Blogger account, thought up the name "Suburban Turmoil," and started posting.

For the first three months, I didn't tell anyone in my real life about my blog and had only about five loyal readers. Very slowly, I started discovering other bloggers and gaining a small readership myself. Eventually, I had to tell my husband about the blog because I wanted to hire a blog designer. He was pretty shocked that I had been blogging for months without his knowledge.

Mommybloggers: You write under the assumed name Lucinda Ferrara, which we just love. You also don't reveal your family's names, preferring to use nicknames. Does this allow you to discuss subjects that you would otherwise avoid? How much of yourself do you put out there?

Lucinda: This is an interesting issue for me right now, because I'm working out the details of a project that would require me to use my real name on my blog. In the beginning, the idea would have horrified me- I was convinced that if the other moms in town knew about the "real" me, they would show up at my house in a mob with clubs and pitchforks.

I've had such overwhelming support from moms online, though, that I've slowly been telling more and more "real life" people about my blog and so far, I haven't lost any friends over it. I'm finding that there's an enormous freedom in "exposing" my blog to people I know. I'm sure I will get some criticism from the community if I use my real name, but then again, why would I want to spend time and energy on people who wouldn't like me if they really knew what I was thinking, anyway?

My close friends would tell you that my blog is all me. I am in real life who I am on my blog- "Only you're funnier on your blog," my husband would probably say! However, I'm careful not to write anything that would hurt my daughters or my husband. I don't really believe in airing my dirty laundry online; I save that for e-mails!

Mommybloggers: As a full-time stepmom to two teenaged girls and mom to a toddler, you find time to juggle your writing with the kids' schedules, and manage to have dates with your spouse. What's your secret for keeping your sense of humor?

Lucinda: I am very lucky because my daughter still sleeps 2-3 hours every day while my stepdaughters are at school and that is my writing time. Period. If people call me during that time, I tell them I'm writing and hang up!

I am also very lucky that my stepdaughters are of babysitting age and constantly in need of money. My husband and I get in a date night about once a week. We also go on a weeklong honeymoon once a year when the girls visit their mom. We take the baby to stay with my parents. It has been wonderful for my marriage.

As for my sense of humor, I quickly discovered that writing funny posts makes me feel better about my life in general. Through blogging, I've begun looking for funny and quirky things about my everyday life, rather than slogging along like so many others in a gray, suburban existence. My outlook has vastly improved.

Mommybloggers: Your writing can be found all over the web - at DotMoms, Mamazine.com , The Whole Mom, Mothers Movement Online and you've graced Mommybloggers.com with your hilarious story "Star Cross'd" - is there an art to getting your work out there?

Lucinda: Well, before I started my blog, I was submitting my writing to publications and getting rejection letter after rejection letter. My blog has been my golden ticket to getting published. I guess editors look at it and think, "Well, somebody's reading her, so I guess I'll give her a try..."

Mommybloggers: You're an Emmy Award-winning former television journalist - any regrets about walking away from your star-studded career?

Lucinda: No, no no no no no! Celebrity is not all it's cracked up to be. Anchoring the news got mind-numbingly dull and as a reporter, I never knew when I'd be assigned to go knock on the door of someone who'd lost a husband/child in a tragic accident/murder and ask "How are you feeling right now?" and "Would you talk to me about it on camera?" I had enormous ethical dilemmas about that kind of thing. Beyond that, I felt I had proven myself in TV news and was very happy to leave that career behind.

Mommybloggers: Dish with us - celebrities, rock stars...you've had the opportunity to meet a lot of famous people. What has been your favorite encounter?

Lucinda: I live in Nashville, so I've interviewed nearly every country music singer out there. I know things that would make your hair curl...

The people who were nicest aren't necessarily the most famous- the author Nicholas Sparks, Dolly Parton and singer/songwriter Rodney Crowell stand out. And I love interviewing country singer Blake Shelton- He just cracks me up. Most of you probably don't even know who he is.

The most difficult interview? I spent five hours grilling Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn about every detail of their lives for a biography program. Five hours, people. And some of the stuff was really uncomfortable to talk about. After that interview, I figured I could do anything!

Mommybloggers: You mention in your 100 things that you've sang on British Radio, and at Westminster Abbey, and yet you haven't graced the public with your dulcet voice since your 23rd birthday. What the heck happened at that party? Did you get injured crowd surfing?

Lucinda: Ha ha! No! I just went in a different direction and now, I'm so rusty, I'd be embarrassed to sing in front of anyone but my daughter. My last public performance occured when I took the microphone from the singer of a small jazz ensemble at a ritzy nightclub and performed for the crowd. My girlfriends had taken me out for a night on the town and I was showing off. I'm a closet Cole Porter junkie- I know the words to most of his songs.

Mommybloggers: We saw your three-way with upcoming Mommybloggers featured guests Susie Sunshine and Lisa of Niihaus. How has the internet affected your social circle?

Lucinda: Until I met Busy Mom in person (she lives about five minutes away), I worried about meeting bloggers or talking to them on the phone. But when Busy Mom and I get together, we never run out of things to talk about. It's been the same way on the phone. I think I could've easily pulled an all-nighter with Susie Sunshine and Lisa if I hadn't had to put the baby to bed. Tuesday night, I talked to MommaK for an hour and it was just wonderful. She's a fellow stepmom/mom and she totally gets it.

I have a good amount of friends here in town (most of whom don't know about the blog) and more friends I keep up with in my hometown (who do know about the blog). My blogging girlfriends are becoming another cool social circle for me. I'd really love to get together with them one weekend for a girls' trip. We'd have a blast!

Mommybloggers: We're still hoping to talk you all into joining us at BlogHer this year. It's not like it's a cult or anything.

Lucinda: Oh yeah, I know. I would be there in a heartbeat if I had the cash. I should hold a carwash or something!

Mommybloggers: Tell us about this Brady Bunch fixation you have.

Lucinda: Man, you really did your research!

I've always had a thing for the Bradys. When I was in high school, a crazy friend and I would call each other on the phone after school when The Brady Bunch came on and watch it together, discussing each scene and laughing hysterically. It's funny- I haven't seen my friend in years, but he reads my blog and is probably reading this right now.

Mommybloggers: We've howled our way through your hilarious posts about potty training. We've been there, or we'll be there soon. How's that potty doll working out for you?

Lucinda: Little Miss Piss? Oh, she's doing very well, thanks for asking. Only now, Baby has graduated to watching me pee. She stands right in front of me when I'm in the bathroom, points, laughs and says "I likes! I likes!" Another thing they never told me about being a mother...

Mommybloggers: Along with MommaK, you've founded a monthly award called "The Perfect Post" - given by bloggers to bloggers. What was your inspiration? Can anyone participate?

Lucinda: I had been thinking about the concept for a long time- I've always thought that amazing posts deserved some kind of award or extra recognition. I mentioned it to MommaK and we worked out the details. She makes a button each month that winners can put on their site and a few days before the awards, we e-mail it to all the awarders to give to whomever they choose and we link the awarders and awardees on our sites.

It has really taken off and I just love doing it. Everybody feels good, anybody can participate, and I have been introduced to so many great writers as a result.

So if you're reading this and you want to give out a Perfect Post Award next month, e-mail me at lucindathemom@yahoo.com and I'll add you to the mailing list.

Mommybloggers: What else is in the works for you? Movies? Meet-ups with celebrities?

Lucinda: Well, there's the aforementioned Big Project that will probably change my life if it all works out (and not so much in a win-the-lottery way as in a no-turning-back-you're-a-kinda-snarky-writer-and-now-everyone-on-your-street-knows-it way). So keep your fingers crossed.

And I'm also working on a little somethin' with Susie Sunshine, Lisa of Niihaus, MommaK and a few other lovely ladies. That's going to start up soon if all goes well.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Mommy. I love hearing my daughter say "Mommy." Unless it's attached to "I have a poo poo."

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Poo poo (see above).

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

I'm not very good at the censorship thing. But I'm getting there, so curse words are turning into whatever I can come up with at the last minute.

Fu-ddy duddy!
Bi-scuit eater!
Shi-boygan!

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

There isn't one. My husband comes and finds me no matter what. I've told him a few times that I really wish I still had my own bedroom- just to have a place to go and be alone during the day and look at my Ricky Schroeder posters on the ceiling...

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The liquor cabinet? Just kidding!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Lucinda, I laughed my ass off reading your blog! Can I link to you?

We hope you've enjoyed our chat with Lucinda - be sure to check back tomorrow as we feature a guest entry by the hilarious Lucinda of Suburban Turmoil.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Every once in a while you stumble across a blogger that makes you sit up and pay attention. When we first found Suburban Turmoil, we ended up spitting our coffee at the monitor as we laughed at her wit. We love Lucinda's ability to take the mundane and present it with panache. Day after day, Lucinda brings well-written stories to her fans, making Suburban Turmoil a daily must-read.

We put out a call to some of her readers, and we weren't surprised by the flood of humorous praise we received. Lucinda is one admired writer - take a look:

Susie Sunshine, who knows a little something about fantastic writing herself, had this little tidbit to share:

Here's a little secret about Lucinda -she's not real.
She's actually a computer program created from a partnership between Martha Stewart and the Comedy Channel trying to break into the world of mommy bloggers.

Seriously, do you know any other blogger who reads and comments on so many blogs daily, prepares lovely dinners (with an attached blog of recipes! Martha didn't even TRY to cover her tracks with that one!), all while making with the funny from daily drudgery (forgotten bottles in a diaper bag, bikini waxes, carpool duties)?! This data is entered into a special program and perfect posts pop out like a turkey timer every day.

Gorgeous "Baby" is actually a photo-shopped composite of infant features voted "most adorable" by readers of People magazine. Realizing the spending power of blended families, two step-daughters were added. Celebrity functions and an Emmy were inserted to give housewives backstage passes to the entertainment world, while the lovely "Perfect Post" award was created to highlight other bloggers (sharing the spotlight, a trick Martha learned while incarcerated).

It took a computer program to do it, but they finally managed to turn Martha Stewart into a humorous, enjoyable human being. I'd have drinks with "Lucinda" any time!

Chris was won over, despite her loss:

Oh what to say about Lucinda. I have loved her ever since she said I had stripper sized boobs. Because no one has ever said that about me before.

I first discovered her blog when we were both nominated for the BOB award for mommy blog and she stole it out from under me won it. Not that I am bitter or anything. (I am joking by the way, she deserved the win)

I immediately fell in love with her sarcasm and sense of humor. I admire the way that she writes about her older step daughters, keeping it real, but not crossing that privacy line. It's a tough one I think.

When I click over to her blog I never know what she will be writing about. I do know, however that it will be good. She is an incredible writer who moves effortlessly between writing stories about her kids, husband, and personal hair removal to posts which are original and creative, like Wednesday's post which was supposed to be an internal memo about changes to the book What to Expect Toddler Years.

Anyone who isn't reading her, should run over there and read, right now.

Co-conspirator MommaK had this to say about the lovely Lucinda:

If I could describe who Lucinda is to me, I'd have to say that she's like the sorority sister I never had. Actually we are sisters - blog bitch sisters (but that's a story I'll never tell). Along with being my co-host for the monthly Perfect Post Awards, she is a brilliant writer, excellent chef, wonderful mother & wife and a very good friend. She is a rising star in this here blogosphere and with all that talent, she's headed to the top of the heap.

One day Lucinda and I will party like rock stars, stumble around in heels too high and glasses too full - and hopefully take lots of pictures. However, we will not get sick in the limo (hear that L??). Until then we'll just blog our butts off and then some.

Lucinda is awesome - just awesome. What else can I say?

Kristen Chase gets right to the eyebrows:

I'm pretty sure everyone is going to say how great a writer Lucinda is, or how funny and witty her posts are, or how she is, as I coined, the Queen Dialogga-Blogga, so I'm going to be totally superficial and gush about her perfect eyebrows. They are amazing.

But seriously, her writing style and unique viewpoint as a new mom/stepmom attracts a variety of readers, moms and not-so-moms alike. And for good reason. She's versatile, intriguing, and eloquent. And as a new blogger and writer, she has been genorous and supportive.

Now back to plucking...

Karen Rani of Troll Baby was happy to share the love:

Lucinda's blog is on my daily reads. She is insightful, hilarious and I love the interesting stories she tells. Her creativity is unique and I really enjoy every single post. The Perfect Post awards that she does with Momm K of Petroville has brought new blogs to my favorites and was one more of her fantastic ideas. I know Lucinda will go places with her writing. Talent city.

Check back later today to read our interview with the amazing Lucinda of Suburban Turmoil!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 6:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

The following essay has been written especially for Mommybloggers by our featured guest, Kristen Chase.

I never thought that I was the mothering type. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I loved kids. But so does everyone when you can return them back to their parents before all hell breaks loose. I’m not sure if it was the fear that I’d turn out like my parents, or because I thought that maybe I wasn’t cut out for what I imagined mothering would be. But either way, I had determined that my caretaking skills were put to their best use with my two rotten puppies, and I was fine.

Then I got pregnant.

I was fairly certain that I was probably going to be the most ill prepared mother. I had never ever held a newborn baby or even seen one outside of “A Baby Story,” and I was quite (and perhaps oddly) attached to my low cut jeans and high heels. But, I did what all mothers do, and I worried more about pooping on the delivery table and how to politely tell the doctor not to slice my perineum than I did about the actual mothering part.

So, when my daughter appeared in my arms, I felt a sense of accomplishment, as not only had I birthed a beautiful baby girl, but I had avoided the dreaded poop and snip. However, that’s about ALL that I had avoided. I realized all too quickly that my silly worries about enemas and shaves were the least of my concerns. Prayers to the sleep gods? Scabby Nipples? Green sludgelike Poop? Feeling older than Joan Rivers really is? No one prepared me for this.

But, as it turns out, I was wrong. It’s funny how the world has a way of enlightening you in the most mysterious of ways. See. I was a college music professor. And I soon realized that all the baby books in the world could not have prepared me better than my first college music class.

I’m pretty sure that listening to 15 presentations on “Why Rascal Flatts is the coolest band ever like because they are so rocking and like so cute and really cool” will prepare anyone for the sleepless nights with a screaming baby. In fact, I’d probably take the screaming baby because at least I can stick my boob in his mouth to get him to stop.

I hate to compare breastfeeding poop with bad writing, mainly because I don’t want to insult the poop, however, after reading some of the worst writing about “that Mozart dude” and “the coolest deaf guy who wrote songs,” I’m thinking that closely examining my daughter’s poop was nothing.

And scabby nipples are easy compared to the pain I experienced teaching voice class to a group of non-music majors. Not only do I never want to hear “Yesterday” ever again, but I’ve decided that listening to a recording of my class would be way better prep for the pain of breastfeeding than the “toughening of the nipples” rituals that some mothers endure.

But I think the worst thing is how having a child has aged me. I look back at pictures from just three years ago and I’m pretty sure I could pass for my own aunt right now. However, my rapidly wrinkling mug is no comparison to having an entire class of students tell me they have never heard of Billy Joel. Not.one.Ever.

So, I guess I was cut out for motherhood. Sure I struggled, stressed, and cried. But I have also laughed, rejoiced, and smiled more than in the past two years than in my whole entire life. However, now that I’ve taken on a new career of writing and blogging, I’m afraid to think about what the world is preparing me for as my daughter gets older. Maybe the spammers and trolls are getting me ready for the teenage years. I guess when I hear “You suck” or “I hate you,” I can tell her “Well, honey, it’s not like I haven’t heard that before.”

For more writing by Kristen, be sure to visit her at her personal blog Motherhood Uncensored and the fun Cool Mom Picks.

Posted by mommybloggers at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

The following essay was written by Julie (a.k.a. everyday Supergoddess) of wanna-cookie.blogspot.com:

As both of my daughters (the “Demigoddesses,” for those of you who may not already know) have transitioned from grade school to junior high, their interests have migrated away from their old playroom to the rooms where the computer and the TV and the telephone reside. Earrings and lip gloss and portable CD players have become more interesting to them than Legos and Beanie Babies, so their old play area doesn’t see much action any more. But knowing we’d need some extra floor space to accommodate Demigoddess the Younger’s upcoming sleepover birthday party, time seemed right to do some tidying in there.

I had placed Demi the Younger in charge of cleaning up before her party, but after spending a hour a day for a week and a half working on it, she hadn't made much progress. I knew that if it was going to get done, I was going to have to step in. Assuming that the job would take me all of a weekend, and probably part of a second one as well, one Saturday morning I got up early and dug in. After a little while, Demigoddess the Younger joined me, and Demigoddess the Elder followed a little while after that.

Cleaning and organizing that playroom is a task I have performed hundreds, if not thousands, of times in the past. Over and over, again and again, I sorted the same toys into the same buckets and plastic bins, only to find the room, within a day or two, returned to post-nuclear-explosion chaos, six inches deep from wall to wall. This time through, though, as I picked through the Barbie shoes and the Polly Pocket clothes, separating the Betty Spaghetti pieces from the PowerPuff Girls accessories, it occurred to me that it could very well be for the last time.

Together, the three of us filled garbage bag after garbage bag with old school papers, Happy Meal toys and dried out markers. I threw out little hair clips and plastic necklaces, two broken Barbie cars (one of which no longer had wheels), and the remnants of countless half-finished craft projects (the beads… my God the BEADS).

Our chore became a bittersweet archeological expedition, as I unearthed a little pair of battered Reeboks, white with purple trim, that still showed evidence of having been chewed by our first puppy. I think Demigoddess the Younger wore them in the first grade. We found a photo of Demigoddess the Elder posed with her kindergarten teacher, and we found the doll she took with her to the hospital when she was three. Even though the doll’s hair is now a ratted mess, and her dress and cloth body are stained beyond help, I couldn’t bring myself to throw that one out.

In the past, the younger Demi would weep and wail and gnash her teeth over every item I put into the trash. But on this day, she cheerfully tossed out her old playthings, or volunteered to set them aside for Maggie, my niece. The elder Demi, who could previously be counted on to become distracted and start playing with every third item she touched, moved efficiently through her side of the room, putting things on shelves and filling her own garbage bag. There was no yelling. There was no drama. For the millionth time, I realized wistfully that the children who had once treasured this voluminous accumulation of stuff no longer live in my house. Somehow, they disappeared right out from under my nose.

We had already cleared a large portion of the room when I came across a little pair of satiny pink dolly underpants.

“Look,” I said, holding them up. “Somebody’s dolly has lost her undies.”

“Not mine,” answered Demigoddess the Younger. “My dolly doesn’t wear undies.”

“Well,” I said, “Your dolly is a ho.”

Demigoddess the Elder added, “Yeah, your dolly doesn’t even know who her baby daddy is.”

It’s been a long time since anybody made me laugh to the point of tears. As I sat surrounded by their old playthings, wiping my eyes and trying to breathe, it occurred to me that back in the days when I cleaned this room on a more regular basis, those are words I never would have imagined I’d hear coming out of my daughter’s mouth. It also occurred to me that I need to do a better job of monitoring what they’re watching on TV.

Together we plowed through the clutter in record time. By late Saturday afternoon, we had cleared ample space for the sleepover. We’d still need to vacuum the carpet and clean the adjacent bathroom before the party, but we had done enough for one day. As a reward for all their hard work, I treated the Demigoddesses to a PG-13 movie and dinner at Chipotle.

I’ll always miss my messy little girls. I’ll even miss their piles of childhood crap. But these two young women I live with now, they get more perplexing and challenging and funny, more amazingly marvelous, every day.

For any of you parents of young children, my best bit of parenting advice?

Don't blink.

Posted by Meghan Townsend at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Hi Julie, the mommybloggers love your site wanna-cookie.blogspot.com. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to us! Tell us about how long you have been writing and where the name of your blog came from.

Julie: I’ve been writing all my life. I journaled like a maniac from junior high through college. I never considered blogging until last summer, but it has proved to be a medium that works really well for me.

“I Want A Cookie” is the name of a song by a band called Evolution Control Committee. Basically it’s an audio sample from an anger management seminar set to very loud techno music, with a screaming voice in the background. The first words of the song are a woman’s voice asking, “Do you ever feel angry? Are you paralyzed by your anger?” At the time, my friend Liz, a.k.a. CombatGirl, and I were both dealing with troubled marriages. She played it for me because she knew I’d immediately understand why she found it so hilarious. She was right.

The original idea behind the blog was that she and I would do it together, as a back-and-forth sort of forum to vent about the insanity of dealing with our respective (by that time) ex-husbands. The title from that song seemed like the perfect name. For a variety of reasons, I ended up doing most of the posting, and now she’s in the process of developing her own blog. We’re totally still friends, though.

Mommybloggers:Julie, tell us a little bit about yourself. What kind of a kid were you? We mean, besides the kind of kid that cut off your sister Meghan’s Barbie-doll’s hair and then told her it would grow back? And we will definitely not talk about the time you rubbed her face into the sidewalk while she cried and cried. Or took all the cool stuff to collect (like horses) leaving Meghan with the lamest seashell collection imaginable. Those tidbits will DEFINITELY remain between us and you.

Julie: Well, I’ll tell you. I was the oldest of four girls in our family, and having to share a bedroom (and pretty much everything else) with a number two child who was very loud, very messy, and who demanded the majority of our harried parents’ attention, was often very, very lonely. Especially when that number two child was the sort of child would rip all the pages out of her older sister’s journals, and would allow her friend Janna to eat all of the Valentine’s Day candy that her elder sister had received as a gift from her boyfriend.

It was very trying, and I still have a few self esteem and rage issues to work out, but I think I’ve overcome a lot to become the highly-evolved human being I am today.

Mommybloggers:Thanks for the warning. The Mommybloggers will be sure to hide their candy from their fellow mommyblogger Meghan. And we will give her a very stern talking-to. Sheesh.
You are a single mother, and you handle single motherhood with grace, dignity, aplomb, and the occasional justified rant. What do you see as the biggest challenges of single parenthood today?

Julie: I think my kids would have something to say about whether or not I’ve handled anything with “grace,” “dignity” and “aplomb.”

But managing all the details is probably the biggest challenge right now. My kids are at an age when they’re involved in a lot of activities, and their social lives are becoming busier and more important to them. Trying to remember who needs to be where and when, and making sure everything happens on schedule, can be really overwhelming for a single parent.

Mommybloggers:What are the biggest rewards?

Julie: Just last night all three of us were in my bed, saying goodnight before the DemiGoddesses went to their own beds. My younger daughter (Demigoddess the Younger) said something like, “isn’t it cool that we’re friends?” And it’s really true. There have been times when it’s felt like the three of us against the world, and although there have been some real struggles, we have a bond now that I don’t think would have happened otherwise.

Mommybloggers:Your daughters are fantastic and wonderfully talented and well-adjusted. And smart and funny and beautiful. How did their Aunt Meghan have such a powerful impact on them?

Julie: Their who now?

All three of my sisters have been fantastic influences on my girls. They’re all incredibly smart, funny, independent women, each with her own unique sense of style and on her own path in life. I’m so proud that the DemiGoddesses have such solid role models.

Even though I am, technically speaking, a single parent, I always know that my sisters have my back. I’ve told my daughters on more than one occasion that if there is ever anything they need help with, but for whatever reason they don’t want to talk to me about it, they can go to any one of their aunts in confidence. And my sisters know they have my permission to not to tell me.

Mommybloggers:But seriously though, your daughters are phenomenal. What is your secret?

Julie: I don’t have a secret. Someone who didn’t have a lot of experience with kids once asked me for advice on how to interact with children. I said, “Listen when they talk. Look them in the eye when you talk to them. Be willing to act silly. Don’t make them do tricks or otherwise treat them like pets.” That’s pretty much been my parenting philosophy, and it seems to be working out so far.

Mommybloggers:Your writing is often very personal, and also very moving which we love. What kinds of things inspire you to write?

Julie: Usually it starts with a feeling. Something will impact me emotionally—by making me laugh, or pissing me off, or, sometimes, by making me cry. It might be something huge, but more often, it’s some little everyday thing that just hits me. I’ve learned that, when those things happen, it’s important to take a minute to enjoy the experience, and then to think about why that particular thing struck me the way it did. Most of my writing evolves out of those moments.

Mommybloggers:What is next for Julie the writer?

Who knows. For now, I’ll be happy if I can think of something halfway interesting to blog about tomorrow.

Mommybloggers:Back to the family. Julie, you have three sisters. Which one is your favorite and why?

Julie: Hah. Nice try, Meghan.

Mommybloggers:Julie, your daughters are in the teen and pre-teen years. How do you decide how much to reveal about them on your blog? How much say do they have in what gets published? Do the demigoddesses read your blog?

Julie: They do read it. I try to be respectful about what I put out there about them, and about the people they care about, too. But there have been times when they’ve been upset by things I’ve written. They’re not afraid to speak up when they think I’ve written something inappropriate, and we’ve talked about the things that upset them.

Lately when she’s done something that she thinks may have particularly annoyed me, DemiGoddess the younger has become fond of saying, “Blog about THAT!” To which I usually reply, “I already DID!” Sometimes it’s true.

I remember hearing Nora Ephron once talk about what a torment her writer parents were, because everything she said or did growing up became their material. So I try not to write anything that will be really embarrassing for them. But some things are just too good not to share.

Mommybloggers:Do you consider yourself a mommyblogger? What is your take on the term?

Julie: I myself went from being “Mommy” to “Mom” a while ago now. As I said before on my blog, I feel more like a “HeyMomINeedSomeMoneyAndI’mLateForGirlScoutsAndOhByTheWayIHave HeadliceBlogger.”

As far as the term itself, I don’t know. I think it’s very easy to pigeonhole a whole group of people by putting that kind of label on them. In reality, the “mommybloggers” I know of are a very diverse array of individuals, with widely differing writing styles and points of view. I guess my first instinct is to resist lumping them all into a single category, simply because they happen to have children AND sometimes write about them.

Mommybloggers:How has writing changed your life and the way you interact with the world?

Julie: Writing has always been a very important tool for me to work through things. The process of putting events and thoughts and feelings into words really forces me to look at them from all angles, which usually leads to a level of understanding that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

But it’s never easy. And trying to blog every day is a constant challenge. Every time I manage to put together something that I like, right after I hit that “publish post” button, I think, “Hah! Fooled ‘em again! But that is the absolute end of my abilities, and I will never have another interesting thing to say, ever again.”

Blogging has forced me to keep my eyes constantly open for those little moments to write about, which means I pay a lot more attention to everything now than I used to. And really, that is such a gift.

Mommybloggers: Julie, thank you for talking with us, and thank you for continuing to put out writing that moves us and makes us think and also makes us laugh.

Mommybloggers:And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?
Bedtime
2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
Headlice
3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
Wait, you’re not supposed to curse in front of the children? Oh. Fuck.
4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
I don’t really have to hide any more. They’ve been well trained to know that, when I’m in my bedroom and the door is closed, they risk life and limb if they come within three feet of that door.
5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
In the basement, folding laundry.
6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?
Enjoy your FREE CAR! WOOHOO!
Thanks Oprah!

Posted by mommybloggers at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

We all like to think we have a little Every day Supergoddess in us, but this week's featured blogger is the original. The mommybloggers are pleased to present to you Julie, otherwise known as Everyday Supergoddess from the Blog wanna-cookie.

Julie personifies what an everyday supergoddess is all about. She is a phenomenal writer. She works full time. She is a homeowner. She is a single mother to two spectacularly intelligent and precocious pre-teen and teen young women. She has courageously battled head lice, divorce, home repairs, and financial strife. Oh, and did I mention dating? How about Baseball? Because this supergoddess KNOWS baseball. She fights the good fight every day with grace, sensitivity, introspection and humor. Fortunately for us, she shares her highs and lows with her readers. Beautifully. She is truly a goddess.

Here is what a few of Julie's readers have to say about her:

Madge has this to say about Julie:

The way Julie writes about her daughters is what keeps me coming back. She treats them with the perfect mix of respect and admiration. It's clear that, in spite of the raw deal they were dealt in a father, Julie is helping these girls become amazing young women.

That and her crazy baseball fanaticism. Sorry, TWINS! baseball fanatics

Dawn is similarly impressed with Julie's abilities:

Any woman who can handle head lice and not lose her mind has my undying affection and admiration!

Julie sings the praises of her name-sake:

I found Julie through Meghan, and Julie is one more reason why I want to be an adopted sister of theirs. I'd even change my name. Julie truly is a super goddess and a role model for her demigoddesses.

Mary loves both the every day and the supergoddess:

"Julie's screen name "EverydaySuperGoddess" pretty much sums up what this wonderful woman is all about. She works. She loves her kids. She knows how to wield a head lice comb. She has a house that sometimes needs fixing. She understands the joy of finding an underground parking space at the mall. She's normal. And she's extraordinary. Just like the rest of us.

And I don't care where you live, if you aren't loving baseball and rooting for the Twins after reading her blog, you've got no heart."

We are honored to feature Julie this week at Mommybloggers. Stay tuned for our interview with Everyday Supergoddess later today. And be sure to check back tomorrow as we turn over Mommybloggers to the fantastic Julie!

Posted by mommybloggers at 3:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Donna, you have been in the creative field, specifically writing, pretty much from the time you were a child. Did you always know you wanted to write? How did you start out writing?

Donna: I began writing little plays in grade school and directed my friends in them during recess. I probably did this because I sucked at sports, so that was a lot more fun for me than sitting on the sidelines because I was the first person out in Dodgeball or something.

But writing was just one of the things I used to do for fun – and it’s always been the way I best expressed myself. I don’t think I consciously thought, “Oh, I’m going to grow up and be a writer.” But I guess it was a foregone conclusion for everyone else, beginning with my second grade teacher, who wrote in my autograph book that she hoped to see my plays on Broadway some day.

The turning point was in college, when I had an instructor who gave us a choice of multiple choice or essay questions on mid-terms. It didn’t take me long to realize that I could bullshit my way to an A with an essay way just by writing A LOT about what I did know while avoiding the topics I was fuzzy about. I concluded that writing would be an easy way to earn a living. (Ha ha.)

Mommybloggers: You also write for Dot Moms. Regarding motherhood, what issues do you find yourself drawn to write about?

Donna: That’s a good question. I’m one of their newer contributors and have not yet established a pattern. I started out just riffing about how it feels to be 10 or 20 years older than the other moms I meet, but that got kind of depressing and Julie at DotMoms wants the posts to be upbeat. So then I got into the whole sports mom thing (my daughter is a competitive gymnast), but that’s kind of a narrow topic.

The posts I’ve liked best have come out of random thoughts I’ve had while just going about my day – like the time I brought my daughter to a swimming party and discovered that no adults were actively watching the kids. Or how much I hate housework. Or what I think about when standing in the checkout line at the supermarket.

Mommybloggers: The term "mommyblogger". Empowering, or hand me a trash bin, the word makes me queasy?

Donna: I personally like the term and enjoy reading the blogs of people who see the humor in raising a family in the 21st century.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a little bit about where you grew up, and what you were like as a kid.

Donna: I was born in Los Angeles in 1956 and have lived in the San Fernando Valley (“America’s Suburb”) pretty much continuously since 1963.

I was something of a know-it-all and was miserable for most of my childhood because I hadn’t any friends. So by the time I was in high school, I was the geek of all geeks.

I think this is why I devote so much of my time to being my daughter’s social director, driving her from one after-school activity to another. (Less of that since she made her gymnastics team – now it’s mostly just driving her to the gym where she works out for 16 hours a week.)

Mommybloggers: You spent some time writing about music and interviewing musicians in the rock/pop industry. What is that like? Was it as wild as we imagine it would be?

Donna: I was a writer for “The Weekly Top 30,” a three-hour radio show that was syndicated nationally to 300 stations as well as on Armed Forces Radio. I went on to produce a show that was almost exactly like it, but with a different host and specifically for the RKO Radio Network.

It was my first full time job out of college. It wasn’t glamorous (our offices were above a Chinese restaurant in Canoga Park) and paid next to nothing, but had fabulous perks like free records and concert tickets, plus the opportunity to meet some very interesting people.

This was in the early 80’s, so I missed the truly wild times of the 1970’s. I’m not saying shit didn’t happen – but I hadn’t changed all that much from the geek I was in high school, so I wasn’t someone who got to see much of that side of it. I was also pretty naïve – there were guys who did try to hit on me during an interview and most of the time, I didn’t realize it until I thought about it later.

Mommybloggers: Give us some juicy tidbits about some people you interviewed! What would surprise us?

I’m wracking my brain trying to think of something “juicy” or surprising – but coming up blank. Part of the problem is that I got that job 25 years ago and a lot of the people I remember might not be remembered by anyone else. Besides, it’s all a little hazy to me, too!

Feel free to pick and choose from the following:

I mainly remember snippets – that Ringo Starr, Gladys Knight and Bill Wyman were nice. That John Entwistle and Jermaine Jackson were shy and didn’t say much – until I’d the interview was over and the tape recorder was turned off, and that’s when they felt comfortable enough to talk. (What amazed me was that little ol’ geeky ME could make a big rock star nervous, just by the power of holding the mic).

The interview I did with Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue was unusable because they were sitting on a leather couch – so the friction of every movement they made with their leather pants caused an audible squeak on the tape (remember, this was for radio).

The session with the band War (“Lowrider,” “The Cisco Kid”) started out badly. They had been drinking wine all day and by the time I made it to my late afternoon appointment, they were plastered. Their manager was passed out on the couch and their publicist had to back out of the room to avoid having them grab her butt – which scared me because that left me alone with them. But they managed to get their act together well enough to answer my interview questions.

I remember being angry with Stevie Nicks for keeping me waiting 60 minutes after work for a phone interview – but when she finally did call, she was so charming I couldn’t stay mad at her. And I pissed off Lindsey Buckingham (not the same interview) when I made a remark about the Kingston Trio which I’d hoped would be funny but didn’t come out that way (he was a big fan of the folk group – which I knew – and didn’t appreciate what I’d said). That interview went all downhill from there.

Mommybloggers: Okay, thank you for indulging us. We're done now. we promise.
You worked as a writer's assistant on the "Tonight Show". How did you get into television?

Donna: Production jobs are not advertised – producers like to staff their shows with people they know. You find out about job openings through word of mouth – you need to have a network in place.

I did not have that, so after the radio job ended, I signed up with a temp agency that advertised in the back pages of Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. They sent me to studios and production companies and I gradually built up a resume (which included stints on pilots as well as a two-week gig as production assistant on a Playboy home video) and a network of friends – one of whom left her job as writers’ assistant on the Tonight Show to take a gig as production coordinator on a new show called “Roseanne.” She recommended me to the head writer for her job, and I was hired on her word. Oh yeah – they did ask me to come in first and take a “typing test” (I was given something to type and after the first paragraph, they said “Yeah, you can type.” No verification to see how accurate or how many words per minute.)

Mommybloggers: How has the television Sit-com industry changed in the last few years?