The following entry is a best-of from the archives of The Big Yellow House.

I come from a long line of crazy women. Not crazy in an eccentric sort of way. No, I mean crazy in the should-be-strapped-down-to-a-table-and-have-electroshock-therapy kind of way.

Today I joined the illustrious women in my family.

I was at my OBGYN appointment and the doctor asked me how I was, how the post partum depression was. I answered that I was fine. And just to illustrate how fine I was, I burst into tears. I am fine. But I'm not fine.

I'm not angry and crying anymore. I don't walk through the house slamming things down on tables and randomly yelling at innocent people, though that is more a testament to my self control than a lack of desire to do so.

If you were to see me out grocery shopping, I would seem surprisingly normal. I wouldn't yell or make a scene, even if you cut me off with your cart and grabbed the last package of hamburger buns. I might even smile and make a joke about it. But inside I'd want to tear your face off and then stomp on it for good measure.

But I've been told recently that this isn't normal? People always comment to me that I am so "calm" and "peaceful" and "patient" and they want to know my secret. I never know what to say because those words do not describe how I feel. At least not lately.

I don't know how to describe how I feel now, other than a resigned sadness. It's like a aura that hovers in the air around me, almost palpable at times.

The doctor asked me if I had friends that I talked to. She seemed a bit worried when I asked, "Do you mean in real life?" and clarified, "Well Chris, I don't mean imaginary friends."

That made me laugh because I never thought of the people I know via the internet as imaginary per se. But from now on I will, because it makes me seem even crazier. Also, I discovered that hysterically laughing and crying simultaneously at the doctor's office, will make her rip out that script pad faster than the speed of light.

Well that and when she asked me about hobbies and what I like to do in my free time, I didn't want to mention my imaginary friends again or even mention the internet. Because as we all know, nothing screams crazy like "plays on the internet". So I said shopping.

Which would have been a fine answer, I think, except that she asked shopping for what? And I blurted out, "Groceries!" Good God almighty why would I say that.

It's a good thing I didn't mention the internet, because that would have seemed crazy.

**********

After we talked medication,the doctor went to her vast supply closet and pulled out four boxes, four weeks worth of pills. She carried them back into the room and shook one in front of my baby son.

"It's like a little rattle!" she said as she shook it in front of him and tried to hand it to him.

"It's like a little rattle for the babies with crazy mothers" I blurted out, just in case there was any lingering doubt in her mind that I needed those drugs.

But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about what a fabulous idea that would be. Imagine walking through the store and your baby is holding onto his favorite Prozac rattle. Suddenly you come across a cart where he spots a baby just like him shaking a Zoloft rattle. They could exchange knowing glances and smiles.

It would be like a baby secret handshake for, "My mom is nuts, too!"

I think the pharmaceutical companies should take note. There is a vast untapped market out there.

Read more by the lovely Chris at Notes From The Trenches of Motherhood.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Chris, we're so happy that we finally have the chance to interview you. How are things at The Little Yellow House? Er, we mean The Big Yellow House?

Chris: Things are good. The house is still standing and I am still sane... in spite of the best efforts of my sons.

Mommybloggers: Actually, we noticed that you changed your blog name to 'Notes From The Trenches' Why the change?

Chris: Well, when I first started my blog I didn't really give the blog name much thought. I had the blogger page open tried a couple of things that were already taken, truly lame things that, in retrospect, I am so glad were already taken. The Big Yellow House popped into my head. Most likely because one of my children was really into Bear in the Big Blue House and I unconsciously stole the title. But the thing is I never really liked it. It sounds so happy and sunshiny.

My house isn't even really yellow. Shocking, I know. I'll wait while you compose yourself.

So when I decided to move away from blogger and get a domain name, big yellow house in all it's possible forms was already taken. That made the decision easier. I then began the quest for a completely new name.

A lot of people wrote me and told me they were disappointed. I guess they related to me as an owner of a yellow house. A few said that they would not read my blog if I changed the name because notes from the trenches sounded so dark. It was then that I knew I had found the right name.

Mommybloggers: You're an outspoken authority on parenting without perfectionism. You've gone head to head with a number of "Perfect Mothers" in your quest to educate and enlighten today's mothers. Do you feel like your message is getting across?

Chris: Oooooo, I'm an authority... I'd better let my family know.

I never thought about getting a certain message across. Mostly I just try to keep it real and write about how my life really is with my pint sized posse. There are times that I am exasperated, times that they make me laugh, times I want to run away, but there is always the undercurrent of love and awe that I got this lucky in life. I don't deserve it.

Mommybloggers: You've got what, four, no, wait...five, six, seven kids. You've got seven gorgeous kids, and you homeschool, right?

Chris: I know... I lose count sometimes too! Yes I do homeschool.

Mommybloggers: Tell us your secret! We must know!

Chris: Lots of coffee. And lots of duct tape.

Mommybloggers: Oh, um. We meant the secret of how you find time to write.

Chris: See the duct tape answer above.

Mommybloggers: You manage to take the day-to-day events of your life and spin them into hilarious tales. Does your family appreciate how funny you are?

Chris: No, I don't think they do. Though they should, dammitall. Afterall, I am an authority.

Mommybloggers: You also write heartfelt, memorable posts about the milestones in your children's lives, and about your own challenges. How has blogging affected your writing?

Chris: Well, I finally feel like I am accomplishing something tangible. My blog stands as record of my days as a mother of young, and not so young, children. I think that is what is so appealing to mothers about this sort of writing. Writing about our individual experiences in motherhood legitimizes it, gives it value. Not that it doesn't have an intrinsic value, it does, but blogging is a way to add to the collective voice. It says, "This is important work." In my real life, days will go by without me having an interesting conversation with another adult.

Also, there is something fulfilling about writing that if I have to put on another puppet show out of toilet paper tubes for my potty training daughter, my head will explode and having other mothers agree that cleaning up brain matter is messy and best avoided.

And I get to talk about my boobs.

In years past I think most mothers suffered along in quiet isolation.

I wish that there had been blogging around when I had my first child. It is so much more comprehensive, accurate, and real. I don't know, I never found the space in my oldest sons' baby books to write an entry under the heading "The time I felt like chucking you out of the window because you wouldn't stop crying." or "Oh it was so funny when my boobs were painfully engorged and your father accidentally brushed against them. So I kicked him as hard as I could. We don't know if he'll be capable of fathering anymore children." Those are the sort of things I want to remember.

Mommybloggers: You created a line of tshirts for mothers who are sick of pretending that we love all our children equally. Seriously, you had us spitting our drinks at our monitors. What fashions do you have planned for your fall collection?

Chris: I was surprised that people actually bought them to be perfectly honest.

For fall I am thinking of a line of accessories, such as customized muzzles/scarves that say, "Won't shut-up" or "I talk too much" Or maybe a shirt for myself that says, "yes, they are all mine. unless you want one."

Mommybloggers: We noticed on your list of forty things before forty, you list 'ride a roller coaster.' Does this mean you've never ridden one?

Chris: Uh, no. I completely freaked out on the Dumbo ride a few years ago at Disney World. I was on it with my 3 yr old and he and I were fighting over the bar. He wanted to go high and I wanted it to stay nice and low. And then at the end of the ride where all the flying Dumbos go in the air I started screaming and laughing in that hyperventilating, one step away from a straight jacket type of way.

The rollercoaster is something I am going to have to work up to. You know bladder control after seven children is not what it used to be.

Mommybloggers: From the stoned cats on your lawn to your never-ending renovations, it seems that The Big Yellow House could be chaotic. Yet from your series of answers to stupid questions asked by people who can't imagine having more than two children, it seems like you've got a routine down pat, and an ability to roll with the punches. How much of yourself do you put out there?

Chris: I am not organized person, I just play one on the internet.

It is a tough balance trying to decide what to share and what to hold back. I am relatively transparent about myself and my own faults. I try not to write anything about anyone that I would not say to their face. I'd love to write things about certain acquaintances and I have hilarious stories about family members and their love for Velveeta and Precious Moments figurines, but alas I must hold back.

I also try hard not to write anything that smacks of airing dirty laundry. It wouldn't be fair to my husband since he doesn't have a blog to dish about me. Not that he has anything he could write about me. Nope, nothing at all.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? mama

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? puke, followed by the words: in my bed

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Oh, we are supposed to censor ourselves. That must be in the perfect mother newsletter that I haven't received yet.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? We have a screened in sunporch where the children never think to go looking for me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? Any room inside the house, my children are nothing if not persistent in their quest to tattle on one of their siblings.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I will never offer advice about motherhood again, since I am NOT EVEN A MOTHER, and will from now on defer to all of you... and to kick it of I am sending all the mommybloggers of a month long cruise where there will be 24 hour round the clock child care, 24 hour round the clock alcohol consumption, and 24 hour round the clock calorie free food to eat. And here is a big bag filled with all my newest favorite shit for you to have.

Be sure to check back with us tomorrow as we feature an essay written by Chris!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers.com is proud to introduce you to Chris, author of the blog formerly known as The Big Yellow House. Since 2004, Chris has kept her readers laughing with her quick wit and ability to tell it like it really is. As the mother of a large family, Chris has plenty of material, and she never disappoints. From kids "helping" with home renovations, to stories from the Little League bleachers, this busy mom shares her day to day adventures with her lucky readers. Her entries are full of life, and even on the rough days, you can feel her love and warmth for her family flowing.

We love her ability to capture those little triumphs and tragedies of parenting, and to make them significant. Her comedic timing is fantastic, yet she also writes movingly about more weighty matters. Chris gives a real world glimpse into the life of a big, happy family. Rather than painting a picture of sainted motherhood, Chris is the type of mom you wish lived next door. We just adore her. But don't take our words for it. We invited some of her readers to share what they love about Chris:

Sheryl marvels at her sanity:

Chris is so funny, and such a great writer. She's really an inspiration, because she has twice as many kids as I do, and is still sane! Plus she's very down to earth, and it's comforting to read a blog that tells it like it is. I'd love to tell you more wonderful things about Chris, but my 5 year-old informs me that my 3 year-old just stuck marshmallows in the toaster.

TBG sees Chris as a role model:

I have read Chris at the big yellow house from the beginning. I enjoy her take on her children and her life as a mother. She is a great role model on what I would like to be someday, I have always dreamed of a big family and in our 2.5 family society it is nice to see someone who has decided to have lots of children and loves it. She is an all around beautiful person. I will continue to read about her family as long as she posts.

Jamie shares how Chris inspires her:

I just started reading Chris's blog. Not only am I in awe of her amazing mothering abilities (I can barely manage two kids) but she eloquently expresses her feelings on motherhood. One day she has me laughing and the next day I am moved to tears by her posts and her beautiful photography!

Ben is intimidated, but only a little:

Chris is simply awesome. A wonderful sense of humor, dedication to her family, and keen insite into how things really work. I love reading her blog and I'm more than a little intimidated by her ability to handle such a big gang of people.

Jody, of and baby makes 6! explained why she keeps coming back for more:

I started reading Chris blog a few months after she started writing. I was immediatley drawn to her wit and daily tales of her (then) 6 children.

Why do I enjoy reading her so much? She is engaging, funny, serious, gifted, and beautiful inside and out. Some days she has me wiping away a tear, others laughing out loud, causing my kids and husband to gather round the computer to see what made me laugh so hard.

I recently have been going through a very tough time. My 48 yo husband had a stroke, and I was devastated. Although we have never met in real life, Chris picked up the phone and called me. With 7 kids at home, she took time away from them to call me and offer a shoulder to cry on.

To sum it up, she is genuine.

Tori appreciates the laughs, and the perspective:

Chris cracks me up. I thought I had it tough with 4 kids but she trumps me and remains funny and humble at the same time. I am quite a new reader to her site but come away chuckling and yet full of her energy that just exudes from the page!
Thanks for your insights Chris.

Chris has attracted a huge following - we invite you to join us this afternoon as we feature our interview with the very funny Chris.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)