Mommybloggers: So, Sweatpants Mom, huh? Tell us about the name of your blog.

Marsha: Okay, let me clear up a misconception. I don’t actually spend all day in my sweatpants. I’ve been known to throw on a pair of jeans and a blouse once in a while. Sometimes they’re even clean. I thought of calling my blog ‘WellGrooomed Mom’ but who needs that pressure. It’s all about lowering expectations. Now when people meet me and I don’t have toothpaste on my chin or I’m not wearing my pajamas they’re thrilled. What was the question again?

Mommybloggers: You crack us up every time we read you - your combination of dry wit and eye for the humor in any given situation makes your blog a joy. Have you always been a writer?

Marsha: Aside from the occasional copy line or witty email, I’ve been a graphic designer in the entertainment industry all my life and never wrote a single thing until around three years ago. Now I primarily write and take on only a few design jobs a year, but for some reason whenever anyone asks me what I do I say, “I’m a designer.� Obviously I don’t feel worthy of calling myself a writer yet. What’s up with that? Help me.

Mommybloggers: As the kicked-back mama of two girls,you often write about your style of parenting, and how it differs from what is expected these days. Do you get any flack from readers?

Marsha: I’ll occasionally get scolded by the righteous mom who thinks I should get off my lazy ass and get my girls into soccer, but otherwise I think most of my readers relate to what I’m saying and are somewhat relieved that they’re not alone. No one wants to be the only mom on the playground who didn’t serve their kid organic muesli for breakfast, or who opted to take everyone to the mall instead of to the noon showing of ‘Storybook King Lear.’ I’m thinking of starting an after-school ‘camp’ for like-minded parents and their kids who want to shun the whole über-parenting trend, but are afraid of becoming social pariahs. We’ll all pretend we’re shuttling the children to softball games or drama lessons but then everyone will just hang out at my house and drink coffee, eat junk food and refuse to talk to our kids about their feelings.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask - are you a "mommyblogger?" What do you think of the term?

Marsha: I am a mommyblogger, damnit! There’s a stigma attached to a lot of terms these days and I just don’t get it. Mommyblogger is a mom who blogs, for chrissake. I think it’s all in the way the term is presented. For instance, someone called me a “lady driver� the other day and the way he said it was so offensive, even though I am in fact, a lady who drives. Of course, I did just back over the guy’s foot but that’s beside the point.

Mommybloggers: We loves us some Prince, too - how is your plan to reform your children's musical tastes going?

Marsha: I’m losing ground fast. The little ingrates asked me to turn down “Purple Rain� the other day because they couldn’t hear their YouTube video of My Chemical Romance. They finally listened to some Janet Jackson recently, though. I found that withholding food for a few days really increases their appreciation of fine music.

Mommybloggers: What gets you really excited?

Marsha: Coffee. You think I’m joking.

Mommybloggers: What could you live your whole life never having to deal with?

Marsha: Cockroaches, junk mail and the mother of one of my daughter’s friends. You see there’s a theme here – none of them have any business being in my house.

Mommybloggers: Tell us something surprising, that your readers don't know about.

Marsha: It took me two months to get back to Mommybloggers with the answers to these questions, and theyre still speaking to me.

Mommybloggers: Your husband and daughters are often the subject of your posts. What do they think about the whole blog thing?

Marsha: My husband often thanks me for making him look so good in my stories, and he should. Because he’s really just a terrible person who usually brews the coffee too strong and makes a lot of noise washing dishes when I’m trying to sleep in.

As for my kids, I’ve actually told them they’re not allowed to read my blog, mainly because of the um, language I often use and the subject matter of some of my posts. When there’s a piece that I’ve written about them that I think is appropriate I print it out and let them read it. But they’re pretty savvy, and as they get older they’re getting suspicious of what I write about them; I think it’s only a matter of time before they go behind my back and read my archives. I’m hoping they’ll spend their computer time more wisely, hacking the school’s files or looking up bad words like normal kids do.

Mommybloggers: What won't you write about?

Marsha: There are certain things that my husband, kids, friends or family members do and then immediately say to me, “Do NOT put this on your blog� and I respect that. Like the time my husband got locked behind the gates of our storage space facility, I had to be sensitive and not write about it. Oh wait - I did. But you know, I got a crapload of hits on that post and a ton of comments so it’s really important to get your priorities straight and seize the moment.

Mommybloggers: So all of a sudden, we're seeing you everywhere. Tell us where we can get more of your writing.

Marsha: I spend an unhealthy amount of time writing about Angelina Jolie’s flat stomach and Britney Spears’ bad weave over on FameCrawler as well as on my two blogs, Sweatpantsmom and Views From The Pants. I also just got my first print byline in Genlux Magazine, where I interviewed Hayden Panetierre from the show Heroes. I have three thousand copies in my van if you’d like one.

Mommybloggers: What do you think about all these multiple-blog-having writers? Is quantity a good thing?

Marsha: Sure, why not? I personally can’t keep up with more than two blogs, but if you want to have sixty and can maintain them while remembering to shower and feed your kids, then I say more power to you. It’s like my motto as I’m going through the aisles of Costco, “Screw quality, go for the quantity.�

Mommybloggers: Where do you think this whole "mommyblogging" thing is heading - for you personally, and for the internet in general?

Marsha: I think the reach of not only mommybloggers but bloggers in general is just going to keep growing – in politics, advertising, and in media. People are starting to take notice of and appreciate the wide diversity of voices out there and the influence they can have. Let’s just remember to use our powers for good and not evil. And by that I mean putting an end to blogs about American Idol and Beanie Baby collections.

Mommybloggers: Aaaaand: Here are the questions we subject all of our victims, er, guests, to:

1. What is your favorite parent related word?
Goodnight.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
Catwhen. As in “You promised we could get a cat when can we get one?

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
We don’t really have any ‘substitute’ words we use around them, although we try not to let loose too often. It’s getting harder as they get older and the words have more weight. The other day my husband said ‘fuck’ in the car and you could have heard a pin drop. Finally my 9-year old said, “Dad, I’m SO disappointed in you.�

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
Sadly, the bathroom.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
See #4.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?
I’d like to hear her announce that we’re part of that annual show where everyone gets all the free stuff. I could really use a new blender.

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Welcome, Stefanie! Let's jump right in and get to know you better. You have said you don't like people who say "one thing to know about me." so, tell us 5 things we should know about you.

Stefanie: Well, since you asked…you probably should know that I’m addicted to carbs. I couldn’t last twenty minutes on the Adkins diet because my body craves hashbrowns like a heroin addict craves smack. Mmm…hot crispy hashbrowned potatoes…what else? I was the least popular person in my junior high school. It was just like Welcome To the Dollhouse and I was Weiner Dog. All right, stop crying! I’m over it. Pretty much. Let’s see, I’m a really big tipper, my breasts are real and I own a Celine Dion CD. There you go.

Mommybloggers What do you think of the term "mommyblogger" and do you consider yourself a "mommyblogger"?

Stefanie: My problem with the term mommyblogger is that it implies that the reason you are blogging is just to talk about being a mommy. The reason I wrote a book is because I was so horrified the second I popped out a kid, I felt that I was looked at solely as a mommy. I needed to get my perspective that you can still be edgy, swear and have sex with your husband while parenting your child at the same time. Okay, maybe not the sex part.

Mommybloggers How did you get into blogging and does it ever interfere with your book writing? Which is harder in your opinion?

Stefanie: I got into blogging because I needed an outlet in the first few months after giving birth. I was so damned anxious and felt I was going crazy from my new schedule of feed, cuddle, feed, sing, feed, check my email, feed, watch baby sleep, repeat. Once I got the book deal I stopped blogging until the first draft was done and then I went back to it. Writing a book is definitely a lot tougher than blogging. The trouble with blogging when I’m writing about parenting for a book is trying to save the material for the book instead of purging it right then and there. Sometimes I can look at a post and see the nugget for a chapter and that helps but then I have to take it down from the blog.

Mommybloggers: Your book Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom is a fantastically humorous read and one of the most honest looks at motherhood out there. What was the catalyst that caused you to take these thoughts and make a book out of them?

Stefanie: I have to say that I read a lot of books on pregnancy and the first year of motherhood and found most of them mind numbingly boring or terribly alarmist (mostly the preggo ones). I felt that despite the huge number of books offered on the market, I had yet to find one that captured my experience. I realize that not everyone has the same experience I do but walking through Target and seeing all the tired, expressionless moms, I knew I had to write something different. Something funny but not in an FM DJ way.

Mommybloggers: You received a lot of flak for the section of your book on breastfeeding. How did that effect you? Or did it?

Stefanie: It did affect me. I wanted to shake people when I read some of the harsh reviews and say, “you didn’t even read the book you moron.� A lot of people who came down hard on my book based it on that one chapter. If they’d actually taken the time to read it, it would’ve saved them the time it took to wrongly tear it and me apart. I never say that anyone shouldn’t breast-feed. My point is that for the people who are having a tough time of it and want to stop, they shouldn’t let people make them feel guilty. I wasted too much time on guilt when I could’ve been enjoying my baby. Now, I just don’t care anymore. Breast-feeding is just one of those politically charged topics although I don’t know why, that get the crazies out writing letters. Hey, why not protest the war and forget about my boobs for awhile.

Mommybloggers: Since then, have you ever felt the need to censor your words either on your blog or in your books?

Stefanie:I don’t feel the need to censor. Obviously I struck a chord. And in doing so, must’ve helped some people. If people don’t have a strong response to your writing (good or bad), you aren’t writing anything interesting.

Mommybloggers: Your book was featured on The Today Show (Go Stef!). So tell us, is Matt Lauer as buff as People magazine makes him out to be?

Stefanie: I didn’t see Matt let alone speak to him but I will say that Natalie Morales is skinnier and prettier in person if that’s even possible. Bitch.

Mommybloggers: Later you were featured in a follow up segment on Cocktail Moms. Why do you think they came to you as a follow up Mom to talk about this issue?

Stefanie: Cause I’m funny. Hello? And probably because they wanted someone opinionated. When they came to me the second time I believe they just wanted to lighten the topic up after all the flak they received for the first airing. Being a comedian, they figured I’d bring the funny. I’ll admit it was a bit tough with the stuffy psychologist but I did my best.

Mommybloggers: Do you have any advice for someone who is asked to be interviewed for television?

Stefanie: Yes. Know that people always have an agenda. As a former producer myself, I know that no one is asking you to be on a show because they think you’re cute. It’s all about the rating and controversy gets ratings. The best advice I can offer is know what you’re in for and be prepared. If a producer is making you feel uncomfortable before you go on, you can back out. People do it all the time. Case in point: after all the Today Show nonsense, I got a call from the Montel Williams Show. Being the whore that I am, I told my publishing company (Simon Spotlight) that I’d be excited and happy to do it. But when I spoke to the producer at length, all she wanted was to portray me as the alcoholic mom. I told her that I wasn’t interested in revisiting that again but she pushed. Finally she relented and tried to get me to be the anti breast feeding mom. After talking to her politely for another few minutes, I got off the phone with a bad feeling. I didn’t want to judge anyone else’s parenting and I didn’t want anyone judging mine whether or not it would help sell books. I didn’t go on the show and I have no regrets.

Mommybloggers: Okay, we are intrigued and must hear more about it: Tell us about your live show you do in LA called Nobody Likes A Yappy Skirt.

Stefanie: Yappy Skirts is a live reading show for women. I love a confessional story and I love to share mine but the competition in LA is fierce. So after having a piece of mine turned down from five different reading shows, I just decided to produce my own damn show!! It’s easier than you’d think.

Mommybloggers: What is your opinion on the so-called Mommy Wars?

Stefanie: I truly think it’s all bullshit and that the world would be a better place if mothers would try supporting each other’s choices. Unless that choice is going back to work. What kind of horrible parent does that?

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret about you that no one knows?

Stefanie: I’m pregnant.

Mommybloggers: Are you serious?!

Stefanie: I am a comedian. What do you think?

Mommybloggers: We think that is mean.

Stefanie: *laughing*

Mommybloggers: Talk to us about your next book. What's the name and can you tell us what it is about?

Stefanie: My next book which will be out next March is entitled Naptime Is the New Happy Hour. It’s about all the ways that parenting a toddler turns your life upside down no matter how devoted you are to staying the same. You can expect more of the same snarkiness and opinions.

Mommybloggers: What advice would you give to an aspiring writer who wants to write a book?

Stefanie:Hmm…I get asked this one a lot. All I can tell you is honesty and misery are what sells. Have you ever been a prostitute? Done crack? Lost custody of your child due to getting caught doing the first two? The world wants to hear about it. Otherwise, you need to make your story sound as juicy as possible.

Mommybloggers: Can we come over for a Moms Night Out? Because you are one hilarious and fun woman!

Stefanie: Please do. I rarely can find a sitter who’s available so that works out perfectly.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Naptime!

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
I’ll give you a few: Binky – that word just sounds obnoxious, Tushy – especially when you stop using it on your kids and transfer it to your husband, and lastly Yummy. It just sounds corny.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around
children?
Fudge packer! My daughter’s too young to know what I’m talking about and how wrong that is. Which makes it all the more fun to say.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
My bed. That’s what high thread count is for.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
The bathroom. If I’m in there, there may as well be a sign that says, “I’m pooping! Come on in!�

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 2:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

We caught up with Jill Asher, Beth Blecherman and Tekla Nee over margaritas one night at Compadres in Palo Alto - and this is what they had to say for themselves:

Mommybloggers: Tell us where you got the idea for SV Moms?

SV Moms: We had ten minutes of time one day in 2006 and thought, “Gee, we don’t know what to do with ALL this free time!.� Forget the fact that we ran PTA’s, work (and actually paid for the work we do) and chauffeur our kids from one activity to the next. We decided to create a collaborative blog and invite our friends. To our surprise and delight, it resonated with a lot of local silicon valley moms and quickly exceeded our expectations. We have connected with so many incredible women in Silicon Valley and beyond and are thrilled with how our adventure in blogging is turning out. We can’t wait to see what happens next……

Mommybloggers: Have you always been writers, or is blogging a new passion?

SV Moms: Tekla received her first rejection slip from Random House at age five. It did not dissuade her. She has been writing ever since and usually gets paid a lot more than she does for blogging.. Beth Blecherman is not a “real� writer and just likes playing with Typepad blogging technology. Jill Asher loves to write about her “perfect� parenting experiences and always enjoys venting on her daily posts. Pamela Hornik loves to blog about fashion, shopping and enjoys writing about her weekly trip to Anthropologie as blogging therapy.

Mommybloggers: What do you think of the term "mommyblogger" - are you mommybloggers?

SV Moms: You can call us whatever you want, as long as you read Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Mommybloggers: SV Moms receives a lot of press - do you have any hints for bloggers who would like to become more media savvy?

SV Moms: Don’t be afraid to reach out to the press. Most people in the media are looking for a story. If a post is timely, forward it to your friends, email lists and local press. They want to hear from you.

Mommybloggers: Soapbox or sounding board? What impact do you want SV Moms to have?

SV Moms: Neither. We are more like a chick flick. We will make you laugh, cry and most of all, feel like you are not alone.

Mommybloggers: Tell us more about your writers. It seems like you've got quite a broad spectrum of experience and backgrounds.

SV Moms: We range in age from 20-something to the 60-plus. We have Ph.Ds, MD’s, MBA’s, MILFs, SAHMs, WAHMs and thank you mams! We have over educated chauffeurs, PTA leaders and PTA dropouts, crackberry addicts, ex-models , high power executives, Lawyers and even moms that make their own play-doh. How is that for an interesting mix?

Mommybloggers: Now that you've established yourselves in Silicon Valley, we hear that there are additional plans in the works. Anything you can share?

SV Moms: We are in the process of launching our first sister site, The Chicago Moms Blog in June 2007. Stay tuned! More cities to come shortly.

Mommybloggers: Where do you think blogging is headed? What's next?

SV Moms: Blogging is going to put a large number of therapists out of business in the near future as moms find each other through blogs and social network sites.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about this fantastic contest you've got going on SV Moms.

SV Moms: We have assembled over one thousand dollars worth of goods and services to makeover one lucky mom that lives in Silicon Valley. Moms tend to put themselves last and we want to put a mom first. (editor note: we'll update with the contest linkage and entry info as soon as we get it. MB)

What is your favorite parenting-related word?

Goodnight

What is your least favorite parenting-related word?

Perfect. (Our motto: If you think you are, keep it to yourself!)

What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

WTF!

What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

In Silicon Valley, there is no place to hide. We live in millions dollar shacks smaller than the typical midwest garage.

If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

These women will promise NOT to jump on my sofa.

We're continuing our celebration of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog all week - check back as we feature some of the great content that SV Moms is known for! Can't wait? Jump over to their site and say hello!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: From a couple of Jennifers to another - who nicknamed you Jennster?

Jennster: i have always been a radio whore. i love love love the radio, and ever since i was super young, i would call in and talk to the dj's, be on the air, etc. so one time in LA, i called kiis fm and i was in a contest- the dj called me jennster and it stuck! that was many moons ago when i was in high school, but the name has been with me ever since!!!! :)

Mommybloggers: How did you get into blogging? Has writing always been a part of your life?

Jennster: i don't know if writing has really always been a part of my life. i mean, i have always kept journals for myself, but as far as writing for other people or an audience- no. i got into blogging because my grandfather is at home and he is on the computer a lot, reading blogs, etc- so i decided to start one for him.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about the young Jennster - tell us about where you grew up, and what kind of kid you were?

Jennster: young jennster. um, i think she was the same as the old jennster- just shorter. lol i grew up in southern california in what i always considered a small city (that has grown incredibly since)... i lived in the same house my whole life. what kind of kid was i? this is definitely a question for my mom... let me call her... she says "jennster was the neighborhood greeter.. she got mad when she got a lump of coal for christmas.. was always cheerful and pleasant and outgoing."

Mommybloggers: We have to ask - what do you think about the term "mommyblogger?" Are you a mommyblogger?

Jennster: i don't see what everyone's problem is with the word. it's a freaking WORD people. get over it. am i mommy blogger? sure. i'm a mom. and i blog. but i'm also a hot piece of ass, so that makes me a hotassblogger too. not to mention a superfuncrazyblogger, and a soontobemarriedblogger, and a iwantapuppyblogger.. and so on and so forth.

Mommybloggers: You are juggling a career, single-parenting, and planning your upcoming wedding - and yet you seem to be the happiest woman on the planet. In fact, we'd wager that you have more fun than anyone. What is your secret?

Jennster: HA! the secret's in the sauce! :) no really, no secret. it's just my personality and pretty much my outlook on life in general. i'm all about having fun and being happy and positive. do i have bad days? of course. do i hate the world somedays? you betcha! but for the most part, i just have fun in everything i do because that's how i want to live my life! you know?

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your radio show - when will you be back on the air?

Jennster: ah, my radio show. you see, i love radio. it's a part of who i am. i have always wanted to be a dj. that was my major in college. i have worked in numerous radio stations in california. i freaking rock on the air and i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get a paid gig being on the radio. BUT, the blog talk radio stuff is pretty hard. i have to take time out and away from my family when i do it, and sometimes, it's just not worth it. now i totally love it when i'm on the air, talking and taking calls. it is SO.MUCH.FUN!!!!!! but i found myself really stressed out the days i would have a show set, and i found myself not wanting to do it. that's when i knew i wasn't ready and needed a break. maybe after the wedding is over?

Mommybloggers: What does your family think of your blog?

Jennster: as far as i know, my family is cool with my blog. i think they like it. i know they read it. i don't think i've pissed anyone off yet... but give me time.

Mommybloggers: You're incredibly open and honest - is there anything off-limits? What won't you write about?

Jennster: while i am pretty open and honest, and you might not believe this- i DO write within some limits. depending on the subject and the fact that i know who reads my blog, i definitely word things gentler than i would otherwise. if i thought no one was reading my blog, it would be a tad harsher at times. as far as anything being completely off limits- i definitely think that work issues are something i steer away from. i do have much to say, but people at my work read my blog and so i can't talk about things the that i'd like too.

Mommybloggers: How did you get into off-roading? What other adventurous activities do you enjoy?

Jennster: have you seen the man i'm marrying?? he is how i got into offroading. he wheels his truck and i go along for the ride. i love it though! it is so much fun and we get to see such incredibly beautiful places that we would NEVER get to see otherwise. i love it! i freaking love quad riding- we totally want some! i would love to have a dirtbike! can't you see me hauling ass on a motorbike, getting stuck in mud somewhere? oh wait, that already happened. lol

Mommybloggers: Where else can we get our Jennster fix?

Jennster: you can always come stalk me. i'm sure that would be pretty exciting! you can stare at numerous pictures of me on my personal website (www.jennster.com).. you can move closer to me and we can go out and party like rockstars!

What is your favorite parenting-related word?

wait. i'm supposed to have a favorite parenting related word? WHY? good lord WHY would i have a favorite WORD?!?!! whenever y'all wrote and passed out the good mom handbook, you forgot about me.

What is your least favorite parenting-related word?

again with the word thing! how about all the abbreviations for things?? i hate that we call breast feeding bf'ing.. because any girl in her right mind knows that BF stands for best friend. and you're not best friending your kid through your boobs dammit. and i hate the DD, DH, DS crap. bullshit. you're not calling your daughter, dear daughter.. or dear husband.. or dear son. give me a break with that.

What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

i have the best self censor in the world! which for any of you who know me in real life, know this is a true challenge. i'm the biggest potty mouth of them all- but add blake in the mix, all curse words are out the door and definitely not out of my mouth. so i don't really have to creative anything. i'm just that good. oh yeah.

What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

wait... you can hide in your home? i'm coming over. i suppose i could start hiding in the closet or something??? basically, i just go upstairs and tell boyfriend he must stay downstairs.... that works pretty well. he's a good listener.

What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

LOL- it does not work that way in this house. if mommy wants to hide, mommy gets to hide. and there is NO exceptions. *hear me roar*

If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

so you're telling me oprah doesn't exist? she's not real? she's a figment of my imagination?!?!?!!!!
well if i was on the show and she was introducing me, i'd love to hear her say.. "and let's welcome jennster.... she's super fun, crazy, a little insane, but we love her...
and she's the only white girl with a ghetto bootie like this.. j-lo eat your heart out!!!!"

Check back tomorrow for a superfuncrazy blog entry from Jennster herself. Can't wait until then? Go visit!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 5:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Queen of Spain, huh? Tell us why.

Erin: My attitude got me the name. I was being rather demanding about how large and obnoxious my engagement ring must be and a friend (the goon squad's dad) said "Who the F*&^% do you think you are? The Queen of Spain????!!!"
A legend was born.

Mommybloggers: We love your candid, intense and provocative writing style. Is there anything you consider off-limits?

Erin: NOTHING is off limits. Nothing goes through a filter. Nothing is censored. Huh, should it be? Hahaha. I know the risks are big, but that is how I think and how I talk and what comes out. Sure I regret it sometimes, but its the good and the bad.

Mommybloggers: Have you always been a writer? Do you think that motherhood has changed your 'voice?'

Erin: Yes, have always been a writer, but I was always writing news. Very, very straight news. How boring, right? Motherhood has given me the opportunity to say all those things I could not say while just doing news.

Mommybloggers: How did you get into blogging?

Erin: Sarah got me into blogging. She was doing it and I KNEW I wanted to do it too. I am such a sucker for doing whatever the cool kids are doing.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask...what do you think of the term "mommyblogger?" Are you a mommyblogger?

Erin: Damn right I'm a Mommyblogger. I don't care what you call me. Whore. Slut. Mommyblogger. It is all true.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your formative years...where did you grow up? What kind of kid were you?
Erin: I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit and I was a pain in the ass then too. I HAD to be Princess Leia and I beat up my little brother a lot. I did well in school, editor of my HS paper, on the student council and I played basketball. Which means all cheerleaders can kiss my ass.

Mommybloggers: Your letter to Michelle Obama was picked up by several major media sources - were you surprised by the attention?

Erin: What surprised me was it was THAT post that got all the attention. I understand why-but I've written so many others worthy of people FREAKING out and totally failing to understand. Sheesh.

Mommybloggers: What are your goals for your writing?

Erin: My goals are to be able to have every parent in the world listening to me, drinking my kool-aid, and then giving me all their money.

Mommybloggers: Do you have other projects in the works? Where else can we read you?

Erin: My projects in the works are never-ending. Right now you can read me at QofS of course, and the Huffington Post, and Dotmoms and Blogher. And yes, there is a top secret project in the works that involves me spilling some really, really juicy things...stay tuned.

Mommybloggers: What are you passionate about?

Erin: sex and food and good wine

Mommybloggers: What surprises you?

Erin: Not much surprises me, except when people betray me. For some reason I am a big believer in the goodness of people and when they cross me, I'm always totally SHOCKED.

Mommybloggers: Let's talk Second Life...why should we join up right now? What does one have to do to get thrown off your private island?

Erin: YOU MUST join SecondLife right now for a MILLION reasons. First of all, it takes away all this comment BS we leave for eachother and gets us all TALKING to eachother in person and in real time. Its the next level of our community. We can hang out together even if you are some crazy Canadian and I am some hippie California chick. NOW the really good part is we can go shopping and clubbing and drinking and house decorating and whatever your mind can imagine. And it's SL, the only thing you could really do to get thrown off my islands would be to cross the Queen. And even then I don't handle it, I have my security team come rough you up.

Mommybloggers: Are you headed to BlogHer this summer?

Erin: HELL YES I'm coming to BLOGHER this summer. I can't wait. And I am coming WITHOUT the kids this year, so um...someone warn the greater Chicago area.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret.

Erin: tee hee hee. I can't. I really, really cant. I have none. They are all on my blog ;)

1. What is your favorite parent related word? BEDTIME 2. What is your least favorite parent related word? --wait---can it be two? Because then is "I WANT..." 3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? um...I don't have one. We all know I swear too much. Face of an angel, mouth like a trucker. (my new favorite phrase as told to me by my mother's best friend!)

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? Hiding place? Is this a cruel joke? Do other moms really have hiding places?

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? Hi Ms. Winfrey, nice to meet you...what the HELL took you so long bitch? And let's talk diet and those Oprah earrings I soooo love. Help me get skinny and then give me those diamond teardrop suckers. I want them. Come on, we all know you can buy more. And they really would look sooo good on my ears. Please? Thanks. And can you call my husband and tell him I really want to adopt a child from Africa? You can talk him into it, I know you can. Ask him to get the kids a dog too while you are at it...might as well go for broke.

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Mommybloggers: How did you get into blogging? Have you always been a writer?

Elizabeth: I started blogging in August of 2005 while on bedrest with my third pregnancy. I had started noticing that blogs were being mentioned online and in magazines, so I started reading them. My first blog was Dooce, then Fussy and Finslippy. I wanted to see how easy it was to get a blog, so I logged in to Blogger and created one. And that was how I got hooked. As for being a writer, I was an English Major in college, so I wrote hundreds of papers over four years. I had two professors in particular that were very hard on me, made me really think about the process of writing. I guess I have them to thank!

Mommybloggers: Now be honest, how many times a day do you think about blogging?

Elizabeth: Oh, this is embarassing. I think about blogging ALL THE TIME. There are days where I log in at 8:00 a.m. and spend literally the whole day writing, commenting, posting, replying to emails, building up my traffic, giving reciprocal links, and thinking about post topics. I think about blog topics while doing housework, while driving in the car, sometimes as I'm falling asleep at night. Seriously, it's an addiction.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask – what do you think about the term "Mommyblogger?" Do you embrace it, or reject it?

Elizabeth: I'd like to answer this question by asking you to click this link. I wrote this post the day I got back from BlogHer '06, and it is all about how proud I am to be a Mommyblogger!

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your background. What kind of kid were you? Where did you grow up? When you looked into your future, what did you want to be?

Elizabeth: I grew up the youngest of three children. My Mother was an elementary school teacher, and my Father started out as a Junior High School teacher, and then spent the rest of his career working for the Michigan Education Association and the National Education Association. We moved around a lot as my Dad took different job positions, so I lived in Jackson, Grand Rapids, Bloomfield Hills, and Okemos, all in Michigan. I was a BOOKWORM. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. I originally wanted to be a Librarian, and sometimes I feel like I missed my chance in college. I started out as a Sociology Major at my first college, but then I transferred to Michigan State, which has an excellent Library Science Major. I still wish I could be a Librarian, or work at Barnes and Noble.

Mommybloggers: Give us seven words that describe you:

Elizabeth: Impatient, Disorganized, Emotional, Loving, Friendly, Devoted, Enthusiastic.

Mommybloggers: Where do you think blogging is headed? What about internet celebrity? What impact can online writers expect to have on the world?

Elizabeth: I think blogging is becoming the way we communicate with the rest of the world. Not only does blogging give people a voice, but it lets them connect with people they would most likely never have a chance to meet otherwise. Blogging is how news, information and opinions are being shared and spread. As for internet celebrities, I honestly think that the reason there are "A-list" bloggers is because they have something special that sets them apart. I also think it's important to remember that whether or not someone is an "internet celebrity", they are still a person who deserves to be treated with respect. By the way, I LOVE the term "online writers" as opposed to "bloggers". In my opinion, everyone who publishes original content is a writer. They have to think up a title, a beginning, a middle, and an end, and that is WRITING. Don't sell yourself short-if you blog, you are making an impact on the future of communication!

Mommybloggers: What do you think of the blogging lists, awards and best of's?

Elizabeth: This is an interesting question, because I just wrote another post you should read, http://table4five.net/2007/04/09/lists-are-dumb-when-youre-not-on-them/. After whining about how I was never given any awards by other bloggers, I half-jokingly said I was going to create the "Elizabeth thinks I ROCK" award to give to deserving bloggers of my own choosing. And then, I did! But honestly, I think it's great that bloggers recognize each other for the work they put into their posts.

Mommybloggers: What is one thing about you that people don't know that may shock or surprise us?

Elizabeth: I really couldn't think of anything, so I asked my husband, and he said to tell you that despite my mild-mannered housewife exterior, I am actually quite raunchy during sex. Well, you asked! And, I curse like a sailor. Give me a few drinks and you'll see what I mean.

Mommybloggers: Is there any topic that you are so passionate about that you would go to the mat on your blog for regardless of what other people think or say?

Elizabeth: The topic that comes to mind is the subject of unwanted pregnancy. I believe that no woman should have a child that they do not want or can not adequately care for. There are too many childless couples in this country who are desperate to be parents.

Mommybloggers: You've blogged that your son has ADHD. Do you feel the stigma of that label is wearing off or are you concerned about the label? What steps do you take to help him through this?

Elizabeth: I have no problem telling my son's teachers and support staff that he has been diagnosed with ADHD. We are fortunate to have our kids in a school district that devotes considerable resources and staff to helping ADHD kids get what they need in the classroom. However, my son gets very upset whenever we mention it to him or in front of him. He does not want to be different from other kids, despite us telling him that there are other kids in his school with ADHD, he just doesn't know about it. Besides seeing our Pediatrician for medication, we will also starting a daily study period for Nathan, to help him build good study habits now so that he is better prepared for later grades when so much more school work is done at home. I am anticipating having some battles over it.

Mommybloggers: Okay, if we dropped in for coffee is there a room that is off limits because it is too private/messy/not for guests?

Elizabeth: I would be MORTIFIED if someone just "dropped in". My friends and family know better! But if you did, the living room, kitchen and bathroom are generally fit for public viewing. They aren't CLEAN, but they are generally presentable.

Mommybloggers:And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Mama

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Blood.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Um, I don't censor myself. My kids have heard me say every curse word in the book.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? Our basement, where there is a rocking chair, computer stand, TV, and Xbox.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? My bedroom. Every time I try to lay on the bed and read a book, someone manages to get in anyway.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? Elizabeth, "Clean Sweep" is coming to your house to completely reorganize every single room. While they are doing that, we are sending you to Oceanside, California for a week to lie on the beach.

Check back tomorrow as we turn Mommybloggers.com over to the raucous Elizabeth of Table4Five.

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Mommybloggers: Welcome, Jessica! Tell us about the name of your blog…why Kerflop?

Jessica: I started blogging (publicly anyway) at Very Mom and after a couple years, I had an identity crisis. I wanted to change the way I was writing and what I was writing about and while I could certainly do that at my current domain, I started itching for a new one. I took a long break and came back with a different web design, but it still felt all wrong. I sat in front of a domain registrar and punched in every ridiculous, meaningless name I could think of - it seemed like everything was taken. I was aiming for something without the word "mom" in it and something that could umbrella a wider range of topics. Not that you can't write about web Jessica: standards as a mom, it was just sort of a mental block for me. I tried everything from tomatosoup.com to kerplunk.com and somehow found kerflop, which was amazingly available.

And look, I still write about my kids but it just feels better.
>
Mommybloggers:You're an amazing artist, craft maven, design pro, and business person, in addition to being a gifted writer. So often, mothers of young children struggle to find the time to pursue artistic expression. Motherhood doesn't seem to have slowed you down. Have you always had this much energy?

Jessica: Have I always been a hyperspaztick-nutsoid? Why yes, I'm afraid I have. When I was a little girl, I got one of those complex dollhouse kits for my birthday. It had all these little pieces that needed to be sanded and carefully glued together. The house needed to be shingled and painted and all the furniture pieces had to be constructed. I wallpapered it and carpeted it and made additional furniture out of cardboard. I completed it in two days. I worked in the garage and only went inside at my mother's pleading to eat and sleep. I've always had to have a project going. Always. If there's nothing to do, I start taking apart appliances to see how they work. I've been told there is medication for this.

It's always a struggle to juggle everything. I never envisioned motherhood this way, I was all for the dreamy pie in the sky 1950's version of homemaking. I wanted the aprons and the homemade cookies. I had no desire whatsoever to be a business woman or know anything about computers. I sort of fell into it and just keep trying to keep the plates spinning. If I'm doing well in one area, another area is suffering. Feminists everywhere will get their panties in a knot, but I really don't think you can have it all. At least not without acres and acres of cash to spend on nannies and housekeepers. If I'm knee deep in shop inventory, I guarantee nobody will have clean underpants and my oldest will be wearing pajama bottoms to pre-school.

Mommybloggers: How did you get into blogging? Have you always been a writer?

Jessica: My first child was still a tiny baby and my husband and I had launched our fabric business. We were working out of a rented town home that boasted a one car garage. It was filled to bursting with rolls of fabric. More fabric filled the spare bedroom, hallway, and sat in the front room. We had two desks crammed up against our sofa and I worked almost around the clock. I'd bounce my son on my lap at two in the morning while I taught myself HTML so I could figure out how to maintain our website. One night, my kitchen was overrun with ants and I just felt so exhausted. My son had taught himself to crawl while I toiled away on the computer. I opened a free blogger account and just started brain dumping. Customers thought I had it all together, marveled at how I could run a successful business and be a loving sling wearing, cloth diapering momma all at the same time.

They needed to know the answer to the question, "How do you do it all?" was, "I'm not. I can't."

I have always written, though I still refuse to call myself a writer. People who never proofread aren't writers. People who have no idea where to insert a semi colon aren't writers. My mom used to sit down with me every day and record the things I said in a blue journal. When I learned to write, I took over. I wrote faithfully every single day until I got married. You can see the impressive collection of what should be burned immediately here.

Mommybloggers:Your stories always sparkle with warmth and affection. With your family reading, as well as thousands of virtual strangers, do you feel leery about sharing your family stories and photos?

Jessica: I do. It was one of the things that changed when I switched domain names. I deleted a lot of my older archives and censor myself a great deal when it comes to my children. I think about how mortified I was when I overheard my mother talking about how I was going through a phase with one of her friends. I don't ever want my children to feel embarrassment over what I've written about them on the internet, though I do realize they'll go through a stage where the air will embarrass them. I try to think about what I would have liked to read if my mother had kept a journal, and maybe some things they'll have to learn to appreciate as they get older. But absolutely, I am much more cautious than I was in the beginning and protect many of my flickr photos so only family members can see.

Mommybloggers:We have to ask – what do you think about the term "Mommyblogger?" Do you embrace it, or reject it?

Jessica: I've gone back and forth on this. On one hand I feel like the word "mommy" is such an intimate word. Small people I drive myself crazy serving every single day are entitled to call me this. I don't like hearing myself called a "mommyblogger" when someone says it in a sneering, condescending way. However, "Blogs Written by Women who are Also Mothers" is just too darn long to say. Or type. And there are a lot of us for a reason. Motherhood can feel so isolating, I think we as women tend to be so hard on ourselves, feel like everyone out there has it all together while we alone sit amidst our dirty laundry crying about the melted popcicle on the kitchen floor. Mommyblogs unify mothers in a way that just wasn't possible before this whole self publishing world exploded on the scene. And in that regard, I embrace the term.

Mommybloggers:What is the greatest benefit to maintaining your own blog? Have you discovered any negatives?

Jessica: Before I started deleting my old archives, I used www.blogprinting.com to publish all of my writings. Since I manage to keep up the baby books next to never, I'm so happy I have a record of some of the hardest years of my life (so far). I think record keeping is important, I would have loved to read my mom's writings from when she was struggling through her initiation into parenthood. Maybe my kids will appreciate all this stuff someday too.

Negatives? Oy, the hate mail, though I haven't gotten any in quite a while (knock on wood), it's amazing how a bit of anonymous venom can really punch you in the stomach and suck the wind right out of you. It sucketh royally.

Mommybloggers:Tell us about your background. What kind of kid were you? Where did you grow up? When you looked into your future, what did you want to be?

Jessica: I was really awkward. I wish I had an older sister to sort of guide me through all of those horrible adolescent years, but I had to power thorough on my own. I just die when I read my old journals from back then. Popularity was so important and such a struggle, it's painful to read. I grew up in a suburb of Salt Lake City, Utah. My parents were strict, but awesome. I am very close to all 3 of my siblings and my mom is my best friend.

I wanted to be a nurse from the time I was about 3. I didn't finish nursing school and often contemplate figuring out how I could go back. But then, I also contemplate how to muster up the energy to get out of bed in the morning.

Mommybloggers:What are you passionate about?

Jessica: My beautiful children and model husband give me the courage to face each new day of ketchup flinging and diaper changing so I must be passionate about them or I would have flung myself off a building long, long ago. I of course, champion the use of re-suable cloth diapers and work hard to convince everyone owning a Dyson is the best $500 you can spend, ever. I'm also insanely uptight about web standards. So don't ever ask me what I think of your website unless you're ready for a power point presentation. Oh and loving the skin you're in. Nothing chaps my hide quicker than a perfectly lovely woman with gorgeous, realistic curves whining about how fat she is. And world peace! Has anyone made that joke already?

Mommybloggers:Give us seven words that describe you:

Jessica: I just can't do this one. I just keep thinking about my bad haircut I got recently and I want to type "bad haircut" over and over and over.

Mommybloggers:Please tell us we'll see you at BlogHer this summer… you are going, right? RIGHT?

Jessica: Eep! I'm not sure. My husband and I were considering going together, after all it isn't often you get a chance to boogie it up at the W. But it's all up in the air, so we shall see.

Mommybloggers:Where do you think blogging is headed? What about internet celebrity? What impact can online writers expect to have on the world?

Jessica: It's been amazing to watch so far, I couldn't possibly make any predictions. It's been fun to watch the publishing tools expand and grow and watch the powerbloggers get media attention, money, and fame. Corporations have blogs now, and television show hosts, it's all just incredible.

After an experience last year when I skyrocketed from my piddly 3000 pageviews a day to 11,000 - I have absolutely no desire to become an internet celebrity. The crazies that come out of the woodwork when you're getting that much traffic is insane.

I think the impact they already have is pretty amazing. You can't watch the news without a blogger getting a mention anymore, I think blogging really has given a voice to the people that can't be ignored. Well, some of the more exciting potty training blogging maybe can be ignored. But only if you're more interested in the 2008 presidency and pshaw, who cares about that? Bring on the training pants.

Mommybloggers:We know you have a number of projects in the works – what can we look forward to hearing more about?

Jessica: If I told you, I'd have to kill you! (she laughs shrilly and uncomfortably). Who knows, really. If I start thinking about all the things I want to do, my head explodes. I'd like to create more free Wordpress themes and continue boring my audience with some CSS and design tutorials. All the while shouting about web standards and how important it is to validate your XHTML. I know, you can hardly wait, right?

Mommybloggers:And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Poopoo. I'm sorry, but when my kids are around 16, 17 months old and they're learning to communicate verbally more and more, one of the first words they learn is poopoo. And I can't even stand it, the cuteness of the pursed lips and the concentration on their faces. I especially love when they start telling me they need to go. I start sitting them on the toilet as soon as they have the word associated with the actual act. And my kids have all trained really early. I know, go me, right? HAND ME A MEDAL.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
Poopoo when we're in the middle of a long line at Target, miles away from the restroom and I've left the diapers and wipes in the car.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
My whole life is creative censored curse words. Growing up in a family where cursing was not acceptable, I've only ever let the occasional "H" and "D" slip for real. My life is full of "OH MY HECK" and "FREAKING FRACKING FREAK!" and a family favorite, "BOOGERS AND CHEESE!"

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
The front room. If I curl up with a magazine on the sofa in there, I quite possibly won't be found for a solid 8 minutes.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
The bathroom. That is the first place they look.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

"Hey, [Jessica / Kerflop], you have treated people with such care, tender care, and kindness. You smell like flowers."
Points if you can name the reference:

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Deborah, thank you for allowing us the chance to interview you!

Deborah: Thank you! I'm glad to be here.

Mommybloggers: You've had a wide-ranging writing career, covering everything from politics to family life. How did you get started with blogging?

Deborah: I had worked as a journalist for many years, but after my kids came along I was mostly a full-time mommy. Then Chris Nolan, with whom I've been friends for many, many moons now, was starting Spot-on, the political and social commentary site, and she said, "Come write." That was just about the time after my younger son was born when I was starting to lift my head up and see the world was still out there. So I thought, "Hmm, write about
what interests me, that sounds good." And it is a lot of fun, certainly more fun than covering U.S. Commerce Department trade statistics at 7 a.m. for example.

Mommybloggers: With your pithy observations on the latest news items, you never fail to make us think. And laugh. Do you find that living outside the U.S. has sharpened your focus on the absurdities of life here?

Deborah: Well thank you. Yes, and I can also tie a scarf. Let's be clear - that part's sarcasm. Despite several years of living in Europe there's no way I could ever even think about trying one of those chic scarf tricks.

I'm living in Spain now; my husband's Spanish and we've been able to alternate living in the U.S. and Europe, although we'll see how that all works out now that we have kids. Living abroad at the least gives me a different model to, as they say on the final exam, compare and contrast. When I lived in the States, for example, I worried about what kind of organized activities my kids should do even as babies and toddlers. When we moved here I asked about activities for two-year-olds and people just looked at me. There's nothing, unless you can find a group of American expat mothers who've set up kinder music or something. Instead, you've got more family around if mom or baby needs stimulation. So of course living abroad makes you think about some of the things that are implicit in U.S. culture.

But I think a lot of writers feel they have some kind of outsider's perspective, for whatever reason. Look at a mommyblog, for example, where the writer feels different because she's surrounded by all these PTA übermoms while her chocolate chip cookies look like cow patties. You need some perspective, some kind of distance, however you feel it or create it, to write.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about Moral Certainty Mommy, whose righteous statements are responsible for several cups of coffee being sprayed at the monitor. Where did she come from?

Deborah: Oh boy, I don't know. She's not me, really. At least I don't think she is. Basically she's someone who looks at some of the current ideas about what good parenting is and what a good mother should do and says, "I totally agree. What's in it for me?"

Mommybloggers: Let's talk about the term "mommyblogging" for a minute. What comes to mind when you hear it? Are you a mommyblogger?

Deborah: Well, since I actually read mommybloggers, not to mention Mommybloggers, for me it's a female parent writing about whatever. Mommyblogs are one of those things I discovered when I noticed the world was still out there, and it's been such a treat to find all this superb writing on parents and kids and all sorts of other topics.

Certainly I've seen some of the conversation about people who dismiss mommyblogging as trivial. My feeling is that some of the critics simply haven't read the great stuff that's out there on both light and heavy subjects. And unfortunately there's nothing new in dismissing what women do as trivial.

Personally I love the term "mommy," and I'm going to miss it when my kids grow out of it. Being a mother is so intrinsic a part of my identity now that, although I might write more or less about specifically parental topics, motherhood is always lurking back there - just as being a woman is, being a daughter, being an American, growing up in the suburbs, being almost 5'2'', or whatever else there is that shapes my point of view. As an old newspaper type though, I have more problems with the term blogger - I think of what I do as writing a column. I did finally get rid of my typewriter though, now that computers seem to be here to stay.

Mommybloggers: Online journaling is going mainstream - what do you think is next for this medium?

Deborah: Good question. Umm? Certainly more and more people getting involved, both as writers and readers. And because there's so much out there, maybe more places like Mommyblogger, or like Spot-on for commentary and reporting, places that group different points of view and help provide a guide for readers among all the options.

Mommybloggers: You've written many times about the futility of moms judging moms, and about feminism being used as a wedge. How do we bridge this gap?

Deborah: Gee, if I knew… The thing is, one of the main differences played up - between working and stay-at-home moms - doesn't exist. It's a continuum - between full-time work and full-time at-home there's all sorts of options women may explore at different times. And in any case, we're all moms and so the concerns certainly overlap. Which means emphasizing the differences is just distracting women from getting together on policies that would help all parents. Now how to get together on this? Could singing Kumbaya help?

Mommybloggers: Here are the questions we subject all our guest to:

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Can I stretch it to two or so words? "They're asleep."

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Stretching again: "poopie accident."

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around
children?

Oh f***, we're supposed to censor curse words?

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get
away from it all?

Well, I don't really hide, but whenever I'm in the laundry room
the kids can't find me. I think that's because the laundry room just isn't
a space that's important enough to them to ever think about. Which is a
little bit of concern but I'll worry about it when they're older.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

This is a little pathetic, but I haven't had much other privacy since the
kids have come along. That includes the bathroom.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at
the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Deborah, I love reading you and the other Mommybloggers. I'm just going to
hand over my empire to you and you feel free to run it with some friends
or sell it or whatever. Meanwhile, I'm going to retire with a laptop and a
beach chair and just spend my time reading your archives.

Check back tomorrow as we share one of our favorite pieces written by Deborah Klosky of Spot-On.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 12:51 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: We're so glad to finally have the chance to interview you, Amanda! Tell us how long you've been blogging, and how you got started.

Amanda: I started blogging in 2002 at an anonymous online diary site. I mostly used it as a forum to complain about my husband and how unhappy I was. He found it, of course, and now that I think about it, that may have been my intention all along. It took me a few years (not to mention losing 100+ pounds), but I finally realized it was never him that was making me unhappy, nor had it ever been his responsibility to make me happy in the first place. I had to be happy with myself and blogging is one of the things I do to keep myself happy. Maybe I should say happy a few more times? HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!

Mommybloggers: You've written about some deeply personal, emotionally charged issues over the years. How has writing about these topics affected you?

Amanda:I’m pretty even-keeled (read: happy!) so I mostly write about what ever is hovering under the surface of my life. Blogging is a good way for me to talk about things I wouldn’t normally bring up over the course of dinner or at a playgroup. Reading something on my blog means my friends and family have license to bring it up, which has led to some good conversations and deeper friendships. The other half of the time my blog is just a living baby book, which is exactly what I want it to be: A living record of the best years of my life.

Mommybloggers: When we met you at BlogHer 2005, we were moved by your passionate defense of mommyblogging. How do you feel about the term "mommyblogging" now? Are you a mommyblogger?

Amanda:I am definitely a mommyblogger and the term has never offended me. I can understand, though, how if you were a writer before having kids or before starting a blog, you could easily get your panties in a twist about being called that. It would be insulting. I’ve never considered myself a “writer�. I’m a Blogger. I think there’s a difference.

Mommybloggers: Your main blog is called Mandajuice - tell us about the name.

Amanda:It’s the name my little sister came up with for all the bottles of breast milk I used to keep in our mother’s fridge. I worked a full-ish-time job until Alex was 18 months old and being the boob-nazi I am, he never had a single drop of formula. I wouldn’t wish that amount of pumping on my worst enemy, but it’s something that still gives me a lot of pride.

Mommybloggers: You're always insightful and capture your readers' imaginations with your wonderful photography and storytelling. Have you written in other forms?

Amanda:Aw, that’s sweet, but unless you count a few hundred financial plans and a handful of sexy college essays on the economic development of south America, then NOPE. I love to read fiction, but writing it doesn’t really appeal to me.

Mommybloggers: You also blog at ClubMom, writing one of our favorite blogs: The Naked Ledger. This look into your own struggles with budgeting, plus your awesome financial advice is honest and thought-provoking. How did you come up with the idea, and what kind of reaction do you receive?

Amanda:Even though I’ve seen the real life budgets of tons of families over the course of my work as a financial planner, seeing what other people chose to spend their money on never gets old. I thought others might have a similar curiosity. I had initially hoped to be able to instantly blog photos of my receipts every time I spent money, but I can’t get the Flickr code to work properly, so I haven’t been able to keep that up in the way I had hoped. Also? I really SUCK at making time for budgeting, which is kind of the point of that blog. I do get a lot of criticism for our spending, which I still find a little shocking. Who knew a grocery budget could be so controversial!

Mommybloggers: How has being a paid blogger affected your feelings about writing online?

Amanda:KA-FRICKIN-CHING Baby. No complaints from me!

Mommybloggers: You are the mother of two of the most gorgeous children we have ever laid eyes on. You also blog using their names, and their photos. Do you ever worry about their identities online? What are your plans for your blogs as your children get older?

Amanda:Why thank you! I actually don’t worry about their identities online any more than I worry about them at the playground. I’m sure as they get older, I’ll go out of my way to embarrass them a little less often.

Mommybloggers: We see many bloggers branching out into new areas online. Podcasting, vlogs, you name it. Will you be expanding your media empire?

Amanda:I just this week figured out how to get YouTube videos to play on my blog, so I highly doubt you’ll see anything technologically newfangled coming from Mandajuice any time soon. I do have another blog in the works that I’m really excited about, but I’m not allowed to talk about it yet.

Mommybloggers: Tell us something amazing about yourself.
Amanda:I’ve maintained a 100+ pound weight-loss for more than four years. Unfortunately, I have the stretch marks to prove it.

Here are the questions that we ask all the guests:

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Underpants.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Vomit.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Did I ever tell you about the time my two-year-old called his father a “fucking bitch� while we were in line at IKEA? Because we keep promising each other we’re going to stop swearing and obviously it’s not happening.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? We live in a two-bedroom apartment. I have nowhere to hide.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The bathroom. I haven’t taken a crap in peace in over three years.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? I’d like to present you each with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

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Mommybloggers: We're so glad to finally have the chance to interview you, Amanda! Tell us how long you've been blogging, and how you got started.

Amanda: I started blogging in 2002 at an anonymous online diary site. I mostly used it as a forum to complain about my husband and how unhappy I was. He found it, of course, and now that I think about it, that may have been my intention all along. It took me a few years (not to mention losing 100+ pounds), but I finally realized it was never him that was making me unhappy, nor had it ever been his responsibility to make me happy in the first place. I had to be happy with myself and blogging is one of the things I do to keep myself happy. Maybe I should say happy a few more times? HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!

Mommybloggers: You've written about some deeply personal, emotionally charged issues over the years. How has writing about these topics affected you?

Amanda:I’m pretty even-keeled (read: happy!) so I mostly write about what ever is hovering under the surface of my life. Blogging is a good way for me to talk about things I wouldn’t normally bring up over the course of dinner or at a playgroup. Reading something on my blog means my friends and family have license to bring it up, which has led to some good conversations and deeper friendships. The other half of the time my blog is just a living baby book, which is exactly what I want it to be: A living record of the best years of my life.

Mommybloggers: When we met you at BlogHer 2005, we were moved by your passionate defense of mommyblogging. How do you feel about the term "mommyblogging" now? Are you a mommyblogger?

Amanda:I am definitely a mommyblogger and the term has never offended me. I can understand, though, how if you were a writer before having kids or before starting a blog, you could easily get your panties in a twist about being called that. It would be insulting. I’ve never considered myself a “writer�. I’m a Blogger. I think there’s a difference.

Mommybloggers: Your main blog is called Mandajuice - tell us about the name.

Amanda:It’s the name my little sister came up with for all the bottles of breast milk I used to keep in our mother’s fridge. I worked a full-ish-time job until Alex was 18 months old and being the boob-nazi I am, he never had a single drop of formula. I wouldn’t wish that amount of pumping on my worst enemy, but it’s something that still gives me a lot of pride.

Mommybloggers: You're always insightful and capture your readers' imaginations with your wonderful photography and storytelling. Have you written in other forms?

Amanda:Aw, that’s sweet, but unless you count a few hundred financial plans and a handful of sexy college essays on the economic development of south America, then NOPE. I love to read fiction, but writing it doesn’t really appeal to me.

Mommybloggers: You also blog at ClubMom, writing one of our favorite blogs: The Naked Ledger. This look into your own struggles with budgeting, plus your awesome financial advice is honest and thought-provoking. How did you come up with the idea, and what kind of reaction do you receive?

Amanda:Even though I’ve seen the real life budgets of tons of families over the course of my work as a financial planner, seeing what other people chose to spend their money on never gets old. I thought others might have a similar curiosity. I had initially hoped to be able to instantly blog photos of my receipts every time I spent money, but I can’t get the Flickr code to work properly, so I haven’t been able to keep that up in the way I had hoped. Also? I really SUCK at making time for budgeting, which is kind of the point of that blog. I do get a lot of criticism for our spending, which I still find a little shocking. Who knew a grocery budget could be so controversial!

Mommybloggers: How has being a paid blogger affected your feelings about writing online?

Amanda:KA-FRICKIN-CHING Baby. No complaints from me!

Mommybloggers: You are the mother of two of the most gorgeous children we have ever laid eyes on. You also blog using their names, and their photos. Do you ever worry about their identities online? What are your plans for your blogs as your children get older?

Amanda:Why thank you! I actually don’t worry about their identities online any more than I worry about them at the playground. I’m sure as they get older, I’ll go out of my way to embarrass them a little less often.

Mommybloggers: We see many bloggers branching out into new areas online. Podcasting, vlogs, you name it. Will you be expanding your media empire?

Amanda:I just this week figured out how to get YouTube videos to play on my blog, so I highly doubt you’ll see anything technologically newfangled coming from Mandajuice any time soon. I do have another blog in the works that I’m really excited about, but I’m not allowed to talk about it yet.

Mommybloggers: Tell us something amazing about yourself.
Amanda:I’ve maintained a 100+ pound weight-loss for more than four years. Unfortunately, I have the stretch marks to prove it.

Here are the questions that we ask all the guests:

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Underpants.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Vomit.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Did I ever tell you about the time my two-year-old called his father a “fucking bitch� while we were in line at IKEA? Because we keep promising each other we’re going to stop swearing and obviously it’s not happening.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? We live in a two-bedroom apartment. I have nowhere to hide.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The bathroom. I haven’t taken a crap in peace in over three years.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? I’d like to present you each with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Posted by mommybloggers at 1:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Your blog name is great. I assume your "goon squad" refers to your kids. How did the name come about?

Sarah: Gabe started calling the kids "The Goon Squad" in utero. It just stuck. Then one day I had to pick a blog name, I didn't really give it much thought. I never really planned on blogging, I just needed to sign up with blogspot so that I could comment on Bridgette's site (Live From the Wang of America) and so I picked "Sarah and the Goon Squad". After my first post I got addicted.

Mommybloggers: What were your first thoughts when you found out that you were expecting twins?

Sarah: I thought that it couldn't be possible. Only people on TV had twins. I felt like I was lying when I told people that there were two babies.

Mommybloggers: Having lost a baby to miscarriage before, did it amplify your fears with this pregnancy? Just the fact that you were having twins made you more high risk.

Sarah: Oh sure, but my miscarriage was very early (somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks) so once I got past about 10 weeks with the twins, I got a whole new set of fears.

Mommybloggers: You were put in the hospital for early labor. How early were you put in and how long did you have to stay until the kids were born?

Sarah: I started going into labor at 28 weeks. At first my contractions were very mild, but since they were causing dilation and my cervix to thin the doctors knew that I could go into hard labor at any time. I went to a doctors appointment for my "Braxton-Hicks" contractions and he sent me straight to the hospital. I lived there for five weeks until they couldn't stop the labor anymore. Ian and Claudia were born at 34 1/2 weeks gestation, which isn't too bad for twins. All said, I was in the hospital for 41 days.

Mommybloggers: What did the doctors tell you about your prognosis when you were in the hospital?

Sarah: When we first got to the hospital they told us that if the children were born right then there was a 95% chance that if even one of them were to live they would have severe problems. They told me that every day they could keep the twins from coming out would improve there chance of survival. It was terrifying.

Mommybloggers: Having twins, what is the biggest pet peeve you encounter when it comes to other people's comments or questions?

Sarah: The thing that pisses me off the most is when people say "Oh, you did it the easy way." I'm not sure what they think the hard way is!

Mommybloggers: You know we have to ask...are you planning on having anymore children?

Sarah: No. Hell no. We've had it "taken care of".

Mommybloggers: Okay, so let's talk sports. You are the editor at BlogHer for their sports section. What is your favorite sport to watch? What about to play? Do you play sports?

Sarah: I love football. I really love football. In fact, my favorite sport to play is fantasy football. In real life I am a lazy ass and don't get nearly as much physical activity as I should. I'm not very athletic.

Mommybloggers: Are you jealous that Jenn had tickets to the NHL All Stars Game? (She said we have to ask.)

Sarah: You know I am.

Mommybloggers: A little birdie told us that you were in a sorority. Seriously? You have to confess now that we know. What sorority?

Sarah: It is true. I was/am a Delta Gamma.

Mommybloggers: Do you see yourself as a sorority girl still?

Sarah: I don't think I thought of myself as a sorority girl even in college. I was very active, but I don't think I was ever what you think of when you think about sorority girls.

Mommybloggers: We loved hearing that you are a trained opera singer. Would you belt out some opera if we asked you to?

Sarah: If I was drunk enough... or really prepared.

Mommybloggers: Do you sing to your children and more importantly, do you like it?

Sarah: Constantly. I love it. There is very little I would rather do. Of course, the kids tell me to be quiet a lot.

Mommybloggers: So do you listen to opera a lot? What are your favorite types of music to listen to?

Sarah: Sometimes. Not as much since Squad has been able to express their opinions verbally. We listen to a lot of punk rock around here because all four of us like it. Honestly, i try to play them everything. I don't want them to be limited. We listen to classical, metal, old jazz standards, reggae, 80's, classic rock - really almost everything... except country and top 40.

Mommybloggers: What is one thing about you that people don't know that may shock or surprise us?

Sarah: Besides the sorority thing? I am scared of Harry Connick Jr.

Mommybloggers: Now, you know there has to be a follow-up to that one. Harry Connick Jr.??

Sarah: Uhhhhh....yeah, that one is going to need an explanation.
Hasn't anyone else seen that movie "Copycat". Scary. I'm scared of him AND public restrooms. I hope he's happy.

Continue reading "Mommybloggers dish with Sarah" »

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Okay, Julie, are you ready for the tough, hard hitting questions?

Julie: *laughing* Bring it!

Mommybloggers: With two girls your house must be over-run with estrogen. How does your husband Kyle handle this?

Julie: He loves it. I can't say enough about what an incredible father he is. He's the one who was hell-bent on having children as soon as I said the word, and yet I always figured that he'd be like most fathers - ready to play, but unwilling to handle the drudgery.

Boy, was I wrong. He loves it all. He sincerely enjoys playing with them - although when he plays Barbies, he makes his Barbie pretend to drink beer and then shriek "Oh I'm so drunk!" - but he also gives baths, changes diapers, takes them out on errands with him, and so forth. He incorporates them into every aspect of his life, just like we moms do instinctively.

Mommybloggers: What are you passionate about? Share your passions with us.

Julie: I often feel like a slacker because I don't have an enormously ambitious dream that I'm working toward. I don't aspire to be a CEO or an Oscar-winning actress or a bestselling novelist. Nor do I put my stock in being Mother of the Year. I'm not even really good at keeping up with friends and family.

So, while I hate to say it, I think I'm too lazy to be truly passionate about anything.

Mommybloggers: Using only 7 words, describe yourself so that our readers can get to know the real Julie.

Julie: What you see is what you get.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret.

Julie: I'm an open book. What do you want to know?

Mommybloggers: Okay, if we dropped in for coffee is there a room that is off limits because it is too private/messy/not for guests?

Julie: The master bedroom closet and bathroom. They aren't toxic waste dumps, but I still can't find a way to clean the soap scum off the slate tiles in the shower.

Mommybloggers: Rate yourself on a scale of 1- 10 on your housekeeping skills. 1 being the worst--please NEVER drop in on me and 10 being--bring it!

Julie: You can eat off of my floor! I'm usually about a 9, which is ironic considering what a slob I was until I moved into my own apartment. Now I have to remind myself to chill out.

Mommybloggers: We're told you used to be an Air Force officer. What was it like being a woman in the military? Do you feel it makes you better equipped to deal with the PTA alpha moms?

Julie: I loved being in the Air Force and being assigned to the Pentagon. I was fortunate to have some incredible opportunities there, and I'm honored to have been entrusted with some tremendous responsibilities. I had a lot of support from both men and women, and I'm not sure that I'll ever get such a sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment from my work again.

That said, I did have a tough time with one supervisor in particular, and there were other occasions when people openly doubted my ability to handle my responsibilities - simply because a lieutenant had never held the position before. But I showed 'em.

Women in the military aren't the sisterhood that you'd think we would be. I've written before about the inherent distrust, even though I've had fellow female officers who were wonderful mentors to me. I wish the PTA were comprised of dads. I think I'd actually want to be a part of it then.

Mommybloggers: What one thing would you tell your 15 year old self if you can talk to her today?

Julie: Well, she'd be almost 16, and she'd be into skaters and - oh hell, do I really have to think about this?

I'd tell her that if she really wants to be punk rock, do what's right for HER - not necessarily what she thinks will make her more well-liked. And that in order to pass engineering courses, she'll need to study. Hard.

Mommybloggers: At last count you write for a gabillion blogs How do you find time and is there ever a moment in the day where your mind is not thinking "That would make a great blog entry!"?

Julie: I neglect my children. They can recite SpongeBob episodes from memory.

I write at just about every opportunity, and I can usually concentrate amidst the chaos. Writing copy for Cool Mom Picks requires quiet, and so do pieces in which I discuss religion or politics. I also wait to handle correspondence (mostly Cool Mom Picks and Parent Bloggers) until it's quiet.

Blogging while intoxicated is frowned upon (but it does happen now and then).

Mommybloggers: Is there anything that is off limits for you blog? Anything you won't write about?

Julie: I don't write anything that I wouldn't say to someone's face. That's been my rule from the beginning. I always assume that anyone could find it and read it.

I haven't written much about my own post-partum depression, although I've commented on others' blogs where they've had the courage to discuss their own struggles.

Mommybloggers: You've mentioned that once you kick your girls to the curb..we mean college...you can't wait to get back to Manhattan. Tell us what it is about New York that has you pining for it already?

Julie: It just suits me. New York has a way of life that works for some people, but not for most. Although we spent some difficult times there - 9/11, major job changes and salary cuts - we persevered and succeeded. Our time in New York represents a significant achievement for both of us - triumph over adversity.

Tracy loved it there too. I remember taking her to pick apples in Rockland County one day, and she stood in the orchard and cried about how she wanted to ride the carousel in Central Park. Even now, she routinely asks why we can't move back to New York. And she refuses to watch "Free To Be You and Me" because she misses New York.

Continue reading "Mommybloggers dish with Julie Marsh" »

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: We love the name of your blog - Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters - is there a story behind the name?

Mel: My husband started calling me the Stirrup Queen because I spent so much time with my feet in the stirrups, so to speak. And when you're going through fertility treatments, all of the attention is focused on you and you feel like the Queen Bee, lying on the table, with many people buzzing about, working to get you pregnant. Actually, my uterus was the Queen Bee. The rest of my body was just along for the ride.

My husband also called the donation rooms at our clinic the Sperm Palace. We have many fond memories of those rooms. The person who coordinated the andrology unit was this squat woman with a thick, German accent. She would let me accompany my husband into the room and bark at me every time: "it needs to be a clean sample!"

When we came up with a title for the blog, we decided to go with things we laughed about because…well…with infertility, if you don't laugh, you'll cry.

Mommybloggers: We understand that you are the co-author of an upcoming book on infertility issues - what came first - the book or the blog?

Mel: The book. We were both fuming over an adoption question in an advice column. My parents were equally upset by the columnist's answer. When they came over that night for dinner, we spent a long time complaining about the lack of understanding the fertile world has for the infertile experience. At that point, my mother turned to us and said, "as writers, you guys actually could do something instead of just sitting around complaining about it." Just like a mother to kick you into action.

We also realized early on that we only had our own infertility experience. It's funny—you get set in your own little infertile niche and even though I knew some basic facts about adoption or third party reproduction, my experience was solely treatments and loss. And that's all I could write about. We started the blog to collect stories. And we have collected many stories along the way and we start new interview threads all the time. But the blog has also become my venting place as we start trying to conceive again. This time around, I feel like I have a better outlet for the emotions.

Mommybloggers: You frequently highlight posts from the many talented infertility bloggers. Are your goals for Stirrup Queens focused on creating community, or building a resource?

Mel: Both—we've sort of built exactly what we wished had existed during our first round with infertility. One stop shopping for information, support, and new ideas. A place where you could go before you did your first injection to make sure you were doing it right, and while you're there, also feel supported when you see the advice and good wishes of other people who have also done injections. The one problem with bulletin boards is that you can post a message and have it take hours to be answered. And sometimes you need the information instantly. Treatments are time-sensitive.

So we have a bunch of resources: Operation Heads Up, which is a list of first person accounts and tips regarding common treatments/medications/ procedures. We have an Infertility Books list. And we have the Peer Infertility Counselors List ( http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/09/peer-infertility-counselors.html), which is a list of people who are willing to have you email them with questions (or willing to lend an ear to a vent). Anything from conceiving with donor eggs to parenting twins after infertility. Oh—and we have an enormous blogroll broken down into categories so people can find blogs that mirror their own experience (or read about another path to parenthood that they may be considering). Any new readers should add themselves to all of these lists by emailing me—volunteer to be a peer counselor, add your blog to the blogroll, or suggest new books for the list. And we're always looking for people to do a write up for Operation Heads Up.

I started the Friday Blog Roundup because I read so many infertility and pregnancy loss blogs (including those who are parenting after treatments, adoption, surrogacy, etc) and sometimes I noticed that someone was only receiving one or two comments on a post. I worried that people didn't know about all of these cool, interesting thoughts that were being discussed on these blogs. Sometimes, people tend to stick with the big bloggers and not notice those smaller, newer bloggers. The big bloggers are big for a reason—they're great writers and they've been exploring their thoughts for a long time. But some of the smaller bloggers have equally interesting things to say. I just try to direct people to interesting things to read that they may have missed. My blogroll grows every single day. I have hundreds of blogs broken down into categories. That's a lot of interesting thoughts you may be missing if you don't take some time to peruse the selection.

Mommybloggers: We've witnessed an animosity towards mommyblogging from some of the infertility blogging community. While it is understandable, on many levels, we would like to expose some of the issues behind this, and educate ourselves. What is your take?

Mel: People don't speak about infertility and the media only communicates the negative stories of treatments and adoption. So the general public sometimes doesn't even know what they're saying is offensive. They may have good intentions, but not realize how advice like, "just relax; it will happen" sounds to someone experiencing infertility.

And at the same time, many people who are experiencing infertility feel like they are stuck in a limbo land between two worlds. In their heart, they feel like a Mommy (and I think they are a Mommy—motherhood can begin much earlier than pregnancy or birth), but the rest of the world doesn't consider them a mommy. They may have even been pregnant and lost children and it hurts to be hear other people speaking about their children and know what you're missing. They're not part of that DINKY (double income no kids) crowd anymore (as if there is any income leftover for fun after paying for treatments!) and they're not part of the mommy crowd.

So what could a mommyblogger do in order to reach out to an infertile blogger? Read their blogs in order to get a greater understanding. You don't need to comment or offer advice. In fact, just a sympathetic "I'm sorry" is probably better in the comments section than any advice you could give if you haven't been through the experience. It really does need to work both ways, with Mommies understanding what it took for some women to get there and for infertile bloggers to see and imagine the future.

I love Ann Douglas's pregnancy book because she includes information on getting pregnant. Which may seem strange in a pregnancy book, EXCEPT that many people purchase pregnancy books when they first start trying to conceive. And when it doesn't happen easily, Ann is there to help them along. Most people don't immediately jump to infertility books during the first month of trying. I think it would be helpful for Mommybloggers to take that same thought into the blogging world. People start reading Mommy blogs long before they are mommies. They start reading when they start trying. When they're trying to imagine themselves as a mommy. And it would be helpful to put up some infertility links in a side bar or discuss conception issues from time to time. For about 12% of the population, infertility is a reality. And you don't need to experience it in order to reach out to others who are experiencing it.

Mommybloggers: It is National Infertility Awareness Week this week. While not exactly a celebration - this is an important chance to make others aware. Where do we start?

Mel: Take a few minutes to poke around at Resolve (www.resolve.org) and understand some of the issues at hand. For those who haven't experienced infertility, you may not understand the magnitude of the situation—the financial, emotional, and physical aspects.

Reach out to friends who are going to infertility and lend a willing ear. Pregnancy loss (which is part of the definition for infertility) is much more common than you think. Talk about infertility in order to let others know that you're open to the discussion. Sometimes, a person just needs to hear that the person is willing to talk to start admitting the trouble they're having with conception and carrying to term. If you know someone experiencing infertility, pass along information to a blog like Stirrup Queens where they could find many other people going through a similar experience. Send out a mass email to all your female friends who may be trying to conceive but not informing you about problems and tell them that you found this cool blog chock-full of good infertility information. You may be surprised who pops out of the woodwork.

Make a donation to Resolve—you can do it through their website. They do amazing work to get coverage for fertility treatments and disseminate information.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about the Pomegranate Thread movement - how can we help spread the word?

Mel: Infertility's Common Thread began when a reader lamented the fact that there wasn't a way to signal to other women that she was infertile and find other infertile women. Infertility is just something that many people don't discuss. She was also pregnant after five losses and still felt like she was part of the pregnancy loss/infertility world. She didn't feel part of the average motherhood world. So she wanted a way to discreetly let other people know that she was infertile in case they wanted to ask her questions, feel supported, etc.

We brainstormed and came up with the idea of a pomegranate-coloured thread (pomegranates are a symbol of fertility)—embroidery thread #814—which could be purchased at any sewing store or craft shop in America. It was easy to throw a few threads in the mail. It was inexpensive. People could knot it into bracelets, wrap it a few times around their wrist, or adorn it with beads. It was discreet.

We have a write up on my blog that compiles all the brainstorming and thoughts that went into the project. People are putting the icon on their blog and posting a link to the compilation (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/09/history-of-infertilitys-common-thread.html ). We've been asking if people post about it that they provide the link since it goes through the whole history and give credit to the many women (and man!) who helped with the write up and bring the idea to fruition. And the more people who post, the better. As I said in my post for National Infertility Awareness Week, post it everywhere--blog about it, make a t-shirt and wear it, write it in soap on your car, make bumper stickers, bring threads to other women in the clinic waiting room during your next day-3 bloodwork, make flyers, leave threads tucked into fertility books at the library with a note, tape threads to boxes of ovulation predictor kits at the local food store, write in to your local newspaper.

I'm always looking at wrists when I'm out and about.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask - what do you think of the term "Mommyblogger" - do you consider yourself a mommyblogger?

Mel: I'm definitely a mommyblogger. I mean, currently, I am a mommy (I have two-year-old twins). But even before that, I was a mommy in my heart. I went through a lot to have these kids. I had the mindset of pregnancy long before I ever became pregnant and carried to term.

And I think mommyhood is beautiful. The majority of mommies are helpful and supportive. They give you advice when you have a question. They commiserate. They share their coffee… Mothers reach out to one another. They watch out for each other's children. I'm proud to be a member of the community. And since my kids rock, I love talking about them. To everyone.

Mommybloggers: Here are our questions that we ask everyone:

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

"I lubby you, Mommy" (translation: I love you, Mommy)

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

"Now!" Especially when it is shouted by one twin while the other one needs me.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

We took all of our favourite curse words and turned them into initials. So we still call each other SFB (shit-for-brains) or MF (motherfucker) in front of the kids. But it's all just a mass of letters that can be explained in so many ways. Such as, Mommy just called Daddy a "sweet, fun boy" for SFB.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

I make them hide. I make my husband take our kids downstairs into Little Tykes Land and I get the run of the middle level of the house.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

Probably Starbucks. I always have a fear that they're going to pop through the door during one of those afternoons when I get a few hours to go off and read/write.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

You are even more beautiful in person! How do you do it?

Please pay a visit to our lovely guest Mel over at her fantastic blog Stirrup Queens, and check back tomorrow as we turn the blog over to Mel!

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Mommybloggers: We love the name of your blog- Crib Ceiling. We know it is like a take-off on "the glass ceiling". Tell us what made you come up with this name and if you still feel it applies.

Krisco: Thanks. I like it too. Although I did briefly think of changing it for awhile when I thought it was giving off the wrong idea. (I even took a poll! The readers voted thumbs up, all six of them, which was flattering.)

The blog started as this social experiment of mine, where I really felt as women we had just been completely lied to – the whole “you can have it all� thing – and I wanted to start a place where other women who felt the same kind of “wha…?� going on in their lives could compare notes.

(That’s what Crib Ceiling meant – that the real reason women aren’t CEOs in proportionate numbers is just, life. And we like it this way. I would take parenthood over certainly any work I’ve ever done, any day. But why wasn’t any of this pointed out to me, say, earlier in life?)

Anyway, it quickly devolved to, just, pretty much about me. I couldn’t stay on that semi-pro-anti-feminist thing longer than about a week.

Does it still fit my blog? I don’t know. The voters said keep it, and by the time I was done feeding the kids, picking up the house, and finishing my work-work, I was too tired to do anything about it…. : )

Mommybloggers: Your blog originally started with 3 of you: You, your sister and cousin. have you locked them in a closet somewhere so that you can do all of the posting and get all of the glory now?

Krisco: Absolutely. They’ve been booted to the closet. I hope someone is feeding their kids.

Actually, I talked them into it before they’d even read a blog. I was very advanced, having been reading both gawker and opinionistas for about a week when I decided to jump in.

I thought it would be a fun project for us to do together; plus they each had small children, one was working, one was a SAHM. I thought it was the perfect mix for the blog.

But they never quite really got the whole “blog� thing. Like reading them. Or logging in. Or posting regularly.

I actually think they both think they are still involved, and are waiting to send in their yearly reports.

Mommybloggers: What kind of kid were you growing up? Do you see those same traits coming out in your girls?

Krisco: As a very little kid, I was a little quiet. Turned out that was due in part to the fact I couldn’t see (how does everyone know what is going on? what IS going on?). Once I got glasses in third grade, I really took off. (Ironically!) Or, at least, I was always farily social. I never hung with the real popular crowd, but I always hung with pretty much everybody else. And if they didn’t know each other, I’d make sure they’d meet.

I was always proud of a party I had in high school that had all these fun people from all the different cliques. They were all happy to meet each other (and surprised they liked each other) even though it was already second semester senior year.

At 4 and 2, I think it’s a little too early to tell if my girls will be the social-connector type person that I always was. (Or, as I like to say, honorary member of every group, regular member of none…) But I have noticed Little Big Girl, and Tiny Person, will kind of hang back and scope out a scene for awhile. And then something happens – they see someone they know, or they just get comfortable with themselves – and they are off and running and having a good time. That part looks familiar.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret.

Krisco: I don’t understand subtle-speak at all. If you try to tell me something – you know – without really saying it - I won’t know what you’re saying. I won’t even know that you’re TRYING to tell me something.

I once realized THREE YEARS later that a woman I knew in college was trying to hit on me. This whole – Joan Armatrading – look for the song until we find it – I did not get it until one day walking through my law school campus three years later. Ditto some lesson my 7th grade science teacher was trying to impart but never stated out loud – it occurred to me my first year in law school. (Must have been something about law school. And the Socratic process. Or a bored brain.)

It’s nothing personal. I’d love to speak that language with you. I just can’t.

Mommybloggers: Were you really afraid Jenn would snub you at BlogHer? (You know, you made her cry like a sissy girl who got her braids pulled when she read that. But going on a road trip to the urine liquor store helped and now she loves you forever and owes you a non-stinky trip somewhere.)

Krisco: I was SO afraid Jenn would snub me at BlogHer. I just KNEW it!!

Actually, not at all. And the only reason I even teased someone I’d never even met is because she so seemed like someone who WOULDN’T snub anybody. Who, instead, would be mobbed by well-wishers and be nice to everyone. And she was!

Although my experience of meeting bloggers in person is somewhat limited – limited to the 600-plus people I saw at BlogHer, pared to the probably 60 I talked to in person and the 20 of whose blogs I’d discovered before then – blogs seem to represent their owners pretty well. I think it’s hard to bluff who you are for very long, if you post consistently.

Or so that’s my theory.

So I knew Jenn would be nice and Jenny would be a screeching beyatch…..JUST KIDDING!!
Jenny: Note to self - Must. Work. On. Social. Skills

(And as for that urine-smelling liquor store run – thanks! Now I can smell it all over again! I think you owe me a liquor run that does NOT include stinky, weaving men. Maybe if we don’t let Mary Tsao drive. Just a thought.)

Mommybloggers: Using only 7 words, describe yourself so that our readers feel like they know the real Krisco.

Krisco: funny
irreverent
nose in a book or other reading material (new math where 8 = 1)
tall
kind
perceptive
analytical

Mommybloggers: What are you passionate about? Share your passion with us!

Krisco: I get passionate about a bunch of different topics.

Right now I’m passionate about this retail development that is supposed to get built in our tiny town, but which easily might get derailed as it has for the last forty years. (YES we still have no Target. It is an on-going theme on my blog.)

I’m also fairly passionate about processes and fairness. I always end up fixing the processes at any workplace I’m at. I currently volunteer to facilitate some regular meetings in town because I just can’t stand the thought of people having meetings that go on for hours with no reason.

Kind of a random thing to be passionate about, but there it is.

I’m always passionate about politics, but don’t get me started. I try to limit it on the blog to things I just can’t help myself from ranting about. (Hint: fairness, processes, fairness…)

Finally, I’m pretty passionate about not losing my mind in a small town raising small children, and trying to find a good balance for them, my husband, and for me.

Mommybloggers: Now be honest, how many times a day do you think about blogging?

Krisco: Constantly. I can’t really do the math on how many times a day that is, because I’m not very good at math, but it’s a lot.

Actually, now that I am working again (I almost said “have a job�, but I don’t! I’m an independent contractor earning commissions!) I don’t have time to think about it as much during the day. Other than once in awhile to think – did I post that? Did I even write it yet? I wrote it in my head twice last night, did it make it to the screen? And did I put that person’s link up yet? And what IS dooce saying today? And wha – your house is wha –OOOOOOHHHH, right right right…..yes, uh huh, I’m with you, the house thing, right, right, right.

(Just kidding on that last part. I am ALL THERE when we’re talking real estate. Seriously.)

Mommyblogger: (You know we have to ask it...) What do you think of the term mommyblogger?

Krisco: I love the term Mommyblogger. Mostly in the whole Vagina Monologue kind of a way – I think we need to own the term.

Also, in the way that most women – and not all, and I mean no offense or judgment – but a whole lot of the majority of women out there become moms of one sort or another, so ergo most women who blog are mothers, and guess what? Most women out there doing anything either will be or already are - moms.

And being a mom doesn’t preclude you from thinking about or writing about or having an opinion that matters about anything else in the world. In fact, it somewhat makes you more qualified if not considerably more interested in some topics than you were before.

Plus I love talking about my kids. Have I mentioned my kids?

So I’m proud to be a Mommyblogger.

Mommybloggers: How much of yourself do you put out there? Meaning, do you censor what you say or are you all out there with whatever you want to say or talk about?

Krisco: At first I didn’t really censor. I find as I go, I censor more – it’s either that or I have more things to say which makes me realize not all things can be said.

Probably if I had an anonymous blog, I would say more. But I live in a small town, plus people I know from other parts of my life read the blog . . . I try to only say things I wouldn’t mind saying to someone’s face or standing up next to on a billboard. Because I guess it’s about the same thing.

Mommybloggers: If "they" were to make your life into a TV reality show, what would they title it? Would it be a comedy or drama? Explain. (Or try to with such an "out there" question!)

Krisco: Oh please, a comedy! If it turned out to be a drama, now THAT would be a drama!

Let’s see, a name . . . Beautiful Girl Totally Misunderstood By the Whole Freaking World.

No, wait, that’s not really accurate. I don’t totally qualify as Beautiful, and I make myself pretty well understood most times.

Plus, you said reality show. So that means it has to be a contest. Who Can Marry A Physicist, Move to A Small Remote Science Town, Have Three Careers, Raise Small Children, And Not Go Insane?

Yeah. Try that one.

Mommybloggers: We know that it took a while for your Mommy BlogHer tattoo to wear off. Do you need more? We have more. A lot more. Many more. Do you want another one? We're just sayin'... We'll send them to you so you will never forget and always remember the rocking good time you had. (No, it has nothing to do with our excess supply!)

Krisco: I swear to you, if you send me one, I will put it on. But maybe not on my lower wrist, in the summer, in the arid southwest, at a new job, where everyone at work including clients, none of whom HAD EVEN HEARD OF A BLOG, keep asking me what it is.

Because, as we know, it will last approximately FOREVER.

My husband has other ideas on where to put it but that’s another topic.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (*With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Mommy.
Spoken in almost any tone. Except the whining one.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

MAAAAAAMEEEEEEEE
The whining one.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around
children?

I have none. They get the real deal.

(Yesterday Tiny Person was saying, quite sweetly, “goddammit, goddammit� because someone had shut the doors on her little pop-up animal head game. I said, honey, even though mommy says that, it’s not the greatest thing. Mommy needs to stop saying it. Maybe we could say gol darn it? And she immediately switched to, just as sweetly: gol dammit, gol dammit. See? She doesn’t even know which parts are bad. I think I’m in the clear here.)

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

And I am not making this up, I so don’t have one. My desk is in the family room, it’s all next to the kitchen, our bedroom is a free-for-all.

It’s possible if I hid in THEIR closet they might not find me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

I reiterate, I have none. I thought the shower might work for awhile, but Tiny Person has no problem pulling the shower curtain back and demanding things like being put on the potty RIGHT NOW for the poop.

(Maybe we’re getting somewhere on why I’ve gone back to work . . . )

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Krisco! I have SO been looking forward to meeting you! You’re hilarious!

And she’ll end the show with –

Won’t you come to my house after the show, and we’ll be friends forever? Also, I think I need you to help me sell my house!

Check back tomorrow as we turn Mommybloggers over to Krisco - she's got a great essay planned!

Posted by mommybloggers at 5:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Catherine, we're all huge fans of yours! What was the inspiration to start your blog? Have you always been a writer?

Catherine: I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a child. As an academic, I do a lot of writing – a LOT – but much of the joy had gone out of it for me. I still liked writing, but it had become more work than play. Blogging has restored the sense of play to writing for me – it’s brought me back to that space where writing is fun.

But I came upon blogging almost accidentally. I was struggling with post-partum depression, and my psychiatrist had recommended keeping a diary as an outlet for my emotions, but I really recoiled at the idea, I think because I had embarrassing memories of the angsty journals that I kept in my late teens/early twenties. Then, one night, while doing a search online for gas remedies for WonderBaby, I came upon my first blog and fell down the rabbit hole. The rest is history.

Mommybloggers: You're approaching your one-year anniversary of motherhood. How has life changed for you? Are you surprised?

Catherine: Surprised? Yes and no. I suppose that I’m surprised at how all-consuming it is, and at the many ways that it’s changed me. If you had asked me before WonderBaby arrived whether I would totally embrace stay-at-home motherhood, I would have responded skeptically – I expected to jump right back into my life, just with a baby on my hip. I discovered once WonderBaby came that I wanted my life to look somewhat different – that I wanted to slow it down, and really work on building the best and most fulfilling family life that I could. I wasn’t exactly surprised by that, but I was surprised by how strongly I felt about it, by the fact that home and family became a passionate focus for me.

Mommybloggers: Her Bad Mother - let's talk about the name.

Catherine: The name was actually coined by my eldest nephew, long before I became a mother, to describe my own mother (his grandmother). My mother has always loved play with children, and has always been especially fond of tall tales and surprises, and one afternoon when my nephew was about three years old she convinced him that there was a crocodile living in one of the bedroom closets. Then she went to the closet to bring the ‘crocodile’ out, and pretended that it had grabbed her arm and eaten it – she pulled her arm into her sweater and screamed – and reduced the poor child to a fit of terrified giggles. I said to him, at the time, ‘well, that’s your bad grandma for you,’ and he replied, ‘NO. That’s YOUR BAD MOTHER.’ Ever after, whenever my mom and I talked about those games, she would insist that one day I would become the exact same sort of bad mother she was - totally irreverent, with a tendency to regard children as sources of amusement and entertainment, and a tendency to disregard the ‘rules’ – whether I liked it or not. I don’t know that I am that mother yet, but I certainly aspire to it.

Mommybloggers: You've created The Basement as a safe space for fellow writers to archive those entries that need to go into the witness protection program. How did you uncover the need for this archive? What has the response been like?

Catherine: The response has been wonderful – there’s usually a steady stream of posts to go up, and everyone that has posted seems to have found the experience rewarding (that is to say, found the unburdening of their stories a tremendous relief and found the supportive comments from the blogging community encouraging and/or reassuring.) I uncovered the need more or less accidentally – I set it up for myself, as a place to post the things that I didn’t want certain people to read. But when I started the Basement, I left the link up on my profile page and soon discovered that everybody knew about it, so I stopped posting there. Then, one day, a friend who blogs e-mailed me to ask if she could borrow the space to tell a story – the story of her miscarriage – that she didn’t want her family to see, and I thought, well, maybe other bloggers might want to do the same thing. And, as it turns out, I was right – there are many of us out there who have stories to tell that we just can’t or don’t want to tell ‘publicly.’ So the Basement is open to anyone who needs a safe forum in which to get those stories out.

Mommybloggers: You're very active in your local blogging scene - has blogging been a blessing or a curse in your real-life friendships?

Catherine: Mostly a blessing – I’ve made some wonderful friends. But before I became locally active and formed those friendships, I actually lost a friend simply because of the blogging – she was hurt that I was making time as a new mother to blog but was not making time to go out and socialize. She didn’t understand how overwhelming new motherhood can be, and that blogging – which usually happens late at night or at dawn – was a way of coping. So the fact that I’ve made real-life friends out of some blogging friends – locally and not-so-locally! – has really been a blessing: these are friends who understand both the pressures of motherhood and the fulfillment of writing and know that friendship flourishes when our friends respect our love for and our struggles with those treasured things.

Mommybloggers: We're really impressed with the community resources and lively discussions on urbanmoms.ca. How did you get involved?

Catherine: Jen of urbanmoms.ca, who is an avid blog reader, became interested in the idea of sharing the momosphere with readers of urbanmoms.ca, as a way of exposing them to the wonderful writing and resources that mommybloggers have to offer. She was (is) a reader of Her Bad Mother and thought that I might be interested in working with her and so got in touch with me. It’s been great – it gives me a forum to really promote the momosphere to women who might not otherwise find it, and to promote other mom blogs at the same time.

Mommybloggers: What are you passionate about?

Catherine: My daughter and my husband and our life together. Providing my daughter with a rich and stimulating childhood. Making the world a better place. Supporting other mothers. Writing.

Mommybloggers: You've built an enthusiastic audience, and inspire other bloggers to dig a little deeper when posting, to express themselves, to write passionately. You sculpt beautifully crafted entries day after day after day... do you spend hours writing and revising?

Catherine: Not really. A post usually takes an hour or two to put together, but it’s the linking and photo-uploading that take the time. The actual writing is pretty quick. I actually find that if I really work at a post – do a draft and then revise it and fuss over it – it doesn’t turn out so well. Those posts usually end up in a folder on my virtual desktop, never to be seen again. Usually I just sit down with an idea of what I want to talk about and the fingers do the rest. And I’ve made it a sort of informal rule for myself that if I don’t feel inspired, if the words don’t come easily, then I just won’t post. Because it’s only fun if it feels good, and endless revising and fussing feels more like what I do with my academic writing, which is much less fun.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask... do you consider yourself to be a Mommyblogger? What do you think of the term "Mommyblogger?"

Catherine: I consider myself to be a mommy, and a blogger who blogs (mostly) about being a mommy, so yes. I feel strongly that we shouldn’t be afraid of the word mommy, that we should be proud of it and reclaim it from those who use it derogatorily. And I do think that terms like ‘parent blogger’ can sound a bit sterile and forced, even if they are more inclusive. But I am sensitive to the fact that many see the term as limiting – that there’s this unfounded idea that mommybloggers can only write about ‘mommy’ issues. As someone who would like to consider herself a writer, this chafes. But I don’t think that the answer is to reject my ‘mommy’ status – I think that the more productive solution is simply to be the best damn writer-mommy that I can be.

Mommybloggers: What do you see in the future of blogging? What direction would you like to see this media take?

Catherine: Somebody raised the question the other week of whether the ‘Golden Age’ of blogging is over. I don’t think that we’ve even seen it yet. The blogosphere may no longer be a small fringe community, but I think that it is still on the vanguard of the future of media, communication, writing and community (and the intersection of these things.) I hope that we can find a balance between all of the commercial and technological possibilities and the writerly, community-based core of blogging. I’d like bloggers to be seen as bona fide writers – not just third-class journalists or obsessive exhibitionist diarists – and for us to be respected (and more frequently credited and, where appropriate, reasonably remunerated) for our writing. Because it’s some of the best writing out there.

Mommybloggers: What other projects do you have in the works?

Catherine: Other than raising the Future Ruler of the Universe? I’m currently collaborating with Tania of BabyInTheCity (www.babyinthecity.blogspot.com) to develop a virtual Her Bad Mother headquarters, with links to the Basement and to the Toronto MamaBloggers blog (http://www.mamablogstoronto.blogspot.com) and to other projects that may develop. Because my sidebar was just getting too crowded and I couldn’t keep track of everything and I’m impaired in the life-skills department and needed some guidance with this whole ‘hey, let’s start another blog!’ habit that I seem to have. The Toronto Mamabloggers blog is a project in itself - it‘s becoming a community blog, wherein various Toronto mommybloggers will regularly post on topics of interest to moms and mommybloggers in Toronto and surrounding areas, and where there’ll be an up-to-date blogroll that keeps track of and links to the dozens of Toronto-area parent bloggers (which is turning out to be a huge community). The idea is to bring us all together and to give everyone more opportunities for flexing their writing muscles. And Joy of GingaJoy (www.gingajoy.blogspot.com) – who is, like me, an academic in ‘real life’ - and I have been plotting academic world domination – we’re working on some academic projects that explore the culture of mommyblogging, and its much-discussed radical potential.

Mommybloggers:
Finally, here are the questions that we ask all our guests:

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Mama, from the lips of WonderBaby
2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Diaper
3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Censored curse words? I have to do that now?
4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? Bathtub.
5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? Bathtub
6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? “I never knew that the word dude means dolphin penis.�

Posted by mommybloggers at 1:43 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: We're so excited to have the chance to interview you, Liz... can we call you Liz, or do you prefer Badgermama?

LIz: Liz is fine, though I answer to Badger, Lizzard, Dr. Lizardo, whatever.

Mommybloggers: You're a published poet, and an all-around prolific writer. Is blogging an offshoot of your 'real' writing?

LIz: Blogging started that way, as an offshoot, but now I wonder if it has become my "real" writing. It's a little bit diary and a little bit epistolary. I have two book recommendations for women who have been blogging a lot and taking it seriously: 800 Years of Women's Letters edited by Olga Kenyon, and Private Pages: Diaries of American Women 1830s-1970s. Those are good starting points if you want to feel hooked into a literary tradition of writing women. Blogging is its own genre now, but it would be good for us to strengthen the connections in our minds between blogs and the amazing rich history of diaries and letters that have been important in women's literature for hundreds of years.

Before I had blogs, I kept paper notebook journals. Usually I had 3 or 4 at once: a main catch-all one to carry with me, a small one to carry in a pocket, one for especially significant moments that has lasted for years and is slow to fill up, and a dream journal. I also was used to working back and forth between two notebooks on drafts of poems and translations, and I still do this. Letters to my friends could run 20 pages handwritten, easy. My notebooks go back 22 years at this point. I wrote and published a ton of xerox zines. So it's not like my overblogulating came out of nowhere.

I do love my poetry best, and my poem translations. But it has always been my ambition to be one of those writers who does a little bit of everything. I can't help being heavily textual. Blogging is super exciting because it puts me into direct touch with other people who are like that.

Mommybloggers: Tell us how Badgermama came about - what inspired you to make the leap? How has the response surprised you?

LIz: I had been writing on my big old catch-everything pseudonymous badgerbag blog. I went to BlogHer's first conference, and really liked the mommyblogger panel and discussion. After that I felt it was important for me to identify at least partly as a mommyblogger, since I'm a mom and I blog sometimes about that identity and about parenting. I was a little frustrated at always being left out of the categories, because of writing about a little bit of everything, and not having a focus. there was (and still is) a lot of advice floating around the blogospher about how to be successful or popular or make money as a blogger, and one key concept was focus. I thought, "What if I go through my archives and pull out all the parenting and mom stuff, and put it together?" I did a little bit of that for badgermama, and then found that I wanted to write there, in that context. Once I made the blog and it had a concept, I wanted to write different stories, and say different stuff, than I wanted to write on my One Blog to Rule them All. I have found, now, the the importance of context.

So my own internal response surprised me. The same is true of sf.metroblogs.com; I sometimes write about my affectionate feelings for place and local geography, but as soon as I had the password for metroblogging, I found I had more to say than I had realized. Once I had a mommyblog, I found a little bit of a new voice.

I also felt that it might be important to let my freak flag fly in the context of being a mom. For other women, to say "here's what that's like - here's my experience - " By "freak flag" I don't mean "I have silly hair". It's that I approach everything intensely. I enjoy my life very intensely and I want to share that, in a way, to give validation to anyone else who has a hunger for life and experience.

It's that someday I hope I'll do something really cool and amazing and be able to write about that. For now, it's just my daily life and my thoughts. And our daily lives, the way we experience them, are important. We should value that now, as we live our lives, not later when we remember them from our hospital beds, or never, or only in the imaginations of our grandchildren after we're dead.

Here's a hard thing to talk about. One response I didn't expect was that other moms and other mommybloggers started acting like I was famous or something. That was just weird. But it made me realize it must be important to say what I'm saying. That people come up to me, and want to meet me, is really nice, but it can also sometimes be a sort of pressure; people want something from the experience of meeting me, they expect something. I want to be able to give it, whatever it is. I hope this does not sound stuck-up, I'm just trying to be honest, and it's a new thing for me. It's new for me to have people meet me and feel they know me, when I don't necessarily know them; and it's new for me to feel a certain responsibility for what I say, because I know people are listening or reading.

Continue reading "Mommybloggers dish with Liz Henry" »

Posted by mommybloggers at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Emily and Cooper - give us a little background on your friendship, and how you decided to start your fantastic blog Been There.

Cooper and Emily: Way back in 1988 we were introduced on Cooper's first day at work at a Washington, DC public affairs firm where Emily was already climbing the ranks. We both attended Kenyon College at different times, so our co-workers thought we should know each other. By 1992, we both had left that firm for the promise of the Big Apple. And soon we were working together again when Emily opened her own PR company and brought Cooper in as her number two. Good times in New York and then Cooper started to have babies, Emily wrote a book and had babies, Cooper moved to Pittsburgh, and Emily moved to the NYC suburbs (although we can write it in a sentence, that all took about five years.) No longer interested in the hard driving, corporate life, we decided to write a book together, and in the process, Been There was born.

Mommybloggers: Is it difficult to keep the mojo working with the miles that separate you?

Cooper and Emily: Not at all. We see each other about once a month (God bless Jet Blue), but with several thousand emails over the last year alone, iChat and our 35 phone calls a day, we are more connected to each other than we are to almost anyone else. A better part of the communications are spent cracking each other up. Like when Emily was on the phone with Cooper and started to pull her car away from the gas station without having taken the gas nozzle out of the tank. Luckily for everyone, as the hose dragged beside the car, gas was no longer flowing.

Mommybloggers: You are both published authors. How do you feel that blogging has affected your writing?

Cooper and Emily: We love the blogging writing style. It has so much energy and the authentic, conversational tone of it makes it such a better read than, say, an article in a parenting magazine or on a web site. In many ways, the process of blog writing has shaped our writing voices.

Mommybloggers: We have to ask...are you mommybloggers? What do you think about the term "mommybloggers?"

Cooper and Emily: A resounding YES! We embrace the mantle with pride and honor. "Mommyblogger", like "Mother", is much more multi-dimensional, complex and deep - just like all of us - than some in the world give us credit for.

Mommybloggers: So, you guys have a parenting book in the works, and you're working away at it. Suddenly, Hurricane Katrina arrives, and your focus shifted overnight. Tell us about the Been There Clearinghouse. Was this the first grassroots relief effort you've undertaken?

Cooper and Emily: Yes. Overnight we went from mommy bloggers to running a collaborative relief network. Basically, when Katrina hit, we put the word out on our blog, asking visitors to list in the comments if they had any goods they wanted to donate to people from the Gulf Coast who lost everything. This was only a day after the levees broke, and all of us, as we watched our televisions, were devastated to see people stranded on rooftops and parents searching for their children, and we all wanted to do something, anything, to help. As that first week unfolded, we were blown away when our request out to the Internet struck a chord and tens of thousands of people came to our site.

We linked up with some big groups that were helping evacuees find housing so evacuees could hear about all the offers on our site. Not long after that, the stories started pouring in – people so badly wanted to talk about their ordeals and to say how much it meant to them to receive packages of goods through the Clearinghouse, with their name on them, and with exactly what they needed inside. And with that (and on other really cool blogs and websites dedicated to Katrina) "connected giving" online entered the world. We hope that "connected giving" and "connected relief" only continue to grow and become more refined, perhaps by organizations with actual resources, and will be ready for the next time.

Mommybloggers: We sat in the audience at BlogHer and cried as Cooper recounted the challenges and triumphs of your blogger-led charge to bring relief to devastated families. How has this experience changed you?

Cooper and Emily: It has completely changed both of us. We saw first-hand that moms, when they set their minds to something, get it done. The Clearinghouse worked because moms and dads across the country got the word out and took action. We have no doubt that moms are changing the world. ‘Naptime activists’ are popping up everywhere, it seems, to make their voices heard online. Just a decade ago (or less), many moms were much more isolated, but now they have the Internet and it’s so very cool to see the connections being made and actions being taken by these incredible women online.

Mommybloggers: Can bloggers really make a difference? What message would you like to send to other bloggers out there?

Cooper and Emily: (Mommy) Bloggers can and will change the world. It’s already happening, and we’re only at the beginning of what’s possible. We can’t wait until the millions and millions of moms who aren’t in the loop yet, discover how relevant and thoughtful and inspiring blog conversations are. Then, all bets are off. Moms are going to make their voices heard, really heard.

Mommybloggers: We've been following the employer interview situation in PA, thanks to MomsRising.org and Cooper's involvement. How important is it for parents to raise their voices and demand change? Where do we start?

Cooper and Emily: Oh boy, this is one of the most valuable lessons either of us has ever learned and we learned it in the last year: It is critical for all of us to demand change where and when we see a need. We all need to accept the fact that our voices count. Each and every one of us has the ability to make a big difference and to affect change, now, just by virtue of the fact that we understand the "blogosphere," that we "live" in this community on a daily basis, and that we can literally reach thousands of people, instantly.

There is so much good that can be done. Every link, every message, every call for action that a blogger puts out there reaches someone who does just that - takes action. We have noticed in recent months a subtle shift in the mommy blogging communtity -- there is still talk and conversation, but there is a whole heck of a lot of action, too. It is awesome and awe inspiring. We feel the earth moving as we speak.

As for Pennsylvania, Cooper wrote a piece (http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06260/721997-109.stm) for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette last week, and www.momrising.org/pa has more information and a link to an online petition. If we can pass this legislation in Pennsylvania (which would make it illegal to discriminate against mothers in job interviews), we can move on to the 27 other states that have the same discrimination practices in place. It could also start a chain reaction on a host of other critical issues that hurt moms and kids.

As you can tell, we get worked up about stuff!

Mommybloggers: We're very excited about your most recent project... The MotherHood.net promises to be a fantastic site. We'd love to hear more about your plans for the site!

Cooper and Emily: We are so excited about theMotherHood.net, we can barely stand it!! We’re designing a site for moms that gets at so much of what we all want online – to connect, to find the information we’re looking for, and to help us accomplish whatever it is we need to get done each day. There’s nothing like it online, as far as we can tell, so we’re hoping moms will see it and will feel, maybe for the first time, that there is an online community where they can be right at home. We’re lucky we have some people who really believe in the project, an angel investor and the most incredible techies and creative people on the planet.

Mommybloggers: With six kids between you, and plenty of side projects, we're in awe of your passion and drive. What motivates you to keep on keepin' on?

Cooper and Emily: In the last year, we’ve been totally inspired by all the moms who came to the Clearinghouse and whom we’ve gotten to know through Been There. All of us seem to be doing much the same juggling act, what with our commitments to our families, schools, communities, and work. In some ways the two of us have it easier, because for our teamwork online, we can back each other up if one of us has kid with a fever or a school field trip.

We keep hearing (and we know first hand) how much it means to moms to connect with other like-minded women, to talk, problem solve, commiserate, make a difference, and we can’t wait to create a site that will let them do that in spades.

Mommybloggers: Emily, give us seven words that describe Cooper. Cooper, give us seven words that tell us more about Emily.

Cooper: Emily is brilliant, beautiful, kind, perceptive, driven, wise and fun.

Emily: Cooper is inspiring, creative, hilarious, caring, beautiful, focused, and oh-so-smart.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

What is your favorite parenting-related word? Love What is your least favorite parenting-related word? Judgmental

What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? WTF and friggin’

What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? Our offices.

What hiding place have you been found in too often, and can no longer use? Our offices.

If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? These ladies have made the world a better place and they are so much fun.

Continue reading "Mommybloggers dish with Cooper and Emily" »

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This week's interview is going to start a bit differently than most. Before we get into our "hard hitting, ground breaking" questions, we wanted to hand the blog over to one person who has known her the longest and has a very special relationship with our good friend, Kelly. So, without further ado from us, in the words of her very own daughter, here is Mallory telling us more about her amazing Mom.

"Kelly, Mocha, Mrs. W" to her friends and her students, "Mommy" to only 3 very special, and all alliteral M-named, kids. Sharing my mother has never been easy for me; seeing her be changed from my mommy to a wife was a hard change and then you add on two more to the family, plus a dog, a mortgage, hundreds of students, masters' classes and a handful of ever-expanding friends and a lot of "Mommy" time is gone. But we have a secret, my mother and I do. Mom comes home almost religiously every day to a nap. Once some time has set in, where she's rather groggy and half-way to her REM sleep, I sneak into the room, very carefully arrange a pillow, and silently lisen to mom sleep. Those times are some of the most memorable, most connective moments that I've ever had with her. Sure, we are great with exchanging words, whether in laughter or in anger as we both have a great pair of lungs, but being able to connect on a level most people will never know with a woman most people will never forget is something I'll never lose sight of. A great momala, a fantastic teacher, an understanding friend, and one hell of a blogger, my mother couldn't be replaced by anyone and I am proud to be her daughter.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.- Maya Angelou

And that's my mom.

Mallory Lynnae

We could so end this right here because that says more about Kelly than any interview we could do. However, we did put her through the work of answering questions, so now we will here from Kelly herself.

--------

Mommybloggers: One of the reasons we love your blog so much is because you have the ability to make us wipe tears of laughter away one minute and tears of empathy the next. You are an amazing writer and we appreciate you doing this interview with us. Ready? We'll start small. Feel free to be as honest as you need to be about this. What do you think of the fact that they are no longer considering Pluto a planet?

Kelly: Seriously, I’m a little concerned. First, we have Mickey Mouse who owns a dog. I mean, really. A mouse who owns a dog? And then the dog doesn’t even talk, but the mouse does? That reminds me…what’s up with Goofy? What is he? Is it a he? Oh, pardon me. My kids just told me you were talking about the planets. I was all confused. That’s easily done.

Mommybloggers: You became a Mom a month after you turned 15. Obviously it impacted everything about your life. But the fact that you stood strong and made yourself the best Mom you can be and the best person you can be is an amazing testament to who you are. (I mean, you were crowned Homecoming Queen when she was just 2 years old.) How do you feel being a teen Mom impacts your relationship with your daughter as she was growing up and now that she is older?

Kelly: The fact that we grew up together isn’t at all lost on me. I made no pretenses about the fact that I did NOT know what the hell I was doing and was parenting by the seat of my pants. Of course, now I realize that every mother does that. It taught me a lot of humility and made me somehow more ‘real’ to her as a person, not just a mom. The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to have fun being a mother and my kids have a great sense of humor. This house is full of laughter.

Mommybloggers: How do you feel it affected your relationship with your sons when they were born since you had both age and experience under your maternal belt?

Kelly: I still realized that I knew nothing, but I was smart enough to know that these were entirely different beings so it was as if I had to start all over again. And then again with my last son, too. There are days when I look at all of them and wonder, “Who are these creatures I’ve created and cared for? Why am I so lucky with them?� Then, I ram my head into a hard cabinet until that feeling goes away and I remember just how difficult this mothering thing is.

Mommybloggers: We have to tell you that we have great admiration and respect for you. A single mom at 15, you graduated respected among your peers, went to college, met an amazing man and are a successful, happy woman currently going for her Masters. Where do you think that inner strength you have comes from?

Kelly: I am the most stubborn and irritating kind of person. Normally, it’s a bad quality, but I used my powers for good. Yoda would have been proud of how I used the Force. In truth, I only went to college because everyone said I’d be a failure and end up on welfare. Nothing made me happier than proving them wrong. Also, I come from good German stock.

Mommybloggers: With all that you have been through in your life, what do you see has been your biggest challenge or hurdle in life?

Kelly: I have had a hard time forgiving Richard Cranium. It’s not that I don’t want to, because this is an awful burden to carry around, but I want to do it for Mallory and for myself. He’s just so damn stupid. It’s hard to forgive the stupid.

Mommybloggers: You are quoted as saying: "I didn't get caught up in the mommyblogger-vs.-everyone-else-drama because let's face it: I have enough drama to deal with in my real life that I don't need to take on virtual ones." If you could just make one statement that would shut up this controversy, what would it be?

Kelly: Women need to stop being so hard on other women.

Mommybloggers: Is there anything you won't write about on your blog? Anything off limits or not "for blog consideration"?

Kelly: For the most part, I don’t talk about things that my children experience because those are for them. They don’t live to provide me with blog fodder, but I want them live in such a way as not to fear reading about it on the internet or that I’m writing it down instantly. I’ve kept journals for years and years and those are for them. I also stay away from religion and politics. That is for when I’ve had a few beers and can wrestle you if I can’t win the argument. Since my children can all read (and occasionally read my blog) I try not to talk about sex. When I do, I warn them just to see their faces screw up and hear them say, “Eeeeewwww, Mommmmm.�

Mommybloggers: Describe yourself in 7 words that would have our readers able to walk away feeling as if they know who you are.

Kelly: Verbose, determined, funny, intuitive, compassionate, fragile, open-minded (do you know how hard it is for a verbose person to limit it to seven words?)

Mommybloggers : Tell us a secret that no one knows.

Kelly: On the day that the newest The Gilmore Girls DVD comes out I go to Best Buy as soon as they open so I can buy it. I have taken a morning off of work for this.

Mommybloggers: Okay, it has to be brought up. There was a little rumor about a bit of a cat fight between you and "another blogger" over the whole mocha momma vs. javadiva thing and a challenged was issued to see who can out coffee the other. Care to confirm or deny this?

Kelly: I can only say this: my espresso intake has quadrupled since this “challenge� was issued and I believe I experienced a small stroke this afternoon. Also, I think I may have said something like, “I can drink you under the table in all things caffeinated!� Let’s just say I’m in training, ok?

Mommybloggers: Your daughter just got inked with the most awesome tat ever. (The back story on that can be found here on Kelly's blog.) What was your initial reaction when you saw it?

Kelly: My very first reaction was tears because I was so touched by the thought. I immediately bent down and kissed her foot.

Mommybloggers: And because you are so cool, you, too are inked. Care to share with us what and where it is?

Kelly: I have an ankh on my right shoulder blade. It’s an ancient Egyptian symbol meaning “life, soul�.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (*With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1.What is your favorite parent related word?

Cuddle

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Wipe

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Nucking futs. They gasp when I say it anyway.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

I hide in the cleaning supplies closet. No one EVER looks in there but me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

In bed with Jayne (my laptop, for those who don’t know I name inanimate objects) watching a DVD. Everyone comes in bed and tries to crowd around a 15� screen until I end up taking it out and moving the DVD to the family room tv.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I think you’ve got something there with that Allen Series. How about a paid sabbatical from teaching to finish writing that book?

We have loved the chance to get to know Kelly better and hope you have too. Be sure to come back tomorrow when we turn Mommybloggers.com over to Kelly as she shares one of her own essays with you.

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Mommybloggers: We loved meeting you are BlogHer. You are a hoot! Are you naturally outgoing or is it something that is dependent on your surroundings. Because, honey, we have pictures that say you are certainly not shy!

Karen: Most of the time, I'm outgoing. On the inside, I'm a complete MESS. Seriously: nervous, jittery, drooling mess. As a child I was always shy, probably because I was ugly as sin and kids called me things like Chicken Legs and Bucky The Wonder Horse. I was built like a rake - not one of those $9.99 models either. Dude, a premium rake that could kick leaves and take names. As a result, once I had my braces off and my curves had arrived, I was PRETTY. Dammit, I wanted everyone to know it. Then I had kids and the body went to shit, but I realized that people liked me for my personality. So they say.

Mommybloggers: You have said more than once that you had a rotten childhood. In a few entries you talk about it. How has that impacting your mothering and your view on motherhood?

Karen: If I find myself yelling, I stop myself. I raise my kids with healthy doses of love, listening and sarcasm. 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I don't spank. I don't believe in spanking. No animal, child or person should ever be hit. Except in football. Go Cowboys!

Sometimes I find myself comparing my mannerisms to my mothers, and I have to really stop and think about whether it is a good one or one I don't want my kids around. I bounce alot of stuff off my husband. He is an amazing father and was raised by normal, loving parents. So if I'm stuck, I have them to turn to as well. They are as much family to me as my own extended family. (My parents are not a part of my life at all.)

Mommybloggers: What kind of kid were you growing up? Do you see those same traits coming out in your own children?

Karen: Well besides being butt-ugly, I was an introvert. I was really good in school and only once did I defy authority. I told a supply teacher she was ugly, on a dare. I turned 100 shades of red as she made me apologize, in front of everyone.

I was afraid to break a rule. To a point, I still am. I think it's the constant brow-beating I got from my mother that puts the fear of God into me. Weird how someone so pathetic has shaped me into this rule-fearing person.

I don't see these traits coming out in my kids. I purposely give them choices, rather than telling them what to do. I try very hard to foster whatever loves they have: with Dylan, it's reading, and with Thomas, well, it's chocolate milk. And his trike. I don't ever want to squash them as I was squashed.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret.

Karen: I honestly believe I will feel nothing when my parents die. I am emotionally bankrupt when it comes to them. I have no regrets. I do, however, feel guilty for not loving them anymore. I'm pretty confused about all that. Obviously.

Mommybloggers: Describe yourself to our readers using just 7 adjectives.

Karen:

Unique
Happy
Loving
Proud
Quirky
Moody
Funny

Mommybloggers: The Mommybloggers are dropping in. How will you entertain us?

Karen: Well there's always the crab dance. (*Editor's note: If you have not wet your pants laughing with Karen, this should do the trick!) Though I don't actually own that trampoline, so we'll have to improvise. We could make some coffee, throw some Bailey's in it and hang out on my back deck where we'd laugh until one of us peed ourself. Ahem....Jenn.

Mommybloggers: Since you brought it up, there seems to be a rumor that you had this issue at BlogHer of laughing until you peed your pants. Care to confirm or deny this rumor?

Karen: Deny, deny, deny!

Mommybloggers Have you had any bad experiences with blogging?

Karen: Not really bad. There were a couple of comments I had to delete - one of which I suspected was my own father, but I can't be sure.

The weirdest thing was being recognized at a local diner. The waitress recognized Thomas and I. Freaky.

Mommybloggers: So you proposed to your husband, down on one knee. Tell us about
his reaction and how that came about.

Karen: Well....I was naked. So his reaction to that is always favourable. Even
since I had the kids and my body changed, he's always been a fan of the nakedness. Crazy bugger.

You have to know this about me: if I have a gift for you, I cannot keep a secret. I will literally feel as though I may implode if I cannot share this with you. So for me to go out and buy this amazing man an engagement
ring (THAT MORNING - SEE? NO patience!), then spend all afternoon with him, probably acting like a Mexican Jumping Bean - well that is huge.

We got into bed that night, and I was SO excited. I couldn't wait. He KNEW something was up. I couldn't wait. I jumped out of bed, and he asked where I was going. I yelled something like, "Be right back!" and
grabbed the ring, in it's little box, sticking it behind my back.

I crouched down beside his side of the bed and he and he propped himself up on one elbow and asked me what I was doing. I told him I loved him, and that I would love him forever, and how special he was to me, and asked him to grow old and wrinkly with me.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he said yes. He grabbed me tight and we stayed like that for a very long time. Nowadays my knee would be screaming at me, but then, I was all of 118 pounds and my knees were in
fine shape.

We've been married 8 years now and it's still as wonderful as it was that day. Better, even. Sometimes we look at each other and say, "Is it really that hard for some people?" and "We are so lucky." And we are. Neither one of us take that for granted.

Mommybloggers: You told a story about jumping from the front of the van to the back to slam the hatch that you noticed was not closed all the way while in a carwash in order to save the beer (not the van) was hysterical. Always save the beer. (It did make us love you just a tad more after reading that!) Now, had you ruined the van, would it have been worth it to save the beer and ruin the van?

Karen: Well, it was Cindy's van. Cindy is a dear friend of mine. Had I ruined her van, she might have thanked me. Had I known the outcome of such an insurance claim, I might have chanced it. For her. And for the beer.

Mommybloggers: If we tell you how much we love you, will you make us some nipple cookies? Explain nipple cookies for those who are not aware.

Karen: I love love love marachino cherries. When I was little, my Granny used to make these Christmas cookies with cherries in them. I know I should have just called her for the recipe, but that one looked so easy on the internet. Damn internet. Once the cookies were baked, there was nothing to do but blog the shit outta them!

Mommybloggers: Lately we have seen many blogs being designed by the amazing Troll Baby Graphics. What got you started in blog design? Is it something you do because you can or is it a passion of yours to find the right graphic to fit the right blog?

Karen: I got started by playing around in Paint Shop Pro, years ago, making little graphics for online friends on message boards. Once I started blogging, one of the first things I did was stare at my old Blogger template for hours, figuring out how it all worked. I bought books on eBay and taught myself. I'm still teaching myself.

I am passionate about my work. I love meeting new people and making their personal space, their very own. I was close to quitting before BlogHer, but was inspired by many of the women I had designed for, and decided to
keep it up. I'm glad I spoke out about my concerns, because everyone was very supportive toward my little piece of the web.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (*With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Bedtime - not because the kids go to bed, but because it is the source of
some very tender moments for us: kisses, hugs, talks and snuggles. My
favorite time of day.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Milestones - only because so many competi-parents rely on them, and
"experts" judge us on when they are reached. Parents are experts, and I
wish more parents would take that term for themselves.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around
children?

Fartsucker. I use it instead of "Oh shit," or worse.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

The back deck. I just quit smoking again, but I step out with the dog when I need 5 minutes. Honestly though, that isn't as often anymore now that Thomas is older. The first year of his life? I was on the back deck.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The bathroom. Thomas finds me in there, and exclaims, "Boys have penises
and girls have Vaginasaurs!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Um. Duh. Oprah DOES exist. Did you not know that? I totally want to meet her. When I was a little girl, I wanted her to be my mother. She taught me alot about right and wrong from about age 9 upwards. Thank God. If I had listened to my own mother, I'd be an alcoholic, abusive, screaming banshee.

Be sure to check in with us tomorrow when we turn over Mommybloggers.com to the always entertaining Karen Rani.

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Mommybloggers: You know we have to ask about the name. Izzymom? So is Izzy short for anything? A pseudonym? An evil side personality? Do share!

Izzy: Izzy is a nickname. I decided to use it for blogging because my husband reminded me of some nutjobs I became entangled with in another internet community several years ago. Everyone used their real names and it came back to bite some of us when things went sour. I wish I had a juicy story to tell or a naughty alter ego to refer to but alas...it's just a case me being cautious and heeding my husband's suggestion.

Mommybloggers: Love the devil logo. How did you come up with that?

Izzy: Awww thanks! The backstory on the 'lil devil is that several years ago, someone gave me a stock photography CD that contained an image of the little devil doll and I was immediately smitten. I had always wanted to use it for something personal but never did. When I moved my blog to Wordpress, I started looking through all my old stuff for ideas. I came across that image and knew right then and there that I had to use it. I still don't know if it's a girl or a boy, though.

Mommybloggers: So you were able to kick your firstborn out into the real world of kindergarten. Tell us how that went over inside your heart.

Izzy: The actual act of sending her to kindergarten didn't get to me as much the memories of her first days of preschool. It made me very melancholy and got me thinking about how hard it was for me to leave her at preschool when she was 3. I just kept peeking in the window to make sure she was okay. And then the second day, there was a field trip that parents had to attend and her best friend at the time, who also had just started at this preschool, dissed her really hard. My daughter was heartbroken and kept calling after her friend, begging her to be her "buddy system" partner. I wanted to throttle the other kid for hurting my little girl like that. Those are the things I was thinking about as I let my baby go out into the big bad world of big kid school without me. Thankfully, she is so much more confident and independent now. I guess it was worth it to go through all the crap early on. These days, my heart both aches and swells with pride as she enthusiastically hops right out of the car with barely a nod to me. But it's hard to acknowledge that she will never be my little baby again.

Mommybloggers: We had the honor of meeting you at BlogHer and noticed that every time we looked up you were holding court, laughing and having a good time. Are you kidding us when you mentioned on your blog that "it was with great trepidation, for I am not what I would call socially graceful."? You are a natural in a crowd. Or were you faking it? (Come on, we all fake it now and then!) Do you fake it?

Izzy: I must admit it's interesting to see yourself through other people's eyes! But no, I don't fake it...lol Basically, I tend to feed off the energy around me so if it's a positive vibe, I can circumvent all that awkwardness and just be myself. At BlogHer, I felt this very positive energy swirling around and it's like crack to me. It's elating! But not knowing that it would be like that, I was a little nervous. I was afraid people might be snobby or cliquey and fortunately, that wasn't my experience at all. I had a blast!

Mommybloggers: What do you personally think about the term mommyblogger? (Yes, we do have to ask.)

Izzy: Personally, I don't mind it. I know some feel it's dismissive but I believe words only have the weight and power you give to them. No matter who you are or what you do, you're going to have critics and people that look down at you. That's the way of the world. I try to ignore that kind of crap in every other part of my life so I can't see allowing it to bother me in this particular arena and in some ways, I find the term kind of empowering. At Blogher, Erin (Queen of Spain) and I talked about how, as a group, we have a lot of power. I believe the term we bandied about was "a mom army". In other words, we are a force to be reckoned with if we choose to use our collective power that way.

Mommybloggers: How long have you been writing? Blogging? Being just generally cool?

Izzy: I've always enjoyed writing and words and language. Though not ever employed as a "writer" I was always the "go-to" person whenever people needed copy or a blurb or an article written or anything like that. I've toyed with the idea of writing fiction but as I lamented to my writer friend, Wendy Boucher, it's like scrapbooking...there are just too many options. You could take a story in a limitless number of directions. How do you decide? I've concluded that I need to collaborate with someone if I ever want to do that. As for blogging, I've only been doing that for nine months, though it feels like years sometimes. And generally being cool? Hmmm. I think I became cool-ish in college. Or rather, I PERCEIVED myself as terribly cool around that time. However, I make no claims to actual coolness...lol

Mommybloggers: How has blogging changed your social life?

Izzy: Oh man! In some ways, it's ruined my social life and in other ways it's enhanced it immensely. I say it's ruined it because I no longer feel compelled to hang out with or befriend people that are really not a good fit. Well, hello-o-o-o! That describes a lot of my "in real life" friends that are local to me. But to my benefit, blogging has made me realize that there are people that I click with and that "get me" all over the place and they are just a few mouse clicks away. So in some ways I feel really pathetic but in other ways, I feel like you guys inspire me to hold out for the real thing because it DOES exist.

Mommybloggers: Tell us more about Cool Mom Picks and how you got to become a part of that.

Izzy: Kristen and I had been friendly from our early days of blogging. When she came up with the CMP idea, she dropped me an email and asked if I was interested in being involved. And then she proceeded to put me through long interviews, rigorous psychological testing and extensive background checks to make sure that I was, in fact, a cool mom. I guess I passed ; P

Mommybloggers: You have Izzy Graphics. What do you love most about making graphics for other people? Would you consider it your passion?

Izzy: It's definitely my passion. When you're a designer doing the corporate daily grind somewhere, you almost never get to flex your creative muscle or spread your proverbial creative wings. You're always forced to kowtow to people with bad taste that don't even know what they want half the time. It's frustrating. But as a freelancer, I pick and choose the jobs I want and who i want to work with and I get to interpret people's visions or sometimes help them find their vision and I love it. I actually really enjoy my work about 99% of the time, which is pretty damn good, I think.

Mommybloggers: List 7 words that would best describe you if those were the only 7 words you could use to introduce yourself to a stranger and have him/her walk away feeling as if they know you better.

Izzy:
restless
loyal
demanding
sentimental
empathic
funny
scrupulous

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret. We won't tell. (Okay, we totally will, but tell us one anyway.)

Izzy: *stage whispering* Sometimes I get bored with blogging.

Those are the times when I disappear and a post languishes for 4 or 5 days. Then I come back all invigorated and ready to rock.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

"Love" or wait...maybe it's "bedtime"

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

"discipline" is so not fun...

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

"I don't give a flying fig" is a perennial favorite.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

The bathtub, without a doubt. I'm a huge fan of lolling about in the tub with a book or a stack of magazines.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

Regretfully, I've never had anyplace else to hide besides the bathtub.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

"Meet the women who are going to change the world."

Check back tomorrow as we turn Mommybloggers.com over to the always funny and engaging Izzymom!

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Kathryn! We just adored hanging out with you at BlogHer. One thing is troubling us, though... you call yourself "Daring Young Mom." We need the story behind the name, missy.

Kathryn: No, I love you more. Seriously, thank you so much for paying my way to the big show. It was fabulous to meet you all.

Daring Young Mom is a play on words from the old song “He floats through the air with the greatest of ease, this daring young man on the flying trapeze.� I love the juxtaposition of images between a graceful acrobat and my staggering attempts at new motherhood. When I googled the phrase “daring young mom� and it came up with zero hits, I knew I had a winner… or possibly it sucked so bad that no one would ever think to plagiarize it.

Mommybloggers: We love your sarcasm and winning sense of humor. Have you always been so funny?

Kathryn: Funny “ha ha� or funny “did you forget to take your medication�?

Mommybloggers: When did you start blogging, and why? Have you always been a writer?

Kathryn: After Magoo was born, I was “advised� to find a hobby to help with some post partum anxiety. I told Dan that I thought I’d try my hand at writing for publication. He “advised� me not to choose a hobby that involved masochistically sending my handiwork to publishers like a lamb to the slaughter. So I chose instead to narcissistically send the intimate details of my life out to the internet like a pig to a pedicure.

I have written for years but did not consider myself a writer until I had an audience larger than my immediate family.

Mommybloggers: We'd love to know about your background. What kind of kid were you? Did you know there was a trapeze in your future?

Kathryn: I was born and raised in Alberta, Canadia with 4 siblings, several dogs who mysteriously died off one by one and 2 taller people who never let us sing while we played cards. I liked to throw myself out of trees in desperate attempts to break one of my limbs so I could get a cast, have it signed, and become the most popular girl in school.

If I had known about the trapeze, my rise to the top (by way of crashing to the bottom) would have been much smoother.

Mommybloggers: You're courageous in your fight against the smell of ghostly poultry. You meet celebrities with reckless abandon. Is there anything you won't talk about on your blog?

Kathryn: Things that will make my children vomit if they read them are not acceptable blog fodder over at Daring Young Mom. For example, I do not blog about the activities that made the miracle of their lives possible or my addiction to the music of the Backstreet Boys.

Mommybloggers: We've got to ask: what is your take on the mommyblogger label? Are you a mommyblogger?

Kathryn: I just don’t like labels in general. We spend way too much time trying to classify each other and not enough time really listening to what others have to say. “That’s a humorous liberal Jewish Chinese woman’s mommyblog,� does nothing but narrow my expectations of what I’ll find when I visit the site. I’d much rather hear, “I read a really engaging blog today by a woman who’s passionate about her family and has a truly unique voice.� I guess the problem is that this world is less about conversations and more about 20 word sound bites.

I do cringe when someone other than my children refers to me as “mommy.� It’s rarely infrequently not unpatronizing. Gosh! I love negatives.

Mommybloggers: We just can't get enough of your writing...where else can we find you? Do you have any new projects in the works?

Kathryn: I’m currently blogging for Parenting.com and the Seattle PI newspaper website. I also have an LDS blog on the backburner and am still working on growing out my mullet. No, I’m not pregnant.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your interest in documentary films - is there a documentary in your future?

Kathryn: In college I studied English Literature and Media Arts, my final project being a documentary about rape and sexual assault, and I’m really passionate about film. Currently Laylee and Magoo are too wussy to hold a boom mic or carry a tripod and I haven’t made any great film connections in the Northwest but I have a few ideas. If you’d like a job as a cinematographer where you will be paid in crocheted hats and homemade Indian food, please contact me.

Mommybloggers: We love that you host Daring Family Freestyle Rap Battles. In fact, we're thinking that there needs to be a way to incorporate it into BlogHer 2007. Can you give us a sample of your lyrical prowess?

Kathryn:

Get yer tooth-BRUSH from the vanity, OOO let’s fight cavities

You better put away the play-doh, this moment
You own it, you better never let it go
Crusty. You only get one tub, do not miss your chance to show
Grammy your sculpture once before bedtime, yo

You really don’t get the whole experience with just the words on the page. If you could picture me as one of the white moms on Oprah trying to “get down� with one fist raised in the air, attempting some wooden-legged booty-poppin’ as they watched Mary J. Blige perform recently, you’d feel like you were actually there in our living room for a DFFRB. Laylee and Dan like to add some flava with a sweet two-fingered wiggedy-wiggedy faux-vinyl-spinning maneuver which I plan to incorporate into my own routines at some future date.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Squidge

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Why? or Ungh-ungh-ungh-ungh-ungh!

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? BOOP! We’re so square around our house that we have censored versions of our censored curse words. CRAP! became C-R-A-P! became POOP! became BOOP!

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? The solarium – but until we have one of those, the bathroom is my “safe room� of choice.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The imaginary solarium

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? Just kidding! We’ve been reading all of your blogs and we’ve decided that more than increased traffic, you really need to be the audience for the biggest ever edition of OPRAH’S (that’s me) FAVORITE THINGS!!!

Check back tomorrow as we turn Mommybloggers.com over to the always hilarious Kathryn of Daring Young Mom.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Hello Alice. (shy awkward silence)... Hi. Hi Alice. Alice. AAAHL-ICE. The Mommybloggers just want to say that we really love your work. LOVE IT. Alice... The finslippiest of bloggers. Oh Alice. We just love you. Is that weird? Alice. Oh God. Are we making you feel weird? Oh GOD! ALICE! We swore we wouldn't DO THIS! Alice? Where are you going Alice? What about the interview, Alice? STOP! STOP Alice, STOP!

Where did you learn how to write like that?.

Alice: Aw, shucks. Everyone in my family is a writer. It just came all natural-like.

Mommybloggers: You have been blogging since January of 2004. What inspired you to start your blog, Finslippy?

Alice: It was a bet. I lost, and it was either start a blog or kill a man with my bare hands, so I picked the blog. (Later on I did kill a man, but apparently I was cheating because I used a tool, whatever Mom I GUESS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.)

No, seriously, I was talking on the phone with my sister, and we were discussing blogs and she said, "Why don't you have one?" And I thought, crap, why don't I? And thus was Finslippy born.

Mommybloggers: We heard through the grapevine that you were working on a children's book. We also read about some short stories, and other writing projects you are working on. Tell us a little bit about your current projects.

Alice: Oh, the children's book. It's done, I'm fiddling with it, but I think it's too odd to be sold anywhere. And yep, there are some short stories. I have other projects as well, but oooh, I'm secretive. You're going to have to wait to find out. Oooh. You're intrigued. (I don't know why I keep writing "oooh" but I can't stop. Oooh. You see?)

Mommybloggers: What do you hope to accomplish via the written word in the future?

Alice: I should like to write a sentence that doesn't make me throw up.

Mommybloggers: Alice, you cover many details of you life in your writing, but please indulge us with a little information about who you are. What kind of a kid were you? Where did you grow up?

Alice: I grew up in Long Island, the child of circus folk. Actually to an Irish father and Italian mother (that's why I'm feisty!) who bore a daughter and son well before I ever showed up. I grew up awkward and anxious, the kind of kid who would stand under the tree all the other kids were climbing and shout GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK YOUR NECKS. I won all the spelling bees. I went to the school nurse every day. I was obsessed with Billy Joel. I was a delight.

In high school I discovered The Theatre and was in all the plays and sang in every chorus and wrote pomes and basically annoyed the shit out of everyone.

Mommybloggers: What inspires you to write?

Alice: It's the only thing I can do with any skill, so I'm more or less stuck with it.

Mommybloggers: Alice, many of your posts detail your experiences as a mother, and the life and times of your son, Henry. There are many priceless posts that left us gasping for air through our own laughter. One quote in particular illustrates your gift for detailing the asinine and wacky. You once wrote:

You know who else doesn't get irony? Toddlers. Do not appreciate the irony. Also, they give terrible pedicures. Also: have no self-control when it comes to the application of cologne. And: they often fail to respect the walk-on the-right-side rule and will weave back and forth like drunks, irritating pedestrians everywhere. And that's not all: they begin every friggin' argument with "Allow me to play devil's advocate for a minute, here.

We love the way you embrace the off-the-wall and ridiculous.

Another of our favorite quotes regarding your son:

Holy crap, how I love that asshole.

That comment seemed to be in response to an earlier post in which you referred to your son as an asshole. In the context in which you used the term, it was clearly meant to be tongue in cheek (we found it to be hilariously funny). Anyone who reads your material would see that you clearly adore your son. Did you suffer for taking the risk that people would "get it"?

Alice: I think "Holy crap, how I love that asshole" would sum up my feelings for everyone in my life, really, including me. I have to say I don't suffer much, if at all, for any of my risk-taking. People seem to sense that I am at heart a goofy clown and have responded to what I felt were risky statements with mild bemusement.

Then sometimes the comments I think are the least innocuous strike a nerve with people (like my post on supermarkets when I dared mock the elderly). I guess you never know who you're going to offend or why, so you might as well say whatever you're going to say.

Mommybloggers: What kind of experiences have you had with unwelcome comments?

Alice: So very few. Anyway, the people who are really crazy are easy to ignore. The ones who have a valid beef, well, they deserve to be heard, right?

Mommybloggers: Right. One time I made fun of Munchausen syndrome by Proxy and got into trouble because people actually HAVE that, and it's not just a made-up disease you see in movies like "The Sixth Sense". We live and learn.
Tell us a little about the flip side of that coin. How have your readers influenced you in a positive way?

Alice: In more ways than I can say. They're the reason we moved to our town. One of my readers referred me to a friend, who lives in the neighborhood we were considering, and really sold it to us. They've steered me in the right direction and given me advice and reassured me and showed me that I'm not alone and taught me things and baked me pies. I feel that I owe them more than I give, except that I don't owe them any pies because no one ever actually gave me a pie no matter how much I begged.

Mommybloggers: Alice, you write with characteristic candor and self-deprecating humor about all things related to motherhood. In one post, you describe a tough morning in which you pretty much came unglued with your son. You went on to reflect on your own experiences with parental anger as a child with excruciating emotional clarity. It was a powerful post about anger, guilt, and how difficult it can be to cope with the stresses of motherhood while facing, and perhaps reconciling, your own childhood fears. Is it scary to share details like that with your audience?

Alice: Definitely. I was sure I was going to get comments calling me a bad mother and a raging harpy and maybe a syphilitic she-devil. But if anyone thought it, they kept it to themselves.

Mommybloggers: Alice, you witnessed a frightening car crash a while back that left you withpost-traumatic stress disorder. It took a while for you to divulge the details of that experience with your readers. What prompted you to finally share that experience?

Alice: It's just me—I can't not share what's going on in my head. I've tried to hide things and then I get all achy and distracted and nothing I write comes out any good. So I didn't have a choice, really.

Mommybloggers:Are you glad you opened your kimono regarding that experience?

Alice: Well, it sort of let loose the floodgates on me and my wacky moods, so, hmm. I don't know. Sometimes I wish I had wrapped the kimono a little tighter and done a funny little jig instead of getting all intimate and stuff. But I don't think it would have worked. I think you would have been all, "What's with the weird dance? And what's that under the kimono?"

Mommybloggers:Alice, you recently moved from Brooklyn to New Jersey. How is that going for you?

Alice: Some days I love it, other days I want to run screaming back to my beloved borough.

Mommybloggers: What is the best thing about moving to Jersey?

Alice: Henry's preschool and the Montclair Y. Both of them are spacious, clean, diverting, and reasonably priced. Only one of them allows me to sweat to the oldies.

Mommybloggers: What will you miss the least about Brooklyn?

Alice: Living on the first floor. The soot drifting across my living room! The kids asking us for directions through our window as we watched TV! The utter absence of natural light!

Mommybloggers:Alice, you stood up for all the disenfranchised bloggers of the parental persuasion at last years BlogHer when you grabbed the microphone and characterized Mommyblogging as a "radical act". I get choked up just thinking about it. What was going through your mind at the time?

Alice: Make Melissa cry. Make Melissa cry.

Mommybloggers: What do you think about the term "mommyblogger"? Love it? Hate it?

Alice: I'm not a fan, to be honest. I'm all for owning the name, but it's just so belittling a term for the hardest job in the world—much less the hardest job in the world that happens to be unpaid and also causes stretchmarks. It's infantilizing. Parents should command respect, and for me being called a "mommy" just makes me feel like I spend my day eating Ritz crackers with E-Z Cheez and watching my stories on the teevee.

Mommybloggers: Bacon flavored E-Z Cheez is best for story-watching.

Thanks for talking with us, Alice. Have we told you lately that welove you? Because we do. We really do.

Alice: I'm so glad you said it first. Because I… I love you, too. Wow. That felt good to say. I love you. I love you. I don't know where this is going, but I know I can't live this lie any longer. I'm off to tell my husband right now.

Mommybloggers: And last but not least: here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Naptime.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Backyardigans.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

I never catch myself in time. I curse like a sailor and then clap myhand over my mouth, and then try to convince Henry that I was talking about The Funk again. (He knows I'm a huge George Clinton fan.)

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

I have no hiding place. No place is sacred. Help me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The porch. The basement. The bed. Under the bed. In the shower. On the toilet.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

"Who are these people? Mommy-whaters? I can't work like this. Whose idea was this? What's a blog?" and then as she continued to shriek at her underlings we would set upon her like crazed hyenas.

Posted by mommybloggers at 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Hello, there, Dorothy! Or should we call you Surrender? Which is it?

RIta: Actually, I’m Rita. I’ve been blogging as Dorothy for about two years now, but I’ve given up on the idea that nobody will ever know who I really am. It’s sort of like trying to force a nickname at band camp.

Mommybloggers: We are all big fans of your blog - how did you discover blogging? Have you
always been a writer?

RIta:My friend C. over at Average Jane forwarded me an entry by Alice Bradley of Finslippy. The entry was about judging mothers and how to do it best. My daughter was three months old at the time, and I felt like everything I did was wrong and someone would be coming very soon to take her away from me. This was before I saw Britney Spears driving with Sean Preston in her lap and realized it’s sort of hard to remove children from their mothers for using the Costco brand of Enfamil.

I’ve been a writer since about age twelve. My first poems centered mostlycon unicorns. In high school, I was heavily influenced by Edgar Allan Poe and wrote a lot of bizarre stuff that I now can’t remember writing. Or even
thinking. Who was that girl? Embarrassing.

I wrote a horrible first novel that never went anywhere while I was temping at Mutual of Omaha and living in my parents’ basement between Chicago and Kansas City. When I got to Kansas City, I decided I needed help and got a
master’s degree. If you want to hate yourself, go to a graduate-level writing workshop. I’m now working as an editor, and that makes me really happy. I think going through the motions of getting the master’s made me own
my writing more, and that’s a good thing. But you don’t really need one.

Mommybloggers: One thing that really stands out in your writing is your obvious affection for your family. Even with difficult subjects, you always manage to create a positive spin. Are you always so upbeat?

RIta: No. It’s all done with mirrors.

I really use this forum to try to find the humor in situations in which I’m secretly doubting myself or paralyzed by anxiety. I’m prone to melodrama and melancholy, actually. I use the blogging to find the lighter side – to see the situation from the outside, like someone else would. It really, really helps.

Mommybloggers: We ask all our guests - what do you think of the term "Mommyblogger?" Are YOU a mommyblogger?

RIta: I love labels. I think we should have more of them.

Seriously, though, it doesn’t bother me. I have categories on my blog –parenting, marriage, writing, teaching, politics, working for the man…I have strong feelings on all of those subjects. I write about my daughter most
because a) I’m shocked on a daily basis by the lack of control involved in parenting and b) I want to have a record of these years. I went to a friend’s baby shower in Chicago a few weeks ago, and her mother gave her a
baby book containing all of these little slips of paper with funny stories about her childhood. I was so happy to realize I’d have a digital version for the little angel.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your growing up years. We'd love to know where you came from, and what your ambitions were.

RIta: I’m so tempted to quote The Jerk by that question.

I grew up in small-town Iowa, population 5,000. One-fifth of the town lived at the Iowa state hospital school for the mentally retarded. I don’t know why I put that in, but it’s hard to leave it out. I am the older of two daughters. My sister is a very talented writer and editor who works for a textbook-publishing company in Chicago. My mom was a teacher and my dad is a farmer who fell back on mechanical engineering.

What else? I was a fat kid whose mother had cancer twice when I was in middle school, which led to an eating disorder that lasted through high school and college. I haven’t blogged much about that yet, but it also colors my personality. I’m a self-doubter and a perfectionist. It’s hard for me to be nice to me, and blogging helps me, as I said, view my life through someone else’s eyes. We’re always nicer to other people than we are to ourselves.

I met my husband through a proprietary Lotus Notes database. It’s a long story. He impressed me with his killer wit and kindness. My dad always told me to marry someone you secretly think might be a better person than you are. I think I did. But I still like to make fun of him, anyway. He’s a great dad and an amazing human being. I’ve been a lot less critical of myself since he’s been in my life. He’ll never read this, though, because he doesn’t read my blog. Does anyone’s husband read their blog? Besides Heather Armstrong’s?

Mommybloggers: Teaching writing to students with challenges must be rewarding, but difficult. What is the one lesson you try to pass on to all your students?

RIta: Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, tell them what you told them. Do that, and you’ll be fine.

Mommybloggers: You've written about the freedom you feel when you blog, and how it affects your ability to self-censor in other areas of your life. Is there anything you avoid writing about?

RIta: I try not to be cruel. I don’t think blogging is a good forum for that. If I’m going to be cruel, I write a short story and
disguise the characters. I also try to avoid writing a lot about my family or my husband’s family. They didn’t ask to be part of my blog, and so I try to keep it to stuff that’s purely mine. My sister and I have a deal that we can’t steal each other’s lives for our own stories, and I think that applies to my blog, too. It’s unfortunate, because she has so much material that I’d love to use.

Mommybloggers: For many of us, reading and writing about motherhood helps us to become better, more relaxed parents. Is this your experience?

RIta: Oh, absolutely. I’ve written you, Jenny, about the little angel’s sleeping problems, and I’ve also written to other mommybloggers. Everyone’s always been so nice, and I’m always amazed at how many people actually write me back with great stories.

Mommybloggers: Your blog is full of colorful descriptions and vivid details. Do you approach life from a writer's point of view, or do certain details from your day just leap out at you?

RIta: I can’t turn it off. I make people uncomfortable. Last week I noticed one of my male co-workers has started
shaving his arms, and I couldn’t help pointing it out.

Mommybloggers: We are so excited to meet you at BlogHer... you are going, aren't you? What are your goals for the conference?

RIta: Yes, I’m going! I’m so excited to meet some of the people I feel like I already know. I’m trying to build traffic for Surrender, Dorothy right now. I’m part of the BlogHer ad network and am working on a separate writing project that involves motherhood, so my first goal is to figure out this world and how I might live in it more fully in the future. You never know where life’s going to take you, but blogging has opened some writing doors for me and given me much more confidence to delve into certain subjects. See you there – I’ll be the one with the wine glass.

Mommybloggers: Finally, here are the questions that we subject all our interviewees to - a
la Inside The Actor's Studio:

What is your favorite parenting related word? reward

What is your least favorite parenting related word? night-time parenting

*What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Melonpicker (this is a substitute for "motherfucker")

What is your favorite hiding place in your home where you go to get away from it all? The Internet

What is the hiding place you have been found in too often and can no longeruse? my bed

If Oprah exists, what would you like her to say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? I loved your latest book.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Thanks for joining us, Anjali! We are delighted to introduce you to our readers. You're a busy mother to two active girls, with a husband who works a long, grueling schedule. How do you find time for such thought-provoking, near-daily entries?

Anjali:Thanks so much for having me! What a great site!

Anjali:Finding time to write is quite a challenge, and one that I don’t seem to manage all that well most of the time. But, it does help that my girls, who are now 4 and 2, are at an age where they can play together (or fight like cats and dogs, depending on the position of the moon). It helps having a laptop so that I can travel around the house where they are currently wandering. Also, when my husband has some down time in his work schedule, he takes over the girls completely, and then I write like mad. And last but not least, I am a true night owl, and can regularly be found in front of my screen with a hot cup of tea at midnight.

Mommybloggers:We really enjoy your ability to share the daily adventures of a mom in the trenches. We found ourselves nodding in recognition as you recounted fibbing to your pediatrician about infant milestones, grimacing as you searched for Gibby, and doing that laughing/crying thing as we read about your adventures at the Target photo studio. How has reading other mother bloggers impacted your outlook as a new mom?

Anjali: Reading the writing of other mommy bloggers has inspired me to take a more “Type B� approach to parenting, as opposed to my “Type A� usual self. It has also allowed me to enjoy parenting more, because I’m not spending as much time regularly recalling all of my screw-ups as a mother, and believe me, there are many. I’m also not as self conscious, because when my girls are simultaneously screaming and crying on the floor of the Seattle International Airport at 8 am (sorry, Seattle, for the disruption), I know that there is another parent somewhere going through the exact same thing.

Mommybloggers:Several of your published works talk about sharing your South Asian heritage with your daughters. Does writing about your heritage help clarify what traditions and culture you are passing on?

Anjali: I think so. My writing about my heritage is often fueled by fear – fear that my children won’t respect, enjoy, and honor the cultures that shape the fiber of their beings. I worry that they won’t value where they came from, and won’t attempt to understand the roles their ancestors play in their lives. I worry that in a world of increasing political correctness, children are being respected for being different, but not necessarily for actually expressing their differences. So, I write about what I want my girls to know about who they are and where they came from.

Mommybloggers:Have you always been a writer? What got you started with blogging?

Anjali: Well, I’ve always been a reader. For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved curling up with a good book. I think the amount of reading I have done has, in some ways, taught me how to express myself through writing. And now that I’ve really discovered writing, I’m as addicted to it as I am to reading.

Up until a year and a half ago, I had never even heard of blogs or blogging. Then, last spring, a wonderful organization that I’m a member of, Mothers & More, had several of us members blog for their Mothers Day Campaign to raise awareness about how mothers spend their time. The opportunity really turned me on to blogging, and I started my own blog soon thereafter.

Mommybloggers: What do you think about the term "mommyblogger" - do you consider yourself a mommyblogger?

Anjali: I guess “mommyblogger� is considered a negative term? Perhaps because it assumes that if you’re a “mommyblogger,� then you’re not a real writer? The term is really just a job description for me: I’m someone’s mommy, and I blog. So I’m a mommyblogger. Some of the greatest writers and thinkers I’ve found through the internet are mommybloggers. I’ve read many posts from other mommybloggers that could have easily been features in salon.com and slate.com. So I’m honored, actually, to be in such good company.

Mommybloggers:How much of yourself do you put out there? Do you censor yourself in your writing?

Anjali: The piece that I’ll have up here tomorrow was a breakthrough for me. It is an expanded version of a blog post, which was later published on mamazine.com, where I really put my emotions out there. I am very proud of it, because I finally felt free enough to be honest. Having said that, I still do censor myself in my writing. Although I’ve gotten more and more comfortable with writing truthfully over the past year, I still have trouble really bearing it all. I’m still weary of other people’s judgment.

Mommybloggers:You've been published in many wonderful journals and online magazines - where else can we find your writing?

Anjali: I recently started blogging for dot-moms. And I’m trying out my hand in poetry. My first poem was published in the Spring 2006 edition of MotherVerse.

Mommybloggers:You've written candidly about wanting to return to a professional career outside the home - and yet you are enjoying your time at home, too. What is the hardest part of being an at-home parent with professional aspirations? In an ideal world, what would you do?

Anjali: The hardest part about staying home but wanting some type of career, is finding at least some time to put myself and my ambitions, first. On a nice, sunny day, instead of writing, I’ll think, how can I possibly not take the kids to the pool? I have a really hard time ever saying “no� to my family, and say “yes� to myself. I’m trying hard to remember that my dreams and goals should also be a family priority.

In an ideal world, my husband would work 2.5 days a week, and I would work 2.5 days a week. So, we’d never have to worry about childcare, or finding time to do the grocery shopping. Oh, and we’d also have a housekeeper, and a gardener, and full health and retirement benefits. Hmmmm, I’m quite the dreamer, huh?

Mommybloggers:Okay, tell us: do you still have all your Def Leppard posters?

Anjali: Not only do I still have them, they’re in pretty good shape!

Mommybloggers Give us an insight into just how big of a fan you really are.

Anjali: Well, I still wear my Def Leppard t-shirt on occasion (actually, I’m wearing it right now). And I listen to their music on a regular basis. I get the same adrenalin rush hearing “Pour Some Sugar on Me� that I did when I was sixteen. When the kids are screaming and yelling, and I feel like I can’t take them anymore, I put in Hysteria, my favorite album of all time, and crank it up. When my husband Brian tells me that, instead of making it home in time for dinner, he’ll be arriving at midnight, I put on “Love Bites� and belt the lyrics. Def Leppard is touring this summer, and my best friend and I plan on going to one of the concerts!

Mommybloggers:Please tell us you're heading out to BlogHer this year - we would love to meet you in person!

Anjali: Not this year, but boy does it sound fun! I’ll save my pennies in a jar for next year!

Finally, here are the questions that we subject all our interviewees to - a la Inside The Actor's Studio:

What is your favorite parenting related word?

Birth

What is your least favorite parenting related word?

Discipline

What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Freakin’ (unfortunately, this is now a very popular word in Mira’s vocabulary!)

What is your favorite hiding place in your home where you go to get away from it all?

If I had a lock on any of the doors in my house, it would be a room with a lock. But since I don’t, I’ll have to say the alcove in my bedroom.

What is the hiding place you have been found in too often and can no longer use?

The shower stall!

If Oprah exists, what would you like her to say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

“You were right about Dr. Phil all along. Would you like to host your own show instead?�

Join us tomorrow as Anjali treats us to a wonderful essay.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers:If we dropped over to your house at 9:30am for a cup of coffee, describe the scene around you that we would walk in on. Would you even have coffee? If not, what would you offer us?

Eden: My kitchen would be immaculate, but you wouldn't be allowed to see any other rooms. Also, the espresso machine is on pretty much 24 hours a day here. You want a latte? I'll use the chocolate milk.

Mommybloggers: You have mentioned losing your inspiration and feelings of tiring of
mommyblogging. Do you think Fussy will take on a different tone or go in a different direction anytime soon? Care to share where you see Fussy.org in a few months?

Eden: I go back and forth these days about on how much I should talk about my son, who's turning five. When they're two you can talk about their little psychotic episodes until the cows come home, but when they're five they've become people with a sense of privacy that, duh, demands respect. Fortunately, I'm kind of a part-time "mommyblogger" anyway, I always have plenty of other stuff to think about.

Mommybloggers: What do you personally think about the term mommybloggers?

Eden: I hate it. People have used it against me -- both offhandedly and ferociously -- to infantilize my brain and my blog and my life, non-parents who seem to think that being a mother makes you a second-class citizen, they feel perfectly free to use that term in the most demeaning way possible. It's so bloody stupid, to be so prejudiced against women who are audacious enough to talk about what their lives are like as they raise young children -- and do you ever see these assholes go after the dads? I could go on all day about this.

Mommybloggers: Many of us have your t-shirt that states "Writing well is the best revenge" How did that phrase come about? Did you ever imagine that these t-shirts would become as popular as they have? And what kind of magic dust do you sprinkle on them to make all of our breasts look so amazing when we wear them? (You started a craze, my friend, of blogging t-shirts among many bloggers!)

Eden: The phrase came about after a particularly stupid exchange in my comments with a person who was nuts. No rational commenter could take it, this crazy person would always come back and have the last word and it was infuriating for everyone. I finally realized that the only way I could win was to follow up with a terrific post, and then another, and another, and another. That was the only way to get revenge on this jerk, to be the better writer/blogger.

My t-shirt guy is the one who recommended that particular style of Hanes shirt to me, I'll thank him for you. He's always shocked when I come in for a new order, he just can't fathom how I keep selling these things.

Mommybloggers: Tell us more about your BlogHer session. You are speaking on Day Two (July 29) on the Is Your Blog a Gallery or a Canvas? panel. You'll be addressing blogging as a creative end in itself, from the perspective of a writer. You asked the question: "Why do we need the validation of [bloggers] being in book form? Is the web too ephemeral? Is it because the web doesn't pay?" Care to elaborate or whet our appetite for the discussion?

Eden: It's a panel that will try to address the big What The Hell Is All This About? It's surprisingly useful to examine your reasons for blogging, whether you treat your blog like a conversation, a newsletter, a magazine, an endless autobiographical work in progress. Maybe you labor over every post like it's a little prose poem, or maybe you knock out the posts without revising? Tell me why you strictly tell the truth -- are you making a family record? -- or do you exaggerate to make a better story? Are you waiting to be discovered? By whom? The other two women on the panel are coming at the question from different perspectives, one blogs photos from her cameraphone and one posts pages from her sketchbook, so they approach self-revelation in the blog format with that added dimension. I don't know, I was a philosophy major so I dig this sort of thing. It should be really good.

Mommybloggers:We hear that you are writing a book - is this a continuation of blogging, or a whole new genre for you?

Eden: I started a novel, and then I realized I know nothing about character development or structure. So I'm going to take one of these great online writer's classes from UCLA and see if that will straighten a few things out.

Mommybloggers: Okay, yogabeans! is absolutely hysterical. Tell us where in the world you came up with that? Would you consider that your "play site" when you just don't feel the inspiration to do the whole "blogging" thing?

Eden: Actually, yogabeans! takes a lot more work than Fussy, I have to shoot all the little figures doing their yoga poses, then I have to look at them and figure out what they're saying to each other. It can take weeks to do a single post. I kind of rue the day I ever cooked it up because I still have hundreds of poses to get through, it's going to take forever. But when I get in the zone the posts just write themselves. And it's a good exercise in writing dialog.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about your passion for yoga. Do you really feel calmer? And can we schedule a pre-first-day-of-BlogHer yoga session with you?

Eden: I've been sick and I haven't practiced for a month, I can't even remember what it was like to have that yoga glow.

Mommybloggers: Your haircut experience that was documented daily in photos became so popular and link-able. Did you ever think that people would really care about how long it took to grow out your hair? Any other photo documented essays planned for the future?

Eden: I gave up growing it out the first time because the daily Internet scrutiny of my appearance became too much. This time I'm shooting photos more like once a week, so the pressure's off. It still looks like hell, though. The only other photo essays I plan on doing will be the spontaneous ones, like the carnival or the dog parade. Actually, I should do one on BlogHer, oh, that could be fun.

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret. (Honest, we won't tell anyone. Okay, maybe the thousands who read us, but that is all!)

Eden: I have saved every credit card statement since I've been married to Jack, just in case anyone ever asks me to prove which one of us got us into all that money trouble.

Mommybloggers: What would most surprise your readers about you that they may not know already?

Eden: I took ten years of ballet as a child, including four years on point. My feet are just now recovering.

Mommybloggers:And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?
Bedtime.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
No.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
We don't censor around here, so Jackson spends a lot of time saying, "Mommy, don't say fuck."

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
In bed with a DVD.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

Our third bedroom is an office, but half the time I get on the computer to post or read other blogs Jackson comes in and demands to look at toys on Amazon.com.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I've chosen your novel for our next book club.

Join us tomorrow as the incomparable Mrs. Kennedy shares some of her wit and wisdom with us.

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Jen, first of all thank you so much for allowing the Mommybloggers to feature you. Dare we say you are every BlogHer’s favorite Canadian?

JenB: You may, but you would be missing out on some other fabulous Canadian chicks. J

Mommybloggers: You have been baring your soul to your readers and making them laugh since 2002. Your entries reveal a writer who has mastered the art of combining vulnerability, honesty, and bravery. At the same time, you consistently expose an uncanny and remarkable sense of humor. Have you always been so forthright with your thoughts?

JenB: I don’t feel like I have mastered anything in my writing, so thanks. I have and have not been forthright with my thoughts. As an adolescent, I remember being burned by telling my secrets to someone and have that person tell others. At home, I was mum with my feelings of anxiousness and depression until I was in the hospital at 19 for psychiatric outpatient care. We had a family session where my brother said he had no clue whatsoever that anything had been bothering me for the last 20 years. Honestly though, my brother is the last person I would have told.

Mommybloggers: You reveal a lot of personal history in your blog, but for the sake of this interview, tell us a little bit about yourself. What kind of a child were you?

JenB: I was pretty shy and always afraid other kids wouldn’t like me. I came from a large extended family on both sides and I was the youngest one present at most functions. I felt more comfortable with aunts and uncles than older cousins. I was an anxious nervous kid, my mom would agree. I was a worrier. I do remember a rich make-believe life involving Barbies and Fisher-Price Little People and lots and lots of books.

Mommybloggers: What kind of an adult are you?

JenB: I am an anxious nervous adult, but I mask it much better. That is one thing I have mastered, at least in “real life�. When I had to take time off of work from my part-time job to go to the hospital when I was 19, my boss was completely floored. Apparently I seemed “so together�. I am a much much happier adult than child. When I was about 25, everything seemed to get easier. I still have my challenges but I feel like now I know that I can handle them, even if it might suck to do so.

Mommybloggers: Jen, You once wrote this about your reasons for starting a blog:

June 2004

“Because this is why I have a blog I think. Not necessarily to be cool or popular. But because my blog is my mirror. Somewhat in traffic and comments, but also because it exists. Its mere existence makes me visible after feeling invisible and unimportant for so long. It is sometimes easier to know that someone is reading than listening. I can’t see your blank faces and wonder what you are really thinking about while I tell you some story about stealing Virgin Mary statues off of people's lawns while drunk.�

Mommybloggers: Have your reasons for blogging changed since that entry?

JenB: Oooh, that was a good description of why I blog. Still. I would add that I have found that having a blog has exposed me to a fabulous community of people who also blog (like yourselves and many others). Meeting up with people who I got to know through their blogs has been a mind-blowing and fan-freakin-tastic experience. Last year’s BlogHer is a big example, but not the only one.

Mommybloggers: What or who inspired you to start blogging way back in 2002?

JenB: Mrs. Kennedy, Sarah Brown, Caitlin from Styrofoamkitty/), Mybluehouse, and others. I started reading just a few and then my blog roll exploded into more and more and more.

I really needed the outlet. I was keeping an online diary just for myself, but there was something about imagining that even a few people would read that was inspiring. The vulnerability was appealing, since I protect myself from that almost all the time.

Mommybloggers: How has blogging influenced your day to day life?

JenB: I nararrate my life differently, whether or not it goes on the blog or not. It helps me see how I am living my life through other people’s eyes and gives my own version a different spin. I think I have become more generous and gentle with myself because of experiencing that from other people on the blog.

Mommybloggers: Jen, Your writing is extremely personal and autobiographical. Readers can learn a lot about you in the 4 years of entries you have posted on your blog. You love kittens, gardening, cooking, Lyle Lovett, and most of all your daughter Charlotte and husband Mark. You write about your most complicated relationships, particularly with your mother and your biomom. Does your family read your blog and if so, do you hold back in order to keep the peace? How do you handle blog-related conflicts?

JenB: Neither Mark’s family or mine know about the blog. I am pretty careful to keep it that way. Although if it happened that everyone found it, I think we would all survive. I would just rather not have my mother-in-law see me write “motherfucker� 5 times in one post. The mother of her grandbaby. So far, no familial-related blog conflicts. I try to respect other people’s privacy and not write anything about people who can’t read it and respond. Well, except for the really slow blue-haired lady in line at the pharmacy, she might never know HOW LONG IT TOOK HER TO COUNT OUT HER CHANGE!

Mommybloggers: Jen, you have written many posts that detail personal experiences that resonate the loudly with many aspects of the human condition. Some of the most poignant are those in which you describe your emotional struggles to fit in as an adolescent. There is one particular post in which you share excerpts from your diary that would make the most cold-hearted jerk want to reach out and hug the nearest misunderstood, lonely adolescent. At other times, you detailed your mental health challenges, the grief you experienced when you lost a friend to a drug overdose, and the pain of losing a cherished Aunt to Cancer. Has sharing those stories been helpful to you on a personal level? If so, how?

JenB: Sharing those stories really helped. What helps with grief, sadness, or other similar emotions is learning the commonality we all share in regards to painful experiences. Sure, you can talk with your friends or family about such losses, but the dialogue on a blog can be more honest, caring, and even more brutal, which is sometimes a good thing. I find that loss in particular is something that people in your non-blog life sort of expect you be “over� after a certain period of time. It feels more acceptable, at least to me, to revisit this pain or a memory or guilt, etc., with the blog world.

Mommybloggers: Is it at all scary to write about such personal subject matter?

JenB: Not any more. Seriously? People are so nice and helpful.

Mommybloggers: You have struggled for years anxiety, depression, ADD, and “bipolar lite�. Is there any advice you would like to share with others who might be facing similar health challenges?

JenB: Well, here in Canada, psychiatric care is free, so I encourage everyone to get some of that in addition to any talk therapy from a psychologist or therapist. I wish everyone could have the resources to get a couple of different perspectives, both physiological and psychological when it comes to any emotional problems they might be experiencing. My other advice is that not every therapist or doctor is a fit. If possible, seek out another professional if the one you are seeing doesn’t feel right for you.

Mommybloggers: Jen, please tell us a little bit about your creative process. When do you find time to blog, and how do you typically come up with ideas?

JenB: Reading other blogs, reading books, just living life usually gives me ideas. I wish I posted every day. I found it easier when I had the structure of a 9-5 job. Now I usually post late at night.

Mommybloggers: You were nominated for best personal Blog in the Canadian Bloggies, 2005. You took 3rd place in 2005. Congratulations to you for that accomplishment. Any noticeable differences between your Canadian fans and your American fans (insert joke here)?

JenB: Honestly, most of my readers, and every other blog owner’s readers, are American. This is really a population issue. There are 10 times as many Americans as Canadians. The Canadians get a few more cultural references and colloquialisms, such as wearing a toque and getting a double-double at Timmy Ho’s after a curling game.

Mommybloggers: Any thoughts on the recent hullabaloo about the mommy wars?

JenB: I wish women were kinder to each other.

Mommybloggers: Here’s another pesky question: What do you think about the term “mommyblogger�? Love it? Hate it? Why?

JenB: I dunno, it is like when Feminist became a bad word. Is Mommy a bad word? I don’t like any kind of incorrect stereotype. Like a Feminist is a bra-burning, Birkenstock-wearing, man-hating, hairy-armpitted woman. I dislike the notion that a mommy or mommyblogger might be someone who is obsessed with her kid’s school work and birthday party, is somewhow unhappy with her role in the family, and her only job is playdates, minivans, bad highlights and high-waisted jeans.

Mommybloggers: Jen, you post a lot of gorgeous pictures of flowers. Do you really grow all of those? Please share a garden tip or two.

JenB: I DO grow all of those. For suburbia, we have a decent-sized yard. My garden tip is read, read, read and read about what grows where you live. Garden books are lovely and beautiful and full of great photos, but if it doesn’t grow in your climate zone, don’t bother.

Mommybloggers: You post several photos of some seriously sweet bridesmaids dresses. How many do you have, and which one is your personal favorite / most hideous?

JenB: I no longer own any. I would have to say the headpiece at my brother’s wedding was a winner. For one, A HEADPIECE, and two, it had tulle on it. *shiver*

Mommybloggers: Do the toilets drain in the opposite direction in Canada? Just kidding.

JenB: Well, you can get codeine over the counter here. For cheap. So, for some it might seem like it does.

Mommybloggers: Now onto the good stuff: Your beautiful daughter, Charlotte. How has she changed the way you look at the world?

JenB: You know, I feel like a weirdo, but I don’t really feel different as an individual since having a kid. I mean, I am glad we had her, after all the infertility business getting pregnant seemed like a miracle, but having a kid is a joy and a gas and a pain just like everyone says.

Mommybloggers: Do you plan to share your Blog with Charlotte when she is old enough?

JenB: I don’t think I will really have a choice. I am sure she will find it. It doesn’t worry me.

Mommybloggers: Jen, we can’t wait to see you again at BlogHer. Thank you so much for allowing us to feature you. We look forward to keeping up with you and your blog jenandtonic.ca.

And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

You can be fit and FAT! I have been too cruel to the FAT PEOPLE. (She should read http://www.bigfatblog.com/)

Posted by Meghan Townsend at 10:17 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Jen, the mommybloggers are so happy to have an opportunity to feature you. Your blog is epic at this point, after four years of writing posts. There are certain things that come through loud and clear in your writing: Honesty, love, spontaneity, elation, exhaustion, an appreciation for life’s simple pleasures, and lots and lots of love expressed via the baked good. Four children times four years is about sixteen delectable looking homemade birthday cakes (Mommyblogger Meghan’s birthday is July first. Ahem.). Good heavens Jen, you should open up a shop. How do you find the time?

Jen: Well, I’m always eager to let the housework slide (understatement) if it means I get to make something. Throw in a little healthy neglect toward the kids, and I can make a cake while they watch Arthur videos and stick frozen French fries in their noses.

Mommybloggers: Jen, tell us a little bit about your formative years.

Jen: Those years included, but were not limited to: Texas, California, lots of siblings (3) and step siblings (4), a great many books, one awesome cat, black clothes and stompy shoes, soccer, ballet, swimming, babysitting, a closeness with my family, the Baptist, Methodist and Mormon churches, trick-or-treating above the age limit, and drama. Lots of self-created drama. Oh, also: allergy shots, braces, an inability to fit in, a 1973 Audi with a sun roof and 8-track tape deck, fear of the dark, fear of someone breaking into the house, fear of someone throwing a brick through the window (that was so bad for awhile that I couldn’t sit near a window at night), fear of an airplane crashing into my house. I’m really sympathetic when my kids are feeling afraid.

Mommybloggers: Jen, you have been blogging since July of 2002. Did you write before the dawn of the blog?

Jen: I’ve always kept diaries and journals, and I used to write really stinky poetry. I took some short story writing classes in college, but really I’ve always been more of a journaler.

Mommybloggers: You were nominated for a blog award for the category “Makes me want to have kids�. Looking through the years of pictures of Lex, Nate, Sophie and Willow, I can see why. Your children are beautiful, and your writing, along with the pictures, really allows their personalities to shine. A couple of my favorite pictures are “Baconhead� and “Feral children�. It is a joy to watch them all grow over four years. When you were young, did you think you would have a big family?

Jen: I didn’t think I’d have four children, but I am freakishly attracted to babies. The big family just unfolded, in some cases despite my best intentions. *ahem*

Mommybloggers: You often write about an elusive dream you pursue relentlessly. It seems you have a near constant desire for a quiet moment with a cup of coffee. With four children, how often is your dream realized, and does getting there involve duct tape?

Jen: Now that Willow is three and likes to sit and play in the dirt, or lay on her belly, kicking her feet in the air while watching a video, I do get moments like that. They aren’t always quiet, but I get a lot more time to myself than I did for a long time there. The boys are old enough now that they just pop in to ask things like, “Is asthma contagious?� or “Can-we-go-see-X-Men-Three-even-though-it’s-rated-PG13-please-please-please??!!� (My answer? “Yes, I’ll take you, but only if Wolverine is in this one.� For *some* reason, that weirded them out.) I haven’t used duct tape on them, but I think that’s mainly because I can never find it since the boys have used it to torture Barbie dolls. (Kidding! They only talk about torturing barbies, as far as I know.)

Mommybloggers: How many non-human creatures do you provide food and shelter to?

Jen: I will only feed the iguana, and then only if John is out of town. I guess that technically, I provide shelter to them all. The current inventory: iguana, Asian water monitor, Burmese python, hognose snake, two tarantulas, flat rock scorpion, rat snake (just ‘snake’ isn’t icky enough, they have to call it a ‘rat snake’) and a beautiful king snake. In the backyard there is a tank of bullfrogs, and I try and keep the hummingbird feeders clean and full. That’s, what? Nine in the house, plus frogs outside.

Mommybloggers: What were your reasons for starting a blog?

Jen: I was a late comer to the Hip Mama boards; they shut it down a few days before I discovered it. The ending of the discussion threads had links to blogs, which is how I even found out what one was. I loved what I saw, which was the ability to have an ongoing conversation with people all over the world.

Mommybloggers: How have your reasons for blogging changed since 2002?

Jen: My reasons haven’t changed. I still value the two-way aspect of blogging, and I’m lucky that I’ve made some wonderful friends through my blog. I have recently put ads on my site, but my motivations are the same. I’ve always talked more than most mortals can stand, and blogging lets me do that without aggravating those around me all the time. My hope is that someone in a similar situation who needs an ally will find my site and feel a connection to what I’m saying. It can be crushingly lonesome being a mother, and when I’ve found women whose experiences are similar to mine it has done amazing things for my mood and general outlook. Also, my memory sucks, and I want a record for myself and my kids.

Mommybloggers: How has your writing changed over the years?

Jen: I’m sad to say it’s gone downhill! When I’m looking back for something in the archives, it always seems that the posts are funnier and more “on.� I use more photos now, and I write less about people who don’t live under my roof. In the past I was able to write openly about the major events in my life, like Willow’s turbulent birth and first year. Currently, the major things are pretty private, and while they certainly affect me, they have to do with my children so I’ve held back. (Everyone is okay, it’s just a rough time for us.)

Mommybloggers: You were an early adopter to the whole blogging phenomena. What bloggers inspired you back in 2002?

Jen: The first blog I ever saw, through the Hip Mama Boards, was Small Hands (http://smallhand.blogspot.com/), though she has changed her blog name and address since then to protect her privacy from a snoopy coworker. I got really lucky to happen upon her first, because she’s such an inspiring woman and amazing mother. I read her blog for hours while everyone slept, and then I went straight to the Blogger homepage and started my own. When she linked to me, and sent me an email, I was so unbelievably happy. I still read her every time I get a chance to read blogs. (You should interview her. Seriously. What are you doing here??)

Mommybloggers: Are you an early adopter of technology in general?

Jen: I’m always game for the new gadgets, but my knowledge is so very poor. My family was the first I knew of to get a cd player! And I had a cell phone in 1993! I played Pong and was pretty kick-ass on the first generation Atari games. I clearly remember my dad building a computer at home in the late 70’s. I don’t have the income to buy the latest things, but I am certainly interested.

Mommybloggers: You recently wrote that looking through your archives made you realize how much easier life is now than it was when Willow was a baby. Did you realize, in the beginning, how well these years would be documented when you started your blog?

Jen: Once I began to get into the habit of writing on a regular basis I was immediately grateful for that part of it. I often read things from as little as six months ago and I realize that if I hadn’t written them down, I would have forgotten them. As much as I dread my children reading my blog, I think it’ll be fascinating for them to get a fairly clear view of what it was like when they were little through their own adult eyes. They may remember things far differently than I describe them. In fact, I expect them to!

Mommybloggers: You work more hours than most CEO’s. Easier is relative, I suppose. Why do you think parenting is easier now?

Jen: I finally gave in and let the boys have a game cube. Overall, though, it isn’t mentally easier, just physically. It’s a little less hands-on and hover-over than it was a year ago. Now I can let them all play in the backyard while I do dishes, but last summer I couldn’t. Hopefully next summer, they will be doing the dishes while I lounge in a hammock.

Mommybloggers: Your writing about having Willow as a preemie and the subsequent health issues she faced was especially moving. Watching her grow into a healthy, robust child through your archives is such a joyful celebration of life. How did that experience affect you?

Jen: I’m still figuring that out. When I think about my own experience with all that, it’s tangled up with me very nearly dying while I was pregnant with her. Her birth, which was planned to happen at home, could have been fatal for both of us as well had we not made it to the hospital in time. I’m very mindful of some of my own personal family history, which includes a first cousin who died in infancy and another more distant cousin who has severe cerebral palsy due to a doctor’s mistakes at her birth. I know that we were so incredibly lucky to have come through it all healthy. I’ve got a c-section scar and Willow has some eye problems, but other than those marks on us, you’d never know what a close scrape we had. I don’t love her more than the other kids, but I do love her differently. The same holds true for Nathan, who almost didn’t make it, either. Sometimes I feel a weird kind of survivor’s guilt, but always I am extremely thankful. I still have the NICU phone number programmed in my cell phone, and some tiny hospital gowns and blankets I stole during her last inpatient stay when she was eleven months old. It may sound cheesy, but I think I notice the small beautiful things in the world more often and appreciate getting the chance to see them.

Mommybloggers: Jen, You do a lot of vegan cooking. Reading your blog makes a person very hungry. You could coax the world’s most carnivorous carnivore to give up meat. Any chance you might put a cookbook together? Because we would buy it in a heartbeat.

Jen: If any of the recipes were mine, perhaps, but I generally put my effort into choosing good recipes rather than creating them. My favorite cookbook is Vegan Planet. And I should come clean and admit that I’m a closet occasional meat eater.

Mommybloggers: We know you have done some creative writing in addition to blogging. Tell us a little bit about your writing goals. We would love to see more of your work. What do you see happening with your writing in the future?

Jen: Like nearly everyone else blogging, I have an idea for a novel. So far, I have spent more time telling the plot to people than actually working on it. My main problem (other than, you know, actually writing the book) is that all the story ideas I come up with aren’t original enough to suit me. Working on a book or a series of short stories is one of the million things I want to put time and energy into when all the kids are in school in August of 2008.

I’m really enjoying the BlogHer (http://blogher.org/) community and the numbers of new bloggers. I don’t have plans to stop blogging anytime soon, so I think that all my writing will be focused there for quite awhile.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1.What is your favorite parent related word? Bedtime!!

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Mom?Mom?mamamamamamamammoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooom?MOM!!!

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Farking bastages! Son of a biscuit eater!

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? I have to “pee� a lot. Really I’m reading Bust or the East Village Inky.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The front porch.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? “You look like hell, honey! Let’s get you a massage, a facial, a pedicure and mani – oh hell, FULL MAKEOVER OVER HERE STAT!! AND DON’T FORGET WARDROBE!� And I would be whispering in her ear, “Don’t forget the swank pajamas and high thread count sheets. Also, quality reading material. I really love those ridiculously expensive designer jeans, and who could say no to anything by Armani or Anna Sui. . . shoes, Oprah, I desire shoes and new bras. Non- nursing bras!�

Then I’d love for her to help me set up a foundation that would offer free parenting classes and group talking sessions to people who find themselves holding a little seven pound squalling person while thinking, “Oh, shit, I’m really in for it now.�

Posted by Meghan Townsend at 3:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Chris, we're so happy that we finally have the chance to interview you. How are things at The Little Yellow House? Er, we mean The Big Yellow House?

Chris: Things are good. The house is still standing and I am still sane... in spite of the best efforts of my sons.

Mommybloggers: Actually, we noticed that you changed your blog name to 'Notes From The Trenches' Why the change?

Chris: Well, when I first started my blog I didn't really give the blog name much thought. I had the blogger page open tried a couple of things that were already taken, truly lame things that, in retrospect, I am so glad were already taken. The Big Yellow House popped into my head. Most likely because one of my children was really into Bear in the Big Blue House and I unconsciously stole the title. But the thing is I never really liked it. It sounds so happy and sunshiny.

My house isn't even really yellow. Shocking, I know. I'll wait while you compose yourself.

So when I decided to move away from blogger and get a domain name, big yellow house in all it's possible forms was already taken. That made the decision easier. I then began the quest for a completely new name.

A lot of people wrote me and told me they were disappointed. I guess they related to me as an owner of a yellow house. A few said that they would not read my blog if I changed the name because notes from the trenches sounded so dark. It was then that I knew I had found the right name.

Mommybloggers: You're an outspoken authority on parenting without perfectionism. You've gone head to head with a number of "Perfect Mothers" in your quest to educate and enlighten today's mothers. Do you feel like your message is getting across?

Chris: Oooooo, I'm an authority... I'd better let my family know.

I never thought about getting a certain message across. Mostly I just try to keep it real and write about how my life really is with my pint sized posse. There are times that I am exasperated, times that they make me laugh, times I want to run away, but there is always the undercurrent of love and awe that I got this lucky in life. I don't deserve it.

Mommybloggers: You've got what, four, no, wait...five, six, seven kids. You've got seven gorgeous kids, and you homeschool, right?

Chris: I know... I lose count sometimes too! Yes I do homeschool.

Mommybloggers: Tell us your secret! We must know!

Chris: Lots of coffee. And lots of duct tape.

Mommybloggers: Oh, um. We meant the secret of how you find time to write.

Chris: See the duct tape answer above.

Mommybloggers: You manage to take the day-to-day events of your life and spin them into hilarious tales. Does your family appreciate how funny you are?

Chris: No, I don't think they do. Though they should, dammitall. Afterall, I am an authority.

Mommybloggers: You also write heartfelt, memorable posts about the milestones in your children's lives, and about your own challenges. How has blogging affected your writing?

Chris: Well, I finally feel like I am accomplishing something tangible. My blog stands as record of my days as a mother of young, and not so young, children. I think that is what is so appealing to mothers about this sort of writing. Writing about our individual experiences in motherhood legitimizes it, gives it value. Not that it doesn't have an intrinsic value, it does, but blogging is a way to add to the collective voice. It says, "This is important work." In my real life, days will go by without me having an interesting conversation with another adult.

Also, there is something fulfilling about writing that if I have to put on another puppet show out of toilet paper tubes for my potty training daughter, my head will explode and having other mothers agree that cleaning up brain matter is messy and best avoided.

And I get to talk about my boobs.

In years past I think most mothers suffered along in quiet isolation.

I wish that there had been blogging around when I had my first child. It is so much more comprehensive, accurate, and real. I don't know, I never found the space in my oldest sons' baby books to write an entry under the heading "The time I felt like chucking you out of the window because you wouldn't stop crying." or "Oh it was so funny when my boobs were painfully engorged and your father accidentally brushed against them. So I kicked him as hard as I could. We don't know if he'll be capable of fathering anymore children." Those are the sort of things I want to remember.

Mommybloggers: You created a line of tshirts for mothers who are sick of pretending that we love all our children equally. Seriously, you had us spitting our drinks at our monitors. What fashions do you have planned for your fall collection?

Chris: I was surprised that people actually bought them to be perfectly honest.

For fall I am thinking of a line of accessories, such as customized muzzles/scarves that say, "Won't shut-up" or "I talk too much" Or maybe a shirt for myself that says, "yes, they are all mine. unless you want one."

Mommybloggers: We noticed on your list of forty things before forty, you list 'ride a roller coaster.' Does this mean you've never ridden one?

Chris: Uh, no. I completely freaked out on the Dumbo ride a few years ago at Disney World. I was on it with my 3 yr old and he and I were fighting over the bar. He wanted to go high and I wanted it to stay nice and low. And then at the end of the ride where all the flying Dumbos go in the air I started screaming and laughing in that hyperventilating, one step away from a straight jacket type of way.

The rollercoaster is something I am going to have to work up to. You know bladder control after seven children is not what it used to be.

Mommybloggers: From the stoned cats on your lawn to your never-ending renovations, it seems that The Big Yellow House could be chaotic. Yet from your series of answers to stupid questions asked by people who can't imagine having more than two children, it seems like you've got a routine down pat, and an ability to roll with the punches. How much of yourself do you put out there?

Chris: I am not organized person, I just play one on the internet.

It is a tough balance trying to decide what to share and what to hold back. I am relatively transparent about myself and my own faults. I try not to write anything about anyone that I would not say to their face. I'd love to write things about certain acquaintances and I have hilarious stories about family members and their love for Velveeta and Precious Moments figurines, but alas I must hold back.

I also try hard not to write anything that smacks of airing dirty laundry. It wouldn't be fair to my husband since he doesn't have a blog to dish about me. Not that he has anything he could write about me. Nope, nothing at all.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? mama

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? puke, followed by the words: in my bed

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Oh, we are supposed to censor ourselves. That must be in the perfect mother newsletter that I haven't received yet.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? We have a screened in sunporch where the children never think to go looking for me.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? Any room inside the house, my children are nothing if not persistent in their quest to tattle on one of their siblings.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I will never offer advice about motherhood again, since I am NOT EVEN A MOTHER, and will from now on defer to all of you... and to kick it of I am sending all the mommybloggers of a month long cruise where there will be 24 hour round the clock child care, 24 hour round the clock alcohol consumption, and 24 hour round the clock calorie free food to eat. And here is a big bag filled with all my newest favorite shit for you to have.

Be sure to check back with us tomorrow as we feature an essay written by Chris!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Your blog is named Wonder Mom. It conjures up images of a Mom with a big red cape with WM on it flying valiantly behind her as she has a toddler on one hip and the car keys in the other with the power of more than 100 PTA presidents. Are we close? So how did you come up with the title Wonder Mom?

Kris: Yes, you're close. But forget the cape and add a Golden Lasso of Truth along with super vision and hearing -- all of which come in handy with kids, as you can guess. Sometimes I wear the golden braziere and tiara, too, depending on my mood. All I'm missing is an invisible airplane so I can high-tail it out of here once in a while. Just an hour to myself, that's all I need!

In summer 2004, when my boys were four and two, I read Dooce obsessively (didn't everyone?). One day she visited Mighty Girl, and I thought the superhero concept applied nicely to motherhood. So when I found myself at the "create blog" prompt at Blogger, "Wonder Mom" sprang to mind.

I like "wonder" because it implies more than just having super powers. For me it bring up that sense of awe we all feel when we look at our kids, and that sense of uncertainty. Half the time as a mom, I wonder if my kids will turn out OK. I wonder what the heck I'm doing. I wonder what I can pull out my hat for dinner. It's the most seat-of-the-pants thing I've ever done. So, when I chose Wonder Mom, it was a nod to all the superpowers that motherhood requires, but also to the fact that, as a mom, I don't know everything. The quote on my site, "All wonder is the effect of novelty on ignorance," sums it up pretty well.

Mommybloggers: You've mentioned you were the world's worst telemarketer. How so?

Kris: Let's see, I used to hang up on people when they answered so I wouldn't have to say the same sorry spiel for the 743rd time that night. That's pretty bad, right? I worked for a frozen meat company, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I experimented with veganism soon after I left that job. In three months I made one sale, if that. Seriously. They tried to make me a supervisor just to get me off the phone.

Mommybloggers: So about the fact that you enjoyed working in editing. Ummm, does that mean you are going to edit this interview and sent it back corrected and publishable? Because I am pretty sure you will have a big job ahead of you if you try.

Kris: I wouldn't dream of tinkering with a master Mommyblogger's prose! Well, I did make one little change, but I changed it back.

Mommybloggers: Rumor has it you had a massive crush on Scott Baio and then betrayed the Baio for Michael Jackson. Would this fall under one your early life regrets now?

Kris: I don't regret dissing Scott, at all. But Michael? I just feel dirty.

Mommybloggers: You used hypno-birthing for your babies. Explain to our readers what that is and why you chose to use that method when delivering your children.

Kris: Childbirth scared the hell out of me. I always said I'd sue my OB if I didn't remain numb from the chest down throughout the entire ordeal. When I got pregnant, my friend recorded an episode of Dateline about women using hypnosis to have pain-free births. I was so impressed, I would have flown to Florida to see the doctor they featured! But luckily, Marie Mongon, the founder of Hypnobirthing, is located about an hour from me, in New Hampshire. So, I found a local class.

I chose hypnobirthing because it talked about a comfortable birth experience where the mom could be in control at all times. Hypnobirthing classes remind women that our bodies are designed to give birth, that women have been doing so for thousands of years, and the concept of horrificand painful childbirth is one part history and another part cultural stigma. The idea is that women experience heightened pain in childbirth in part because of fear and stress. As the contractions intensify, stress levels go up, muscles tighten, and pain increases in a vicious cycle. In hypnobirthing, instead of getting scared, you relax more deeply as the contractions get stronger.

My births weren't all pain-free bliss, but they were awesome. I'd like to see a version of Hypnobirthing replace the childbirth classes found in most hospitals today. Even for women who plan to get an epidural or C-section, the relaxation techniques can help so much.

Mommybloggers: You mentioned that you have suffered from low self-esteem off and on, but that pretty much resolved itself after you had children because you were "too tired to care." Can we just give you a huge high 5 at that statement! As a mom to 3 young children, does low self esteem even enter into the equation anymore?

Kris: Well, not in the same way. Whereas before kids I wondered if I was interesting or funny enough to hang with certain people, now I worry that they will see the snot on my shirt or be able to tell I haven't washed my hair in four days.

I'd be lying to say that I'm ultra-confident now. I still have my insecurities. For example, when Mommybloggers asked to feature me, I was convinced it was all a mistake! Also, I think the self-doubt I've experienced as a mom is worse than any other kind. I mean, I'm creating humans here! Messing myself up is one thing, but what about hese helpless innocents? Who will protect them from my shortcomings?

On the other hand, though, motherhood has shown me how strong and resilient I can be. These kids! They are so relentless with their needs and their testing of my patience! But I can't throw my hands up, say "I suck at this," and walk away, because they need me, and because I love them. And because I'm pretty sure someone would call child protective services. My oldest son, Ben, has told me, "You're fired," several times. Perhaps he's channeling The Donald.

Mommybloggers: You are also a contributing writer at DotMoms. How long have you been writing there?

Kris: Since November 2004. Actually, I started Wonder Mom in hopes of impressing DotMoms founder and editor Julie Moos. I feel honored to be a part of that group.

Mommybloggers: You've written about having a major case of MomBrain. How is that going for you now?

Kris: I've since read that "mom brain" is a myth and that women become smarter when they become mothers. So perhaps I'm misinterpreting my absentmindedness and inability to think three related thoughts in a row as a weakness. Maybe it's really a strength. Or, maybe when Ava starts sleeping through the night things will improve. Or, maybe ... umm, what was the question again?

Mommybloggers: Tell us a secret. One thing your readers may not know about you.

Kris: My readers know quite a bit, now that I think about it. They know, for example, that I applied for one of those slick, payrolled mom-blogger positions over at ClubMom, but I didn't get hired. What they don't know, and I can announce it here, is that my network-savvy husband and I have hatched a diabolical plan to redirect all ClubMom blogs to Wonder Mom. Mwahahahhaa! ClubMom blogdom will be mine!

Mommybloggers: What is your favorite part about blogging?

Kris: Making connections with so many people, knowing I'm not alone in this sometimes isolating SAHM gig, having readers respond to what I write, and having the oddball business opportunity or freebie thrown my way. I have to say, though, being featured on Mommybloggers is the highlight to date!

Mommybloggers: We ask this of the moms we interview: What do you think of the term "mommybloggers"?

Kris: I knew the moment I typed in "Wonder Mom" that I would write mostly about motherhood, so I have nothing against being in that group. In college, I remember reading Living Out Loud by Anna Quindlin and thinking, "Once I have kids, I'll have sooo much to write about." And I do. Kids provide endless fodder, most of it hilarious and poignant and heartwrenchingly representative of the human condition. It's no wonder moms find they have so much to say.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

It's a toss-up between "hugs" and "good-night!"

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Stomach flu. I tried to think of something more original, but so far, nothing strikes fear in my heart quite like a barfing toddler.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

I don't have any, although I should probably come up with some. Now and then I'll say "poop," but only because it makes the boys fall down laughing, which gives me the opening to escape to ...

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

... the storage room in the basement. It has a deadbolt and a door to the back yard, if necessary.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The bathroom. They damned near knock the door down.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features all of our featured Mommybloggers?

"You've heard me say that mothers have the hardest job on the planet. [applause] The hardest job! [applause] So today, everyone in the audience is a mom, and today, EVERYONE WILL GO HOME WITH ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!!!!!!" [applause, fainting, screaming, applause] And, featured Mommybloggers, you each get a book deal!"

We hope you have enjoyed our chat with Kris. Be sure to check in with us tomorrow when we will feature an essay written by WonderMom, herself. In the meantime, to read more from Kris, visit her personal blog WonderMom.

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 2:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Thank you for joining us, Lucinda! Tell us, how did you become a blogger?

Lucinda: I actually started my blog without knowing anything that a mommy blogging community existed. About a year ago, I decided to start using the baby's nap time to work on my writing. I liked the idea of an online journal that anyone could read and comment on, so I created a Blogger account, thought up the name "Suburban Turmoil," and started posting.

For the first three months, I didn't tell anyone in my real life about my blog and had only about five loyal readers. Very slowly, I started discovering other bloggers and gaining a small readership myself. Eventually, I had to tell my husband about the blog because I wanted to hire a blog designer. He was pretty shocked that I had been blogging for months without his knowledge.

Mommybloggers: You write under the assumed name Lucinda Ferrara, which we just love. You also don't reveal your family's names, preferring to use nicknames. Does this allow you to discuss subjects that you would otherwise avoid? How much of yourself do you put out there?

Lucinda: This is an interesting issue for me right now, because I'm working out the details of a project that would require me to use my real name on my blog. In the beginning, the idea would have horrified me- I was convinced that if the other moms in town knew about the "real" me, they would show up at my house in a mob with clubs and pitchforks.

I've had such overwhelming support from moms online, though, that I've slowly been telling more and more "real life" people about my blog and so far, I haven't lost any friends over it. I'm finding that there's an enormous freedom in "exposing" my blog to people I know. I'm sure I will get some criticism from the community if I use my real name, but then again, why would I want to spend time and energy on people who wouldn't like me if they really knew what I was thinking, anyway?

My close friends would tell you that my blog is all me. I am in real life who I am on my blog- "Only you're funnier on your blog," my husband would probably say! However, I'm careful not to write anything that would hurt my daughters or my husband. I don't really believe in airing my dirty laundry online; I save that for e-mails!

Mommybloggers: As a full-time stepmom to two teenaged girls and mom to a toddler, you find time to juggle your writing with the kids' schedules, and manage to have dates with your spouse. What's your secret for keeping your sense of humor?

Lucinda: I am very lucky because my daughter still sleeps 2-3 hours every day while my stepdaughters are at school and that is my writing time. Period. If people call me during that time, I tell them I'm writing and hang up!

I am also very lucky that my stepdaughters are of babysitting age and constantly in need of money. My husband and I get in a date night about once a week. We also go on a weeklong honeymoon once a year when the girls visit their mom. We take the baby to stay with my parents. It has been wonderful for my marriage.

As for my sense of humor, I quickly discovered that writing funny posts makes me feel better about my life in general. Through blogging, I've begun looking for funny and quirky things about my everyday life, rather than slogging along like so many others in a gray, suburban existence. My outlook has vastly improved.

Mommybloggers: Your writing can be found all over the web - at DotMoms, Mamazine.com , The Whole Mom, Mothers Movement Online and you've graced Mommybloggers.com with your hilarious story "Star Cross'd" - is there an art to getting your work out there?

Lucinda: Well, before I started my blog, I was submitting my writing to publications and getting rejection letter after rejection letter. My blog has been my golden ticket to getting published. I guess editors look at it and think, "Well, somebody's reading her, so I guess I'll give her a try..."

Mommybloggers: You're an Emmy Award-winning former television journalist - any regrets about walking away from your star-studded career?

Lucinda: No, no no no no no! Celebrity is not all it's cracked up to be. Anchoring the news got mind-numbingly dull and as a reporter, I never knew when I'd be assigned to go knock on the door of someone who'd lost a husband/child in a tragic accident/murder and ask "How are you feeling right now?" and "Would you talk to me about it on camera?" I had enormous ethical dilemmas about that kind of thing. Beyond that, I felt I had proven myself in TV news and was very happy to leave that career behind.

Mommybloggers: Dish with us - celebrities, rock stars...you've had the opportunity to meet a lot of famous people. What has been your favorite encounter?

Lucinda: I live in Nashville, so I've interviewed nearly every country music singer out there. I know things that would make your hair curl...

The people who were nicest aren't necessarily the most famous- the author Nicholas Sparks, Dolly Parton and singer/songwriter Rodney Crowell stand out. And I love interviewing country singer Blake Shelton- He just cracks me up. Most of you probably don't even know who he is.

The most difficult interview? I spent five hours grilling Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn about every detail of their lives for a biography program. Five hours, people. And some of the stuff was really uncomfortable to talk about. After that interview, I figured I could do anything!

Mommybloggers: You mention in your 100 things that you've sang on British Radio, and at Westminster Abbey, and yet you haven't graced the public with your dulcet voice since your 23rd birthday. What the heck happened at that party? Did you get injured crowd surfing?

Lucinda: Ha ha! No! I just went in a different direction and now, I'm so rusty, I'd be embarrassed to sing in front of anyone but my daughter. My last public performance occured when I took the microphone from the singer of a small jazz ensemble at a ritzy nightclub and performed for the crowd. My girlfriends had taken me out for a night on the town and I was showing off. I'm a closet Cole Porter junkie- I know the words to most of his songs.

Mommybloggers: We saw your three-way with upcoming Mommybloggers featured guests Susie Sunshine and Lisa of Niihaus. How has the internet affected your social circle?

Lucinda: Until I met Busy Mom in person (she lives about five minutes away), I worried about meeting bloggers or talking to them on the phone. But when Busy Mom and I get together, we never run out of things to talk about. It's been the same way on the phone. I think I could've easily pulled an all-nighter with Susie Sunshine and Lisa if I hadn't had to put the baby to bed. Tuesday night, I talked to MommaK for an hour and it was just wonderful. She's a fellow stepmom/mom and she totally gets it.

I have a good amount of friends here in town (most of whom don't know about the blog) and more friends I keep up with in my hometown (who do know about the blog). My blogging girlfriends are becoming another cool social circle for me. I'd really love to get together with them one weekend for a girls' trip. We'd have a blast!

Mommybloggers: We're still hoping to talk you all into joining us at BlogHer this year. It's not like it's a cult or anything.

Lucinda: Oh yeah, I know. I would be there in a heartbeat if I had the cash. I should hold a carwash or something!

Mommybloggers: Tell us about this Brady Bunch fixation you have.

Lucinda: Man, you really did your research!

I've always had a thing for the Bradys. When I was in high school, a crazy friend and I would call each other on the phone after school when The Brady Bunch came on and watch it together, discussing each scene and laughing hysterically. It's funny- I haven't seen my friend in years, but he reads my blog and is probably reading this right now.

Mommybloggers: We've howled our way through your hilarious posts about potty training. We've been there, or we'll be there soon. How's that potty doll working out for you?

Lucinda: Little Miss Piss? Oh, she's doing very well, thanks for asking. Only now, Baby has graduated to watching me pee. She stands right in front of me when I'm in the bathroom, points, laughs and says "I likes! I likes!" Another thing they never told me about being a mother...

Mommybloggers: Along with MommaK, you've founded a monthly award called "The Perfect Post" - given by bloggers to bloggers. What was your inspiration? Can anyone participate?

Lucinda: I had been thinking about the concept for a long time- I've always thought that amazing posts deserved some kind of award or extra recognition. I mentioned it to MommaK and we worked out the details. She makes a button each month that winners can put on their site and a few days before the awards, we e-mail it to all the awarders to give to whomever they choose and we link the awarders and awardees on our sites.

It has really taken off and I just love doing it. Everybody feels good, anybody can participate, and I have been introduced to so many great writers as a result.

So if you're reading this and you want to give out a Perfect Post Award next month, e-mail me at lucindathemom@yahoo.com and I'll add you to the mailing list.

Mommybloggers: What else is in the works for you? Movies? Meet-ups with celebrities?

Lucinda: Well, there's the aforementioned Big Project that will probably change my life if it all works out (and not so much in a win-the-lottery way as in a no-turning-back-you're-a-kinda-snarky-writer-and-now-everyone-on-your-street-knows-it way). So keep your fingers crossed.

And I'm also working on a little somethin' with Susie Sunshine, Lisa of Niihaus, MommaK and a few other lovely ladies. That's going to start up soon if all goes well.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Mommy. I love hearing my daughter say "Mommy." Unless it's attached to "I have a poo poo."

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Poo poo (see above).

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

I'm not very good at the censorship thing. But I'm getting there, so curse words are turning into whatever I can come up with at the last minute.

Fu-ddy duddy!
Bi-scuit eater!
Shi-boygan!

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

There isn't one. My husband comes and finds me no matter what. I've told him a few times that I really wish I still had my own bedroom- just to have a place to go and be alone during the day and look at my Ricky Schroeder posters on the ceiling...

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The liquor cabinet? Just kidding!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

Lucinda, I laughed my ass off reading your blog! Can I link to you?

We hope you've enjoyed our chat with Lucinda - be sure to check back tomorrow as we feature a guest entry by the hilarious Lucinda of Suburban Turmoil.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Kristen, the Mommybloggers adore your open, honest, no-holds barred way of writing on your blog. You really have a way of writing that makes your readers really feel like they know you. With a blog name of Motherhood Uncensored, we have to ask, is there anything that you consider off limits in your writing on you blog?

Kristen: It’s funny that you should ask that. I just got a real life card (like they still make those??) from a fellow blogger who shared a bit more about her family and work that she keeps off her personal blog and when I went to write her back I realized I had absolutely nothing to tell her that she probably didn’t already know.

I’m a pretty open person, even in “real� life, however my blog is definitely my little space to just let it all out. With that being said, my in-laws and husband don’t read my blog; if they did, it just wouldn’t allow me the freedom to be as uncensored as I am. I like to think my posts are laced with sarcasm and irony in such a way that folks who came across them and actually “got� them, wouldn’t be offended. That is everyone but my in-laws. *insert nervous chuckle* For the most part, as was particularly obvious in my recent post about kid leashes, the people that read me regularly get me and know where I’m coming from. That is very satisfying.

Mommybloggers: Why do you blog and how has your blog evolved since you first started it?

Kristen: I started blogging back in November 2005 when a dear friend of mine and fellow military spouse shared her blog [imwithsocrates.blogs.com] with me. She encouraged me to start one and since my days mostly consisted of figuring out ways to get my daughter to sleep in a flat, horizontal position that didn’t involve me holding her, I figured it might challenge my rapidly atrophying brain.

Also, I was always pretty honest about mothering (sometimes even with they didn’t ask…I’m always great fun at a baby shower…) – like how I would sing “Why did I do this to myself??� to the tune of Twinkle twinkle while rocking my daughter to sleep at 3am, or how I passed a blood clot the size of my boob after birthing my daughter and thought it was part of the placenta. Mainly it was the crap no one ever tells you about and moms never really talk about. I distinctly remember pacing the halls of my house thinking “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done… why didn’t I know this?� Anyway, I decided that maybe I could tell the dirty secrets of motherhood that no one else was talking about and help out another mom like me.

And most importantly, I needed to do something with my time. I was teaching one class at the local university I resigned from after having my child and I had absolutely no hobbies – nothing that I could call my own. I was getting pissed every time my husband wanted to go out with work friends, or play golf and basically, I was totally enmeshed with my daughter and needed a shot of something (legal, of course).

Being a New Jersey transplant living in Mississippi, I felt (and still feel) entirely out of place. Coupled with having NO friends here in town (the sans-kids folks never ask you out once you’ve had a kid and the moms with kids that I know are more the scrapbooking, sober-bunko crowd), I needed some like-minded folks with whom to share my stories – and really, someone to tell me that I wasn’t crazy.

Originally, I debated about making my blog public. And then I realized that comments are blog crack and I liked getting feedback and connecting with people. When I go back and read my early posts, they seem somewhat forced – like I was writing a college essay on “breastfeeding.� Also, I used to post about 12 times a day and while I do have a lot of material, I try to spread things out a little better. Better blog strategery…

I feel that just in the last few months I’ve really found my own writing style and my “way� of telling a story. It helps that I read a TON of blogs and learn from some really great writers out there. But overall, I feel as though what you get on my blog is ME.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about being a total, overeducated misfit in a podunk town. Share some about some of the run-ins with freaks and hicks. I know there must be a lot of material there!

Kristen: Well, there was always the popping butts story I wrote about where the mom of a tiny preemie 9-month was talking to the other "gals" during our mommy-baby class about how her daughter started spitting food out and she just picked her up and POPPED her on the butt. Yeah. Nice one. And these were edumacated ladies themselves.

Mommybloggers: Have you had any bad experiences with blogging?

I’ll let you know after this interview is over. (heh). Actually, not yet *knocking on wood.* Blogging has been really good to me. It’s given me a new outlook on life, opened up new opportunities that I never thought were possible, and it’s made me comfortable with myself. Even my non-blogging friends notice a difference in me.

Mommybloggers: Let's talk about the controversy you unleashed about children with leashes. Did the backlash bother you or did you see the humor in the fact that so many people did not get your sense of humor and that you were writing tongue in cheek?

Kristen: At first, I was really surprised that people had a problem with the post. And honestly, it was only a few people that did - most of the readers that visit me regularly stated their opinions in a tactful manner. I was called judgmental and an "anti-tree hugger" but I wasn't offended. I mean, I am like a twice removed tree hugger cousin. How can I hate on my own relative?

Nobody got personal and for the most part, I found people were defending themselves to the commenters and NOT my piece.

My friend and I had a good laugh about it - and that's why I decided to write the rebuttal. Mainly, I couldn't believe that only a handful of people got the irony in the whole situation.

Mommybloggers: What has been the most rewarding part of blogging for you?

Kristen: I love the connections I’ve made with other like-minded moms. I finally feel that I am part of a community – and even though I can’t go visit them on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis in person, I can pop over for a cyber visit, share my successes and failures, and know that they support me in my work as a mother. I think a community of mothers is a strong force – not only for the individuals who are a part of it – but in terms of social change and making a better world for our kids. Oh damn. And the attention. I freaking LOVE the attention. *smiles*

Mommybloggers: You told a deliciously wicked tale about a chance encounter with him that caused speculation that it was actually a true-life encounter. Were you surprised that so many people believed you?

Kristen: Totally. I have never considered myself remotely close to a good fiction writer, and ironically, the story that got posted was one where I chose to do a meme interwoven in the text. At the time, I thought it was brilliant, however, I think maybe three people commented. Doesn’t that always happen? Anyway, a few of my blog pals even thought I was for real. I was/am truly flattered.

However, two fans over at the site totally busted me. Apparently, PD is not so into the infidelity thing. Too bad. We would have had a great time.

Mommybloggers: If it came down to it, we just want you to know that at least one of us would take you on if we had to fight over Patrick Dempsey. Do you think you could win?

Kristen: I’m a very tall, half-asian with a lot of pent-up sexual tension. Need I say more?

Mommybloggers: Jenn thinks she can totally take you when it comes to Dr. McDreamy. We're just saying. She won't give up without a fight. Any thoughts on that?

Kristen: Considering she does have to put up... er... I mean raise three and I'm only dealing with one under 2, I imagine she could put up a good fight, however, I just got two full nights of sleep so she may have a bit of a tough time.

Mommybloggers: In your former life you were a published textbook author, musician, college professor and designer shoe glutton. Now you find yourself in the new position as military wife and stay-at-home-parent. Which job is harder?

Kristen: Dealing with college students can be a huge ass pain, particularly music students as you read in my post, but motherhood is by far the hardest thing I have ever done (and the scary thing is that I’m not even at the 2 year mark; I am fully aware it gets a lot harder). The instant I had her (or perhaps it started during…), I had a new found appreciation for all mothers in the world.

Mommybloggers: What has been your biggest surprise as a mom who blogs?

Kristen: I’m surprised at how many moms feel the same way I do. I had always thought I was the only one who called up their sans-kids friends and whispered “Don’t ever do this if you like sleep, freedom, and a worry-free existence.� Turns out, it’s pretty common.

Mommybloggers: Now, it is standard for us to ask this question, so we are asking. Although reading your blog and your eloquent posts on the topic, we realize you consider yourself a mamablogger, but for our readers here, tell us, what do you think of the phrase "mommyblogger"?

Kristen: Being a mommyblogger of sorts has afforded me amazing opportunities, so I can’t knock it. Plus, it has a really nice ring to it and lots of double consonants. How can you not like it?

Mommybloggers: Can we just take a moment to praise your blog Cool Mom Picks? LOVE IT! It is funny and informative. Can you tell us how that came about?

Kristen: I’m so glad you love it. That makes me happier than you know. I got the idea after noticing how many moms out there made really cool stuff that no one knew about. I honestly had never even SEEN a shopping blog. I just wanted to find cool stuff, write funny and witty reviews about them, and perhaps help moms get the word out.

I asked a few of my blogging pals (Rebecca, Izzy, and Nancy) if they would be interested in writing and then went from there. One of the writers (The amazingly fabulous Mom-101 [mom-101.blogspot.com] aka Liz) offered to partner up with me, and we’ve been working hard at the site ever since.

The site was originally called Cool Mom Shit. It just sounded fun and um, cool. However, after realizing that we had found a niche and the blog was really taking off, we decided to change the name to something that people would want to say out loud without feeling weird. Personally, I love saying the word SHIT, but it doesn’t go over so well with the PR folks.

We currently review products, services, and charities particularly those created/owned/directed by women/moms. I like to think that people like the items as much as the funny write-ups. You can’t beat Jesus Jogger booties on Easter. Plus, our items are fairly reasonable and down-to-earth. You’ll find books, music, baby announcements, clothes, etc. Like we say in on our site, no $17,000 Victorian Baby Doll Houses here…

We’ll be doing an official “grand opening� of sorts during the first week of May with lots of fun giveaways. Plus, we’re releasing the first issue of our free monthly newsletter in which we’ll be offering our favorite picks of the month and featuring a short article on a special mom-trepreneur.

Mommybloggers: What is your favorite part of running that blog?

Kristen: I love getting emails back from people we’ve picked. They’re generous, kind, and very thankful. It’s a good feeling. Plus, it’s fun to work with Liz. She’s amazing – writer, mom, person. She challenges me to write better and really gets me to step out of my box. And, let’s face it. I live in Mississippi. While I used to be reasonably cool, I’m pretty far removed from what’s hot and hip. So, it’s a great combination. She’s a sassy New Yorker who knows what’s in and out, and I’m the Deep South military mom (of sorts) who has an eye for all things practical.

I will say that I’ve probably spent more money in the past few months than I have for 2005 on fun cool stuff. We truly love all the stuff we put on our site and I find myself going “I’ve got to get one of those� all the time.

You work with some other amazing women on Cool Mom Picks and it is obvious that you give both blogs your all as well as other writings you do online. Have you found more hours in the day that we should know about? Where else do you write online?

I just let my daughter watch tv all day. Ha. Honestly, I write my posts during nap time and at night. I’m a perfect example of what being cooped up with a baby for about 18 months with very limited human contact can do. While it might drive some women to insanity, I just got a lot of blog fodder. Plus, I live in Mississippi (did I mention that yet? *laughs*). It’s amazing how much material I get from that.

I have a feeling that I’m on the verge of wearing out my proverbial blog welcome, but I have a column called Misplaced Mommy over at mamazine.com and I’m also a dot-mom.

I have an essay coming out in the new issue of The Whole Mom, as well as my birth story in Fertile Ground Zine. I have to say it's been great writing something other than research articles and textbooks. I love being able to share a part of myself - particularly since in my previous writing experiences, I had to work very hard at keeping myself out of it. I think it was good for my confidence - mainly because if I got a research article rejected, I didn't take it personally. Rejections of my current writing are a bit tougher since I put so much of myself into them. However, I know it's part of the biz. You'd think motherhood would prepare you for tough stuff like that, but I think with all the hormones, it makes it worse.

Mommybloggers: Okay, because we are nosy, tell us a secret that no one else knows. Honest, we won't tell anyone. (We will publish it, though.)

Kristen: I’m a new clubmom blogger. There. You broke it first.

Mommybloggers: COOL! Our first scoop! Thanks! ANd of course, congratulations!

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related phrase?

I like “I’m going to clean, cook, and take the daughter out for awhile so you can have some peace and quiet.�

2. What is your least favorite parent related phrase?

I’ve banned “your large stomach rolls� from ever being said in my house.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Um, sadly, we don’t have any yet. Considering I said “son of a bitch� the other day and heard my daughter go “bitch bitch,� I’m thinking we need to think of some quick. I’m open to suggestions.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

I usually head to the computer room. But, I think my daughter has the nose of a bloodhound since even when my husband is home, she finds her way back to me. I never get much time alone in the house unless I have a babysitter. I figure I’ll be waiting up for her late at night soon enough, so I should enjoy the time that she wants to be with me.

Oh who the hell am I kidding? I would (and do) pay money for time alone.

I recently took my first trip away from my child since I have had her and I read 2 FULL BOOKS while I was gone. I haven't read that much in 3 years... It's amazing what a little alone time can help you accomplish.

However, she would not speak to me over the phone and I'm currently feeding her handfuls of candy to get back into her graces. And doing the four piles of laundry my husband had kindly created for me.

But it was totally worth it. And I would do it again next week.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

See above.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features all of our featured Mommybloggers.

“Today we’re allowing these fine women moderate a discussion between Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields. Let the games begin.�

We have had a great time interviewing Kristen. Be sure to come back tomorrow when we have an essay she wrote especially for Mommybloggers. In the mean time, be sure to visit her personal website Motherhood Uncensored and the fun Cool Mom Picks!

Posted by Jenn Satterwhite at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Asha, The mommybloggers are so pleased to have a chance to feature you. Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us.

One word comes to mind after having searched out your work. Busy. You seem to be very busy. And also very accomplished. To name a few of your credentials: You have published several books including, FrontPage 2003 for Dummies, Do It Yourself Web Publishing with Word, ABC’s of Pagemill 2, and Dummies 101: FrontPage 98. You’ve contributed to several print and online publications: Hip Mama (A personal favorite), Organic Family Magazine, Literary Mama, Mothers Movement Online, Mamazine and Imperfect Parent. You blog at Ashaland and Urban Mamas. The icing on the cake is the blog you created and edit: Parent Hacks. To quote my late grandmother, Eegads! Where do you find the time?

Asha: Where, indeed! First of all, my tech books were published before my kids were born (my son is 6 ½ and my daughter is almost 3). The only tech writing I’ve done post-kid has been to revise FrontPage for Dummies every couple of years. I didn’t start writing about motherhood in earnest until my son was in preschool. Before that I jotted down the odd essay or journal entry when I could find the time and brainpower (both were in short supply during the early years).

Now, I write in the evenings, on weekends while my husband hangs out with the kids and I’m off-duty at the café (free wifi!), or when the kids are visiting their grandparents. Blogging is ideal because it’s one of the few types of writing that lends itself to 3-15 minute chunks of time. My computer’s in the kitchen, so if I’m lucky I can dash out a few posts while dinner’s cooking, or first thing in the morning.

Mommybloggers: Asha, we want to learn a little more about you. Where did you grow up? What kind of a kid were you?

Asha:I grew up in the suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area. I was an innocent, happy kid – uncomplicated childhood, friends in the neighborhood, school down the street. I graduated high school in 1986 and went to college at UC Berkeley. The transition was tough – moving from a bland, conservative suburb into the intense, urban, intellectual environment at Cal forced me to develop a strong sense of myself, fast. Hard to believe I’d only moved 30 minutes away from my hometown.

Once I hit my stride at Berkeley, I loved it there. The stimulation, the conversations, the food! I majored in sociology, which appealed to my analytical nature. In part, my readings about social theory influenced my tendency to think about motherhood from an individual and a social perspective.

Mommybloggers: How long have you been writing? Where did this all start?

Asha:I’ve been writing since I was little. I was always scribbling little butterfly-embellished books of poetry and stories for my parents. My first published piece appeared in Children’s Digest in the late 70s: a poem called “The Night Before Hanukkah.�

Mommybloggers: You have written several technical guidebooks. Have you always had a talent for the technical? How did you break into the how-to for Dummies market?

Asha:Talent for the technical…hmmm. Funny you should ask about that! I have no formal technical background -- I’ve just been using computers long enough to feel comfortable with them.

My tech writing career was a happy accident. My husband introduced me to the Web before most people knew about it; Mosaic (the first graphical Web browser) had just been released, and Yahoo! was a page of simple text links. We learned HTML and decided to start a Web design business. I use the term “Web design� very loosely; few companies even knew what Web sites were, and those who did had no idea what one should look like. We figured we’d do ok as the only other “Web designer� listed at Yahoo! charged $5 per hyperlink, and we included hyperlinks for free!

We designed a couple of Web sites, and my husband, who knew I loved to write, suggested I contact some tech publishers and propose an HTML how-to book. In a stunning display of shortsightedness, I replied, “Honey, who besides your geeky friends would ever want to learn HTML?�

Fortunately I put together a book proposal anyway, which I sent out to five publishers. Two responded, and one eventually signed me to write a book. The result was Do It Yourself Web Publishing with Word, which sold almost nothing but established me as a writer. More importantly, my editor and I developed a great friendship, and we went on to work on other projects together. She later took a job with the publisher of the For Dummies series, and gave me the heads-up that they needed an author for FrontPage For Dummies. I jumped into the running for that title, and got it. It’s now in its fifth edition.

Mommybloggers: Can we expect to see more technical writing from you?

Asha:Not much. I’d like to concentrate on writing about parenting and domestic life.

Mommybloggers: You describe how your transformation to motherhood also transformed the way you write in your essay published in your essay “Exposure�. Tell us a little more about how becoming a mother changed the way you write?

Asha:My tales of motherhood are the first public bits of personal writing I’ve done. I’ve tried to be as honest as I can about my tumultuous journey into parenthood, while respecting my family’s privacy.

Also, writing – especially blogging – about motherhood has turned what was a solitary activity into a conversation. This, more than anything else, inspires me to keep it up. I have been overwhelmed by the compassion, intelligence and bravery of other mothers who are willing to speak up.

Mommybloggers:How do you balance your desire to write honestly with your desire to protect the privacy of your family? Does it get any easier with time and experience?

Asha:I try to keep the spotlight trained on myself. I also use pseudonyms for my kids, both in print and online.

I imagine the issue of privacy will only get more complicated as my kids get older, learn to read, and eventually go online. I’ll share my essays with them, and run future material by them to be sure they’re comfortable with it. It’s a tricky line to negotiate -- I don’t want my family to have veto power over my writing -- but I also think it’s only fair to get everyone’s side of the story.

Mommybloggers: Your essay "the Blogging Mom Clique received a lot of attention. What prompted you to write that?

Asha:The essay started as a post I wrote up for fun one night. I thought it would be fun to play around with the image of a clique as most women have dealt with cliques at one time or another. My post wasn’t a commentary on how a few people get most of the traffic (which is what many people are talking about when they refer to “blogging cliques�), but about how many of the new mom blogs I came across seemed slanted toward the “rougher� persona of some of the popular blogs. That persona didn’t fit me, so I wrote about what that felt like.

I ended up expanding on the post in an essay for Mothers Movement Online. I wanted to show that there really is no such thing as a blogging mom clique. Without a publishing establishment making market-driven decisions about what constitutes “good� or “successful� writing, blogging has created some of the most democratic writing there is.

Mommybloggers: Do you think the climate for mommybloggers has become any more diverse or welcoming since that essay was published?

Asha:It’s always been welcoming. Who’s keeping anyone from starting a blog? As long as you ignore the traffic numbers, and say what you want to say how you want to say it, there’s nothing to stop you.

Mommybloggers: By the way, the mommybloggers have a plan to transform you into a hard-drinking cussing mommyblogger at the BlogHer Conference. But don’t worry. You will be fully rehabilitated before returning home to your family. In all seriousness, though, of the three editors at mommybloggers only one of us (yours truly) swears with any regularity on her personal blog. We like to think that there will always be an audience for great writing, with or without cursing.

Asha:I’m partial to mojitos, margaritas and other fruity girl drinks, in case you’re buying, God damnit. See? I’m getting there, but any assistance you may be able to provide would be greatly appreciated.

Of course, I agree with you about the ever-present audience for great writing. There are so many strong voices out there. I’ve become such a blogging evangelist – I’m sure my friends are sick of hearing about it already.

Mommybloggers: You seem to have found a great medium in blogging with your personal site Ashaland, and your collaborative idea and advice website Parent Hacks. Tell us about the different approaches you take with your respective sites.

Asha:Ashaland is my own little queen-dom, where I stash away shiny bits of information I collect and want to keep or talk about. No big plan – Ashaland is like a shoebox into which I throw things I want to mull over or share.

Parent Hacks, on the other hand, was always intended to be a resource for people and a place to share experiences and generate conversation. It’s not about me so much as it’s about the common ground we all share as parents muddling our way through.

Mommybloggers: You seem to have found a niche with Parent Hacks. How did you come up with the concept? What has surprised you the most about that venture?

Asha:The “hacks� concept was inspired by the Hacks series of books by O’Reilly (http://hacks.oreilly.com), of which my husband, Rael, was the series editor. As such, we’d been talking about “hacks� in the tech sense for quite a while. The idea for Parent Hacks was born in a little café in Amsterdam last September. Thanks to frequent flyer miles, grandparents, and an alignment of the planets, I was able to tag along with Rael on a business trip there. As often happens when I have a day to myself and time to wander the streets, my mind starts racing. Rael and I were eating lunch and tossing around all sorts of random ideas, and I said: “You know, O’Reilly should publish a book of parenting hacks!� From there, it was but a short hop to imagine such a project as a blog, where people could comment on posts and suggest their own hacks.

Two things have surprised me about Parent Hacks:

First, I’m amazed by the response. People are so excited about the site and have jumped right in commenting and sharing ideas. I feel like I’ve stumbled onto this amazing group of thoughtful, smart, generous parents – people I respect and enjoy hanging out with.

Second, I’m surprised that my readers (from what I can tell) are pretty evenly split between moms and dads. Fathers want to talk about parenting, and something about the gender-neutral vibe at Parent Hacks makes both moms and dads feel comfortable speaking up.

Mommybloggers: Asha, what direction do you envision your writing taking in the next few years?

Asha:I have lots of ideas for expanding and deepening Parent Hacks. My daughter’s heading off to preschool this Fall, so I’m hoping the extra time will make that possible. I also want to continue writing longer essays and articles with an eye toward magazines and anthologies. Keep your fingers crossed!

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Tushie. I think this Yiddish term meaning “little butt� qualifies as a parent-related word. Only kids have tushies, right? “Mommy’s gonna wipe your poopy tushie now!� Doesn’t work so well with adults. “Ignore Len. He’s a pompous tushie,� or, “Honey! Get your tushie over here and close the refrigerator!� doesn’t carry the proper authority.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Can I choose a parenting-related phrase? That would have to be “Use your words.� I use this phrase myself because I haven’t come up with a better alternative, but I always feel like a doofus when I say it.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

I don’t have one. But something my mom used to say still makes me laugh: “Jiminy Christmas!�

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

My back yard.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

The bathroom (the classic unusable hiding place for a parent).

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

“And now, I’d like to welcome back to the show my friends Jenn, Meghan and Jenny, and their interns Gwyneth Paltrow and Gwen Stefani. Ladies and Gentlemen, give a big Oprah welcome to…the Mommybloggers!�

Posted by Meghan Townsend at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Well, hello there, lovely Elaine! Thanks for participating!

Elaine: Always a pleasure to blabber.

Mommybloggers: We adore your clear, detail-rich writing style. Have you always been a writer?

Elaine:My mom is an amazing writer who always encouraged an imaginative life, supplying us with paints and pallets and clay and anything else we could afford to get our hands on. In high school, I started writing for the school newspaper and quickly made my way to editor-in-chief, enjoying the concise descriptive world five column inches allowed. I have a BA in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing (and a minor in Women's Studies) but college kinda sucked the creative urges out of me for a long time. Seriously, I only read magazines and fluff novels for a couple of years out, I was so burned up by the intensity of that experience. Blogging is finally getting me back to writing.

Mommybloggers: How did you get into blogging? Is it a platform to share your thoughts with others, or a more personal exploration?

Elaine: When my first daughter was born a good friend came to stay with us for a month. She talked about finding the journal her mother kept during her first year of parenting and was so delighted to read about that transition into motherhood. Even when the pages held nothing more than, "You cried all day, you little shit" it made her laugh and feel so much closer to her mom. I wanted that for my kids. I actually started out writing every post directly to my daughter, but found that to be a bit limiting. I also use blogging as a way to process all the emotional crap involved in parenting. So many people seem to think that parenting should be one thing, when your personal experience can be so incredibly different. I end up writing a lot of sappy stuff, but when I'm lucky those girls of mine give me some brilliantly funny material! I guess I do this for my girls and for myself. It's allowed me to return to writing in a really supported way.

Mommybloggers: You chronicled the home birth of your second daughter on your blog, as well as many other family events, both joyous and heartbreaking. How has your family reacted to your blog?

Elaine: Anya's birth was so freaking liberating and fantastic, I kind of felt obligated to preach the brilliance of homebirthing. But then, I'm obnoxious that way and will openly talk about cloth diapers, cosleeping, vaccine choices, breastfeeding and the like. My family is aware of those views and is very supportive. Honestly though, my husband doesn't even read Wannabe Hippie. I think he feels that it's an outlet I need and doesn't want to get in the way. My mom does reads and that has caused a little tension over the years. Mostly though, it's allowed us to have really important conversations and to forgive each other a lot of crap from my less than stunning teen years when I was evil. She has never once asked me to stop writing and for the most part is very proud of what I write there.

Mommybloggers: Talk to us about the name: Wannabe Hippie conjures up different impressions for different people. What does it mean to you?

Elaine: I'm one of the fortunate few reared by half hippies. My mom was into very natural choices in parenting but didn't do any of the irresponsible stuff usually associated with hippies. I take a lot of my cues in parenting from her, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, questioning doctors, creative expression, etc. But I'm a total geek at heart, loving the way technology intertwines with our lives and a little too fond of my TV. I'd love to be someone who gives up her modern vices and lives off the land, but it's so not gonna happen.

Mommybloggers: Creativity and good humor seems to be a central fixture in your home. How do you honor your own creativity?

Elaine: I get really cranky if I don't have some sort of creative outlet. Writing really mellows me out, as does photography. I'm learning to knit and occasionally paint something random. I'm also starting to get into the whole cooking thing, you know, now that I have all these hungry people hanging around my house for which I am somehow responsible. I love creating stuff with my toddler, even if it's just a pile of broken chips she declares is a house she built.

Mommybloggers: You're a founding member of the wonderful group blog Mama Says Om. Tell us how it came about.

Elaine: Krystyn and I were blabbering on about some random thing on the phone one day when we started talking about the idea of a collaborative blog. There was another mama who had brought up the idea to Krystyn and so when I mentioned it, we decided to make it happen. That other mama didn't ultimately chose to be part of Mama Says Om but we pulled in two amazing artists, Christina of My Topography and Kelly of Glimpse from a Bubble . We have a blast together and love looking at the different explorations of a common theme each week. Our contributors are so creative and expressive and share such beautiful and funny moments from their lives; I love going there every day to click through.

Mommybloggers: Your weekly explorations of themes are so inspirational for your readers…what's next for Mama Says Om?

Elaine: The site just went through a major overhaul courtesy of our very own web vixen, Krystyn. She's a stunning web artist and every time she messes with the site, does something that makes all of us go, "ooohhhh! Ahhhhh!" Seriously, she kicks ass. As far as content goes, we're loving the weekly themes and enjoy working on these assignments together. Every time we sit down (virtually) to come up with the next series of ideas, we really have a blast laying in the themes we're excited about and sometimes linking them up to the special events in our own lives. For instance, I'm looking forward to tackling "juicy" on my Anniversary! Overall, we're very much married to the concept of Mama Says Om as a collaborative site and will flow with whatever that means for it's future.

Mommybloggers: You ran an experimental theater group in Southern California before the girls were born. How has your experience with drama prepared you for motherhood? Any plans to return to the theater?

Elaine: I was the Managing Director for an established alternative theatre with a small budget and a huge reputation. When I came on board the Artistic Director had been running the whole show on her own for a while and was just so thankful to have anyone in the office with her! I learned so much from her and from the two years I spent there, I feel really lucky to have had the opportunity. Multitasking, creative money management, artistic exploration, the care and handling of very odd creatures, manipulating politicians… you name it, I learned how to do it. Now that I'm a mom, that think-on-your-feet, improvise-and-adapt mentality has saved my ass on more than one occasion. I'll always be involved in theatre on one level or another, but for now I'm loving the SAHM gig.

Mommybloggers: Your family is very active, and you enjoy traveling with your kids. Balancing the needs of toddlers, babies, dogs and parents is a challenge under the best of circumstances. What's your secret?

Elaine: I'm a Virgo, so I'm a planner. I arm myself with maps, distractions for the kids, lots of plastic bags, over pack a bit and then hope to hell the whole world can keep it together. We also only travel to places we know will be accepting and supportive of who we drag along. We have a book for traveling with your dog that details every hotel, park and restaurant in California known for their dog friendly ways. We stop a lot, plan driving around naps and just hope for the best. Despite the fact that I plan things out, we do like to build in wiggle room so we can let the conditions dictate our path. Seriously, it's an exercise in letting go!

Mommybloggers: We read that you are encouraging your playgroup to join you on family hikes. We love it! Have you got any words of wisdom for moms who are hesitant to take the kids on a trail?

Elaine: The trails we pick are pretty easy going. I usually strap the baby to me in a sling and then let my toddler pick the path. We think of hiking as an opportunity to learn and will stop and watch a caterpillar cross the road for ten minutes or see how rocks, when thrown in a stream, will create ripples. Always bring a snack for the end of the hike. Always.

Mommybloggers: We hope you'll give us a call when you're ready to launch the commune. We'll bring finger-foods and dip!

Elaine: Thanks for having me!

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? HEY!

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Poop

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Crap… although it's starting to catch on, so I'm going to have to loose it.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? The shower.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? Oh god, you mean that can happen? I'm locking the door to the bathroom from now on.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? Don't worry honey, you didn't screw those kids up too badly.

Come visit us tomorrow as we feature a wonderful essay from Elaine of Wannabe Hippie.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 1:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to chat with us! Your blog is called "Mom to the Screaming Masses" - for the benefit of our readers, exactly how many kids are we talking about here? Is it really the "masses" doing the screaming?

Carmen: HA! It depends on the time of day and how much sleep I've had. Mostly, I named the blog for my kids - 6 kids who canNOT ever seem to be quiet. I really don't notice it much, but lots of people tell me that my house is pretty loud. It's the music of our lives, as my oldest says. Now, I just notice when it's quiet. Too much quiet is a very, very bad thing.

I've got six kids of my very own (ages 13.5, 11, 8.5,6,3.5 and 2) and I also have three step kids. I do afternoon day care for two other kids as well, so they've been mentioned a time or two lately.

Mommybloggers: You've been blogging for several years now. How did you get started? Have you always been a writer?

Carmen: I was an active member on an attachment parenting website, and one of the other women started a blog. I read hers for a week or two, all the while thinking "I can do THAT!". I went to the Blogger website, read the fine print, and boom! I was up and typing. I haven't always been a writer - the vast majority of the writing that I had done before my blog was complaint letters. I can write an EFFECTIVE complaint letter. I've been really amazed, though, by how much I've come to love writing. It's become a big part of who I am and how I want to progress in my life.

Mommybloggers: How has blogging changed your social life?

Carmen: Social life?? I'm supposed to have one of my own, and not just live through my kids? Well, I haven't met many bloggers in real life - at least not those who I knew after I started my blog, those who read me or whose work I read. (I have met a few, though, and those people are still talking to me, so I must have not looked too weird.) I hope to change that this summer when I attend BlogHer - I think I'd wet my pants if someone looked at my name tag and could say with a straight face, "Hey, I've read your stuff!" and they weren't someone that I owed money to.

Mommybloggers: We've been enjoying your joint project with Chris of The Big Yellow House - tell us about what you are doing, and why:

Carmen: Both being mothers of a larger than typical size family, we hear the comments over and over and over. The most common question we are asked, though, is "HOW on earth do you do it?" We decided that it would be fun, not to mention give us each something to write about, if we picked a topic each week and explored it. That way, readers could hear two different spins on the same subject - my boring one, and Chris' incredibly gifted version. So far, we've done organization - in which it was determined that my upcoming tattoo should be the word "rubbermaid", sleep, chores, morning schedules, and a pictoral view of big family stuff. Other bloggers have joined us on those days, with those topics. It's really been a fun thing to do, and I hope it's been interesting for others as well.

Mommybloggers: As the mother of a large family, what are you sick to death of explaining to people with smaller families?

Carmen: How my family is no different from theirs, how I DON'T always have it together, and I don't have any more patience with my kids than they do. I'm not a saint, and by the same token my kids shouldn't be referred to as "those poor kids, with so many siblings". Oh, and the fact that, yes, we do know how all those kids got here.

Whew. Maybe I've got a chip on my shoulder, eh?

Mommybloggers: Dealing with preteens is a tough subject. You seem to balance the demands of parenting so well! Do your older children read your blog? What do they think about your writing? Have they ever forbidden you from writing about a subject?

Carmen: Yeah, my oldest reads my blog almost daily. It annoys the snot out of me, but I can't seem to get him to stop. My kids all know that I blog, but they seem to be pretty cool with it. I don't think they've ever told me not to blog something, but there are, of course, some things that I just don't discuss.

Mommybloggers: Do you consider yourself to be a Mommyblogger? Where do you think this whole Mommyblogging phenomenon is going?

Carmen: Well, I'm a mommy, and I blog. You know, the whole MommyBlogger phenomenon really cracks me up. Women have power, women are a strong presence in so many ways. All of a sudden, we are using our blogs to shape the way things are happening, and it's waking the world up. Scaring some people, too. I don't think Mommyblogging is going to go away - in fact, I think it will really take off in the next few years.

Mommybloggers: You've taken on insurance companies, the nuns at your children's school, and taken over the soccer team. What's next?

Carmen: I'd LOVE to just have some time off, and not have to worry about any troubles right now. I think that's wishful thinking, though! Seriously? I'd love to lose 20 more pounds - I'm really working hard on that right now and have ten gone. I'm up to walking about 3 miles a day, 5 days a week. And hating every minute of it.

Mommybloggers: Let's talk about books - we know you are a voracious reader. What are you reading now? We also hear you have a novel in the works - wanna tell us about it?

Carmen: I just finished the Agnes Browne trilogy, sent to me by the bestest friend evah. I think it's about time for an Outlander re-read, and I've usually got a few other books going on at once. You know, one for the van, one for the bedroom, one for the kitchen - and then of course, there are the magazines..... I love to read. I could cheerfully do it all day long. To the detriment of my house, my kids, and my laundry.

Mommybloggers:We also hear you have a novel in the works - wanna tell us about it?

Carmen: I'm about 25,000 words into my book, and I've hit a bit of a stumbling block. I love what I've done though, and will NOT give it up. I can't wait to see where it goes, and then the pressure will be ON to try to do something with it.

Mommybloggers: Tell us something that most people would be surprised to learn about you.

Carmen: Hmm, the revelation that I want to get a tattoo took a TON of people by storm. I was really shocked by that! Maybe the fact that I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up?

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? School

2. What is your least favorite parent related word? Tummyache - it can mean so many things. All of which are yucky things and keep people home from school. Hmmm, maybe I should change it to STREP though - we've had it FOUR times here since November.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children? Um, I have a potty mouth. When my oldest was my only, I was very creative and used words like "sugar" and "fudge", as well as the eternally popular "fiddlesticks". But, um, I have long since lost my creativity and just let it fly. It's a bad, bad habit I have, and one that I can't seem to stop.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all? I don't have a hiding place - they follow me everywhere. I can't go to the bathroom without little fingers under the door, a few sets of eyes watching me from the tub, and bloodcurdling screams leaking through the walls. I have been known, though, to go sit in my van to make a c
all on my cell phone, just so I can hear.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use? The laundry room. Of course, I'm always there, so maybe it's not such a good place to hide.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? And, here is the author of the newest New York Times Bestseller, the book that's spent a record breaking length of time in the number one spot...........

Be sure to check back tomorrow to see what Carmen has to share in her guest essay! We know you'll love it!

Posted by mommybloggers at 1:55 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Amy, The mommybloggers love reading your blog. Your writing is so honest, direct, and entertaining. We love your sense of humor, and your personality really comes through in your blog. What led you to create your Blog Amalah.com? How did it all begin?

Amy: Absolute boredom, really. I hadn't done any original creative writing in years, and everytime I started something I abandoned it around, oh, page five because I'm ridiculously critical of myself. I read a few blogs and journals and thought that hey! If I have a blog, I can write something, hit the "publish" button and be done with it! I can't change my mind five minutes later when I decide that whatever I wrote actually sucked!

(Obviously, I did not realize that blogs also came with a "delete post" button.)

One of my coworkers gave me the nickname Amalah, and in the absence of any other creative website title, I registered the domain and started a little Typepad blog. And I never, ever expected anyone to actually read it.

Mommybloggers:Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where did you grow up? What is your family like (aside from not being like the Brady bunch)

Amy:I grew up in Levittown, Pennsylvania, in one of those creepy suburban subdivisions where every house looks ex. act. ly. the same. There was a mall and a movie theater and about 35 used car dealerships. We were 30 minutes from Philadelphia, but only seemed to take advantage of the city on school field trips. Although my friends and I used to drive 30 minutes to the Applebee's, until a TGIFridays moved in by the mall. It was...really kind of depressing and probably why I now live in Washington, DC, and get twitchy out in the 'burbs.

My family was a big, messy blended family -- my parents each have three children from previous marriages. Everybody hated everybody else, but I was the baby and mostly neutral territory. I'm a LOT younger than my siblings so we were never particularly close, but now that most of us are married with children, it's kind of amazing how we all get along and depend on each other. My older sister is having a baby boy next month, and even though she's 18 years older than me and I'm actually closer in age to her first child, we've really bonded and I'm so glad Noah will have a cousin to grow up with. I'm sending her baby clothes and we're renting a house by the seashore together and oh my God, it's like having a real-live sibling.

Mommybloggers:You work in financial publishing. How did you end up there?

Amy:Well, if you work in publishing in the DC area, it's either going to be related to politics, healthcare or finance. I can't stand politics and the healthcare publishers never called me in for a second interview.

I actually started at my company as a lowly editorial assistant, and other than a brief and disastrous stint in the world of technical writing, I've stayed put and worked my way up to managing editor. (And hopefully senior managing editor after my yearly review this week. Hello job! Please promote me! I promise that I don't use the Internet for non-work-related purposes EVER.)

Mommybloggers:In your blog Amalah.com , you chronicle some of your fertility challenges. Can you offer any words of wisdom to women trying to conceive?

Amy:No. I wish I did, but I have no wisdom or insight about infertility, except that it sucks and is incredibly, unbelievably and soul-suckingly painful. The desire for a baby went so far beyond any desire I'd previously experienced, and every month when I failed to conceive was like getting hit by a car.

We tried for about two and a half years, on and off, and we planned to start treatment at a clinic in February of 2005. I found out I was pregnant at the end of January.

So if I was a different person, I might say something trite about how miracles do happen and to never give up, but I am not that person. My ovaries fucking OWED me, and remain on my shit list to this day.

Instead, I encourage everyone struggling with infertility to check out Julie's Big List of Everyone Going Through the Same Damn Thing, because those women are amazing and saved my sanity on multiple occasions. ( http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/blogs.html)

Mommybloggers:Like many writers, you have battled depression and anxiety. How has writing played a part in maintaining your mental health?

Amy:It's been a double-edged sword, actually. When I first wrote about "It" on my website, the response was amazing. I felt very free and relieved to finally stop hiding my problems, and the emails and comments from readers were fantastic. So many people shared my struggles and thanked me for being open and offered their own stories as inspiration.

But the more I wrote about depression, the more I obsessed about it. I let it define me. I became too introspective and started overanalyzing my mental state all the time. Of course, it didn't help that I had a doctor who was over-medicating me to ridiculous levels and who actually made me sicker. Once I finally stopped seeing her and got myself off the drugs and into therapy, I turned a corner and decided to keep my recovery private, which is why my website archives lack any real "closure" entry to the whole thing.

I've got a lot of plot holes like that, I think

Mommybloggers:How has your writing changed since you had Noah?

Amy:I'm more honest, I think. "Amalah" has always been a bit of persona and not a really accurate picture of who I really am, but now I write from a much more vulnerable place and am incapable of bullshitting my audience. I'm probably too tired to bullshit anyone, and can no longer pretend that my life is all nightlife and designer handbags when it's obviously all pediatricians and burp cloths.

I also ask the Internet for advice, which I never used to do and really do not recommend. I am probably going to get emails recommending diaper rash treatments until Noah enters college.

Mommybloggers:Amy, you work full-time outside the home. You wrote humorously and poignantly about your the trepidation you experienced while seeking out good childcare. Can you offer any advice to mothers currently in the daycare search?

Amy:Pee on the stick and then get on the waiting lists. I waited until I was out of the first trimester and was apparently INSULTING these places with my presumption that they'd have a space for me when I needed one.

Also, don't go with a bunch of pre-formed ideas about what you want. Before I started visiting daycare centers, I assumed I wanted a private school where they taught the babies Latin or something. I thought KinderCare was the daycare equivalent to a Russian orphanage. I thought in-home centers were scary, unregulated places where parents overlooked code violations in exchange for cheaper tuition. Luckily, because of the waiting lists, I was forced to visit dozens of places, and I was wrong on every count. Noah is in a wonderful, safe center and is cared for by amazing women who love him and rejoice in his development like he was their own.

Of course, the place with the Latin classes never offered me a spot. They can go to hell.

Mommybloggers:On January 6th, 2006, you wrote a moving post about leaving your son in child-care for the first time. There are so many mothers (mommybloggers included) who work outside the home and rely on child-care. How is that transition going?

Amy:Oh, it's hard. It's so, so hard. I miss Noah so much and there are some mornings when I have to fight the urge to run back into his classroom, scoop him up and high-tail it to Canada where I'd still be on maternity leave.

But he's happy there and is totally thriving. I can't even list all the positives that have come out of daycare, for me AND Noah. I mean, he takes naps now! Naps! Two of them! How did they get him to do that?

Mommybloggers:What pearls of wisdom can you share with other working mothers of infants?

Amy:I'm glad I chose a daycare close to my office, as opposed to my home. The first few weeks I was able to visit him at lunchtime to nurse or just hold him for awhile. I eventually phased those visits out, but they really made the early days much easier. And I never have to worry about rushing after work and fighting traffic to make the pick-up deadline.

Those are really lame pearls. Now, if someone could tell me how to not be so ridiculously exhausted by Friday, like sobbing-at-my-desk-and-walking-into-walls exhausted, I would treat them to a shopping spree at Mikimoto.

Mommybloggers:What has surprised you the most about your experience as a mother working outside the home?

Amy:That I question my decision on an almost-daily basis. I always planned to go back to work, so I assumed I would just...go back to work. But not a day goes by without me wondering if I should look at our monthly budget just ONE MORE TIME, if moving to the suburbs really would be so terrible, or if I would change my mind and regret everything after a week of staying home with Noah.

Mommybloggers:Amy, you also write for Snarkywood. Tell us a little about how you became a part of that site.

Amy:Martha (therandommuse.com) asked Lauren ( newjanbrady.blogspot.com) and I to help her do a little spoof of those Fashion Police-type articles for her website. She compiled a bunch of hilariously bad celebrity photos and we all chimed in with our fake bitchy comments. It was a huge hit, so I think we did a couple of them, and then Martha had the idea to set up a separate blog and do occasional entries there. And thus Snarkywood was born.

A lot of people get upset with us because they think we're being mean, but the site is much more affectionate than people give us credit for. We really love celebrities and fashion and generally chose subjects that we have a nostalgic connection to (Whitney Houston, Madonna, Melissa Gilbert) or celebrities whose bad behavior just generally delights us (Britney, Paris, P-Diddy). We snark because we love, people!

Mommybloggers:We hear you are working on a book. How did that project come about?

Amy:HA!

A couple different literary agents found my website, read my archives and emailed me to ask if I'd ever considered writing a book. I immediately freaked out and offered up a bunch of my ideas and one agent and I really clicked and I started working on a novel, with the idea that once it was done or mostly done she'd help me pitch it to publishers.

And I wrote about 25 pages (a personal best!) before I decided I HATED IT, that it was the WORST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN, and basically became paralyzed with that good old self-doubt and criticism I mentioned way back at the beginning of this interview and I haven't looked at it in months.

One of these days, I keep saying. One of these days.

Mommybloggers:Do you have any suggestions for aspiring writers and bloggers?

Amy:Two things:

1) Don't start blogging because you want people to read your blog.

2) But don't start blogging if you don't want people to read your blog.

It takes a long time and a lot of work to build up an audience. Some people are fine with that, while others seem to expect Internet Rockstar Status after like, a month. These bloggers generally get discouraged and give up too early and/or send me hatemail because their blog was better than mine and I am hogging all the readers and am a stuck-up blog whore.

Yet on the flipside, I know people who have started blogs and written things that they specifically didn't want anyone else to read. Then they freak out over strange IP addresses and assume that because they're using a pseudonym that no real-life people will ever find them. These bloggers generally should consider buying a nice paper journal and a lockbox.

Sometimes I am a little horrified by how many people read my blog. Sometimes I think it was more fun when I was just trying to entertain myself and a couple of my friends.

But then I try to imagine fighting through all the stuff we've talked about in this interview without the amazing support I got from my friends inside the computing box and holy crap, I love the Internet and will never stop blogging until Noah's therapist orders me to stop.

Mommybloggers:And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Oh-my-God-your-baby-is-the-cutest-baby-I-have-ever-seen-in-my-entire-life-and-I-am-not-kidding.

(Hyphens equal one word! Am an editor! Do not question me!)

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Breastpump.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Fucke. (The E is silent.)

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

Bathtub + Lush Bath Bombs + Wine + Gossip Rag = A Very Pruny Amy

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

My child cannot walk! Or crawl! He cannot find me! He will never find me! I will build an impenetrable fort out of the sofa cushions!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?Amy, now that you've gotten over your crippling self doubt long enough to publish a damn book already, I would like to add it to my Book Club so it will sell a bazillion copies and make you millions of dollars. Also, here is a car!

Be sure to stop by Mommybloggers tomorrow to read Amy's guest post. We know we're looking forward to it, and if you aren't, well, you could be just plain wierd.

Posted by Meghan Townsend at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Hi, Y! We're so glad you were able to take a break from your recent Riverdancing craze to chat with us. You've had a blog since 2002...what was your inspiration to get started?
Y: To be perfectly honest, my inspiration was boredom and curiousity. One of the first blogs I found was Melly's. I couldn't believe what I was reading. This beautiful young woman, a new mother, writing about her life for all of The Internet to read. I fell in love with that girl and we ended up becoming the best of friends, but ha! I'm totally getting off of the subject like I ALWAYS do. Anyway, after reading her blog and several others, I thought "Man, that would be FUN!" And that is how my blog was born.

Mommybloggers:When you found out you were unexpectedly pregnant with Gabriella, your gorgeous baby girl, you initially had a hard time getting used to the idea of a third child. What prompted the change of your blog name to Joy Unexpected?

Y: Oh man, "a hard time" is putting it mildly. When I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly with my third child (THIRD!) I fell to the floor and cried hysterically. I called Tony at work and screamed "Oh my GOD, I'm pregnant, PREGNANT! AAH." I called my mom and cried "I'm pregnant, this isn't right, I'm crazy, crazy people can't have babies!"

You see, I had been going through a severe depression. One in which I would actually take scissors to my flesh and cut myself and in which I would rip the hair from my head because the pain inside was so ugly, I didn't know what to do with it. I was terrified of being pregnant in that condition. I was also terrified of "starting over." My boys were 10 and 6 and life was good.

It only took me a couple of days to get over the shock and fear and then, I fell completely and madly in love with the baby growing inside of me. (And I want it noted that I wrote that letter to my unborn child before Dooce had even given birth to her daughter, so, I WASN'T COPYING HER. Ha!)

However, changing the name of my blog had nothing to do with my daughter, and everything to do with my brother finding my blog. I FUH-REEEKED out when it was "brought to my attention" that he had found it. "Oh my God! I TALK ABOUT MY VAGINA! and I draw pictures of my BOOBS! And talk about Boinking!" And let me tell you, my biggest fear was that he'd tell my mom and dad. I do NOT want my mom and dad reading my blog. Which, I realize makes me "12", but, my dad is a pastor and I will ALWAYS fear my father. (Because him and Jesus are LIKE THIS.)

Anyway, I immediately shut down Aged and Confused and started thinking of a new URL. "Joy Unexpected" was the one I fell in love with, even though it was brought to my attention that it was "Cheesy". (And so the term "The Cheese" was born.) The funniest part is that my brother found the new blog a few months later, so I went through all of that trouble for nothing, but hey, change is good, right?

Mommybloggers: You grew up in a conservative, religious family - tell us about where you grew up. What kind of child were you?

Y: I think I was an outgoing, fun child who loved to be the center of attention. I loved to sing and play the guitar and had won several talent contests as a little girl. I also had a tendancy to be a bit of a "ham". I remember this one time, I tried out for the church play and my mom was one of the "judges". When we got home, she told me that I didn't get the part, but that my best friend, Joanne did. I threw the biggest tantrum in the history of tantrums and declared "I SING WAY BETTER THAN SHE EVER COULD!" Turns out, my mom was teasing me. I had gotten the part, but she wanted to see how I would react if I thought someone else got it. Ha. Not very well. So, um, I guess you could say I was a bit of a brat. My dad is a pastor, so, yes, I grew up in an extremely conservative, religious home. I won't get into the details, because, well, I could write a book, but let's just say that I wasn't allowed to do most things that "normal" children were allowed to do. Things like wear pants, wear makeup (Jezebel!) , participate in after school activities (because Ha! I didn't really want to play softball, I just wanted to "FOOL AROUND WITH THE BOYS!")

I spent most of my childhood in church. Every Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night and Friday night. You'd think I'd have a great deal of bible knowledge because of this, but, sadly, I spent most of each church service daydreaming about the boys I was in love with, sneaking out to the bathroom to fix my bangs and uh, trying to pass farts off on little girls.

Mommybloggers: You've gathered a great fan base over the last few years. Your knack for inviting readers into your world, and injecting humor into even the most intimate details of your life makes reading Joy Unexpected like a visit with a warm and funny friend. You are incredibly open and real. Is there anything you regret putting out there for people to read?

Y: Hmm. That's a very good question. There have been times I wish I hadn't been so brutally open about my depression. There are people who like to use that kind of stuff against you. That was in 2003 and at the time, I just wrote what I was going through because it was the only place I felt safe expressing what was really going on inside. I was shocked at the hundreds of emails I would get from people telling me they were going through the same things, but were too afraid to talk about it. It made me mad that there was such a stigma attached to mental illness and depression. So many women were suffering in silence because they were afraid of being judged or of how people would react if they knew. I remember getting comments like "how can you be depressed when you have two beautiful sons? And a good husband? You're selfish and need to realize how good you have it!" Apparently, married people and mothers are supposed to be immune from depression. I recently went back and read those "depression posts" and in a crying fit, deleted most of them. I regret doing that, but at the time, it felt like the right thing to do. The only time I regret ever having written about it so honestly is on the days I write about being sad and I get emails or comments telling me to "Just take a prozac already".

There are days I think I'm stupid for being so open with my Struggle with The Fat, because people can be so mean. But, the majority of the response I've recieved has been overwhelmingly supportive and kind. I will continue to keep writing about it and posting my progress photos, even if I get an occassional "Shut up, you fat pig".

Mommybloggers: What is your biggest positive about reading and writing online?

Y: That's easy. The people I've met. I have met some of the most amazing, beautiful, hilarious, incredible people through my blog and I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without them in it.

Mommybloggers: Let's talk about your photography for a minute: you're a talented photographer, and you share many photos of your beautiful family with your readers, including some saucy poses of your own fine self. Your weight-loss photo series has been inspirational for your readers, and you won our hearts forever with your 'flipping the bird' pose. Parents who blog are often criticized for putting too much personal information out there about your children - have you drawn any heat from readers when posting photos?

Y: First of all, THANK YOU. I love taking pictures of my children. I don't own a fancy camera, or have the best editing software, but but that doesn't stop me from trying to capture their emotions and the beauty of who they are at every chance I get. I've not drawn any heat from readers about posting my children's pictures. I have taken heat from my sister though. We won't get into that though because um, I think I'm talking too much and let's just get this over with already.

Mommybloggers: Tell us, what do you think of the term "mommybloggers?" Are you a mommyblogger?

Y: Ok. Here's where I am going to "get real."

I don't like the term "mommyblogger." In fact, I hate it a little. Because I don't consider myself a "mommyblogger." Or maybe it's that I don't like being put in a "category." I mean, I started blogging in 2002 and I was already a mommy. I would write about my kids, but I would also write about work and about people who were getting on my nerves or about how I was drunk and "Ha! Ha! wanna see my boobs?" The term mommyblogger didn't even exist then. I think the only reason people want to label me as a mommyblogger now is because I went and had another baby and DARED to write about how much I love her and her ability to "Fart on Command" and how much The Boys in this family adore her. I prefer the term "woman blogger who just so happened to have pushed THREE HUMAN BEINGS out of her vagina."

Do you regret interviewing me now? Wait. Don't answer that.

Mommybloggers: Nope, we still love you!

Mommybloggers: We've heard you mention that you have aspired to become a stand-up comic. We would pay good money to hear you mimic your fake-southern-drawling husband, riffing on your scary neighbors or to enjoy one of your 'most embarrassing' stories... any plans for an open-mike night in your future? How about a Best Of Y Telling It Like It Is CD?

Y: Well, I am obsessed with stand up comics. Jay Mohr was my favorite and one time? I went to his show and he fell in love with my boobs and we became friends, but, I only tell you that to brag. Anyway, there really is no future for me in comedy, because, seriously, I'd be all "fart this" and "my boobs this" and "So, I shouted 'get that Weapon of Mass Fertilization' AWAY FROM MY VAGINA" and uh, if we're being honest, I'd get booed off of the stage in less than 5 minutes. But man, that would be awesome.

Mommybloggers: We love your screamingly funny entries, but some of our favorites are when you 'bring the cheese.' You are truly creating a wonderful gift for them - a portrait of their mother as a real, funny, emotional, dedicated woman who loves them fiercely. Do you plan to share your writing with them as they get older?

Y: Yes, I do. I want them to understand how deeply I love them through the words I've written. I want them to know that I think of them always and that the little things they say and do are not forgotten, That they mean everything to me and that after they go to bed at night, I write how I feel about them so that I NEVER forget. I want them to understand how bittersweet it is for me to watch them grow. I just hope that they don't hate me for some of the things I've written about. (You know, things like skid marks and hairy balls!)

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Farted. As in "Farted, Gabby" because when I say that? My daughter grunts and usually succeeds at pushing out a fart. Farting On Command...I taught her that. And I am SO PROUD.

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Homework. I won't even GO there.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Mother Effer. Creative? Not really. Censored? Barely. But, hey, it's better than the "real thing". Kind of.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

No room to hide in this house, but if I need time alone, I pretend I have to take a dump and lock myself in the bathroom until they bang the door down.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

See #4

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I don't like Hoprah, but if I ever did agree to go on her show, I'd like to hear her say the following... "I'm sorry for making you feel like a worthless human being because you can't afford beautiful, matching towels and you use fake flowers to decorate."

We had a blast chatting wtih Y - be sure to come back tomorrow as we turn over Mommybloggers.com to Y for her guest entry!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (1)

Mommybloggers: Your first novel "Confessions of Super Mom" was published in 2005. Congratulations!

Melanie Lynne Hauser :Thanks so much!

Mommybloggers: Now, we've seen you deny time and time again that "Confessions of Super Mom" is autobiographical. But we've see you pictured in Super Mom's outfit, clutching your Swiffer…come on. You can tell us. We won't blow your cover…

Melanie Lynne Hauser :Shhh! It's funny, when my boys were much smaller, we went through a period of time when they weren't quite sure I was joking when I told them I was really Supergirl. I dressed up as her one Halloween, you see, and they wondered why I kept the costume...so I gently pulled their legs a bit and told them that they didn't know what I did after they went to bed, did they? And for a couple of months, I think they almost believed that their mom was really a superhero!

And yes, I'm sure I'll be paying for lots of therapy when they're a bit older.

Mommybloggers: Well, whatever you say, there, Melanie. We feel better knowing you're out there, cleaning up your community.

Mommybloggers: Many blogging moms aspire to be published writers. Aside from talent, time seems to be a major factor. You have two sons at home…how do you find the time to write?

Melanie Lynne Hauser :I'm the world's biggest chicken. I didn't even attempt to do this when they were really small. I concentrated on them, then when they were in school I did a couple of years' hard labor in the PTA. THEN, finally, when they were about 8 and 10, I started thinking about this. I realized it was time for me to start thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up. And I knew, somehow, that writing was something that I'd have to really devote my time and concentration to; that it couldn't be done properly in dribbles and drabs of time. So I had to be in a place in my life when my kids weren't so demanding and I was ready to wean myself from the busy life of a suburban parent. I told myself, from the start, that if I didn't take my writing seriously, how could I expect anyone else to? So I did, and I learned to say "no," and while I don't think I've sacrificed family time, I have sacrificed some friendships and anything resembling a thriving social life. Which isn't easy, but there are only 24 hours in a day, and you have to learn to prioritize.

Mommybloggers: Your blog, Refrigerator Door, is hilarious! What got you started? How has blogging affected your writing?

Melanie Lynne Hauser :Thanks! Honestly, I started my website and my blog in anticipation of my book's publication. I think every author has to have a website these days, and I was interested in a blog's ability to give readers another opportunity to get to know you, so to speak. And of course, the blogging community is wonderful and supportive and for someone who's sacrificed some real life friendships, it's a godsend. I actually think the blogging has improved my writing; it's like a wonderful little warm up exercise, just to keep the juices flowing and my mind on top of my game.

Mommybloggers: What do you think of the term "mommyblogger?" Are you a mommyblogger?

Melanie Lynne Hauser :Well, I think that labels are, for better or worse, part of every creative endeavor. In writing there's "chicklit" and "momlit" and now even "henlit." I think that's fine - it helps define an audience - as long as we're all supportive of one another. Same thing with the blogging world. It's so vast; I think it's necessary to have categories for all the different types of blogging. Although - I do admit to not loving the mommyblogs that are just a laundry list of someone's child's every burp and slobber. I tend to believe that having a blog is a responsibility in a way; there should be a bigger purpose to it than just reciting mundane events. (Although in truth, I've been guilty of this on occasion when my brain has been fried!) I have no problem being considered a mommyblogger because parenting is, naturally, the main priority in my life. And that writing about it with an eye to entertaining, maybe even enlightening, is a natural progression for me as an author. After all, authors write in order to make sense of their world.

Mommybloggers: You've been traveling quite a bit in support of your novel. You've even had the chance to rub shoulders with the stars in Hollywood. What is the funniest thing that's happened on your travels?

Melanie Lynne Hauser :Oh, this is tough! Funniest? Normally, I'm just relieved to get away from my kids for a little while - happy to be impersonating a real grown up with important things to do, if just for a day or so. So I'm always happy to travel, and tend to just remember the good parts. One funny thing (and it's a little embarrassing) - when I arrived in LA, on my Swiffer/Hollywood party trip, it was such an exhausting, overwhelming time. I'd been away from my family for a week, up in the mountains of Colorado writing the sequel; the invitation to come to Hollywood came at the very last minute, the night before I was supposed to go home. So I had a lot of arrangements to make, clothes to buy (I was literally down to my last pair of clean underwear), traveling to do. By the time I got to my hotel room I was pretty wiped out, to tell the truth. I threw my suitcase down and went out to find something to eat - I hadn't had time to eat in days, it had seemed - and all of a sudden I wanted a beer. A beer, and salted tortilla chips and guacamole, consumed while sitting in my hotel room in my new pajamas watching some trashy movie on TV. It sounded like heaven to me. So I went out and bought a six pack of Corona Light (couldn't find just one bottle, but I didn't care at that point), went to a taco place and got chips and guacamole, raced back to my hotel room, salivating, dying of thirst for this beer - and couldn't find a bottle opener. Nowhere - I turned that hotel room (which had a kitchenette, so it seemed likely to me that it would have one) upside down. I thought I remembered hotel rooms having bottle openers hung on the wall, sometimes - but not in this room. I called down to the desk, frantic - they didn't have one either. And I was just too tired - not to mention already in my jammies - to go back out and find one, so I ate my chips and taco and had to settle for a Coke from the vending machine, and I almost cried, sitting there, staring at the lovely, lovely - unopened - bottles of cold Corona.

I left them for the cleaning staff when I checked out. I'm sure they were very happy to get them! And I've since bought a small bottle opener, which will now travel with me wherever I go!

Mommybloggers: What does your husband and sons think about all this? They must be so proud of you!

Melanie Lynne Hauser :They're very proud of me - although my youngest son now wants to be paid for any ideas he contributes to future books. (He's a mini Eric Cartman.) They're also a bit unsettled, though - you know how it is as a mom. Everywhere you go, people always ask you how the kids are, how they're doing in school, etc. Well, now, when we go out, people ask me about the book first - and it's been a bit of a rude awakening for my sons, who are used to being the only topics of conversation!

But they're very proud of me, and when times were tough, and I was writing books that didn't get published, my younger son even gave me his lucky rabbit's foot to hang on to.

Mommybloggers: We hear that there's a sequel in the works – we can't wait to read it!

Melanie Lynne Hauser :SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD will be published by NAL, and will be out in early 2007. I love it - it takes Birdie and Carl to the next step in their relationship, and deals a lot with the reality of blending families. Plus, of course, there's another evil villain scheming to harm the children of Astro Park - this time, the danger involves that hallowed American tradition, Little League. And we might just find out if Birdie ever learns to fly!

The paperback of CONFESSIONS OF SUPER MOM will be out this summer, too - also by NAL.

Mommybloggers: So, Melanie, what's next? Will Super Mom be making the leap to television, or perhaps the movies? Who will play you, er, Birdie? Will Hugh Laurie be appearing as the love interest?

Melanie Lynne Hauser :The book's certainly being read by people who could make that happen, so who knows? And Hugh Laurie would be perfect as Carl! Rowrrr...I am going to have some good dreams tonight!

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

Trust

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Gimme!

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

H-E-Double Hockeysticks

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

My bedroom - for some reason, now that my boys are older, they are extremely uncomfortable going into my bedroom for any reason. So it's a pretty kid-free zone!

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

Not really applicable; the problem with adolescents is that they hide, not you!

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

What do you mean, if Oprah exists? Next you'll be telling me there's no Santa Claus!
Um, I guess I'd like to hear her say that she's a huge fan of my work! That'd be cool!

We hope you've enjoyed our conversation with Melanie Lynne Hauser. Tomorrow, check back as we feature a fantastic guest essay from Melanie!

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 2:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers:Tracey, your posts range from the rare autobiographical post (we personally love those) to links to sites that reveal a remarkably wacky sense of humor and a love of wit and irony. Is there a reason you tend to link to other sites more than you write about yourself?

tracey: i tend to think of sweetney as more conversational than writerly, but i also see its content as being very personal and autobiographical, though perhaps not in a conventional sense. while many of my posts aren't recording the typical happenings of day-to-day life, they do document more immaterial -- yet, i think, still very personal -- aspects of my life and who i am. on sweetney i record the compulsory amusing anecdotes of daily life as a SAHM to be sure, but also the ephemeral amusements, thoughts, ideas, opinions, works of art, and odd nuggets of popular culture that occupy large portions of my brain's real estate during my waking hours, wherever i am and whatever i'm doing. its analogous to making a mixtape – pulling together disparate bits and pieces of material that for whatever reason speak to me on some level into this singular amalgam that, taken altogether, says a whole lot about me and who i am. and, in any case, i’m not going for inclusion in the genre of memoir, nor am i hoping to parlay sweetney into a book deal (though more power to those who do); the web is the medium here, and so i’m just using all the tools of the web at my disposal to make this crazy little thing called sweetney.

besides, i don't think i was put here on earth to share with all of you only the exquisite joys of wiping someone else's butt all day (though, my god, it IS ecstasy); others have that market cornered and do a much better job at it than i could or would. i didn't start off trying to do something different, but its become what it is, and i enjoy it.

Mommybloggers:Your links are freaking hilarious. They range from bizarre to side-splittingly funny. How do you find this stuff?

tracey:i've been on the web since the early 90s -- i was on Prodigy in DOS, man! -- and so over the years i've managed to mine out a vast array of sources. there’s really no secret – all of my sources are out there for anyone to find. its just a matter of having the time and energy to dig em’ up. i also benefit from having a husband in the web dev business and a lot of very cool web-addicted friends who send me material.

but if you were expecting me to cough up specific URLs or something, you’re sadly mistaken, ladies. i worked for those, man, and you’ll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Mommybloggers:What do you feel molded that spectacular sense of humor of yours? Because Tracey, you are funny. Damn. You are funny.

tracey:well, umm, thanks! but the unfunny answer to this question (sorry, dudes) is that i think the development of my sense of humor probably connects strongly with having a really hard time socially as a pre-teen and teenager. my folks moved around a lot during those years and i was kind of a misfit-type, and as a result of those two things had a hard time fitting in during that stage of life when fitting in is paramount. as i see it, there are two way to respond to social ostracism of the sort i experienced in those years: 1) withdraw from the social system and become angry and bitter (and later maybe, oh i don't know, blow up your high school or something), or 2) renounce the system and become funny in spite of it. i chose the latter path, and remained nearly sane by honing my ability to find humor in what would otherwise be really painful, soul-crushing situations and experiences.

obsessive consumption of Monty Python's Flying Circus in the late 70s (yes i'm old. shut up.) and a powerful Steve Martin fixation during my pre-teen years probably didn't hurt, either.

so, to sum up: childhood trauma and resultant defense mechanisms? a laff riot!!

Mommybloggers:Baltimore seems like a great place to let your freak flag fly. As a published poet and riot grrl, do you find that your environment adds to your creativity? Besides sweetney.com, what other projects are you working on?

tracey:i honestly can't say enough good things about Baltimore. its strange, but it really is a city of outcasts and weirdos, though i've yet to determine whether the city actively inspires weirdness or just attracts it (or both, i suppose). and so, yes, i feel very much at home here. i love Baltimore’s battered-underdog-roughness, and strongly identify with its defiant spirit (which i rhapsodized about here); its very, well, punk rock, i guess.

as for other projects, i’ve just signed on to be a blogher contributing editor, so that’ll give me a nice little platform for talking shit about all those pathetic mommybloggers (oh wait, I’m one of those!); i’m also working on getting a website together for our artist friend, seth, trying to get back into writing poetry, and waiting on my fancy pants new camera, so that i can assail blogdom with a deluge of purty pitchers. then of course there’s rock-n-romp, which will soon be sucking up a great deal of my time and life-energy, as i battle the forces of band scheduling evil (which will require the application of all my superpowers) to bring the rock to the peoples.

the life, she is hard. sniff.

Mommybloggers:Motherhood = punk rock. True or false?

tracey: hmm. that depends on the mother in question. “punk� to me implies, at its core, anti-establishment tendencies, and i think there are most definitely aspects of being a parent and raising a child that can be “punk rock.� for example, not being brainwashed by Our Great And Powerful Parenting Overlords into believing that you must do things a certain way on a specific timetable with all kinds of equipment and manuals and shit is a start. to be frank, i’m deeply disturbed by the current baby-genius-making culture of parenting presently in vogue, as it manages to somehow convince otherwise reasonable human beings that they need to send their 9-month-olds to baby ‘classes,’ organize developmentally appropriate learning activities, and orchestrate artificial teachable moments (honestly, just typing out that last sentence made me more than a little queasy). is it not apparent that all of this is crazy talk? aren’t parents under enough pressure already? let kids play! let kids be kids! let them learn in the ways they learn best – by naturally exploring and interacting with their normal, uncontrived environment. so please, please, calm the fuck down everybody! don’t drink the koolaid, parents! DO NOT DRINK THE KOOLAID!!

i’m sorry… uhh, what was the question?

Mommybloggers:So, Tracey, it seems we opened up a pandora's box when we asked for praise from your readers. There was a mixed response to the term "mommyblogger" and whether or not it applied to you. Some people felt the term should not be used in relation to you, because you write about things that are intelligent and funny and relevant, as opposed to the fluffy, feel-good stories about baby puke that mommybloggers are known for.

The term seemed to raise hackles on all sides. Has "mommyblogger" become a bad word? If so, why? Why should we even care about the label?

tracey: i think its fair to say that the term is often used in a derogatory, dismissive sense to evoke a stereotype, namely: mothers with depthless blogs who prattle on endlessly about superficial minutiae related to childrearing. but all blogs are self-indulgent – swap baby puke stories for i got so wasted i puked stories and you have the worst of 20-something bloggers, and so on. these are just stereotypes -- massive generalizations that are both inappropriate and incorrect when applied to masses of blogs. in every corner of blogging there are inept and boring writers, without a doubt, but what i find interesting is how the term “mommyblogger� has come to more broadly be used to simply signify bad writing. i’ve lately seen the term thrown out as a kind of comprehensive put-down, aimed at blogs not even vaguely about parenting or children, written by people who don’t even have kids. obviously the singling-out of “mommybloggers� as a catch-all condemnation has a lot to do with the status of women in society and, more specifically, societal attitudes about motherhood (SAHMs in particular)… and all of this of course just makes my blood boil, but its reality, and we need to confront that if we want to fight to change it.

Mommybloggers:Is it fair to say that we are "reclaiming" the label?

tracey: i hope so. and, well, i for one am down with actively trying to reclaim the label. heads up: it doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon and we’re likely stuck with it. so i do hope that, in service of the greater mommyblogging good, sweetney can serve as one example (among many) of a mommyblog that refuses to be typecast.

ladies, lest we forget: something like 55% of the world is women. if we collectively decide to imbue the label with power, it will redefine itself.

alternately, we could all just start calling ourselves “da muthabloggas� (number one in the hood, y’all!) – as i’ve suggested previously – and wash our hands of the whole thing.

its a thought. [cough]

Mommybloggers:Tracey, we loved meeting you at BlogHer. You seemed to make a point of getting out and meeting new people. We feel it is important to keep the conversation going, and to constantly expand our genre. How do you think we can create a sense of community with other bloggers?

tracey: well i don’t know about you guys, but gifts of large sums of cash and pretty shiny things have always helped me to create a sense of, ahem, community with others. heh.

actually i think we just need to focus on supporting each other right now, on building a strong community from within. not to get all women together, loving one another sappy or anything, but i think before we conquer the world we have to conquer ourselves, know what i mean? SEE: squash cattiness and gossip; be good to one another; minimize shit-talking; heap praise on those worthy of the praise-heaping; assume the best not the worst of each other; be supportive not competitive; link, blogroll, read, comment, etcetera… lather, rinse, repeat.

if the community of women bloggers comes together – truly together – without the clawing and the pulling of hair and the breaking of nails, seriously guys, there’s nothing that can fucking stop us.

except maybe a sale at Bloomingdales.

oh, i kid! i kid because i love!

And here are the questions we ask all our featured guests:

1. What is your favorite parent related word? right now?

preschool. ah, the sweet, sweet release of preschool…

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?
whining. nuff said.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?
dangnabbit. because it immediately makes me feel like Yosemite Sam, and thus cracks my shit right up.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?
i pretty much retreat to the bedroom when things get a little too hairy… though what i really wanted to say here was “why, i retire to my super-secret underground relaxation bunker.� why don’t i have a super-secret underground relaxation bunker, dangnabbit?!? so unfair.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?
the bathroom. solitary use of that in any fashion was pretty much over once mina realized she had the power to open doors. the day she added that knowledge to her little toddler swiss-army-knife-like skillset was a sad, sad day in sweetneyland, indeed.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers? “sweetney…. I’M GIVING YOU A BRAND NEW CAR!!!� [insert wild applause]

Be sure to check back tomorrow, as tracey graces us with some muthabloggin' freestyle in her guest entry here on Mommybloggers.

Posted by mommybloggers at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Welcome, Mindy! Thanks for joining us here at Mommybloggers.com.

Mommybloggers: As a personal blogger, you've chronicled everything from parental pride, the end of your former career and marriage, to your successful re-entry to working and your new relationship. Why call it "The Mommy Blog?" Wouldn't "The Mindy Blog" be more appropriate?

Mindy: Anything named "Mindy" is eminently appropriate! Actually, I've gotten this question before, and response is always: what part of this is separate from being a mom? Isn't that the whole context? Wouldn't I make different decisions if I were childless? Wouldn't I have the FREEDOM to make different decisions if I were childless? Doy. See, the rest of that stuff is transient and context-driven: married/divorced, employed/system-sucking unemployment benefit recipient—it can all change without changing me all that much. Being a mother, however, is forever and affects everything you think and say and do. No matter what, you have a tether to another being that can never be broken, traded, or annulled. Everything else can be handle with cash.

Mommybloggers: Your frank descriptions of life as a single, working mother of three young kids have won you many fans. It has also attracted negative attention at times? How do you keep your head on straight?

Mindy: I beg your pardon? Me no speakee the English.

I have no idea, to tell you the truth. Back when it was just me writing in a word doc and not showing anyone, my husband and others said, "Oh, that's nice. Good idea." When I took it online because I got tired of being unable to access it remotely, it was still, "Aw, how cute." And then, and THEN, I realized that the link lists meant that people were finding me just as rapidly as I was finding them, and with comments as proof that people were following, all hell broke loose. Wisely or not, I kept going because to give up would be to admit that it was somehow inappropriate, clandestine, shameful. It wasn't. It was a labor of love, a chronicle of my family's early life. Hell, it doesn't even start until my youngest is practically walking. I think people got nervous because they were worried I would spill secrets, share inappropriately… but I have not written anything I haven't already said to the person in question, or WOULD say, because I know for dingdang sure that they will hear about it eventually.

Mommybloggers: Give us three words that describe your parenting style.

Mindy: Funny, consistent, and firmly attached.

Mommybloggers: You've said that your blog is a place to record your stories and memories for your children. Have you stayed true to that goal, or has your blog taken on additional purpose?

Mindy: I think it’s stayed true to that goal. In fact, it’s truer now than it was in the beginning. The early entries are stilted and bland and don’t get very interesting until some of my own voice and experiences and perspectives begin creeping in. The only additional goal, if you can even call it that, is to have a form of it published—both to offer it up to more moms who have found comfort and humor in my stories, and to make a little moola if it’s there to be made. I’ve already made a bit on advertising goods I’d link to anyway!

Mommybloggers: Have you always been a writer? How has blogging changed your writing?

Mindy: I don’t know that I’ve always been a writer per se, but I’ve always been good at it. I was always a cut-up (I know, I can’t picture it either) and my school papers always had an edge that made it entertaining for me to write them. Otherwise I’d have had to gouge my eyes out from the tedium.

Interestingly enough, I can’t write fiction. I have to write about things that actually happened to me, not that I have to make anything up. I only ever wrote one short story that was any good, and it wasn’t even good by literary standards. It was only good because my high school English teacher pulled me out of class to ask me if it was true.

Mommybloggers: What do you think of the term "mommyblogger?" Are the negative connotations deserved? Do you use it to describe your blog?

Mindy: Only because that’s where the hits are, baby. An astounding number of people find me by searching for “mommy blog� after reading about the whole mommy blogging phenomenon. The name was pure coincidence, btw. When I first set up the blog and had to give it a name, The Mommy Blog was just a place holder. I couldn’t think of anything at the moment and figured, hell, I’m a mommy and this is a blog, so The Mommy Blog it is. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the name had become part of the URL, and by then I was too lazy to change it.

Mommybloggers: Do you aspire to become an internet celebrity? How about a household name? What impact can online writers expect to have on the world?

Mindy: Not at all. I have no internetty aspirations. I have a lot of fun, I have an outlet, I have a way to let things out and process things and keep myself sane, but I wouldn’t call any of it ambitious.

Online writers are having a huge effect on the world one household at a time. Bloggers don’t reach crowds who hear what they have to say in a unified context or in the same environment and with equal impact. They reach one person relaxing with a glass of wine after a long day, another in the three minutes she can get away with not holding her baby, yet more on their lunch hours, interrupted whenever someone walks by the cubicle door. Each person absorbs things differently and to a different extent. But if they can come away with something in common with the writer, or with the other readers, that is extraordinary. It is making a big difference in tiny doses. That’s what it was like for me when I discovered blogs. And I think the most profound effects are the unintentional ones. I was never trying to reach anyone but my children, twenty years into the future. The rest was accidental.

Mommybloggers: Let's talk about the book for a minute. Tell us how it came about? How is it different from the material available on The Mommy Blog? Are there other projects in the works?

Mindy: The book. Man. I have NO idea how it came about. I think it was from listening to people say the same thing over and over, pounding me to write this stuff down, telling me it was classically hilarious and familiar at the same time. I’m a storyteller. I can’t shut up. And if people thought it sounded good in conversation, and then on the blog, then maybe a book was worth a shot. I figured that my traffic demonstrated a market for a book adapted from the thousands of posts, and that I could fill in some of the back-story and context so that those who have been reading all along will still have something new to discover. As much as I have written about my daily life, it is nothing compared to what I have edited out.

Mommybloggers: Tell us about Mr. X ? readers were delighted to learn you had a new man in your life. Was it a tough call to share details of your relationship?

Mindy: Oh you think you’ve had details. That’s good. (But isn’t he fun?)

Actually, it wasn’t so much a tough call whether to share the fact of it, My marriage had ended long before I met him, and I was more concerned about preventing any of his students from Googling him and finding ME. I may be overreacting, but I seriously don’t need his students reading my blog.

My family and my ex have all met him and like him very much, so there was minimal potential friction there. People have been very happy for me—I mean, come on, there is only so much you can take of a mopey, dejected Mindy. Best of all, the kids love him, so I think it will be fun when they’re older and read about him. He’s part of my life now, and it would be strange not to talk about him. However, WE ARE NOT ENGAGED.

Mommybloggers: You've had the opportunity to visit quite a few fellow bloggers at their homes, and have forged many connections through your writing. What is the most unexpected connection you've gained?

Mindy: On a serious note, it’s the women who write to say that something has changed in their lives as a result of reading some of my writing. I have no idea what’s up with that. One woman found the courage to leave her unhappy marriage, one found a new perspective as a divorced mother of three, one attempted suicide but—thank God—is okay now. I haven’t met any of those women, but they had the most profound, unexpected effect on me.

As for the people I have met in their homes, the unexpected connection has been with their children. Knowing the parents is one thing, but meeting and getting to know the children later has been amazing. Now when I see photos of them on friends’ blogs, my heart actually hurts. I miss them. If I ever meet any of y’alls kids, I’ll be doomed.

Mommybloggers: Many of the blogging get-togethers seem to dissolve into drunken love-fests. There are incriminating photos, Mindy. (In fact, we're in many of them.) Do you have a standard theme song for these events?

Mindy: HA! Never thought about it but two songs just popped into my head: Hollaback Girl and Lady Marmalade. Is that wrong?

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word? Snuggles. It’s not strictly parent-related, but it comes up every time my kids are asked what they like best about their mom. 2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

Parenting by proxy. (Pretend it’s one word.) The idea is offensive, even to someone like me who believes that kids should be in day care the very minimal amount of time a family can manage. There has never been a time in history when a mother hasn’t needed or wanted help managing and caring for the children. Humans in general are just too dang busy to be on the job twenty-four/seven. Someone has got to be there for the breathers.

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

Famangia. Been saying that my whole life. That’s if I’m not very upset. When I’m very upset, I can’t finish a word, and am not creative enough to make up a new one so it sounds like what-the-f…-you-little-stinker-get-your-…self-over-here-I-am-so-fr… eaking-mad-right-now-don’t-you-MOVE.

The one I shout in public is “MARSHMALLOWS!� That’s from back when we used to have marshmallow contests. You know, who can be the best marshmallow, they can’t talk, or move, or breathe, or… you get the picture. But now they just ignore it and I look like I have Turret’s.

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

You mean we get to use HIDING PLACES? There is nowhere to hide from my kids. I just sort of disappear into my monitor and pray for SpongeBob.

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

Honey, my place is so small you can’t scratch without someone hearing you. I just go for the bed and figure they have to climb up and drag me out if they want me.

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

I want her to be motherfucking speechless. (Sorry, I had to make that sentence fancy because I can’t think of anything.) Um, it would be nice if she did that start, stop, start thing where she tries to do the introduction but has to pause to sigh, look heavenward, or otherwise acknowledge the chances of my having survived the mahoosive shitstorm that was my life for the past few years. I’d like to be introduced as the MacGuyver of Limbic Bodyswerves.

Want more Mindy? Find more at The Mommy Blog, and check back tomorrow as Mindy returns with a not-to-be-missed guest entry.

Posted by Jenny Lauck at 1:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Hi Mary! We went through your archives from 2002 over at momwrites and had a blast reading about all of your hijinks!

Mary Tsao: Thanks! When I started journaling I didn't include code for comments so the only ones I got were from my mom or mother-in-law. In some ways I miss those days before comments, statistics, Technorati ranking, etc. Although I do think my writing has improved now that I know for sure I have an audience greater than two.

Mommybloggers: Mary, you recently participated in NaNoWriMo. Congratulations on completing the regimen! How in the world did you get all that writing done with two small children?

Mary Tsao: Thanks! It feels pretty good to have finished what I started out to do. I haven't always been such an uber achiever. In fact, I would say that before kids I was more of an underachiever. Having kids has taught me about discipline and routine and that's how I was able to write 50,000 words in 25 days. I wrote 2,000 words a day, every day.

Sometimes the kids were awake (we have a laptop in the kitchen/family room), sometimes the kids were napping, and sometimes they were sleeping. I just made sure that I got in my word count every day without fail. It helped that I "shelved" the idea that my writing had to be good. The point was in the exercise as much as in the result. And it worked!

Mommybloggers: What inspired you to start that project? I mean, really... We're not worthy!

Mary Tsao: I dream of being a career writer of fiction but I had never written fiction in my life. I thought I'd better give it a try to see if I could pull it off or if I should go shopping for a new goal.

Mommybloggers: Mary, so give us the scoop, okay? What inspired the subject matter for the project?

Mary Tsao: The book is about the relationship between a new mother and her older neighbor. I'm a (relatively) new mother and I live next door to an old(er) woman so those facts could constitute my inspiration, but I'm also very interested in the relationships between young and old women in general. With the baby boomers aging and the whole sandwich generation thing, I wonder a lot about how that could (and should) encourage women to bridge the generation gap to learn from each other, to be better friends, etc.

Mommybloggers: There is so much to learn, and there are so many experienced women out there who are willing to share their secrets...what a great idea. What surprised you the most about the project?

Mary Tsao: That would definitely have to be the fact that I did it. Period.

Mommybloggers: No small feat. Do you plan to publish the finished product?

Mary Tsao: I plan on working on the book starting in January (gotta love those New Years resolutions!). It needs mucho editing, re-writes, new writing. After I give it some attention, I'll see if it's worth submitting. Eventually, yes, I would like to see this book (or some book I write) on a bookshelf.

Mommybloggers: Mary, you started your online journal in 2002, which transformed over the years into your site "mom writes". What inspired you to start writing?

Mary Tsao: When I started my journal I had just gotten out of a crappy co-dependent relationship and had moved into my first studio apartment. I was exercising and feeling good both mentally and physically. I finally had the confidence to write and to be happy with what I had written. I chose an online medium because the fact that other people could/would read it was the impetus I needed to keep it up.

Mommybloggers: I linked to your mother-in-law's blog from yours. One of her links is to Pete Townshend's blog. My maiden name is Townsend. I have to ask, is that really Pete Townshend's blog? Is your mom really so cool as to LINK to Pete Townshend's blog?

Mary Tsao: That's my mother in law, and yes, she's super cool. Now, whether or not that blog is the *real* Pete Townshend's blog, I have no idea... Real is a word that has been re-defined by the Interweb.

Mommybloggers: Mary, Based on what I read, I think you also grew up in the Midwest. Tell me a little about your hometown.

Mary Tsao: I grew up in Oak Park, Illinois, which is a tree-lined suburb of Chicago. Oak Park is the home to many Frank Lloyd Wright buildings and was the birthplace of Ernest Hemingway. It was a great place to be a kid, too. I have lots of fond memories of walking to school (we lived 2 blocks from the elementary school); going home for lunch (Campbell's tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich eaten in front of the TV); playing tag, hide-n-seek, and kick the can in the street; hearing my name being called from the back door when it was time to come home; catching fireflies in jars; being allowed to stay out until the streetlights came on, all of my friends living in a one-block radiusm of my house. Unfortunately, we moved to Houston, TX, when I was in third grade. Goodbye fireflies, hello cockroaches!

Mommybloggers:Cockroaches. The lack of cockroaches in Minnesota nearly makes the cruel, heartless winters worthwhile. Blech. What kind of a kid were you?

Mary Tsao: Quiet, introverted, 10 going on 30, bookworm. I'm a twin and my sister Barb was the extroverted one. My first crush was Donny Osmond. I sent him my second grade school picture and he never wrote back. My second crush was Andy Gibb. He died when I was in college from a drug-related heart attack. I'm still trying to get over these two events.

Mommybloggers: Unrequited love. Sigh. Please let us know if we can do anything to help with the healing process. So Mary, The term "mommyblogger". What do you think of it? Love it? Want to drown it in a brick-laden sack in the river?

Mary: I think it's cute. As mommies, we are surrounded by cuteness. It's only natural that we apply cute labels to all aspects of our life. That's why we say "baby dance" when we mean having sex with the intent to procreate. Or why we drive "mini vans," when there's nothing miniature about them.

Mommybloggers: And here are the questions we subject all of our featured bloggers to (With apologies to Bernard Pivot and Inside the Actors Studio):

1. What is your favorite parent related word?

"Mommy"

2. What is your least favorite parent related word?

"Poo"

3. What is your favorite creative censored curse word used around children?

"Gosh darnit. (Although that's not too terribly creative, is it? To be honest, when the situation calls for a curse word, I use a curse word. Maybe that will stop when my kids are old enough to repeat what I say...)"

4. What is your favorite hiding place within your home when you need to get away from it all?

"My office, which is on the far end of the house. If I go in there and slam the door shut behind me, my family gets the hint."

5. What hiding place have you been found in too often and can no longer use?

"Unfortunately, there are no true hiding places in our house. My imaginary dream house of the future definitely has a hiding place--a master bedroom on the opposite end of the house from the kids' bedrooms that contains a whirlpool tub, a walk-in rock shower with dual showerheads, a separate alcove with a big comfy chair and a writing table, and a king-sized bed with a TV that comes down from the ceiling. But it's not like I think about it all the time or anything."

6. If Oprah exists, what would you like to hear her say when you arrive at the Oprah Winfrey show when she features the Mommybloggers?

"Any sentence that contains the words "my favorite things" and I'll jump up and down and scream just like the people I laugh at now. Also, if I'm the mommyblogger she introduces as an "author" that would be cool, too."

Mary, we have had a blast featuring you, and look forward to posting your essay tomorrow. Thanks for playing with us! You are a treasure, Mary. Thank you.

Posted by mommybloggers at 3:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Mommybloggers: Okay, Mamacita…level with us. What got you started with blogging?

Mamacita: My first short-lived (about a month) blog was a disaster! I was talked into it by someone I used to know, and was immediately attacked by trolls and harassed till I took it down out of sheer self-preservation. Then, I was talked into trying again, by someone else, so I chose a different blogsite and started posting silly things that happened during the course of my school day. I didn't post anything personal because I was afraid of the trolls! (In other words, my blog-start was a scary one; it took a lot of courage to start again. The only people I'd met had turned out to be horrible, and I was frankly truly afraid of the internet.) When I resigned from that teaching job (I just couldn't deal with the moronic peripherals any more; I adored my students but enough was enough), I was full of self-doubt; I'd never done anything else but teach in that school, and I was panic-stricken about starting a new career at the college level. I began posting more personal 'sagas' and discovered that it was better than a shrink! Now, I'm addicted, and if I'm away from a computer for more than a few hours at a time, I actually tremble. I mean, STUFF could be happening and I wouldn't know it! Our budget is so tight now because of my career change that it's hard to make ends meet, but internet access is right up there at the top of the priority list.

Mommybloggers: You have two children, now in their 20s. Some of our favorite entries deal with your adventures as a young wife and mother. Critics often speculate that as our children grow up, they will undoubtedly be horrified by our stories of their childhood, and our audacity to share them online. How do your children feel about your blog?

Mamacita: My daughter reads it regularly, and is, herself, a blogger, although she doesn't update very frequently. She comments on mine sometimes, esp. when I've got a date or location wrong. My son knows I have a blog and has made it very clear that I am not to embarrass him in any way on it. Apparently he doesn't read it, because I have never taken orders from my kids and I don't intend to start now, and if I want to post about how he used to play with his own poop and smear it all over his bed and toys, I will. And I did.

Mommybloggers: You paint a portrait of yourself as a mother who continues to laugh and love her way through the trials and tribulations of parenting. Any advice for those of us who are still slogging our way through the toddler trenches?

Mamacita: Advice? Parents don't take advice from other parents! They only believe BOOKS, by CHILDLESS PSYCHOLOGISTS! Seriously, the best advice I could give a young parent is, 'This, too, shall pass.' And when it does pass, you'll miss it. As I told a sweet internet friend just today, the day will come when you will truly miss all the chaos. Your house will be clean and tidy and quiet as the tomb, and you'll find yourself borrowing other people's children every chance you get. The second best advice I have is: "Enjoy your children." Our kids are not perfect, but guess what? Neither are we. Trust your instincts. Let them be children, and play. Don't overschedule. Turn off the TV and play with them. And teach them to behave in public. A child with good manners is one of the most beautiful sights in the universe. Requiring your child to be well-behaved will bring much joy to your life, and to the lives of those who are near your child. Oh, and one more piece of advice: Don't wish their lives away. Even during the most difficult phases, there is beauty. Don't spend their childhood anticipating when they're older. It will happen soon enough, and you'll never be the same when it does. Oh yes: Pick your battles. This one gets more and more important as your kids get older. Hair? Not worth it, let it go. Curfew? Negotiable. Backtalk? Never. <