Mommybloggers: Jen, the mommybloggers are so happy to have an opportunity to feature you. Your blog is epic at this point, after four years of writing posts. There are certain things that come through loud and clear in your writing: Honesty, love, spontaneity, elation, exhaustion, an appreciation for life’s simple pleasures, and lots and lots of love expressed via the baked good. Four children times four years is about sixteen delectable looking homemade birthday cakes (Mommyblogger Meghan’s birthday is July first. Ahem.). Good heavens Jen, you should open up a shop. How do you find the time?
Jen: Well, I’m always eager to let the housework slide (understatement) if it means I get to make something. Throw in a little healthy neglect toward the kids, and I can make a cake while they watch Arthur videos and stick frozen French fries in their noses.
Mommybloggers: Jen, tell us a little bit about your formative years.
Jen: Those years included, but were not limited to: Texas, California, lots of siblings (3) and step siblings (4), a great many books, one awesome cat, black clothes and stompy shoes, soccer, ballet, swimming, babysitting, a closeness with my family, the Baptist, Methodist and Mormon churches, trick-or-treating above the age limit, and drama. Lots of self-created drama. Oh, also: allergy shots, braces, an inability to fit in, a 1973 Audi with a sun roof and 8-track tape deck, fear of the dark, fear of someone breaking into the house, fear of someone throwing a brick through the window (that was so bad for awhile that I couldn’t sit near a window at night), fear of an airplane crashing into my house. I’m really sympathetic when my kids are feeling afraid.
Mommybloggers: Jen, you have been blogging since July of 2002. Did you write before the dawn of the blog?
Jen: I’ve always kept diaries and journals, and I used to write really stinky poetry. I took some short story writing classes in college, but really I’ve always been more of a journaler.
Mommybloggers: You were nominated for a blog award for the category “Makes me want to have kids”. Looking through the years of pictures of Lex, Nate, Sophie and Willow, I can see why. Your children are beautiful, and your writing, along with the pictures, really allows their personalities to shine. A couple of my favorite pictures are “Baconhead” and “Feral children”. It is a joy to watch them all grow over four years. When you were young, did you think you would have a big family?
Jen: I didn’t think I’d have four children, but I am freakishly attracted to babies. The big family just unfolded, in some cases despite my best intentions. *ahem*
Mommybloggers: You often write about an elusive dream you pursue relentlessly. It seems you have a near constant desire for a quiet moment with a cup of coffee. With four children, how often is your dream realized, and does getting there involve duct tape?
Jen: Now that Willow is three and likes to sit and play in the dirt, or lay on her belly, kicking her feet in the air while watching a video, I do get moments like that. They aren’t always quiet, but I get a lot more time to myself than I did for a long time there. The boys are old enough now that they just pop in to ask things like, “Is asthma contagious?” or “Can-we-go-see-X-Men-Three-even-though-it’s-rated-PG13-please-please-please??!!” (My answer? “Yes, I’ll take you, but only if Wolverine is in this one.” For *some* reason, that weirded them out.) I haven’t used duct tape on them, but I think that’s mainly because I can never find it since the boys have used it to torture Barbie dolls. (Kidding! They only talk about torturing barbies, as far as I know.)
Mommybloggers: How many non-human creatures do you provide food and shelter to?
Jen: I will only feed the iguana, and then only if John is out of town. I guess that technically, I provide shelter to them all. The current inventory: iguana, Asian water monitor, Burmese python, hognose snake, two tarantulas, flat rock scorpion, rat snake (just ‘snake’ isn’t icky enough, they have to call it a ‘rat snake’) and a beautiful king snake. In the backyard there is a tank of bullfrogs, and I try and keep the hummingbird feeders clean and full. That’s, what? Nine in the house, plus frogs outside.
Mommybloggers: What were your reasons for starting a blog?
Jen: I was a late comer to the Hip Mama boards; they shut it down a few days before I discovered it. The ending of the discussion threads had links to blogs, which is how I even found out what one was. I loved what I saw, which was the ability to have an ongoing conversation with people all over the world.
Mommybloggers: How have your reasons for blogging changed since 2002?
Jen: My reasons haven’t changed. I still value the two-way aspect of blogging, and I’m lucky that I’ve made some wonderful friends through my blog. I have recently put ads on my site, but my motivations are the same. I’ve always talked more than most mortals can stand, and blogging lets me do that without aggravating those around me all the time. My hope is that someone in a similar situation who needs an ally will find my site and feel a connection to what I’m saying. It can be crushingly lonesome being a mother, and when I’ve found women whose experiences are similar to mine it has done amazing things for my mood and general outlook. Also, my memory sucks, and I want a record for myself and my kids.
Mommybloggers: How has your writing changed over the years?
Jen: I’m sad to say it’s gone downhill! When I’m looking back for something in the archives, it always seems that the posts are funnier and more “on.” I use more photos now, and I write less about people who don’t live under my roof. In the past I was able to write openly about the major events in my life, like Willow’s turbulent birth and first year. Currently, the major things are pretty private, and while they certainly affect me, they have to do with my children so I’ve held back. (Everyone is okay, it’s just a rough time for us.)
Mommybloggers: You were an early adopter to the whole blogging phenomena. What bloggers inspired you back in 2002?
Jen: The first blog I ever saw, through the Hip Mama Boards, was Small Hands (http://smallhand.blogspot.com/), though she has changed her blog name and address since then to protect her privacy from a snoopy coworker. I got really lucky to happen upon her first, because she’s such an inspiring woman and amazing mother. I read her blog for hours while everyone slept, and then I went straight to the Blogger homepage and started my own. When she linked to me, and sent me an email, I was so unbelievably happy. I still read her every time I get a chance to read blogs. (You should interview her. Seriously. What are you doing here??)
Mommybloggers: Are you an early adopter of technology in general?
Jen: I’m always game for the new gadgets, but my knowledge is so very poor. My family was the first I knew of to get a cd player! And I had a cell phone in 1993! I played Pong and was pretty kick-ass on the first generation Atari games. I clearly remember my dad building a computer at home in the late 70’s. I don’t have the income to buy the latest things, but I am certainly interested.
Mommybloggers: You recently wrote that looking through your archives made you realize how much easier life is now than it was when Willow was a baby. Did you realize, in the beginning, how well these years would be documented when you started your blog?
Jen: Once I began to get into the habit of writing on a regular basis I was immediately grateful for that part of it. I often read things from as little as six months ago and I realize that if I hadn’t written them down, I would have forgotten them. As much as I dread my children reading my blog, I think it’ll be fascinating for them to get a fairly clear view of what it was like when they were little through their own adult eyes. They may remember things far differently than I describe them. In fact, I expect them to!
Mommybloggers: You work more hours than most CEO’s. Easier is relative, I suppose. Why do you think parenting is easier now?
Jen: I finally gave in and let the boys have a game cube. Overall, though, it isn’t mentally easier, just physically. It’s a little less hands-on and hover-over than it was a year ago. Now I can let them all play in the backyard while I do dishes, but last summer I couldn’t. Hopefully next summer, they will be doing the dishes while I lounge in a hammock.
Mommybloggers: Your writing about having Willow as a preemie and the subsequent health issues she faced was especially moving. Watching her grow into a healthy, robust child through your archives is such a joyful celebration of life. How did that experience affect you?
Jen: I’m still figuring that out. When I think about my own experience with all that, it’s tangled up with me very nearly dying while I was pregnant with her. Her birth, which was planned to happen at home, could have been fatal for both of us as well had we not made it to the hospital in time. I’m very mindful of some of my own personal family history, which includes a first cousin who died in infancy and another more distant cousin who has severe cerebral palsy due to a doctor’s mistakes at her birth. I know that we were so incredibly lucky to have come through it all healthy. I’ve got a c-section scar and Willow has some eye problems, but other than those marks on us, you’d never know what a close scrape we had. I don’t love her more than the other kids, but I do love her differently. The same holds true for Nathan, who almost didn’t make it, either. Sometimes I feel a weird kind of survivor’s guilt, but always I am extremely thankful. I still have the NICU phone number programmed in my cell phone, and some tiny hospital gowns and blankets I stole during her last inpatient stay when she was eleven months old. It may sound cheesy, but I think I notice the small beautiful things in the world more often and appreciate getting the chance to see them.
Mommybloggers: Jen, You do a lot of vegan cooking. Reading your blog makes a person very hungry. You could coax the world’s most carnivorous carnivore to give up meat. Any chance you might put a cookbook together? Because we would buy it in a heartbeat.
Jen: If any of the recipes were mine, perhaps, but I generally put my effort into choosing good recipes rather than creating them. My favorite cookbook is Vegan Planet. And I should come clean and admit that I’m a closet occasional meat eater.
Mommybloggers: We know you have done some creative writing in addition to blogging. Tell us a little bit about your writing goals. We would love to see more of your work. What do you see happening with your writing in the future?
Jen: Like nearly everyone else blogging, I have an idea for a novel. So far, I have spent more time telling the plot to people than actually working on it. My main problem (other than, you know, actually writing the book) is that all the story ideas I come up with aren’t original enough to suit me. Working on a book or a series of short stories is one of the million things I want to put time and energy into when all the kids are in school in August of 2008.
I’m really enjoying the BlogHer (http://blogher.org/) community and the numbers of new bloggers. I don’t have plans to stop blogging anytime soon, so I think that all my writing will be focused there for quite awhile.
Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):
1.What is your favorite parent related word? Bedtime!!
2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Mom?Mom?mamamamamamamammoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooom?MOM!!!
3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Farking bastages! Son of a biscuit eater!
4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? I have to “pee” a lot. Really I’m reading Bust or the East Village Inky.
5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The front porch.
6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? “You look like hell, honey! Let’s get you a massage, a facial, a pedicure and mani – oh hell, FULL MAKEOVER OVER HERE STAT!! AND DON’T FORGET WARDROBE!” And I would be whispering in her ear, “Don’t forget the swank pajamas and high thread count sheets. Also, quality reading material. I really love those ridiculously expensive designer jeans, and who could say no to anything by Armani or Anna Sui. . . shoes, Oprah, I desire shoes and new bras. Non- nursing bras!”
Then I’d love for her to help me set up a foundation that would offer free parenting classes and group talking sessions to people who find themselves holding a little seven pound squalling person while thinking, “Oh, shit, I’m really in for it now.”
