Mommybloggers: Your blog is named Wonder Mom. It conjures up images of a Mom with a big red cape with WM on it flying valiantly behind her as she has a toddler on one hip and the car keys in the other with the power of more than 100 PTA presidents. Are we close? So how did you come up with the title Wonder Mom?
Kris: Yes, you're close. But forget the cape and add a Golden Lasso of Truth along with super vision and hearing -- all of which come in handy with kids, as you can guess. Sometimes I wear the golden braziere and tiara, too, depending on my mood. All I'm missing is an invisible airplane so I can high-tail it out of here once in a while. Just an hour to myself, that's all I need!
In summer 2004, when my boys were four and two, I read Dooce obsessively (didn't everyone?). One day she visited Mighty Girl, and I thought the superhero concept applied nicely to motherhood. So when I found myself at the "create blog" prompt at Blogger, "Wonder Mom" sprang to mind.
I like "wonder" because it implies more than just having super powers. For me it bring up that sense of awe we all feel when we look at our kids, and that sense of uncertainty. Half the time as a mom, I wonder if my kids will turn out OK. I wonder what the heck I'm doing. I wonder what I can pull out my hat for dinner. It's the most seat-of-the-pants thing I've ever done. So, when I chose Wonder Mom, it was a nod to all the superpowers that motherhood requires, but also to the fact that, as a mom, I don't know everything. The quote on my site, "All wonder is the effect of novelty on ignorance," sums it up pretty well.
Mommybloggers: You've mentioned you were the world's worst telemarketer. How so?
Kris: Let's see, I used to hang up on people when they answered so I wouldn't have to say the same sorry spiel for the 743rd time that night. That's pretty bad, right? I worked for a frozen meat company, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I experimented with veganism soon after I left that job. In three months I made one sale, if that. Seriously. They tried to make me a supervisor just to get me off the phone.
Mommybloggers: So about the fact that you enjoyed working in editing. Ummm, does that mean you are going to edit this interview and sent it back corrected and publishable? Because I am pretty sure you will have a big job ahead of you if you try.
Kris: I wouldn't dream of tinkering with a master Mommyblogger's prose! Well, I did make one little change, but I changed it back.
Mommybloggers: Rumor has it you had a massive crush on Scott Baio and then betrayed the Baio for Michael Jackson. Would this fall under one your early life regrets now?
Kris: I don't regret dissing Scott, at all. But Michael? I just feel dirty.
Mommybloggers: You used hypno-birthing for your babies. Explain to our readers what that is and why you chose to use that method when delivering your children.
Kris: Childbirth scared the hell out of me. I always said I'd sue my OB if I didn't remain numb from the chest down throughout the entire ordeal. When I got pregnant, my friend recorded an episode of Dateline about women using hypnosis to have pain-free births. I was so impressed, I would have flown to Florida to see the doctor they featured! But luckily, Marie Mongon, the founder of Hypnobirthing, is located about an hour from me, in New Hampshire. So, I found a local class.
I chose hypnobirthing because it talked about a comfortable birth experience where the mom could be in control at all times. Hypnobirthing classes remind women that our bodies are designed to give birth, that women have been doing so for thousands of years, and the concept of horrificand painful childbirth is one part history and another part cultural stigma. The idea is that women experience heightened pain in childbirth in part because of fear and stress. As the contractions intensify, stress levels go up, muscles tighten, and pain increases in a vicious cycle. In hypnobirthing, instead of getting scared, you relax more deeply as the contractions get stronger.
My births weren't all pain-free bliss, but they were awesome. I'd like to see a version of Hypnobirthing replace the childbirth classes found in most hospitals today. Even for women who plan to get an epidural or C-section, the relaxation techniques can help so much.
Mommybloggers: You mentioned that you have suffered from low self-esteem off and on, but that pretty much resolved itself after you had children because you were "too tired to care." Can we just give you a huge high 5 at that statement! As a mom to 3 young children, does low self esteem even enter into the equation anymore?
Kris: Well, not in the same way. Whereas before kids I wondered if I was interesting or funny enough to hang with certain people, now I worry that they will see the snot on my shirt or be able to tell I haven't washed my hair in four days.
I'd be lying to say that I'm ultra-confident now. I still have my insecurities. For example, when Mommybloggers asked to feature me, I was convinced it was all a mistake! Also, I think the self-doubt I've experienced as a mom is worse than any other kind. I mean, I'm creating humans here! Messing myself up is one thing, but what about hese helpless innocents? Who will protect them from my shortcomings?
On the other hand, though, motherhood has shown me how strong and resilient I can be. These kids! They are so relentless with their needs and their testing of my patience! But I can't throw my hands up, say "I suck at this," and walk away, because they need me, and because I love them. And because I'm pretty sure someone would call child protective services. My oldest son, Ben, has told me, "You're fired," several times. Perhaps he's channeling The Donald.
Mommybloggers: You are also a contributing writer at DotMoms. How long have you been writing there?
Kris: Since November 2004. Actually, I started Wonder Mom in hopes of impressing DotMoms founder and editor Julie Moos. I feel honored to be a part of that group.
Mommybloggers: You've written about having a major case of MomBrain. How is that going for you now?
Kris: I've since read that "mom brain" is a myth and that women become smarter when they become mothers. So perhaps I'm misinterpreting my absentmindedness and inability to think three related thoughts in a row as a weakness. Maybe it's really a strength. Or, maybe when Ava starts sleeping through the night things will improve. Or, maybe ... umm, what was the question again?
Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret. One thing your readers may not know about you.
Kris: My readers know quite a bit, now that I think about it. They know, for example, that I applied for one of those slick, payrolled mom-blogger positions over at ClubMom, but I didn't get hired. What they don't know, and I can announce it here, is that my network-savvy husband and I have hatched a diabolical plan to redirect all ClubMom blogs to Wonder Mom. Mwahahahhaa! ClubMom blogdom will be mine!
Mommybloggers: What is your favorite part about blogging?
Kris: Making connections with so many people, knowing I'm not alone in this sometimes isolating SAHM gig, having readers respond to what I write, and having the oddball business opportunity or freebie thrown my way. I have to say, though, being featured on Mommybloggers is the highlight to date!
Mommybloggers: We ask this of the moms we interview: What do you think of the term "mommybloggers"?
Kris: I knew the moment I typed in "Wonder Mom" that I would write mostly about motherhood, so I have nothing against being in that group. In college, I remember reading Living Out Loud by Anna Quindlin and thinking, "Once I have kids, I'll have sooo much to write about." And I do. Kids provide endless fodder, most of it hilarious and poignant and heartwrenchingly representative of the human condition. It's no wonder moms find they have so much to say.
Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):
1. What is your favorite parent related word?
It's a toss-up between "hugs" and "good-night!"
2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
Stomach flu. I tried to think of something more original, but so far, nothing strikes fear in my heart quite like a barfing toddler.
3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
I don't have any, although I should probably come up with some. Now and then I'll say "poop," but only because it makes the boys fall down laughing, which gives me the opening to escape to ...
4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
... the storage room in the basement. It has a deadbolt and a door to the back yard, if necessary.
5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
The bathroom. They damned near knock the door down.
6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features all of our featured Mommybloggers?
"You've heard me say that mothers have the hardest job on the planet. [applause] The hardest job! [applause] So today, everyone in the audience is a mom, and today, EVERYONE WILL GO HOME WITH ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!!!!!!" [applause, fainting, screaming, applause] And, featured Mommybloggers, you each get a book deal!"
We hope you have enjoyed our chat with Kris. Be sure to check in with us tomorrow when we will feature an essay written by WonderMom, herself. In the meantime, to read more from Kris, visit her personal blog WonderMom.
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