The following entry is a favorite from the archives of Surrender, Dorothy.

Last night, the little angel was not into going to bed. My beloved was at a basketball game, so I decided to let her cry for a little while. I could hear the exhaustion in her voice and knew from the frequent eye-rubbing that she was genuinely tired.

After about fifteen minutes, the neighbor's car alarm went off. The little angel's cries took on a fever pitch. Now, there's a difference between letting her cry herself to sleep and letting her undergo genuine terror, so I went upstairs to reassure her everything was okay. As I opened the door, I saw her standing in her crib spewing white chunks all over the floor, her sheet and her pajamas. Thank goodness she had already thrown Tad the Singing Frog and Gray Kitty clear. The Bunny Slippers were also spared the wreckage.

I pulled her from the crib. "It's okay, honey," I said, holding her out at arm's length (difficult, since I think my recurrent repetitive stress injury had actually pulled a muscle last night - it's still quite painful on the day I'm SUPPOSED to get my long-awaited massage, dammit). "It's just a car. It's just a car." I put her on the floor to try to ascertain what to
clean up first. The vomit made a little puddle on the sheet and was dripping from the crib rails to the floor.

She followed me around the house as I gathered cleaning supplies, still sputtering. "Jess a cah," she said. "Jess a cah."

I pulled the sheets from her bed. She reached out to touch the vomit on the crib rail. "No, no," I said. "Yucky."

"Yucky. Jess a cah."

We cleaned up the floor - it's currently undergoing Resolve Therapy, but just then, there was no way I was going to subject her to the hated vacuum cleaner. I changed her diaper and her pajamas, wiped the snot, tears and vomit from her chin. Her blue eyes shone with love. "Jess a cah," she said solemnly.

"Yes," I said. "A car. Vroom, vroom. Not bad. Not scary." Well, not until she gets her license, anyway.

I put her back in her clean bed. She laid down obediently. "Sleepy," I said, and turned on the thankfully unscathed Tad. By the time he'd gone through six minutes till night-night, she was out.

I went downstairs to throw the stinky mess in the laundry, pondering if I'd done something wrong. I'm not a mean person. I don't mean to let my child cry until she pukes. This is the second time this has happened. The first time I was also letting her cry herself to sleep when the Ghetto Bird went over. This seems to only happen when she's already upset and then hears a scary, unidentified noise.

I called my parents. "The little angel cried until she puked again," I said.

My mother sighed. "It's okay, honey. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Do you think she'll live?" I asked. I am not a dramatic person AT ALL.

"Yes," Ma said. "Do you want to talk to your father?" This is an avoidance technique, but I accepted it. I felt oddly calm. I do know that she's going to live. Actually, I was really just glad it was all over and I might still get to drink my wine and watch a movie.

My father came on the line. "I think she'll be fine," he said. "We'll be there tomorrow." My parents are coming in tonight to watch the little angel while my beloved and I host the fourth annual Santa Pub Crawl. He dressed up like Santa so we can make asses of ourselves in our own neighborhood with our friends and whatever stragglers we can pick up along the way.

"Okay," I said. "That's all I had."

"Good night, honey," they said.

I sat back, drinking my wine, and thought of the memory I have of crying myself to sleep. There's only one, and I have no idea how old I was, except that I remember my bed being against the east wall of my bedroom, which I
don't think actually happened until I was a little older. I do remember the night, though. I cried and cried - probably for a very long time - the little angel comes by her extreme emotional outbursts honestly - and then finally realized that nobody was going to come. I remember screaming a little harder upon this realization, then deciding since it wasn't working that I would just go to sleep. This memory is helpful when I'm letting the angel cry.

I've read literally hundreds of entries on various parenting message boards from parents who are not willing to let their children cry for more than ten minutes. We've been known to let the angel cry for hours in our quest for
sleep. We're not mean - we love her very much - but we do know that it's a hard world out there for kids who can't learn to depend on themselves. She's cried a hundred times when we left her at daycare or with a sitter,
and she doesn't cry anymore. She willingly runs off to play with her friends, wielding her banana, when I drop her off now. This morning she didn't even look back when she ran into the room.

I do want to give her the gift of self-reliance. Letting her cry herself to sleep may seem harsh - especially when vomit is involved - but I believe she does know that we would never let her honestly suffer if something is very
wrong or she is very terrified. I think she's also starting to learn that in the battle of wills, we're equally matched.

Nothing, NOTHING breaks my heart more than the sound of her crying. On the flip side, at this juncture in my parenting career, there is also little better than the sweet sound of silence.

Read more from the wonderful Rita at Surrender, Dorothy. Right now!

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Mommybloggers: Hello, there, Dorothy! Or should we call you Surrender? Which is it?

RIta: Actually, I’m Rita. I’ve been blogging as Dorothy for about two years now, but I’ve given up on the idea that nobody will ever know who I really am. It’s sort of like trying to force a nickname at band camp.

Mommybloggers: We are all big fans of your blog - how did you discover blogging? Have you
always been a writer?

RIta:My friend C. over at Average Jane forwarded me an entry by Alice Bradley of Finslippy. The entry was about judging mothers and how to do it best. My daughter was three months old at the time, and I felt like everything I did was wrong and someone would be coming very soon to take her away from me. This was before I saw Britney Spears driving with Sean Preston in her lap and realized it’s sort of hard to remove children from their mothers for using the Costco brand of Enfamil.

I’ve been a writer since about age twelve. My first poems centered mostlycon unicorns. In high school, I was heavily influenced by Edgar Allan Poe and wrote a lot of bizarre stuff that I now can’t remember writing. Or even
thinking. Who was that girl? Embarrassing.

I wrote a horrible first novel that never went anywhere while I was temping at Mutual of Omaha and living in my parents’ basement between Chicago and Kansas City. When I got to Kansas City, I decided I needed help and got a
master’s degree. If you want to hate yourself, go to a graduate-level writing workshop. I’m now working as an editor, and that makes me really happy. I think going through the motions of getting the master’s made me own
my writing more, and that’s a good thing. But you don’t really need one.

Mommybloggers: One thing that really stands out in your writing is your obvious affection for your family. Even with difficult subjects, you always manage to create a positive spin. Are you always so upbeat?

RIta: No. It’s all done with mirrors.

I really use this forum to try to find the humor in situations in which I’m secretly doubting myself or paralyzed by anxiety. I’m prone to melodrama and melancholy, actually. I use the blogging to find the lighter side – to see the situation from the outside, like someone else would. It really, really helps.

Mommybloggers: We ask all our guests - what do you think of the term "Mommyblogger?" Are YOU a mommyblogger?

RIta: I love labels. I think we should have more of them.

Seriously, though, it doesn’t bother me. I have categories on my blog –parenting, marriage, writing, teaching, politics, working for the man…I have strong feelings on all of those subjects. I write about my daughter most
because a) I’m shocked on a daily basis by the lack of control involved in parenting and b) I want to have a record of these years. I went to a friend’s baby shower in Chicago a few weeks ago, and her mother gave her a
baby book containing all of these little slips of paper with funny stories about her childhood. I was so happy to realize I’d have a digital version for the little angel.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your growing up years. We'd love to know where you came from, and what your ambitions were.

RIta: I’m so tempted to quote The Jerk by that question.

I grew up in small-town Iowa, population 5,000. One-fifth of the town lived at the Iowa state hospital school for the mentally retarded. I don’t know why I put that in, but it’s hard to leave it out. I am the older of two daughters. My sister is a very talented writer and editor who works for a textbook-publishing company in Chicago. My mom was a teacher and my dad is a farmer who fell back on mechanical engineering.

What else? I was a fat kid whose mother had cancer twice when I was in middle school, which led to an eating disorder that lasted through high school and college. I haven’t blogged much about that yet, but it also colors my personality. I’m a self-doubter and a perfectionist. It’s hard for me to be nice to me, and blogging helps me, as I said, view my life through someone else’s eyes. We’re always nicer to other people than we are to ourselves.

I met my husband through a proprietary Lotus Notes database. It’s a long story. He impressed me with his killer wit and kindness. My dad always told me to marry someone you secretly think might be a better person than you are. I think I did. But I still like to make fun of him, anyway. He’s a great dad and an amazing human being. I’ve been a lot less critical of myself since he’s been in my life. He’ll never read this, though, because he doesn’t read my blog. Does anyone’s husband read their blog? Besides Heather Armstrong’s?

Mommybloggers: Teaching writing to students with challenges must be rewarding, but difficult. What is the one lesson you try to pass on to all your students?

RIta: Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, tell them what you told them. Do that, and you’ll be fine.

Mommybloggers: You've written about the freedom you feel when you blog, and how it affects your ability to self-censor in other areas of your life. Is there anything you avoid writing about?

RIta: I try not to be cruel. I don’t think blogging is a good forum for that. If I’m going to be cruel, I write a short story and
disguise the characters. I also try to avoid writing a lot about my family or my husband’s family. They didn’t ask to be part of my blog, and so I try to keep it to stuff that’s purely mine. My sister and I have a deal that we can’t steal each other’s lives for our own stories, and I think that applies to my blog, too. It’s unfortunate, because she has so much material that I’d love to use.

Mommybloggers: For many of us, reading and writing about motherhood helps us to become better, more relaxed parents. Is this your experience?

RIta: Oh, absolutely. I’ve written you, Jenny, about the little angel’s sleeping problems, and I’ve also written to other mommybloggers. Everyone’s always been so nice, and I’m always amazed at how many people actually write me back with great stories.

Mommybloggers: Your blog is full of colorful descriptions and vivid details. Do you approach life from a writer's point of view, or do certain details from your day just leap out at you?

RIta: I can’t turn it off. I make people uncomfortable. Last week I noticed one of my male co-workers has started
shaving his arms, and I couldn’t help pointing it out.

Mommybloggers: We are so excited to meet you at BlogHer... you are going, aren't you? What are your goals for the conference?

RIta: Yes, I’m going! I’m so excited to meet some of the people I feel like I already know. I’m trying to build traffic for Surrender, Dorothy right now. I’m part of the BlogHer ad network and am working on a separate writing project that involves motherhood, so my first goal is to figure out this world and how I might live in it more fully in the future. You never know where life’s going to take you, but blogging has opened some writing doors for me and given me much more confidence to delve into certain subjects. See you there – I’ll be the one with the wine glass.

Mommybloggers: Finally, here are the questions that we subject all our interviewees to - a
la Inside The Actor's Studio:

What is your favorite parenting related word? reward

What is your least favorite parenting related word? night-time parenting

*What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Melonpicker (this is a substitute for "motherfucker")

What is your favorite hiding place in your home where you go to get away from it all? The Internet

What is the hiding place you have been found in too often and can no longeruse? my bed

If Oprah exists, what would you like her to say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? I loved your latest book.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

When we first stumbled into Surrender, Dorothy, we knew we had found a truly amazing writer. Rita, the blogger behind Surrender, Dorothy, never disappoints. Her no-holds-barred approach to blogging, coupled with her lyrical, detail-rich writing style has garnered her a large, appreciative audience.

We appreciate Rita's honest approach to her subjects, and the affection and respect that she conveys. Although we love her lighthearted looks into mothering a toddler, it is the entries where she rips off the pretty covering and reveals the depths of emotion that swirl beneath the surface - these are the entries that stay with us long after we've left her site.

We put out a call to some of her many fans, and asked them to share their thoughts on Rita's writing. They confirmed what we already know - Surrender, Dorothy is an addictive read. See what else they had to say about our featured guest:

Izzy recently discovered Rita, and was sucked into her tractor-beam:

I became a reader of Rita's through the BlogHer Ad Co-op and I was immediately hooked! There's something about her funny, friendly writing that makes me feel like I've known her for years : )

RachelS of Because I Have To is another recently recruited devotee of Rita's:

I am still fairly new to readig Rita's blog. But, from the very first time I read one of her entries, I identified with her right away. I love her writing style. Her blog is an absolulte joy to read and it's always nice to find another mom that shares you sense of humor and that you have something in common with. I look forward to reading Surrender Dorothy every day.

Mary Tsao of Mom Writes tells us what makes Rita's writing so special to her:

Rita of Surrender, Dorothy is a superb writer. She's sometimes funny and sometimes serious, and she's always readable, likeable, and relate-able, if that is a word. She just has a lot of wisdom and she's able to put it out there in her writing. Oh, and I love this tag line: "I'm a writer with a small child and no other creative outlets." So damn funny! And true! For me, too! Rita is a mommyblogger that I only recently discovered and I'm so glad that I did.

Mir gets all metaphor-ish on us with her glowing praise of Rita:

If Rita were a weaver, she'd be one who sits quietly in the corner, not talking or waving her arms and calling attention to herself, but just ever-so-steadily producing ever-more-intricate fabrics. You might not even notice her. But then when you do finally look over? She's surrounded by mountains of of breathtaking work. I have no idea how she keeps flying below the radar, but when her popularity explodes I am SO taking credit for having discovered her. ;)

Old Blonde One was happy to share why Surrender, Dorothy is a must read:

Rita is one of my favorites as her blog just draws me in to whatever event has happened to her that day. She is very creative in her style of writing as she weaves through her many experiences. The latest one I enjoyed was about the day Little Angel came home dressed in a strange outfit due to the fact that Rita had not sent extra clothes to daycare. She does not mince words; she just tells it as it is! Yes, I can't wait each day to find her next entry.

Cagey, at Rancid Raves, touches on Rita's ability to put herself out there:

Rita, hands down, is one of the most naked mommy bloggers out there! She is not afraid to put herself "out there" and reveal her true self. In particular, she has a special knack for introspection and tackling some of those innermost fears that as a new mother, I have started to discover for myself. It's comforting to know that I am not the only one with the very paranoias that I am afraid to even speak out loud.

Lisa Stone summed it up nicely:

Ahhhhh, Rita. What a writer. She's relentlessly organized, brings a global perspective to everyday events, and makes me pee my pants laughing. Flying monkeys? With one hand tied behind her back.

We love her. Her readers love her, too. Join us this afternoon as we sit down with Rita, and fall in love yourself.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)