Mommybloggers: Grace, Thank you for being our first very first guest blogger! We met you at the BlogHer conference, and have held you in highest regard ever since. You are funny, snarky and sharp. You are a compassionate humanitarian. Now answer our questions young lady, or you're grounded.
Grace, have you always been as irreverent, witty, sassy and funny as you are today? In other words, have you always had your voice? Did you spend some time looking for it? If so, how did you find it (your voice, that is)? Because Grace, you have a voice. WHOO-EEE, do you have a voice.
Grace: When you’re one of six kids from a working class, industrial strength Catholic family, somewhere along the line you must develop a keen sense of snark. It’s a survival tool and a preventive measure, useful in keeping one from a slow death by boredom or turning into one of those stoned teenagers slamming against the high school corridor walls.
I can hardly compare myself with the genius of David Sedaris and the deadpan humor of Bill Murray, but they hail from backgrounds similar to mine. Like them, I am spellbound by the absurdities of every day life and can’t resist hauling the weirdness out of the closet to ask whoever is interested, “What the fuck is with the FLOWBEE, people?�
Indeed, I’ve always been a smartass, and I think that’s what you mean by ‘voice’.
Just for the record, the kid says I’m “hella� more sarcastic than all of her friends combined, and they’re fourteen. I like to think of this as a compliment.
Mommybloggers: Yeah, we did mean smart-ass, but we made you say it! What are the ages of your kids?
Grace: "Molly is 14 and I have five grown step kids, ages 34, 33, 31, 30 and 24."
Mommybloggers: So Ms. Grace Davis, we hear you are Dr. Laura's worst nightmare. And we believe that. We don't want to mess with you, but we do want to know more about you. Tell us a little about yourself. Where did you grow up, and how did your childhood experiences shape who you are today?
Grace: "I grew up in the bleak sameness of suburban Northern California. My hometown of Fremont was, in the late 1950s and through the 60s, severely white bread, car oriented, and consumerist in the extreme. It was also an incubator for the 60s drug culture, producing bored teenagers slamming against the school lockers high on hash, and, when we were feeling ambitious, zipping down the corridors on revved up on speed.
Mommybloggers: So Grace, you are from the 'burbs! The burbs of California no less! A budding suburban rebel from Fremont. Tell us more about the community that shaped the enigma otherwise known as Grace.
Grace: "I cannot say enough about the delusion of safety in the suburbs. My parents, bless their yearning, immigrant hearts, were thrilled to have a piece of the rock in the form of our modest tract home. Like everyone else, they wanted to spare their children the ravages of inner city life. They saw the solution was in planned communities, with shopping malls serving as contrived city centers. Everything perfect, everything in its place.
My response to all of this was to hide and read. I’m second of six kids and hiding in our household was no mean feat. But I nestled in little corners read everything I could get my grimy mitts on. I think if I were a teenager today, I would be a goth bookworm, spending my allowance on Doc Marten lace ups and obscure fiction at used book stores."
Mommybloggers: Two of the three mommybloggers are middle children. We feel your pain. Really we do. We are a special breed, middle kids. Batteries and neuroses included!
Grace: "To this day, I continue nurturing my inner goth bookworm, always choosing alternative pathways to mainstream culture. I will forever be drawn to the unique, the weird, and the quirky. I’m certain I’m not the only one raised in the suburbs who has devoted their life to exorcising its demons. In fact, I would bet serious money that the entire population at Burning Man share this world view."
Mommybloggers: So tell us Grace, truthfully. If you had Dr. Laura alone in a room, what would you say to her?
Grace: "Hopefully, the spirit of Mother Teresa would take over my body, compelling me to extend sweetness, pink light and compassion towards Dr. Laura Schlessinger. However, I have a feeling that the wise and righteous Mother Teresa would want to totally kick Dr. Laura’s ass. So, no matter what, Dr. Laura would go down, either by getting her butt walloped or getting killed by liberal kindness. And I’ll just bet she’d prefer the ass kicking."
Mommybloggers: I think you're right. I bet Dr. Laura loves nothing more than a good whupping. A real sick puppy, that one.
Grace, you have been blogging for a couple of years now. What inspired you to start blogging?
Grace: "Actually, I’ve only been blogging for a year as of September 23. That’s all. And now I’m uneasy and paranoid as your assumption that I’ve been blogging for longer has triggered a wave of insecurity and self doubt - “Hmmm, Meghan, Jenn and Jenny are thinking ‘a few years’? Does that mean I come off as jaded and world weary? No longer fresh? Should I do more memes? Post more pictures of my dog?�
Mommybloggers: Yes Grace, we want more pictures of the dog, and we want more fresh-e-fresh. Like, enough of this making the world a better place through grassroots philanthropy. That might get you an interview with the New York Times and all, but you could really liven things up with a new twist. Like limericks. You should definitely add limericks to your blog format.
Grace: "Yeah, I'll get right on that. All of my many neuroses aside, I deployed a blog for two reasons. The first is that personal websites are part of a big conversation I was eager to join. I caught the bug in the late 90s as an ardent fan of webjournals, particularly Steve Amaya’s Evaporation , Beth Reinstein Atkins’ Stitches in Time and Chuck Atkins’ ChuckStake. Compelling stuff these webjournals, personal memoirs of every day life published on the World Wide Web for all to see. Imagine that!
Webjournals and the blogosphere was seductive on many levels.
Mommybloggers: Seductive! Sounds scandalous. Do tell!
Grace: "It’s part peasant revolution, whereupon a non-techy, soccer mom like me can access and participate in a fat media venue. It’s part village square, though on a global basis, across geopolitical and cultural boundaries. And, of course, it’s part therapeutic. We may reveal our heart, soul and psyche in this public milieu and, with interactive features of blog tools, we are rewarded with feedback and genuine support from like minds."
Mommybloggers: You are possibly the worlds coolest soccer mom. You took your 14 year old daughter and her friends to Hawaii for spring break for crying out loud. Is 33 years too old to be adopted? Grace, will you adopt me? All of us? Please?
Grace: "Sure! Can you cook? Really though, Maybe you could just work things out with your mom and dad, okay? Back to the blog. The other reason why I hurled my laptop into the blogosphere is that group emails I used to send to my friends were not unlike busy blog posts. As my friends began to fear my spam (Egads! Another three part email from Grace!), I thought I should consign my pithy observations, political rants and petty thoughts about celebrities on to a blog. Then, friends could elect to click onto my blog for my current dark musings on Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. Once I unfurled my words via the miracle of TypePad, I was delighted to find that others outside my circle of pals were interested in discussing the Cheney/Rumsfeld cabal.
So, everybody wins – my friends are spared Grace Spam, I created my own bully pulpit of a blog, complete with pics of my kiddo Molly and my Jack Russell Terrier, Malcolm, and I became friends with a bunch of smart, witty, tender, kindly bloggers and readers."
Mommyblogggers: Grace, Have you always written? What did you do with your snark before the blog? Did you write recreationally or professionally before you became a blogger?
Grace: "My endeavors in creative writing were limited to the aforementioned lengthy, spammy emails to friends. I did write several short stories when I was younger and really full of myself. Such is the hubris of the English Literature major, and I was a particularly insufferable one at that.
Professionally, I was a scientific/medical editor earlier in my career. I believe one can hunt down my stuff on Medline but it would be a hell of a scavenger hunt as the editors are usually sixth in a line-up of seven authors.
Yes, I suppose I sound a little bitter about that."
Mommybloggers: You have really changed lives with the hurricane relief blog. You are our idol. Did you ever dream the philanthropic blog you started would be as sucessful as it has been?
Grace: "Certainly not! I thought I would simply rally my blogroll and folks who read our posts about the blog on Craigslist. However, I’m ecstatic we have been able to help in such a significant way. Though the Hurricane Katrina Direct Relief and Family to Family blogs sprang out of pure serendipity, I also think our appearance was timely. People were disturbed and furious with our government’s ineffective responses to Katrina victims. Thus, our humble sites were well received as sincere, grassroots efforts. We were perceived as more trustworthy than the traditional resources for relief."
Mommybloggers: Have you thought about promoting a Grace Davis bobblehead doll?
Grace: "....Yeah. Ummm.. No....Maybe?"
Mommybloggers: You have poured blood sweat and tears into the hurricaine relief blog. You even worked through the night and showed up for a television interview with (gasp) UNWASHED HAIR!!! Your dedication is admirable. You might even spark the newest look in hair! Forget "the Rachel"! This year it's "The Grace"! But Seriously, What can average Joes like us do to help people at this stage of the hurricane recovery?
Grace: The Katrina disaster continues to dominate the lives of folks on the Gulf Coast. Donations of food, supplies and equipment have decreased significantly now that ‘compassion fatigue’ has taken over the national consciousness. As far as the mainstream media is concerned, we have met the end of the Katrina ‘story arc’. We’re not seeing coverage on CNN and Fox of the communities continuing to live in suboptimal conditions, with whole families in tents and dining in soup kitchens. This is abysmal. This is the bad news.
The good news is that more and more families have moved out of the evacuee shelters and have been provided with modest apartments, small houses and mobile homes. However, as these families lost everything in the hurricane, they’re moving into empty living rooms, bedrooms, bathrooms and kitchens.
So, we’re looking to meet the basic needs – non-perishable food, underwear, hooded sweatshirts, baby items - for the struggling communities and ‘housewarming gifts’ for families moving into their new homes.
Obviously, this is the part where the overeager, do-gooder, disaster relief blogger urges everyone to take a look at the posts on her Hurricane Katrina relief blogs and see what you can do to help our friends!"
Mommybloggers: It's to be expected! You are passsionate about helping the people who need it. We encourage everyone to take a look at the relief site and do what they can to help.
Grace, What do you REALLY think of the term "mommyblogger"?
Grace: I think it sounds upbeat and cheerful. ‘Mommy’ softens the mucosal sounding ‘blogger’. It describes exactly what we do - getting the mommy story out into the blogosphere. I identify with the term completely and claim my blog accordingly, though my version includes menopausal symptoms, left of center politics and the occasional fantasy of George Clooney in bondage.
Mommybloggers: Who doesn't like the thought of George in bondage? Bondage at his Italian Villa no less!
Grace, What do you see as the socio-cultural impact of the mommyblog now and in the future? Where do you think this is all headed?
Grace: Any phenomenon or movement involving truth telling by women will blow the lid off the culture. Myth busting is what we’re talking about here and the best mommy blogs are all over this. You have to admire the sheer chutzpah of those mommy bloggers who toss sentimentality out the window and fearlessly give us the real deal on cradle cap (gross!), projectile vomiting (The kid hurled all over me!), and needing to get laid, (my GOD, when will it HAPPEN?).
We must also honor those mommy bloggers who reveal their pain and helplessness. It’s an act of courage for mothers to portray anything other than noble, selfless parenting. It’s a service to all mothers when we announce we’re not longer buying into the great palace lie that all is gingham and teddy bears with our children and homes. Caring for kids, particularly infants and young children, can be dangerously draining. When we say or write – This is hard! This is nuts! I’m completely lost! – we affirm ourselves and others and this allows us to take the necessary steps to regaining our sanity and wholeness. If we don’t, we continue to lie to ourselves, and the cost of that is huge.
In the future we will see the emergence of 12 Step groups for adult children whose mothers were mommybloggers. In case I’m not around to witness this, I’ve been putting aside a small nest egg for my kid’s shrink fund. In either case, consider yourselves warned.
Mommybloggers: We shudder to think of the psychological repercussions. Start saving for therapy now, mommybloggers.
So, forget the kids! What about blogs in general?
Grace: Now that we have the tools to wield our very own media outlets, there’s no going back. Blogs are here to stay and will evolve with the technology. I want to play with all of the new fancy stuff – the video blogs, the podcasting - but I’ll be thinking twice when the smell-a-blog appears on the scene. You simply don’t want a whiff of a blogger like me who spends way too much time pounding away on the laptop in old sweats, breathing out deadly coffee breath and is in desperate need of a shower.
Mommybloggers: And now for our gratuitous ripoff of the questions form "Inside the Actors Studio", Bloggy style! * (With apologies to the great Bernard Pivot)
What is your favorite parent related word?
"Sippy cup. Makes me grin from ear to ear. Happy, happy sippy cup!"
What is your least favorite parent related word?
Ferberizing. I know that’s all about getting your kid to sleep on their own, but it sounds like a dry cleaning process, not unlike 'Martinizing'.
What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
"'Cabron!' which means male goat in Spanish. Especially effective when you roll the 'r' in that second syllable.
What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
I use the kitchen table. Nobody messes with me at the kitchen table. after all, I'm just a lunge away from grabbing one of the carving knives.
Second is my bed, but I have to duke it out with the dog to get a prime place there. My own bed! Where's the justice?
What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
The bed. The last sanctuary. Gone! Oh, the inhumanity!
If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Show when she features the Mommybloggers?
"Today we're going to take the Mommybloggers out for make overs!"
Sigh, such music to my ears. Besides a new do and a nifty wardrobe, I could go for a medically administered chemical peel. But please, no botox. I like my frown lines, thank you very much. Besides, these creases are essential for my patented Look of DoomTM, a powerful parenting tool I have honed to perfection over the years. Take that away, and it would be pure anarchy at my house.
By the way, Oprah exists. That girlfriend ain’t no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. Don’t mess wid me on dat.
Mommybloggers: Oh. Don't worry Grace. We won't. We love you, but we are a sometimes a little scared of you at the same time! Believe us. We will not mess wid you.
